A Great Disaster has befallen this world.
For too long we have succumbed to the bitter edge
that power is lost in the sweet and tender.
Romantic is not weak. Feminine is not weak. Cute is not weak.
We are fragmented and multifaceted.
The lack of emotion is often favored because success is credited to the mechanical and efficient. But sentimentality, empathy, and softness should not be seen as weaknesses.
We see the limitations of corporeality. As individuals
We feel our bodies existing daily in this universe
drifting towards the body illusory.
As dreamers, we explore the body liminal.
We reach into the darkness through the stars
towards our endless brilliant bodies,
whispering our invincible spell across space and time.
Force without master,
Heed the call of my ___ of dreams
and become my power:
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Within the irl magical girl community, there is a heavy emphasis on the importance of astral work and strengthening one’s ‘clairsenses’ but I see a lot of newer magicians struggle with basic techniques for quieting the mind and preparing the physical body for magical work.
While this post will not be exhaustive by any means, I hope there will be enough for you to be able take something away that will help you in your journey!
This post is part of my Magi Praxis series. If you have any suggestions for future topics, or you have attempted anything I have shared and want you share your experiences, please send me a message! I am always happy to go back and provide further explanation as well. ☆
When folks think of the act of meditation, they generally picture something akin to a Buddhist meditation: someone sitting in a full or partial Lotus position, eyes closed, and perhaps holding their hands in some sort of mudra and intonating ‘om’.
While this is perfectly acceptable, there are many ways to tailor the act of meditation to your mental and physical needs. After all, the act of meditation is not about the aesthetics—it’s about regulating your mind and body to be quiet but open in the present.
1. Avoid laying down, particularly in bed
While it is important to be comfortable during your meditation session, this is also a disciplined act. If you lay down in bed to meditate, you may find you have a higher propensity of falling asleep during your session.
If you cannot sit upright on the floor unsupported with anything but a meditation cushion, try sitting upright in a chair with your feet planted on the ground and your hands rested on your knees. Maintaining balance and good body alignment is part of the discipline of meditation—it subtly reminds your body that this act is intentional and you are not preparing to fall asleep.
It is also possible to meditate while in motion! Walking and working meditations are excellent, particularly for those of us who get restless sitting in one spot for too long.
For a walking meditation, plan out a safe path to travel free from obstructions. This can be indoors or outdoors! Focus your gaze low towards your feet, a few inches in front of you. Walk slowly and deliberately, taking care to stay balanced and consistent in your strides and maintain a regular breathing pattern. As for your hands, try not to have them dangle by your sides; clasp your hands gently and hold them near your core.
Working meditations can be done with most regular chores, like cleaning or washing dishes, and other repetitive tasks. Once you fall into a comfortable rhythm of motion, focus gently on the task in front of you. Avoid scrutinizing the details—let the actions and aural, visual, and tactile stimuli move through you consistently.
2. You don’t have to close your eyes
You can totally meditate with your eyes closed if you prefer but I find that a soft gaze landing a few inches in front of me yields a more productive meditation session.
Even if you decide to focus on a specific object or point in your field of vision, try to avoid straining too hard! This can easily stray into the territory of ‘object concentration’ which I may discuss more in a future post.
3. Forget about ‘silencing the mind’
In many occult resources, practitioners say that the goal of meditation is attaining an absence of thought. For most people, this is just not possible or sustainable over a long period of time regardless of neurotype.
Instead, allow these moments of mental silence to come and go naturally. To some practitioners, it may feel or be akin to dissociation but this is not necessarily a bad thing! Try to gently note what coaxes you into that state, if you can. At first, you may not experience it at all and that’s perfectly fine. Meditation is a practice and with time you will be able to notice and perhaps work within that mental ‘void’ space.
4. That being said, focus on something
When we have nothing to focus on, our mind wants to wander. Focus on your breath—try to maintain a regular cadence (of breathing in, holding in your breath, breathing out, sitting with no air) and choose a number to work up to. Start small with a count of 5 and repeat for the duration of your session. If you lose track, start again. Once you are comfortable with 5 counts, ramp up to 10. Prayer beads are a great tool for this as you can match the tactile sensation of the beads to the act of counting. If you are doing a walking meditation, match your steps to your breathing.
If you are meditating with your eyes open, you can also just observe subtle changes in your environment while counting your breaths. Notice the shifts in light and shadow or how a gentle breeze effects your surroundings; let these moments pass as quickly as they come.
With practice, you’ll be able to refocus your mind when you notice it wandering. If you find yourself gravitating towards certain thoughts or signs during your session, try to take note of them afterwards! If you forget, try not to stress about it; with time, your retention will improve.
Particularly if you identify as a magical hero: how do you verify your work is making a positive impact on your surroundings? If you hunt Witches or other aberrations, do you or others notice any changes if you defeat one?
As with any magical practice, I think it’s important to be able to step back and look critically at your own work—to see if your magia is doing what you want it to: if it is, document your successes and see if you can replicate them; if it isn’t, be sure to take accountability and note any outcomes you didn’t expect.
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Alrighty, I feel bad that I have to say this but please, please do not rope me into your interpersonal drama within the irl magical girl community.
I am an adult. It goes without saying that I want to be able to help you be the best magical hero you can be; if you feel threatened, of course I will try to ensure your safety in whatever way I can.
I want to believe that folks mean well but please be careful about throwing around accusations. At the same time, tag sensitive content accordingly and diligently (especially if you think minors can see it and it could be misconstrued as actual criminal behavior).
But make no mistake: if you participate in, openly discuss, or excuse actions that violate someone’s personal agency, I am not your ally. As a parent, a first responder, and a sex educator, I will absolutely kink shame unethical practices and side-eye ‘identities’ that glorify taking advantage of individuals that cannot consent.
What got you into the pursuit of practicing magia?
For me, I think it was love.
Not a romantic love or a love for a specific person (though I was surely experiencing that as well), but a deep, sad love for the world and those that inhabit it. Through my mahō shōjo work I’ve come to be able to hold and make space that gut-wrenching sadness and aching love for the world while also actively putting energy towards a brighter, softer future.
My first intentional spells were focused on healing and taking physical and emotional pain away from others, often redirecting it to myself. I know now that that kind of self-sacrifice for magic is unnecessary and often counterproductive but I remember feeling so strongly that my existence was only good for relieving the discomfort of others and I became obsessed with that notion for a long time. This kind of magical thinking put me in a dark place, especially in middle and high school, and often made me susceptible to abuse. Even now I sometimes catch myself starting to think along those lines and have to work to not let it overwhelm me.
I think this is why CLAMP’s works and Puella Magi Madoka Magica struck such a chord with me in particular. Many of these characters similarly felt overcome with immense feelings of deep, and sometimes painful, love and struggled with fears of inadequacy which pushed them towards self-sacrificial tendancies and even martyrdom. That being said, I also see in them profound hope and optimism for a better world, which is something I always seek to emulate in my magia.
Absolutely let yourself feel things immensely. It is not just okay but beautiful to love and cry over little things that may seem insignificant to others.
I only ask that you don’t allow feelings of self-sacrifice to dwarf everything else. While it may start from a very real, empathetic place, it can quickly becoming dehumanizing not only to you but to those who you wish to help.
You need to remember that in this life, in this body, you have needs. Your body deserves the same love and affection you are offering up to the world.
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Since I was diagnosed with ADHD/AuDHD fairly late (read: well into my adulthood), it’s taken a long time for me to find therapy that works for me. From my teens to my mid-20s I was finding that typical talk therapy was not working for my Depression and Anxiety; I would leave sessions more stressed and confused than when I began.
After almost a decade on hiatus from seeking a new therapists, I’ve found someone incredible that specializes in working with queer and neurodivergent folks. Even though we haven’t really gotten into the meat of the work we want to do, the amount of self-reflection and identification of things in my internal system I have been able to do so far has been mind-blowing. I’ve already learned so much about how my brain works as well as the connections and safeguards it has put up for me over the course of my life.
I know a lot of people shy away from the idea of doing shadow work for various reasons—I think it’s particularly understandable when so many people push questionable techniques without proper evidence or guidance! That being said, I do think some amount of introspective work is key to becoming the best magician you can be.
I’ve mentioned this in previous posts that touch on this but absolutely only undergo these practices with or under the supervision of a trusted therapist or mental health provider. Especially when you’re starting to identify and wrestle with trauma, this sort of guidance is extremely important.
This is all to say, there are practices out there that can work for you. I all but resigned myself to the fact that I was somehow doing therapy wrong but it turns out that approach was just wrong for me.
