Tomorrow Is The Day I Stop Procrastinating

ppl who don’t make an effort to listen to their partner(s) abt their interests bc they “don’t like it” scare me

every girl wants to get in a vehicle and flip 3-6 switches overhead in the process of turning it on

More things should be operated with big thumb switches and knobs and dials and shit.

i dont miss overwatch but i miss the psychosexual dynamics of playing mercy or whatever like. getting to briefly exist in the body of The blender porn girl you know

playing mercy and just thinking wow everybody in this match wants to fuck me

Playing pyro in tf2 is still like this

Bro this coffee cake is lowkey cumming in my ass right now

I don't think so

*getting really defensive* I’m literally getting cummed in by it right now

I'm a pacifist like institutionally but I'm absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don't believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust

this feels like dragging around a mummified corpse thats dressed as a clown

Excited for the traffic jams this will cause. I hope at least one casino gets shut down due to a (nonlethal) slot machine crowd crush incident

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.