Dazai's little Mischief

Chuuya: “You sounded so confident a minute ago.”

Your grip tightens on the phone.

Chuuya (quiet, teasing): “Don’t mind me. Just admiring how good you sound when you’re trying not to melt.”

He blows lightly against your ear.

Your brain short-circuits.

You (into phone): “Y-yeah, I’ll have it done tonight—no, I’m fine—just… cold air—!”

Chuuya’s quiet laugh vibrates right behind your shoulder.

🩹 Dazai Osamu — Sabotage in Silk Gloves

You’re typing rapidly on your laptop while talking to a colleague on speaker.

The report is almost finished. Just a few more lines.

Then your keyboard stops working.

Because someone has sat on the desk.

You look up.

Dazai Osamu tilts his head, studying your face like a curious cat.

His fingers slip under your chin, lifting it slightly.

Dazai (innocent tone): “You make the cutest face when you’re concentrating.”

Your eye twitches.

Dazai: “Do you always furrow your brows like that? It makes me want to kiss the stress away.”

His thumb brushes your cheek.

You immediately smack him with the nearest tool.

You: “Back. Off.”

He grins like you just confirmed his hypothesis.

Dazai: “Too late. You started the war.”

🐯 Atsushi Nakajima — Shy but Effective

You’re fixing a small drone while explaining something to a friend over the phone.

“…and then if I recalibrate the stabilizer—”

Atsushi Nakajima quietly sits beside you.

He watches for a moment.

Then, carefully, he places his hand over yours.

Warm. Gentle.

You stop talking mid-sentence.

His thumb brushes lightly over your knuckles.

Atsushi (soft): “You take care of everyone.”

A small pause.

Atsushi: “Let me return the favor.”

The drone part slips out of your fingers.

You mute the call immediately.

You: “Atsushi… that was dangerously smooth.”

He turns bright red.

Atsushi: “I practiced…”

🍭 Ranpo Edogawa — Devil in Candy Wrappers

You’re presenting an idea to someone over a video call.

Behind you, Ranpo Edogawa wanders in, clearly bored.

He grabs a lollipop from your drawer.

Then crouches beside your chair.

Before you can react, his head rests comfortably on your lap.

Your brain freezes.

His finger lazily traces shapes on your knee.

Ranpo (murmuring): “Try not to lose your place, genius.”

You stare at the screen in horror.

You: “…As I was saying, the system utilizes—”

The person on the call squints.

“Are you alright? You look… distracted.”

Ranpo grins without even opening his eyes.

☕ Oda Sakunosuke — Calm Sabotage

You’re sitting on the couch while discussing something important on the phone.

Sakunosuke Oda sits beside you quietly with a cup of coffee.

You assume he’s just listening.

Until his socked foot slowly brushes along your calf.

Your voice stutters.

The movement continues, deliberate and slow.

Then he reaches over and gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

He goes back to drinking his coffee like nothing happened.

Oda (quietly): “Your focus is impressive.”

You stare into the middle distance.

You: “I will end you when this call is over.”

He takes another sip.

Oda: “Promises.”

🎪 Nikolai Gogol — Maximum Chaos

You’re giving a very serious explanation over your headset.

Mid-sentence—

POOF.

Nikolai Gogol appears upside-down across your couch.

He is wearing your oversized hoodie.

And apparently nothing else visible.

He locks eyes with you.

Then slowly twirls his rat tail around a finger.

And silently mouths:

“Pull me.”

You choke on your own words.

You (into mic): “S-sorry. Minor technical issues.”

Nikolai beams proudly.

Nikolai: “Karma~!”

🪶 Fyodor Dostoyevsky — Silent but Deadly

You’re live-streaming some code debugging while explaining your process.

The room feels… colder.

You realize someone is standing behind you.

Slowly, Fyodor Dostoyevsky leans down, breath ghosting across your ear.

His fingers brush lightly down your spine.

Fyodor (soft, almost amused): “Let us test your composure.”

You jolt upright.

Your chair tips over.

The stream disconnects.

You spin around.

You: “YOU’RE A DEMON.”

Fyodor calmly straightens his sleeves.

Fyodor: “Balance must be maintained.”

2. Chuuya Nakahara

Role in Bed: Dom, but respectful — he thrives on giving and receiving enthusiasm.

Style: Passionate, intense, likes closeness. Wants to feel your hands in his hair and your breath on his neck. He’s not all about control — more about making sure both of you are completely lost in the moment.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Light BDSM, dominance play, power struggles. Likes pinning you or being pinned if you can overpower him (which is rare, but turns him on).

Energy: A "complete beast" when things heat up, but also surprisingly romantic — candlelight and slow jazz aren’t off the table.

Quote: "You’re not walking away from me until I’m done with you."

3. Atsushi Nakajima (age 19)

Role in Bed: Sub-leaning switch. Wants to please, but with the right partner, he can be surprisingly assertive.

Style: Sweet, caring, and shy at first — needs reassurance. Once comfortable, he’s more adventurous.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Light teasing, praise, and scenarios that let him feel more confident (hero saving damsel, bodyguard, etc.).

Energy: Mostly slow and sensual, but can surprise you when adrenaline kicks in. He loves deep eye contact because it reassures him.

Quote: "I… want to try it your way this time."

4. Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Role in Bed: Dom, but can switch in very specific situations.

Style: Intense, controlled, and almost predatory — he takes things seriously and doesn’t like messing around mid-moment.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Power control, authority-based scenarios, maybe some binding. Likes having the upper hand but secretly enjoys it if you can turn the tables.

Energy: He’s not romantic per se, but he’s deeply attentive — wants to see the effect he has on you.

Quote: "Don’t tell me to slow down — you started this."

5. Ranpo Edogawa

Role in Bed: Switch with brat tendencies. Loves to test boundaries.

Style: Playful, cocky, likes to keep things lighthearted, but gets surprisingly intense if his partner pushes the right buttons.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Loves roleplay — thief/detective, rival masterminds, “you owe me a favor” scenarios.

Energy: Can go slow and sensual or fast and competitive, depending on the mood. Enjoys seeing how flustered he can make you.

Quote: "Looks like I’ve solved the case — you’re mine."

6. Edgar Allan Poe

Role in Bed: Sub-leaning switch, thrives in more romantic setups.

Style: Slow, poetic, and emotional. He turns intimacy into an art form. Likes to make everything beautiful and meaningful.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Historical/fantasy scenarios, dramatic romance, possibly light blindfolds (trust-based).

Energy: All about slow build-up — soft touches, whispered words, and long gazes.

Quote: "Your beauty could bring nations to their knees… and me as well."

7. Nikolai Gogol

Role in Bed: Pure chaotic switch — the unpredictable wildcard.

Style: Flirty, teasing, and fast-paced one second, then slow and unsettlingly intense the next. He treats intimacy like an elaborate game.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Anything theatrical — masks, costumes, playful threats. Enjoys being tied up as much as tying you up.

Energy: Always high-energy, a mix of thrill-seeking and dramatic flair.

Quote: "Oh, darling, you don’t even know what you’ve gotten yourself into~"

8. Sigma

Role in Bed: Sub, but willing to try switching if his partner wants.

Style: Soft, careful, and shy — needs to feel safe and guided at first. Once comfortable, he’s surprisingly passionate.

Kinks & Roleplay Vibes: Praise, reassurance, “first time” scenarios, romantic settings. Blindfolds intrigue him but make him nervous.

Energy: Mostly gentle and emotional, but he can get caught up in the heat of the moment.

Dazai

It was late. The dim glow of streetlamps painted his face in half-shadows as he walked you home. He chuckled idly, hands stuffed in his pockets. “You know… people call me a monster. The kind of man you should never be caught alone with in the dark.” His voice softened, almost testing. “Are you not scared right now?”

You glanced at him, smile warm. “No. You make me feel safe, Dazai. Like nothing could touch me when you’re around.”

For once, he stopped in his tracks. His smirk faltered, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. Then, slowly, the smallest genuine smile tugged at his lips — softer, quieter than any of his masks. He tilted his head, voice a whisper. “…Safe, huh? Guess I’ll have to keep proving you right, belladonna.”

Jouno

The night was quiet except for your footsteps echoing alongside his. Jouno’s head tilted slightly, his blindfold catching the moonlight. His tone was smooth, but there was a weight beneath it. “You know I’ve done things most people can’t stomach. People fear me without even seeing my face. Aren’t you afraid, right now, walking alone with me?”

You smiled softly, brushing your hand against his sleeve. “Not at all. You make me feel safe, Jouno. I know you’d never let anything hurt me.”

For a moment, he went utterly still. His sharp hearing picked up the truth in your heartbeat — steady, calm, not lying. Something warm unfurled in his chest, unfamiliar and disarming. His lips curved into a rare, genuine smile. “…You’re either fearless or you trust me too much. Either way… I’ll make sure you never regret it.”

Tecchou

You were walking beside him after a long day, the moon high above. Tecchou looked down at you suddenly, his brows furrowed, as if something had been gnawing at him. “People tell me I look intimidating. Dangerous. Do you ever feel scared, being with me like this?”

You shook your head without hesitation. “No. I feel safe when I’m with you, Tecchou. Like I don’t have to worry about anything.”

His eyes widened slightly, caught off guard. Then, slowly, the corners of his mouth curved into the most earnest smile. He nodded firmly, determination lighting his gaze. “Good. Then I’ll make sure you always feel that way.” His large hand brushed yours, tentative but steady — a quiet promise.

Fukuzawa

The room was hushed, his tea cooling between his hands. He rarely spoke of his past, but tonight his voice was low, heavy. “Once, long ago, people feared me. Even now, there are those who remember and stay away. To be alone with me… it should unsettle you.”

You reached across the table, gently covering his hand with yours. “You don’t unsettle me, Fukuzawa-san. You make me feel safe. Always.”

🥖 Chuuya Nakahara – The Fine-Dining Snob (but secretly loves greasy ramen)

Restaurant Type: Classy brasseries, wine-and-dine places, or cozy European-style cafés.

Order Style: Starter, main, dessert and wine pairing.

Food Snobbery Level: 10/10, until he’s drunk and ordering takoyaki from a food truck.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Prefers eating out, but can cook shockingly well. He’s got knife skills and taste.

Fave Order: Steak, pasta, seafood—anything rich and elegant.

🍱 Atsushi Nakajima – The Budget Sweetheart

Restaurant Type: Family diners or simple Japanese teishoku restaurants.

Order Style: One set meal. Tries not to overspend.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Prefers home-cooked meals but isn’t great at it. Accepts leftovers like a golden retriever.

Fave Order: Chicken katsu with rice and miso soup. Occasionally gets soft serve as a treat.

🥗 Kunikida Doppo – Meal Prep Overlord

Restaurant Type: "Wholesome dining" spots with calorie counts on the menu.

Order Style: Tracks macros. Won’t touch the dessert menu unless guilt-tripped.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Meal preps at home. You’d have to drag him outside to eat.

Fave Order: Grilled fish, brown rice, miso soup. Anything that aligns with “The Ideal Nutrition Plan™.”

🍔 Ranpo Edogawa – Sugar Gremlin Supreme

Restaurant Type: Cafés and fast food joints.

Order Style: 3 cakes, 2 sodas, and a side of fries.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Uber Eats god #1. Cannot cook. Thinks boiling water is “advanced.”

Fave Order: Strawberry parfaits, pancakes, doughnuts. Probably thinks salad is a myth.

🧁 Yosano Akiko – Secretly Elegant But Practical

Restaurant Type: Trendy places with well-curated menus.

Order Style: Main course and wine. If dessert looks pretty, she’ll go for it.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Enjoys dining out, but can cook well. Keeps her kitchen like an operating room—immaculate.

Fave Order: Lamb chops, risotto, or miso-marinated black cod.

🥦 Kenji Miyazawa – Countryside Simple

Restaurant Type: Anywhere with big portions.

Order Style: “Can I have seconds?”

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Prefers home-cooked food. Will happily cook for others too.

Fave Order: Rice, pickles, meat, vegetables—he’s not picky but he is a vacuum. Loves beef bowls.

🫖 Fukuzawa Yukichi – Stoic Traditionalist

Restaurant Type: Quiet, refined, traditional kaiseki or soba shops.

Order Style: Simple, seasonal, elegant.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Dines out rarely. Enjoys a proper tea and meal. Can cook but doesn’t bother often.

Fave Order: Cold soba with mountain vegetables and green tea.

📖 Edgar Allan Poe – The Anxious Café Lurker

Restaurant Type: Quiet, book-filled cafés with a back corner to hide in.

Order Style: Takes 15 minutes to decide, then whispers his order so quietly the staff has to lean in four times. Too anxious to speak clearly, ends up with the wrong drink. Never corrects them

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Avoid eating out unless you are there. Orders delivery like it’s a covert mission, asks them to leave it at the door, and then runs out to grab it like a raccoon when they leave.

Fave Order: Black coffee (which he does not like, but thinks he’s supposed to), tea, buttered croissants and maybe a ham sandwich (but only if someone reminds him to eat).

Bonus: If a place has a cat, he becomes a regular.

🫧 Sigma – Emotionally Exhausted Pastry Guy

Restaurant Type: Hotel restaurants and high-end dining due to his work, but secretly craves fast food.

Order Style: Formal in public, reading the menu like it’s a business deal—but behind closed doors, he’s devouring fries with existential guilt.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Always orders food; doesn’t know how to cook beyond boiling water.

Fave Order: Truffle pasta when dining out. Cheeseburger and strawberry milkshake when he thinks no one’s looking. He’s shy about it, but has a massive sweet tooth.

🎪 Nikolai Gogol – Chaos Eating in Human Form

Restaurant Type: Will crash any restaurant for the drama. Michelin star or street vendor? Doesn’t matter. He’ll appear. Type of person who visits bizarre-themed cafés, maid cafés, etc.

Order Style: “What’s your most unhinged dish?” Orders something just to juggle it. Might try to eat dessert first… with chopsticks.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Cannot cook. Should not be near a stove. If he delivers food, it’s usually stolen.

Fave Order: Piroshki, Rainbow crepes, 3-layer burgers, suspiciously glowing jelly.

Bonus: Once pulled a disappearing act mid-meal and returned with someone else’s food “because it looked better.

🧔‍♂️ Oda Sakunosuke – The Calm Cook

Restaurant Type: Prefers small, cozy family-run restaurants with good miso soup and no loud music.

Order Style: Simple, deliberate, always polite. Takes his time. Orders what he can finish. Doesn’t waste.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Excellent cook. Prefers home meals. Cooks for kids, for OC, for anyone. Probably the best cook on this list.

Fave Order: Nikujaga (meat & potatoes), Curry Rice, Grilled mackerel, miso soup. Occasional coffee shop for novels and solitude.

☦️ Fyodor Dostoyevsky – Famine Chic

Restaurant Type: Only eats out when absolutely necessary. Chooses obscure cafés with barely any customers and a priest at the counter.

Order Style: Drinks black coffee like it’s penance. Orders food with that villainous soft-spoken tone. Eats slowly. Never finishes the full plate.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Has people for that. If alone, subsists on bread, wine, and intellect. Doesn’t eat very much. Lives off black coffee and mysterious tiny snacks.

Fave Order: Something poetic and bitter, like espresso with no sugar, or black bread. Claims he doesn’t like sweets. (Honestly, I have no idea).

⚔️ Akutagawa Ryunosuke – Starved Intensity

Restaurant Type: Would starve before walking into a fast food place. Only eats at places with quiet booths and no other people.

Order Style: Doesn’t know how to order. Stares at the menu for two minutes, then says “this.” Eats like it’s war.

Delivery vs. Dine-Out vs. Cook: Doesn’t know how to cook. Eats to survive. Takes whatever Gin makes. Hates being seen eating in public.

🤎Dazai Osamu

He’s lounging, phone lazily perched between his shoulder and ear, smirking like he’s in control of the situation. Until you walk by and deliberately pick something imaginary off his head, brushing your fingers through his hair—slowly, deliberately, just enough to distract.

Dazai (into phone, stammering just once):

“Mmm… what do you mean a mole in the—uh… right, no, I’m completely focused~”

You give him a wink and saunter past like you’ve done nothing wrong.

Dazai (hanging up):

“Now, was that sabotage or flirting? Because either way… I’m impressed.”

🩵Atsushi Nakajima

Poor boy is mid-report to Kunikida. You slip a hand onto his knee under the table, and he nearly jumps. You lean in and whisper, “You look so serious when you're working,” then press a soft kiss to the side of his head just as the call connects.

Atsushi (panicking):

“T-This is Atsushi, reporting in, um—Mission status is—uh—!”

Kunikida (on the other end):

“Why does it sound like you’re being mauled by affection?!”

💛Kunikida Doppo

He’s trying to maintain his sacred schedule. Trying. But then you brush your fingers down the side of his jaw, "fixing" his collar like it ever needed fixing. You give him a sultry little smirk just as he answers the phone.

Kunikida (stoic, then wavering):

“Yes. I’ve reviewed the data… I—no, I am not… distracted.”

Kunikida (after hanging up. sternly, adjusting his tie with a sigh):

“You exist solely to test my patience, don’t you?”

You:

“And you love it.”

💚Ranpo Edogawa

He’s pretending not to care. Call from Fukuzawa? Whatever. But when you straddle the back of his chair and absentmindedly twirl a lock of his hair around your finger while he's mid-sentence?

Ranpo (casual, but voice cracking slightly):

“Yeah, I figured out the culprit three minutes ago—mm, hey, stop that, I’m on the—! …Yeah, boss, nothing’s wrong.”

You lean down and whisper, “You sure you’re the great detective when I can read you like this?”

Ranpo (grinning):

“You're lucky I like you more than candy.”

❤️Oda Sakunosuke

He’s calm. Quiet. Speaking in low, gravelly tones on the phone while staring out the window with that thoughtful gaze.

You, however, decide now is the perfect time to slide off your shoes and slowly—slowly—run your foot up his leg.

You don’t break eye contact.

Oda pauses mid-sentence. He looks down, then back up at you. You arch a brow, innocent as ever.

Oda (on the phone, strained but composed):

“Yes. I’ve gathered the information on the targets. No delays expected—”

Your foot reaches his thigh.

Oda:

“—except maybe one.”

He hangs up, sets the phone aside, and looks at you like you’re both a problem and the solution.

Oda (quietly):

“...You like playing with fire.”

You (smirking):

“And you’re terrible at pretending not to burn.”

💜Fyodor Dostoyevsky

You’re trying every subtle move in your book—brushing your fingers over his knuckles, tucking a hair behind his ear so slowly it borders on scandalous, even tracing a finger down his spine while he’s mid-call, voice smooth as sin.

Fyodor (completely unfazed):

“Yes. Proceed with phase two. No, she’s not a distraction. She thinks she is.”

Your hand freezes.

He smirks—just faintly—and his eyes flick toward you with that dangerous gleam.

Fyodor (without looking at you):

“You’ll need to try harder.”

You lean close and whisper, “Game on, Rasputin.”

🤍Nikolai Gogol

He’s mid-conversation with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be on the phone with him. One leg over the armrest, twirling his hair like a lunatic—standard Nikolai behavior.

You creep up behind him and give his long rat tail braid a sudden, sharp yank.

He gasps.

Nikolai (on the phone, voice faltering):

“Ah—! I mean, yes, continue! Continue with the plan—mmnh—don’t stop!”

There’s a beat of confused silence from the other end.

Caller:

“…Are you being tortured right now?”

You’re doubled over laughing. He turns to you, flushed and wide-eyed—then breaks into a chaotic grin.

Nikolai:

“You minx! Do it again.”

🩷Sigma

He’s taking a rare high-pressure call, fingers tapping the table in anxious rhythm.

You slide beside him, tuck a strand of his silver hair behind his ear, letting your finger brush just a bit too long on his cheek. He turns slightly pink, but tries his hardest to maintain composure.

Then you blow him a kiss.

He chokes.

Sigma (panicking):

“S-Sorry—uh—one moment please—!”

He mutes the call and glares at you.

Sigma:

“Why are you like this?”

You:

“To test your limits.”

💙Poe

He’s mid-ramble to Ranpo on the phone when you stroll by, pluck a speck of dust off his shoulder like it’s a secret love confession, and kiss the air in front of him.

Poe (startled):

“Y-Yes, Ranpo-kun, I’ve deduced that—um—there’s a very significant—presence—”

He fumbles and nearly drops the phone. Karl squeaks in protest on his shoulder.

Ranpo (through the phone, dry):