I would like for you to imagine me and my mom on this bus trip, okay? We're on the bus back from Cape May. We've got another like, two hours to go? But we're not sleeping. So I explain to her the plot of Give Up Forever, what I'd like to have happen and asked her for tips to get there. So we're talking about my little gay vampire boyfriend situation, right?
And it's mostly people over sixty (nothing wrong with that, just giving you a demographic). Like, not all of the people but I think a good portion of them.
From behind us, this little old lady sitting with her husband is getting annoyed and I start laughing. My mom is like "what's going on" and I tell her not to worry about it and I just keep talking, almost whispering, to my mom about my story.
I hear the little old lady say, very loudly, "JUST STOP TALKING! STOP TALKING!!"
No one listens to her. Everyone on the bus is involved in conversation. But the funny thing is my mom and I are in front of her talking about gay vampires, and what my mom can't hear is the woman seated behind the little old lady talking really loudly about serial killers, Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers. (Little Old Lady does not know that the two older women in front of me are talking about Chucky.) That's what I was laughing about when my mom asked me because I'd clocked what the women in the back were talking about and it occurred to me there was one normal old woman on this bus of people who were more than a little fucked up.
My Mom, this morning: It was like I was telling your brother, I don't hate the John Wick movies, they're just not my thing-
Me: Oh, is that how you feel about The Lost Boys?
My Mom: No. I HATE The Lost Boys.
