what, no applause?!

Everyone is bloomscrolling in my beautiful internet garden

you can’t talk about vampires and their views on menstrual blood anywhere else besides here. On account of the stigma

stigma fangs in your pussy. LOL

these hips don't lie, and those hips don't tell the truth. how do you navigate out of this labyrinth

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

four line sentences are good and okay. its cool. you dont need to end your setnence or that thought! add another comma or an em dash. everything will be okay. it makes sense and flows well. #awesome #mybehemothsentence

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

the author’s thinly veiled nothing #notwriting #straightupnotwritingit

To be honest dude I think you need to focus on slaying the beast first and after that’s done commit to job hunting. Like I do think committing time and energy to putting slaying the beast at the top of your priorities will help you in the long and short run

i do not want to live in the fucking panopticon fuck the camera that blinks above me at work, the tv watching me at the store, the "smile you're on camera" signs, the ring cameras, the flock cameras, the apps to track your child or partner, the activist friends telling me "just assume everything you do in public is being recorded somewhere", the government building protester databases, the teslas recording every move all around them, the knowledge that everything i type or search or save is being tracked and logged, the ads and search suggestions that mysteriously know what i was just talking about, the way biometrics keep creeping into more places, the way my car spies on me, the way my phone spies on me, the way there is nowhere to go to get away from it!!! no wonder the internet is full of vindictive little stalkers and witchhunts when it's the water and the air of society from the culture to the infrastructure

cherry bomb voice Hello tumblr hello blog

I bet gollum gives the driest head imaginable like you'd be all up in his throat feeling like ur sticking your dick in sand paper with dust flying out every time he gags

The majority of replies to this post are telling me to die but my favorite are the ones disagreeing with me cause gollum is described as wet and slimey. So don't worry everybody rest assured that according to the text gollum doesn't cough up dust when he gags he's actually the #1 throat goat with a slimey sloppy ushy gushy thrussy that can take 10 inches like its nothing

it's weird how whenever a neighbor's smoke alarm goes off it's because they're a talentless hack who can't cook, but when mine goes off it's because my culinary craft is being hamstrung by a draconian smoke detector that is far too sensitive for its own good

I like when construction workers spray paint their strange sigils on the pavement

Mafia guy who only goes down on women so he can steal the copper IUD wiring