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@madeofstardust17
my five year plan? read a lot of books. visit museums. walk through woods. stand in a river. adopt a little kitty. drink lemonade while sitting in a rocking chair on my porch.

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not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone
After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.
this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong
✨ wyatt hayes ✨ my beloved ❤️❤️ may your pillow always be cold, your skin clear, your crops plentiful, etc etc etc

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love is stored in the forehead touch
it's April 2027.
black screen. the intro credits start rolling. we hear some grunting.
some moaning. heavy breathing.
"the view is not bad from behind" Ilya says.
"fuck you" Shane answers.
then it cuts to them running.
I keep a Notes app with running fic ideas, most of which I never use but just so I don’t forget them in case I can. (Or shove them at Audrey when she asks for inspo.) I was tickled to look back and find a few that I did use and thought I’d share a screenshot here in case anyone was curious what my notes look like.
oh I liked both of those fics, good job 2023 me
locked in? no. i'm tucked in. goodnight
I have been hit with the most terrible curse and so I am going to pass it along like a Ring video and hope I don't die from it. ✧:・゚✧*:・゚NOT ENTIRELY TERRIBLE ALEXEI ROZANOV:・゚✧*:・゚✧ Is he still an asshole? Yes. Does he contain nuance and multitudes and even if they hurt each other he still loves his brother? Unfortunately, also yes. Goddammit. This is ruining me for other fic! How am I supposed to read the less fun versions now??? First "Duty of Care" ruined Sasha for me by making him fun while still an asshole and now fic is doing it with fucking Alexei??? What have I ever done to deserve this punishment?
Sinking While Swimming by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle, ilya/shane & hayden & alexei & svetlana & troy, nsfw, suicidal ideation/themes, 28.2k “Maybe you don't have to-” “Uh-uh. No backtracking now.” Hayden pointed a finger at him. “If you tell Shane, fantastic. Would love that, quite frankly, but until you do, I want those goddamn pictures, Rozanov. Am I clear?” Ilya wanted to make some quip about Pike trying to get a different kind of picture out of him, but given the circumstances… He just nodded. “Good. My kids tragically love the fuck out of you, so figure this out.” Ilya nodded again. “Alright then.” (PLEASE READ THIS ONE, it's Get Loved, Idiot dialed up to eleven, with incredible banter, the most iconic Svetlana appearance I've ever read, fucking Alexei being written with nuance, gremlin energy from the entire cast, genuinely touching emotional beats, and literally everyone in the fic ganging up on Ilya to aggressively care for him with baseball bats. Also incredible Shane characterization, to go along with the incredible Ilya characterization, it'll ruin you and you'll thank the fic for it.)
Taken by Evilharlowe, ilya/shane & hayden & david/yuna & rose & alexei, 7.3k Four months after their wedding, Shane Hollander and Hayden Pike are kidnapped by disillusioned fans who see Shane's coming out and departure from the Voyageurs as the ultimate betrayal. With the police off-limits and a ten million dollar ransom on the clock, Ilya makes the last phone call he ever expected to make — to the estranged brother in Moscow he hasn't spoken to in three years. What follows is a night of unlikely alliances, hockey sticks used as weapons, and the discovery that family isn't defined by blood but by who shows up when everything falls apart. (Shane gets to be incredibly competent, everyone loves both him and Ilya, the emotional beats are lovely, and Alexei and Ilya are still brothers after everything.)
I NEED PEOPLE TO SUFFER WITH ME.

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Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.
i know in my heart that shane is the most obnoxious sick person of all time
not because he's a baby a la classic man cold
but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick
he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself
he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him
not happening
as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult
his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing
the majority of the struggle when shane is sick is just making him ADMIT he is sick
Tags via @penandinkprincess
also CACKLING about the way this looks on the outside.
like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."
and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"
WHICH IS NOT HELPING EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND THE MOTHERFUCKING GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION, SHANE, NO MORE CONTRIBUTIONS AT THIS TIME FROM YOU, THANK YOU
@nirby-wirby
the idea that ilya was trying to be loving and let shane come to his own conclusions that he was sick and give in to being cared for because they're still early in their marriage and he thinks that's still possible
only for The Appendixing to happen and shane in the aftermath losing his faking it privileges as a result because APPARENTLY his shifty ass will just "no thank you" his own body THROUGH A FUCKING! MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!
@dragoonthegreat
CACKLING
i also feel like part of the problem is that he IS so good. yeah his fever is 102 and he can't really see straight and gravity is applying to him unevenly, but he is still making goals. would that goal have happened if he was at home?? GUESS WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO KNOW.
the idea of the team thinking they can rat him out to ilya (at home on temporary injury reserve) being SO darkly funny to ilya. he WISHES he had the authority to just make shane admit he's sick and rest. you would think someone obsessed with their health in every other way would take illness seriously enough to rest when he needs to.
AND FUCKING YET.
i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me
skipdivorce is fun to me bc I have no stake in scott and kip as characters. if shane and ilya got divorced I would kill myself
#notcrying

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shane gets whiplash mid game when he gets checked into the boards. he finishes his shift and ignores the pain in favour of planning out how to win against boston with how everyone’s playing (as per usual)
by third period, shane has a killer headache and is insanely dizzy. but there’s only fifteen minutes left of play; he can tough it out!
cut to shane rushing off the ice, very visibly swallowing down the bile that rises in his throat, and then faints mid-conversation with the medic on the bench. game is paused so shane can be safely brought to an examination room to be evaluated.
post-game interviews, ilya is being asked about their win and whether or not it was because hollander was out of play for practically an entire period. he comes extremely close to screaming at the media room and storming to the visitors’ medical facility to check on shane himself. (he was also asked if his team purposely put shane out, if it’s an injury caused during the game)
(back in the locker room, with an unusually silent team after a win, ilya slammed his locker closed so hard it probably dented the door)