my five year plan? read a lot of books. visit museums. walk through woods. stand in a river. adopt a little kitty. drink lemonade while sitting in a rocking chair on my porch.
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@madeofstardust17
my five year plan? read a lot of books. visit museums. walk through woods. stand in a river. adopt a little kitty. drink lemonade while sitting in a rocking chair on my porch.

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something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.
inspired on this!🐤
AU about Yuna and David having a late life, brink-of-menopause-reproductive-last-hurrah oopsie baby when Shane is in World Juniors and how the balance of the Hollander family recalibrates to account for both Shane's baby brother and his professional hockey career, leading to a small but measurable amount of pressure to be taken off Shane's psyche by not being the only child but also kinda feeling adrift as so much attention goes to this new child who may be able to Perform Better than Shane (aka not be gay)
in this au this 9 year old is barging into the cottage after riding over on his bike to annoy Shane cuz he missed him on his stupid silent retreat why do you never wanna play w me
I have named him Chase
the media adores pictures of baby-faced Rookie Shane awkwardly holding an actual baby / his mini me when greeting his family after games
Chase adores Shane and seems to love hockey early on but really he's just feeding off the atmosphere, he has no clue what's going on
By the time Yuna and David strap him into skates, Chase is quickly discovering he has no actual interest in understanding what's happening on ice or taking part in it
Shane struggles even more so to relate to his supposed brother but also somewhat relieved that he doesn't have to worry about this kid coming up behind him in 15 years to be a better, more perfect hockey player and son, which is a feeling that Shane is very uncomfortable sitting with for long
by age 9, Chase is well and truly over hockey, resenting how much it seems to occupy Yuna and esp Shane
there are failed attempts at brother bonding sleepovers in Montreal when Shane isn't traveling but Chase never lasts the weekend without calling David
Chase likes basketball, it's what his friends play, it's more accessible, he and his friends can pick up and play just about anywhere, anytime
but he doesn't want to play it like Shane plays hockey and chafes at Yuna's attempts to foster his interests in it along those lines bc that's how Yuna shows her love
Chase just wants to goof off w his friends and have fun
He also likes Roblox and Minecraft, Steven Universe and Teen Titans Go, bike riding and his pet guinea pig
he likes so many things and feels like his brother isn't aware of or cares about any of them bc they aren't hockey (even tho Chase thinks his guinea pig and his brother have a lot in common)
Chase is boisterous and loud; he thumbs his nose at the media that cooed at his pudge ball self in Shane's arms, making a spectacle of his boredom and dissatisfaction at Montreal home games
Chase loves Shane but loudly proclaims his favorite hockey player is Ilya Rozanov, bc it's the only thing Chase has ever done that has gotten a big reaction out of his big brother
Chase's existence doesn't impact the trajectory of Hollanov too much because he spends 95% of his time in Ottawa with Yuna and David
2 key splits in the timestream, however:
Shane doesn't officially date Rose because shortly post-Tuna meltdown, Shane comes to terms with being gay more so on his own, having suffered a crisis over Chase being the more perfect "do-over" kid when Chase demonstrates a sincere crush on a girl in his class and come out the other side resigned to the fact that Shane can fulfill the star hockey athlete expectations as his parents' son while Chase (mind you, an 8 year old at this point) can eventually fulfill the heteronormative bring-home-a-nice-girl-and-give-their-parents-grandkids expectations. Rose still clocks Shane bc for all they hang out and the media is speculating, he is obviously not making a move, and Rose let's him know that's okay, offers to hook em up with Miles, etc. etc. Shane and Ilya are already in relationship limbo pre All Stars but All Stars is where Shane tries to hit the brakes on merely falling back into old patterns.
a 9 year old on a bike is much easier to chase down that an SUV. Like, Shane snatches Chase off that bike and Chase (who first felt a flush of boiling rage his tiny body could hardly contain that Shane's stupid silent retreat as an excuse to hang out and be friends with Chase's alleged favorite hockey player Rozanov, quickly followed by wave of shock and awe that his brother is kissing his favorite hockey player, mixed with relief that his brother isn't friends with Rozanov but boyfriends with Rozanov, and finally the gut-sinking realization that he's "in trouble" for what? he's not quite sure before bailing) is all squirmy and near in tears, promising simultaneously that he didn't see anything and that he won't tell. He means it, too. Chase wants to keep this secret for his brother, even if he doesn't completely grasp the gravity of it, because for him it's something they can finally share. Except, Shane realizes he can't ask his primary-school-aged little brother to keep this secret for him. He won't put Chase through that. So he sends him home on his bike while he talks (out a panic attack) with Ilya and they get dressed to drive over to the Hollander cottage down the road, arriving just when Chase has ditched his bike in the yard and is standing in the living room sobbing into David's arms but shaking his head refusing to explain anything as a confused Yuna watches through the window as Ilya Rozanov exits the passenger side of her elder son's JEEP.
Oooooh that post about Shane being poisoned... girl (gender neutral) I was gasping and clutching my pearls in the subway like a crazy person.
I don't remember if you said this or it was a reblog, but the idea of Ruby seeing him in anaphylactic shock...
He tries to bury what happened, he refuses to talk about it with Ilya, even when he can't stop thinking about it, can't stop himself from avoiding Hayden's home like its the plague. In spite of it all, he can't stop seeing Ruby's face, the horror and fear in her expression when she found him on his knees in the kitchen.
The thing is, he's trying to convince himself that it wasn't that big a deal. That they didn't mean to do that to him. They didn't know. He overreacted a little. But here's the thing. Ruby, the little girl he adores, one of the only people who immediately accepted him and Ilya. A little girl who didn't understand what was happening to him. If she looked that scared for him... was it really as bad as it looked? Is he really exaggerating?
When he breaks, because the story comes out, because Ilya pushes enough, bc he comes back for practice after watching someone eat a peanut butter protein bag in the locker room when it has been explicitly forbidden...
Whatever the reason, when he breaks, he tries his best to keep calm, to explain to Ilya just what's going through his head.
He takes a breath, and suddenly finds himself saying,
"I scared Ruby"
And the floodgates open.
GOD i see this and raise you: is bothered by scaring ruby because like. he KNOWS these kiddos. he is uncle shane to these kiddos. but he internalizes it as HE did something scary. HE was scary to ruby. HE made her look like that.
and how fucked! up! that situation was doesn't hit him until CAMP, when they have a kid with a peanut allergy and have to explain to another kid that they can't have the pb&j they brought at lunch because X is really allergic, and peanuts could hurt her, so we have to all be safe to make sure camp stays safe for everyone.
and now shane is faced with. it's that fucking simple. and having to think about like. jesus. what if it was this kid. what if someone fucked with this kid and made that happen and made this child feel like they weren't safe here. that is NOT okay. that is NOT understandable. that is FUCKED UP.
but this realization is also REALLY fucking with his attempts to "anyway moving on-" an entire season of being on edge and not knowing if his own fucking team might or might not on purpose make things not safe for *him.* because it's different. it is different. and his reaction scared ruby, but that's HIS fault. it is. it has to be his fault because then he can control it if it's his fault.
but if it happened to this kid at camp...it wouldn't be...her fault...and he wouldn't put up with someone turning camp into that kind of environment and neither would any other adult here...but how does he...integrate this...with the thing he's still pretending is just nbd besides the fact that *he* scared ruby so bad...

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baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.
Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.
Ok so I read your shallergies fics and first of all: magical, show stopping, stupendous, thank you for your talent.
Second of all!!! In one of your fics you have like an almost throw away line where Hayden mentions he’s had to stop the other Voyageurs/Metros players from fucking with Shane’s food and like. Now my mind is rife with the ✨possibilities✨ of that scenario. Like. One of them adds peanuts or something to something Shane thinks is safe as a prank and Hayden doesn’t catch it and suddenly Shane is in anaphylaxis and everyone is freaking the fuck out. The next time Ilya plays Montreal that one player gets laid the FUCK out for some reason.
combo-ing with @pitrosa just because both of y'all were getting to the same DELICIOUS possibility of a wild amount of angst.
like the idea of someone fucking with shane's food at a party at jackie and hayden's place not because they know shane is allergic but because they're shitty and i 100% buy some bigoted asshole seeing it as a way shane is just trying to be special and other. so they knowingly do something like stir in some peanut butter or mix in some coconut oil. literally just something they see easily available in this one minute window in the kitchen they have when they're just being an asshole.
and even beyond just the nightmare of now shane has a reaction and this is one more thing that the team didn't know about previously and can spin into "so you didn't trust us?" IGNORING WHAT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED HERE, the fact that like. now shane isn't safe eating at events. or even fucking. being at events, tbh. like GOD the isolation of your team is cold to you now and you don't know which one of them fucked with you and you don't know that one or more of them won't do it again to hurt you. and it's not like any of them are going to fess up and own it because bigots are cowards and ALSO (even though shane wouldn't do it, i don't think) this is now like. pressing charges level.
and it's ONE MORE FUCKING THING that shane was afraid of!! and then it happened to him!!! what a fucking HEINOUS contribution to his anxiety getting worse while also feeling so isolated because even if hayden and jackie are equally PISSED and still invite you over when it's just y'all and you KNOW the food is safe. what the fuck are you even supposed to do here?
you are once again the kid alone at the allergy table, and this time it's because everyone else (it feels like) put you there on purpose.
also adding to this is that i know hayden would be fucking LIVID about this and ready to square the FUCK up with an asshole. like it's enough that they fucked with shane, but they also did it in HAYDEN'S house. where he has tried for years to make shane feel comfortable. he invited everyone into his home and they hurt his best friend, who has priority in being here over everyone as far as he's concerned.
and stuff with jj is SO complicated with the ilya of it all, but jj is shane's friend and i don't think?? was bad about him coming out?? (just being with ilya and not telling jj about that??) (if i remember correctly??) so we also have jj now angry on shane's behalf. and yeah, maybe he might be hurt that shane didn't tell him, but your friend having to go to the hospital has a way of kind of lining priorities up.
which means we now have blatant dividing lines down this team of who is falling on which side in a way that maybe wasn't even the case when it was about shane being gay. because this is a tangible and real thing that someone has used to hurt shane *could* use to hurt shane again. (and again! don't know exactly who it was!) and like it is NOT shane's fault. but i 100% see him feeling like it's his fault (and maybe even hearing that it's his fault from other people because well cap isn't keeping the team together now, is he?)
also thinking of the awful moment when Shane realises he's having a reaction and it's a bad one, this is dangerous, and there's people everywhere and he KNOWS Jackie wouldn't be so careless and she knows what to do but he can't see her right now and he doesn't remember if his jacket is on a hanger in the entry or with the pile in one of the guest rooms and okay, wait, there's an epipen in the kitchen because he's here so often, if he gets that he just needs to find Hayden to call an ambulance for him—meanwhile the guys are watching Shane Hollander start wheezing and turning a very alarming colour and his face is swelling up and he's stumbling past people and crashing into furniture and it's genuinely scary, it's actually terrifying, what the fuck? and the Pikes are dropping everything and zeroing in on him because right, they've always been like this, fucking weird, if Hollzy wasn't gay they'd all think he was fucking Jackie, but right now she's holding his face in her hands like he's made of glass and Pike is forcing him to sit on the floor and he's on the phone and looks like he's about to punch a motherfucker and when Jackie climbs into the ambulance with Hollander the house has been deathly silent for five minutes as everyone realises, whether they know what happened or not, that another line has been crossed and there's no going back
GOD shane in the middle of fucking anaphylaxis having to try and think of "gotta get out of sight gotta get out of sight gotta get out of sight" because the vibe with the team is already Fucking Weird, and he sure as HELL isn't going to have THIS happen in front of them.
but like. you can only hide anaphylaxis so fucking much.
so the worst of it happens out of sight with jackie helping shane into one of the guest rooms on the first floor while hayden goes to grab his jacket for him.
and also the double whammy FURY in the aftermath of now someone has hurt hayden's best friend in his home AND scared the hell out of his children because they had to watch uncle shane get so sick and are now upset because he had to leave the house in an ambulance with mommy. and the distribution of labor in that choice was jackie also being pissed and knowing, "either i'm going in this ambulance, or i'm catching a fucking charge today." and hayden being left to try and work out what the fuck just went down here because he's equally furious but at least has some level of knowing all of the guys here, but now he's trying to get updates on shane, calm the kids down and promise them uncle shane is okay and yeah they can maybe visit him later if he feels up to it, and also work out who the fuck decided they wanted to die today.
and with all of this?? like HELL is the person who did it thinking it was just a mean ass prank going to speak up. because this is now "maybe catching a charge for poisoning cap" territory and also a FURIOUS hayden pike is visibly ready to throw hands. time to keep it to yourself and SKEDADDLE.
GOD 100% I think hayden and jackie would be like YEP THAT'S DONE with hosting, but now??? soooo??? where is hosting going to happen?? ain't going to be shane's house.
and now showing up at someone's house when they host is a fucking STATEMENT, especially if it's someone who is especially notably Not Cool with shane.
and the way shane would still be taking the blame for this!! both from the shitty ones on the team and also feeling like it's his fault!! because the team is literally splintering around him and what the FUCK is he supposed to do about it!!
and the growing tension!! certainly doesn't make him feel LESS like someone is going to fuck with him!!
YOU STOP THAT
TWENTY MINUTE TIMEOUT IN THE SANDBOX D:<
god and the EXTREMELY complex feelings shane would have about the rookie in the aftermath.
like NO of course he doesn't want this kid's career nuked because he was stupid and ended up being a patsy for fucking with shane-
-but also. he did do it.
like yeah the kid hero worshipped him in a way that was a little overwhelming but also?? kind of a relief?? when it felt like so much of the team was icing him out?? and yet when it came down to shane or the rest of the team, the rookie sided with the rest of the team to fuck with him. and he didn't KNOW it was serious, but he also didn't know it WASN'T.
and shane being so fucking angry that he knows he's supposed to forgive the kid here, but why does he ALWAYS have to be the one forgiving? why does he just have to take it on the chin and keep going and keep his head up and don't snap and don't not smile when you're supposed to and don't ever let that mask slip, young man, because it won't take much for those cheers to turn to jeers-
and even when he's trying SO FUCKING HARD why does it feel like he's still fucking FAILING.
bruce finding out that jason is still a crybaby 🥹 jason act tough but if you push him a bit more in a personal arguments he'd start spilling fat tears down his cheeks and now you have an armful of sad boy in your arms. bruce forgot this fact every single time they fight.
happy father's day to bruce who needs to navigate through the many many emotions of his kids 😭 this is what you get for adopting a gaggle of children
i knowwwwww in my heart ilya would love taking shanes last name and after they have kids referring to their family unit as hollanders. ilya turning around to the backseat like okey hollanders here is plan. we are going to be in and out of costco in thirty minutes. you may choose ONE item each. if we get separated we meet at optometrist. we will get ice creams on way out as long as everyone is cool and nobody tells dad. hollanders on three.
Shane's heart eyes at Ilya being Ilya + Ilya's heart eyes at Shane being Shane ♡

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shanebug photo album circa '91-93
MY BABY 😭
Forever thinking about “Boston is nice too?” and wanting to throw up about it. Just sitting on the floor of a gym across from the stranger who would be the Shane of his existence like.
I am so far away from home. I am so afraid but I cannot show it. I’m going to be all on my own out there and people are not kind to me. I’ve always been alone, but never this kind of alone before. I don’t really know you, but you seemed kind. And earnest. You would not lie to me. Is it safe? Will I be happy there and safe? Boston is nice too?
Ougghhhhgg. My brave little bug I’mgping to be sick
no but seriously like
yuna was born and raised in montreal. david went to college there. they definitely took shane to metros games at the bell center growing up. he KNOWS montreal, at least a little bit. but ilya? he doesn’t know shit about boston. never been there in his fucking life. he speaks english, sure, but speaking a language and knowing literally anything else about a city, about a country, are such vastly different things.
and here’s this boy, who came to find him and introduce himself to ilya when he had absolutely no obligation to. and he tells him yeah, boston’s great too, and he believes him, because he’ll believe in anything if shane hollander says it.
Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers
'i can't go back to my hotel NOW. to meet my mother. she'll know something's up!'
'say you interviewed a wookie in some kind of quasi-comicon line and wound up having a random hookup.'
...
'what??'
'be serious.'
'i am. lorelai gilmore would be a thousand times less wigged that you hooked up with a rando wookie than her ne'er-do-well former hoodlum almost nephew.'
'she'll never buy it. not in a million years.'
'what? i'm not even good enough to be your hookup wookie?'
'oh my god. bye, jess.'
'bring her back the coffee. she'll buy anything if you're giving her coffee. and it was worth standing in line for.'
'oh shut up.'
@hollanov-cocktail79

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Every time Ilya could find out about Shallergies is fascinating to me, so I'd like to add for science:
The CCM photoshoot. After Shane gets added, CCM inform Ilya that he cannot eat peanuts for at least 24 hours prior to the shoot (since they'll be in each other's faces and they don't want to risk killing the #2 overall pick).
Maybe the stylists gossip or smth, but it all amounts to Ilya knowing about the allergy from the jump and being one of the very few who don't treat him like he's fragile or deserves pity.
oh MAN okay okay: so i feel like they wouldn't be telling someone else's medical information, BUT i 100% feel like yuna puts things like an allergy-free set in shane's rider from the very start, and yeah she has to bring down the hammer sometimes especially when shane is new in his career so people are a little eyeroll about new kid on the scene being picky (it's one of the reasons she's ALWAYS on these sets with shane), but it's just a default of, "hey, craft services cannot have X, X, or X, and approved styling products are X, X, and X. all substitutions must be cleared by his management at least 48 hours in advance."
so ilya gets told as part of this shoot, "hey, we don't allow blah, blah, blah on set for allergy reasons" without saying there's actively a person who is being considered here. and ilya is new! he doesn't really know how all of this works yet no matter how confident he has to act about it, so as far as he knows, this is just how ad sets work. i also cannot remember of it was an ask or a question i got, but i THINK someone also told me that stuff like peanut allergy warnings are not super common in russia but relatively VERY more present in north america, so i also 100% buy ilya being like, "cultural thing, maybe? normal for over here?"
and he and shane are making smalltalk at the side of the rink, and ilya brings up that he organized the shoot, and he's still looking for more stuff to say to keep them talking (because tbh? just a lil nervous about talking to his crush especially after admitting he arranged this and still not sure if shane is vibing back or not and also still working on getting fully comfortable with english), so he brings up, "crazy we cannot even have peanut butter here, yes?" because again: DOESN'T KNOW THIS IS A SPECIFIC REQUEST. STILL THINKING THIS IS PROBABLY JUST A LIABILITY THING FOR AD SETS IN GENERAL OR SOMETHING.
and shane immediately is wondering if he's being made fun of or something?? did someone tell??? is rozanov being shitty about this?? is this a dig? but no. he said "we". he's not assuming it's shane's fault (wouldn't be his fault anyway, but it's how shane thinks about it). and he doesn't know rozanov yet, so he's not going to bust out his medical history when he doesn't have to, especially if he thinks rozanov MIGHT be shitty about it if he's going to bring up the set rules. so he just "yeah, they're pretty strict about it." so now ilya is just internally like 'yeah, so okay. this is how things go. his mom is his manager so she probably knows all the rules and told him. noted.' which tbh? kind of a relief. now he knows something important for this career (ooooh ilya).
so they agree to meet up, but ilya has now been thinking about the forbidden allergies purely the way you will when someone brings something up to you and tells you not to eat it (not even spitefully against the rules, just "man, someone mentioned peanut butter and said not to eat it, and now i REALLY want some peanut butter"), so he does something like get thai food with peanut sauce for dinner, and then obvi he has a mint right before meeting up with shane, but he's trying to act SO cool guy and going through the whole bother of brushing his teeth and using mouthwash would feel like Doing Too Much (jesus christ, teenaged boy with a crush). so his breath doesn't SMELL like peanuts, but he hasn't scrubbed any potential traces clear.
and the hookup with them happens pretty quick from first kiss to finishing, so shane at the end is catching his breath...and catching his breath...a-and catching...his breath. and then realizes that his throat and chest going so tight is a reaction and not just being fresh out of orgasm (and really FUCK his life. he gets the first sexual experience he has ever wanted and now THIS? FUCK his fucking EVERYTHING).
and ilya hasn't seen someone have a reaction before, so he doesn't actually know what's happening at first. is this? a freakout? "hollander, are you ok-" but then shane is scrambling up and tearing through his bag and ilya is just ?? what??? is goign on right now?? and then shane finds his epipen and doesn't want to sit on hotel floor because Gross but manages to wobble back to the bed and use it, and ilya STILL doesn't know?? what the fuck is happening?? but hollander couldn't really breathe right and now he stabbed?? himself?? with something?? and ilya can read context clues enough to understand that this is a medical thing, which is alarming, but also shane in the aftermath of using the epipen is shaking violently because that's just a side effect of it, and he's still catching his breath, but ilya bunches up the comforter to put around him because he thinks maybe he's just shivering??
and shane manages to get his breath back enough to say, "hey, ca-can you ca-call an ambulance?" and ilya is ?! yes but ?! and then shane realizes he's still naked so need to fix THAT first (fuck his FUCKING life), so he starts to get up and ilya (who is tbh a little freaked out right now because still doesn't know what's happening but shane looks Not Okay) just gently pushes him back down and grabs his (ever so helpfully neatly folded) clothes for him and puts them beside him on the bed and also puts his own clothes back on SO fast because obviously that needs to happen Now, and when he gets done, shane still hasn't gotten his shoes on or something because shaking still and also still has fucky blood pressure so getting a head rush leaning over, so ilya ends up helping.
and then ilya calls for him and also just. doesn't feel okay leaving him. their rivalry hasn't set in yet and this is the first time they've done anything so what even is there to hide (nothing obvious is on the bed, and beside a crumpled tissue in the bin, there's no other evidence), and also people already saw them talking during the shoot today so not beyond the realm of possibility that they'd just be doing more of that since they're already in the same hotel. and yuna was leaving the hotel earlier to get a drink with a friend or something who happens to be in town, so shane doesn't want to ruin that for her over a stupid reaction (and also wants to feel like an adult and not have to have his mom come running when she already stayed with him all day because of his allergies when he KNOWS it's noteworthy for someone's mom to be doing this), so when the paramedics ask about if anyone needs to be contacted or if anyone's coming along, he very honestly is like, "no, my mom's busy."
and ilya fully on impulse tells shane, "i can come. if you want." because like. he's already here. he still doesn't FULLY understand what happened here. but shane looks really sick rn and he knows from meeting her in the elevator that yuna was leaving the hotel, and he doesn't know why shane wouldn't just call (maybe she doesn't take her phone when she goes out?), but HE wouldn't want to take an ambulance ride by himself if he felt as bad as hollander looks right now (he almost certainly would end up doing it because who else would there be to come with him, but he wouldn't WANT to). and shane is a little thrown, but yeah, he doesn't know him well but it's not like he has a secret to keep from him at this point and maybe not a bad idea to have someone who can call his mom on his phone if he needs them to because of a secondary response or something.
so ilya ends up going to the hospital with him, and they end up talking because what else is there to do in this four hour observation window. and shane confesses to his allergies and being the reason the set couldn't have allergens on it. and ilya can read people. he can see that shane is bracing himself here. but ilya doesn't actually care. he'll chirp hollander and have fun with him, but he's not actually going to make fun of someone's medical condition, especially when they've ended up in the hospital because of it.
(and because. of him then eating something. that triggered that medical condition. oops.)
and they actually end up getting along during this time they've got 1:1, and of COURSE yuna finds out shane's not in his room because she went by to say goodnight and also hand over a new sponsorship deal someone sent over while she was out and got printed in the business center at the hotel to let shane look at it (prefers papers he can touch instead of reading on a phone), but shane?? didn't answer?? honey, you feeling okay?
and now yuna does end up at the hospital and is surprised at finding rozanov there, but as shane is scrambling, rozanov hops in with an excuse of saying he went up to see if shane wanted to work out together (a wink wink that only shane will understand lmao), but then shane started having a reaction. so now what yuna knows about ilya rozanov is that he was actively trying to hang out with her son and be friendly AND he then helped her child during an allergic reaction and even went with him to the hospital after.
and through the power of yuna, ilya and shane end up exchanging numbers because yuna won't say it but she's always excited when shane ends up making a new friend, so she drops a, "why don't you boys trade numbers? then you can hang out the next time you're in the same place for something."
so now they've started texting WAY earlier than in canon, and to shane's mom at least it's understood they're not really enemies right from the start (with the context of ilya is actually nice to shane in person, she understands that the rivalry is just an nhl narrative, and she understands marketing and spin), so she encourages shane in texting him, and even when they're in the same place (like at all stars), she encourages them meeting up and getting dinner together.
and for shane's part, ilya teases him about it later, but it's not mean or exclusionary. they plan on getting dinner with shane's parents for the first time or something and rozanov hits him with a, "i should order peanuts again and try to kill you, do you think? or is twice just bad manners?" and it's such a relief to have someone who thinks it's something that can just be joked about. rozanov doesn't treat him differently now except for asking shane now and then about stuff just because he's not wanting to kill shane the next time they meet up lol.
so even if it's not public, shane and ilya end up being friends (lol) WAY earlier and also have the space at least in private to be like, "i like you and you like me and there's an understanding between us that lets us hang out together and have it be not a big deal."
GOD this also meaning that rozanov is ilya to yuna and david at a much younger age. and yeah he acts cocky and chirps on the ice, but he's also just a teenager, AND he's a teenager set up to be rivals with their son, but they know from the start in this that that's not actually true. they've had dinner with him before. they check in and ask and get told yeah, shane spoke to him just last week and said yeah he's talked to ilya recently. he was over here...playing video games (lmao).
and they've seen things like them at the edge of an event being dumb teenagers but in a way that's really sweet with ilya trying something and going, "mmm no, they are liars, i think. tastes like poison for hollanders." so they also?? just assume?? that ilya's family also knows they're friends?? and yuna atp has answered questions for ilya before on contracts or brand deals because he doesn't always get translations of things but won't ask because doesn't want to get condescended to, so at a certain point she noticed him frowning at something and looking back and forth between a dictionary on his phone and the paper he was looking at and just pulled a "need some help?" and ilya resisted at first because Pride...but also yes, please.
but then they go up to ilya and his father at this event??? and the vibes are Off??? they know ilya by now so they know he's funny and sociable?? but he is now SILENT?? and glances at his father before he speaks? and uuuuuh that sure is some clues to follow.
and on TOTAL impulse one day, david at dinner or something just so casually observes that the flight back and forth to russia for holidays must be hard. and ilya (who was making fun of shane for not wearing his glasses but also helping him look at the tiny ass allergy warnings on this menu) looks up and SO neutrally goes, "yes, is very long. i don't usually go back. just for summer." because zero chance he's getting into the guilt of feeling relief at having an excuse he knows he shouldn't be using.
but then david AGAIN SO CASUAL is just, "well, if you want a shorter plane ride, you're always welcome to come stay with us."
which is how ilya starts spending holidays with the hollanders and also how ilya and shane face the sexual frustration of being under the same roof for multiple days at a time but also having to be SO sneaky getting in and out of each other's rooms during it lmao.
MAN the idea of ilya ending up getting to go to like. hollander family christmas dinner because they invited him for the holiday break and absolutely weren't going to just leave him at home, and it's so?? nice??? everyone is a little surprised to see him there but shane is a pro now so?? guess he brought someone with him?? yeah i guess that makes sense since his family is all in another country?? and ilya gets to sit down and eat at a family dinner and even if he knows it's not HIS family, it's still nice?? everyone is so nice to him??
and I'm fucking WEEPING imagining the end of the night when everyone is starting to pack up and go home and he hears david say, "okay, wait, where are mine?" because everyone's in a shuffle collecting jackets and leftovers and kids, and then yuna comes up behind ilya and puts a hand on his shoulder in a "gotcha, stay put" mom gesture and calls back, "I've got one of them. where did shane go?"
and it's totally just in passing and kind of a joke, but also?? he is included here?? he gets to be part of this little unit?? 🥺
B R U H
(read more because JESUS this post is getting long)
back around to hilarious: them telling shane's parents about them and having to find out how to navigate the "both of you have seen other people within this time frame what's up with that"
they say they're dating now, and yuna and david are a little surprised but encouraging but also ask how long and mmmm. hm. okay. so...
so they manage to convey the "since the very start, yeah" of it all, but like. yuna and david KNOW about ilya's reputation. they love him dearly but they also know boy was rockstar-style sleeping his way across the nation by all accounts. and also they now know shane was dating rose like. VERY recently.
which means we have, "but, ilya, honey, you were cheating? there were so many-wait, shane? were YOU cheating, too? you even brought rose to dinner!"
which means no matter WHAT other changes there were in this universe, we still get
GOD the idea of ilya in his Mildy A Demon Because Hurting era doing the STUPIDEST revenge of all time and buying and eating peanut butter inside his house for the first time in years on a night shane is in town for a game but doesn't text to come over because FINE. fine. hollander doesn't want to be here anymore, fine. no reason to keep it allergy-free. hollander doesn't come over anymore, and he has a brand new girlfriend who can make her apartment perfectly safe for him. not that she will. it's like she doesn't care at all, but maybe shane likes that. (like TRULY so hurt-rage brain about this.)
and feeling ABSURDLY powerful in a way that feels good finally after weeks of feeling so shitty, ilya buys the stupid peanut butter, takes it home, cracks it open, and eats it with a spoon sitting on his couch because who cares. he can cross-contaminate everything he wants now. it's not like he has to think about it anymore. he's been doing this since he was a teenager but it's fine. over now. no problem.
and he sits on his couch in this dark house knowing that shane is in the same city as him but doesn't want to see him. and he can only eat this at all because it doesn't matter anymore if he and his home are safe for shane.
because shane doesn't want him anymore.
he manages three spoonfuls before he goes back to the kitchen, screws the lid shut, tosses it in the trash, and then takes the trash outside for good measure. getting it completely out of his house. he goes up to his bathroom and brushes his teeth even though he's not going to bed yet. he doesn't think about why he's doing this even when there's no one to kiss tonight who would need him to do this.
and he feels fine about it. really.
he's so fine.
OH MY GOD AND THEY STILL HAVE AN AD CAMPAIGN TOGETHER
they've done more of their own separate work as they've gotten older and cultivated their own brands and publicly pushed the rival element of their friendship, but they still do work together sometimes, mainly for work for BIG companies that can afford to have them both
and this one is for like. tom ford or something. they're wearing suits and looking very Serious Face. and in the past, they would have been catching each other's eyes and making each other laugh, ilya more than shane because shane has perfected the art of getting ilya with a single look over the years because it's funny to make him lose the not laughing competition. they've literally been doing this since 18. they're good at it. and it's fun and easy and there's bts footage of stuff like them arguing over snacks (there's more snacks. they just both wanted this one because it's fun to playfight about it), and for shane especially, it's always felt better having ilya on the same set as him. it makes it way more fun for both of them. ilya has even trusted his mom's necklace around shane's neck during shots where his neck needs to be bare for the picture. there's so much fun and trust between them on these days.
but not on this one.
it's stilted, and they stumble around things the way they haven't since they were 18 fucking years old and brand new to this and to each other. shane doesn't make ilya crack up and break because ilya doesn't even look at him. there are too many things in between them now for it to keep flowing when something so massive has buckled and broken and twisted. it isn't fun. it isn't easy. they eat on either side of the set. they're not playing words with friends on their phones in between set-ups and then playfully verbally abusing each other about their scores. they don't speak. they don't look at each other. they don't split a pack of chips because shane will protest about the macros but also end up taking all of the ones ilya hands him.
for one shot, ilya has to take his necklace off, and shane halfway perks up, ready to at least have this little gesture of trust, this little sign that he and ilya still have an understanding between them, that-
ilya puts it in his pocket.
shane sits back down.
there's angst in it, too, because what a difficult discovery and an extra weight to have to carry at a time that's already so hard, but the idea of shane having had allergies to stuff like peanuts since he was itty bitty (which is rare but possible) does have one element that i think is kind of funny just imagining yuna's frustration of having been SO fucking careful with what she ate so her breast milk would be safe and then shane got to the "oh, imma GRAB IT" stage of babyhood, and now she's gotta watch out for both what she's eating and what she's even standing near while holding shane
like truly just imagining her being SO frustrated that she is so carefully reading labels and double checking things and limiting her diet so much to make sure she doesn't accidentally poison her baby
and then THIS LITTLE MONSTER has a sixth sense for Deadly To Baby Shanes food and RIDICULOUSLY fast little hands
yuna who hasn't even looked at a peanut for months now wrestling her baby for custody of a peanut butter cookie he snatched off of SOMEONE ELSE'S PLATE as they were standing close by at this party
like it's alarming and exhausting for david, too, but i feel like yuna actively changing her diet because she is shane's primary food supply rn and figuring out what's safe and what's not only to have this little chonky agent of chaos trying to fling himself from this mortal coil constantly would be something she would never let him forget
and tbh? fair