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@mademoizilla
Wicca blog
Reading this right now <3

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CHEESY CHICKPEA, QUINOA & BROCCOLI CASSEROLE (VEGAN & GLUTEN-FREE)
Red Pepper Cashew Pasta
Huge 750 years old sequoia tree, California. Photo: Michael Nick Nichols
incredible. these trees are so so amazing.
There is always a time for peace. There is not always a time for positivity. Sometimes, we should be angry. We should be angry in the face of injustice. We should be angry in the face of discriminaā¦

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breathe
rewriting the script
eating disorder: There are good foods and bad foods.
me: food is just food. leave morality out of it.
eating disorder: If you eat ice cream in front of other people, they'll lose all respect for you.
me: the people around me aren't so shallow that they judge people on how they eat and what they weigh. but if they do? screw em. they're wrong.
eating disorder: Better watch Netflix while you eat that chocolate, or you'll have to listen to me yelling at you.
me: nope. go home. my whole attention is yours, you delicious almond sea salt dark chocolate bar.
eating disorder: If you don't diet, at least eat clean.
me: no.
eating disorder: You'd better eat that whole bag of chips right now because I'm throwing it away as soon as you stop.
me: you know what? no. i'm full. in an hour if i want more, i'm getting more. if i want to eat chips for breakfast tomorrow, i will. you're not in charge here.
eating disorder: while you exercise, envision your thighs shrinking.
me: moving my body is about how i feel, not about how i look. exercising doesn't necessarily make people skinny, but it does make them healthier, and that's what i want to be.
eating disorder: When you're thin, you'll be more outgoing and charming and witty and everyone will love you.
me: first of all, there's nothing wrong with my wonderful quiet and awkward self. second of all, you're the one keeping me small, not food. third of all, i don't need everyone to love me to prove i'm valuable, that would be exhausting and pointless. i'm already valuable, and i'm already loved. that's enough for me.
Eating well is a form of self-respect.

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Wake up, youāre beautiful.
Mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is.
Recovery Goals
I was inspired on Twitter byĀ @RecoveryFreedom to start thinking aboutĀ āgoalsā I have for recovery. To me, some are more easily obtainable than others while others are repeat actions. I want to keep adding and utilize these to motivate me when I get stuck!
Go to a restaurant and do not look up the menu before I go.
Let someone else decide where to eat (not as indecisiveness, but as a way to not pre-plan.
Order something based on taste, notĀ āhealthā orĀ ācaloriesā
Have a bulk snack in my house and not binge on it
Do not hesitate at accepting a bite from someone elseās meal
Show gratitude towards food, being able to digest it, etc.
Get the next step up from an order (chai latte instead of sugar free, etc)
Inspire someone
Work a program for six months
Sub in other foods when getting stuck on the same foods (apple for pear, etc)
Go to Taco Bell after drinking (too funny, my boyfriend always wants this and I used to b/p after doing so)
Donāt follow a ādietā orĀ ālifestyle choiceā
Reach out to support system when struggling
Eat out for lunch at work instead of pre-packing
Saying yes to unknown social event
Reduce anxiety around social events
Eat ice cream without binging
Have ice cream in the house without binging
Eat a brownie
Eat a cookie (or two or three if you want!)
Find a gym activity you like so that it isnāt just work.
Find and maintain my natural body shape/size/weight
Mentor others in ED recovery
Educate others with my experience
Develop my relationship with my higher purpose
Make decisions not based on calories/ingredients
Make a quicker decision and leave behind the anxiety
Work towards keeping our new house ED-free
Work towards having personal trust
Find community service/group outreach
Donāt look at a label when shopping
Donāt compare calories between products
Push my boundaries and comfort level
When questioning or getting anxious, just GO FOR IT.
Eat something sweet every day.
Give thanks and gratitude daily
Say ānoā more often or voice reservations
Not have my significant other worried when i go to the bathroom after eating
Not have my friends/family worried when I go to the bathroom after eating
Go to a buffet and not binge
Not think about calories when at the gym
Not be defined by my weight or have my weight derail me
Stay off the scale
#diet mindset versus #antidiet #edrecovery
Iām slowly realizing that intuitive eating is NOT a diet. If Iām feeling guilty for ābreaking the rules,ā that means Iām thinking about it the wrong way.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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