MadameFrivole

Turkey is burning

Pray for Turkey

Helicopters, drones, planes and thousands of firemen are currently trying to control fires in 10 different locations in southern Turkey. So far, three people have died, hundreds of animals have perished and several settlements are being evacuated.

Big fires have been breaking out in Turkey since the last few days. Houses, villages and farms are burning. Our country's vehicles are not enough, people are losing their homes and their lifes. Trees and a lot of places burned in Antalya's Manavgat district yesterday, the fire continues, the support is not so much and this continues. Helicopters, drones, planes and thousands of firemen are currently trying to control fires in 10 different locations in southern Turkey. So far, three people have died, hundreds of animals have perished and several settlements are being evacuated. I want to all of my foreign Swiftie followers share. We need help. Thank you.

THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING IN TURKEY

Turkey is not burning, Turkey is being burned! it is not necessary to have a high intelligence to understand that it is an arson. the fire still continues at more than 58 points in 17 different cities and and nothing done so far is enough.

houses located in areas that could be impacted by the fire have been evacuated. several homes, offices, farms, agricultural fields, greenhouses, and vehicles have been damaged by fire.

we need our voices to be heard.

so many cities, forests & houses have been set on fire for two days now. people & animals are dying so please help spread the word & let the whole world knows what’s happening in Turkey! #PrayforTurkey

Like the average adult needs about 8 hours of sleep every night, so that cuts your 24 hours to 16 right off the bat.

You’re working for 8 hours, so 8 left.

But you actually work 8 to 5 at most offices, not 9 to 5, and that lunch is basically just long enough to retrieve food and eat. 7.

It took you 20 minutes to shower this morning, 10 to get dressed, and 45 to make a bowl of oatmeal and eat it. We’ll say 15 to get your stuff together and out to your car. 5 and a half.

You get home and have to cook dinner, 30 minutes min for that, probably more like an hour, so somewhere between 5 and 4.5 hrs left. And then you’ve got to eat it, 30 minutes if you’re being healthy about it.

So at best you’ve MAYBE got 4/4.5 hours left every week day and that’s assuming you ran exactly zero errands, didn’t stop by the gym after work, didn’t have to stay late, have a wicked fast transition time between tasks AND a commute of like 5 minutes by car. If you have to go to the store after a quick run at the gym, pick your kids up from soccer across town, and you factor in a 30 minute commute both ways, you’ve got enough free time for like one episode of show Monday through Friday. And weekends have got to be for cleaning the house and going to visit your mom for a few hours.

When do you write, or paint, or read or sew or go on hikes? When do you go on spur of the moment adventures with your wife and try to perfect your grandma’s soda bread? What happens when it rains on Saturday after being sunny all the rest of the week so you can’t go to the zoo that day and you don’t have enough money for the museum? Why are we all just content to postpone our whole lives, put off “happy” and “healthy” for a miniscule amount of extra value we’re producing for someone else?

And it’s also a thing that fascinates me about hustle culture like. When do y'all rest? When do sleep and food happen? How do you make 3 different jobs work without dying?

The Magpie, 1869, Claude Monet

Medium: oil,canvas

While I may not always like it in the moment, I will confess that I find orgasm denial and ruined orgasms really hot. For this reason, I read a fair amount of content about denial (yes, making myself cum to ideas of not being allowed to cum). But this is one area where fantasy and reality can clash hard. So while I recognize that every woman* responds a bit differently, I want to share a few misconceptions I’ve seen. 

Denial does not have a linear effect on desire. Denying me for longer isn’t going to make me get even hornier. In fact, sometimes it can even decrease sex drive. For me, I’ve learned I can go about a week of edging and denial before my sexual desire starts to decline. Then it tanks pretty quickly. If your goal is to deny a woman until she’s crazy with lust, make sure you check in periodically to see how she’s feeling. 

Denial can make it hard to have an orgasm when it’s time for one. There’s a lot of mental conditioning that goes into denial, especially denial during sex. I can get myself into a place where I just know I won’t cum. If I know (or suspect) that I’ll be denied, I find it nearly impossible to cum. I’ve also seen women struggle to have an orgasm without permission at the end of a D/s relationship. This conditioning can be powerful, and it can be hard to undo. So basically, if I’m being denied for an extended period of time, I am not on the edge constantly. Because my body has built a brick wall between me and the edge. 

Denied women are not wet all the time by default. This one likely differs a lot by woman. But I read all these posts about how she was denied so long that she started constantly dripping. Like a faucet. Down her leg. And listen, maybe it works this way for some women. But most women have jobs and friends and pets and kids and lives. And they are not in a state of arousal all the time, even when edging a lot. There are in-between times where their vaginas are just, like, a normal state of wetness. So don’t assume you need to increase the intensity if she’s not in a puddle all the time.

Sometimes it can make you really fucking depressed. I always tell people with mood disorders to be really careful with kink activities that mess with brain chemicals. This includes impact and other endorphin-giving activities, but it also includes long-term orgasm denial. For me, orgasms are more than just sexual. They are stress relief. They are a dopamine boost. And when your brain isn’t great at the dopamine thing, denial can be tricky. 

Every person responds differently to denial. And it also matters whether it’s denial during masturbation or sex, whether there’s edging involved, how emotionally connected you are, and where you’re at in your menstrual cycle. For me, I find that denial works best intermittently and in the relative short-term (a few days or so). But in any case, denial often doesn’t work the way it looks in erotica (as with most things). It’s often a trial-and-error process to find what triggers the right arousal and feeling of control while maintaining a person’s wellbeing. 

I don’t consider myself a masochist, but pain is an important part of my submission. Sometimes that feels weird to say—that I like pain and need pain, but I’m not a masochist. For me, the difference is that pain is an expression of my submission, not an end in itself. I enjoy the opportunity to give myself to my Dominant in ways that are hard for me. I enjoy knowing that I am a girl who doesn’t get choices, even if my Dominant chooses for me to suffer. And I need these “proof of ownership” moments, even when I don’t always enjoy them. 

But as someone who needs pain, I have dated sadists. Actually, I kind of adore them. Sadists are deeply emotionally aware. When you are a person who feels aroused and emotionally connected through inflicting pain, you learn to read every quiver, every trembling lip, the inflection of every scream. You become hyperfocused on your partner’s emotional and physical state because that’s what feeds you— and because you know what can go wrong.

Sadists know that they enjoy hurting people. For most, it takes time to come to terms with that. And even when you’ve accepted your desire to inflict pain, building trust with a new person is always hard. To show the person you care about that you love their agony… It takes time. No one in kink exercises more self-restraint than the sadist.

So this means people with deep emotional awareness are required to take serious emotional risks with their partners. This leads to an endearing pattern that I call the slow unfurling of sadism (alternate title: How Sadists are Like Shy Baby Groundhogs). Sadists tend to start slower than other D-types. They don’t cause a lot of pain right away. They test something out, then they back off a little. A flicker of pain, then back to soft and sweet. Then they push a little further, and then back off a little. Gradually, they create a safe space for their submissive to suffer—to let pain flow freely. They earn a submissive’s trust by showing they are in control and respect boundaries.

At the same time, they are also creating opportunities for their submissive to earn their trust—trust that they won’t be rejected and trust that what they are doing is consensual. Sadists need reassurance. Did you endure the pain out of submissive obligation, or did you want it? Did it mean something to you? They need to know if you felt a connection through the pain. They need to know if it turned you on. They need to know if you want more. As a submissive, I love these moments. I get to tell my partner that I love the glimmer in their eyes before they hurt me, or that I smile every time I run my fingers over the welts on my ass. I am honest about my limits, but I also show my sadist the joy I feel in serving through pain.