Too bitter to die

@spudinacup recently reblogged one of my steven comics and it made me really happy cause I love their AU

Day 25

Lars and Steven's hug seems so desperate if you're watching Steven. Maybe it's just me personally connecting to Steven (because big oof) but there's something so sad and miserable about seeing this kid so torn up when he used to be so optimistic and happy.

He's trying so hard, but he's so young and so lost. He spent so much time righting all these wrongs that he's missed his friends' lives, his life, moving on. He claims the first thing he did to grow was change, but change you're not ready for or not ready to accept can be so terrifying.

Steven doesn't want to be needy, and he hates that he is. Except he's become so dependent on being needed for something that it's become a part of his identity. Without the gems needing him and him coming to the idea that he isn't suitable to run Little Home School, Steven has to come to terms with the fact that he's having an identity crisis, or lack of identity.

He knows he has issues, and he's trying in his own way to fix them. But he's so stuck in his own head that he can't see how much he's actually struggling, even though other people can.

This is just a cartoon but it's so realistic it hurts, because this is something that happens all the time.