Hey Ma,

Pictured: Iowa State University student during peaceful rally holds up sign that was ripped apart by Trump supporter

Tonight, I cried. I cried as I stepped up to the mic in front of a crowd of 200+ students, faculty, and staff. I cried as I reflected on my experience at Saturday’s rally.

The discussion was for our campus community to process Saturday’s peaceful student-led rally that quickly turned violent when Trump supporters physically and verbally assaulted protesters. Many of the attendees tonight were students of color, students who participated in the rally, and a number of faculty and staff.

I cried because I am disgusted, I am angry, I am hurt, and I am afraid.

 On Saturday, I stood in solidarity with students of color (and allies) in silence to rally against a presidential candidate who openly discriminates against multiple marginalized communities, specifically the hurtful ideologies directed towards the Latin@ community.

I cried because I am disgusted and angry for the 3+ hours of physical and verbal assault the rally of students endured from Cyclone and Hawkeye fans who were there to support Trump:

#‎Repost‬ @womanist_yquee ・・・ The sign read “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter” (Ames, Iowa) ——————————————————– “If I vote for trump am I white supremacist?” “Trump” chanted over and over Girl rips sign- caught on video “We want Trump” turns into “U-S-A” turns into “I-S-U” “Send the illegals back to where they came from!” “This is disgusting….we had a beautiful tailgate & this…this is disgusting” “Bush!” “Hillary sucks” Hit with beer tab “Trump 2016” “Excuse me immigrants” “I don’t like the girl with the sign that says you’re an immigrant too I’m not an immigrant”- towards me “We rally for trump” “That’s a lot of bull shit” “Make America great again “That’s true I believe in that”- towards sign “Is that English or is that stupidity”- towards sign written in Spanish “He loves us. You show more hate than him with those signs” “Donald trump for better” “I’m American 100%” “Did you pay any taxes to the U.S. Government” “You’re just uninformed” “Were you born here?” “Can you talk? They can have a sign but can’t talk” 

Also see: Trump supporter belligerently shouting “If it ain’t White, it’ ain’t right.” and “Trump supporter rips up protester’s sign”.

I cried because students are still asking where their senior university administrator stands during this time, yet they can open up the local newspaper to see a visual representation of where he stood while they rallied for their lives—does your silence mean that our lives don’t even matter?

I cried because I am hurt because as I quietly joined the rally to ensure students’ safety, I turned to one of my colleagues, only to find her with tears in her eyes. In a whisper through a broken smile, she calmly says that someone hurled a beer bottle cap at her, but that’s the most they can do to her, because she will remain standing.

I cried because I am afraid for the students who stood up tonight to say they don’t feel safe on this campus. To stand in silent protest against bigotry, only to go to work the next day to see a co-worker who was there on the opposite end laughing and pointing. To walk into a lecture hall the day after your face has gone viral for being that student protester who had his signed ripped up by a Trump supporter (“will someone come after me again because they support Trump?”). To be a student of color on this campus when you can witness the hostility from a community you thought you were a part of, replayed over and over again on BuzzFeed, Huffington Post, Twitter.

But where do #SAPros fall in this discussion–where do the staff and faculty who were there, where are their voices? I asked myself, is there an intersection between activism and vulnerability? Do I step up and share? But I thought to myself, without vulnerability, there is no activism.

So tonight, I cried. I cried as I thanked my colleagues for being so strong on Saturday. For spending 3-4+ hours to ensure our students were safe. I cried because this is what people of color have to do to survive EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I cried for our students, for our very survival as people of color, for being a part of a campus community, yet so far removed from the campus community you thought was there to protect you from this overt hate and racism.

In times of racist crises and emotionally and physically stressful situations, we as #SAPros on the front line ALSO have a voice. We should not fear political politeness and remain silent because we too are part of this campus community. A friend and fellow activist messaged me words of support, and she said it best:

“From what I’ve learned in the work of advocating for ethnic histories, communities, identities, and everything in between, it’s not only how we respond to moments in stress, but the foundation we lay on an everyday basis for progress and change.”

@joyskiiSF

Tonight I am reminded that I am surrounded by strong students, colleagues, and friends. That we have to do this work together—we have to make this a movement, not a moment. And to echo Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s quote on the student’s sign that was ripped up:

“Our lives begin to end the moment we become silent about the things that matter.”

can you hear her how she is going to tear the sign and say “vote for white-supremacy”

“If I vote for trump am I white supremacist?” “Trump” chanted over and over Girl rips sign- caught on video “We want Trump” turns into “U-S-A” turns into “I-S-U” “Send the illegals back to where they came from!” “This is disgusting….we had a beautiful tailgate & this…this is disgusting” “Bush!” “Hillary sucks” Hit with beer tab “Trump 2016” “Excuse me immigrants” “I don’t like the girl with the sign that says you’re an immigrant too I’m not an immigrant”- towards me “We rally for trump” “That’s a lot of bull shit” “Make America great again “That’s true I believe in that”- towards sign “Is that English or is that stupidity”- towards sign written in Spanish “He loves us. You show more hate than him with those signs” “Donald trump for better” “I’m American 100%” “Did you pay any taxes to the U.S. Government” “You’re just uninformed” “Were you born here?” “Can you talk? They can have a sign but can’t talk”

si.

latina women do not exist to be your personal cooks and maids you are not entitled to our labor get off your ass and make your own plate