that was probably the best nap ever

there are days where things dont go like you wanted them to go. the weather is gray and the wind is cold. you miss your bus. you miss a deadline. someone rejects you. you’re late for an appointment. but it’s okay. opportunities will present themselves again. there’s always the next bus. there will always be someone who wants to hug you. the weather will get warmer. i will feel the sun on my face again soon. i know it will be okay. we’re going to be okay.

been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.