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Okay, so like… I literally feel sick over this, but I think I have feelings for my friend’s sister’s boyfriend. 😭 Like, what is wrong with me? He’s not even a good guy—he’s basically a walking red flag in skinny jeans. He’s abusive (ugh, gross), bipolar, manipulative AF, and he’s nice to everyone except his girlfriend and her kids. Like… bro??? What even???

And yet, here I am, with my emo playlist blasting in the background, feeling things I really shouldn’t feel. Maybe it’s because he’s the only one who actually notices me when his group comes over? Like, he says hi, and suddenly I’m like 🖤✨ swoon ✨🖤. It’s so dumb, but also??? Human interaction??? A crumb of validation??? Apparently, that’s all it takes for my brain to short-circuit.

💀 I think my heart has been stuck on repeat—skipping over the same shattered beat. 💀 🖤 Sleep is overrated when your dreams are just reruns of what could’ve been.

🥀 "Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already the voice inside my head." 🥀 [cue shaky Polaroid of a cracked mirror with a "love yourself" sticker peeling off]

✨ "But maybe if I cut my bangs crooked enough, I can finally see straight." ✨

💔 It’s me vs. the void tonight, and honestly? 💔 I think the void is winning.

🌑 [insert photo of a rainy city street at night, overlaid with the words "Do you ever just...exist?"] 🌑

So totally not looking forward to tomorrow. Stuck in a small town for the holidays. My mom already showed she doesn't really know me this year by what she got me, I know the thought counts, but it hurts. She got my sis something she would so love, and got me something that I wouldn't even use. 

I'll be stuck tomorrow with people who's asking if I have a boyfriend yet, how's school, and just trying to make small talk. Bleh.