Hiiii :) I'm Bvnny and welcome to my little corner of the internet!!
I'm a 19yr old fanfic writer who focuses on the soft things. My fics tend to be comfort-heavy, character-focused, sometimes a little messy, but always full of feeling.
This space is meant to feel safe and gentle. Please be kind while you’re here. No hate, no pressure, just softness and stories and feelings.
Feel free to stick around 💙
Much luv & thx,
Bvnny 💛
∘₊𖦹˚⋆Navigation⋆˚𖦹₊∘
✍ REQUESTS ARE OPEN (I am a bit behind on them rn though... sorry)
Please read my Disclaimers before requesting (just scroll a bit)
So far I've only written for Isadora Capri but I definitely want to explore other characters.
These are the fandoms/characters I'm happy to write about (ANDDDD: I am deffos willing to explore other characters I haven't mentioned below if requested, I'm just labelling the ones I'm very likely to write about):
☂ WEDNESDAY ☂
Isadora Capri (masterlist incoming...)
⍟ MARVEL ⍟
Natasha Romanoff
Wanda Maximoff
⚯ ͛HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE ⚯ ͛
Severus Snape
Remus Lupin (In both Marauders & Golden Trio eras)
★ DOCTOR WHO ★
Rose Tyler (duh)
⚅ STRANGER THINGS ⚄
Steve Harrington
Robin Buckley
᯽ BRIDGERTON ᯽
Anyone and everyone because they are all so hot. (well except Gregory and Hyacinth because of obvious reasons).
Benedict Bridgerton
Anthony Bridgerton
Eloise Bridgerton
Other things I've watched that you might want to request from: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Superstore, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Anne with an 'E', Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Killing Eve, Gilmore Girls, Alice in Wonderland, Jurassic World, Scoop etc etc.
If there's any other show/film you want to see just request it, I might have already watched it, or it'll inspire me too! I'm always looking for good film & TV recommendations :)
To be honest I'll love anything with Billie Piper, Scarlett Johansson and Maya Hawke so yeah...
DISCLAIMERS:
Men and minors, please do not interact. Even though my fics aren’t explicitly adult right now, this space is written from my perspective and for my comfort. For my own peace of mind and sense of safety, I’d prefer minors especially to stay away from my page and my asks. This isn’t personal, it’s just a boundary that helps me feel secure sharing pieces of myself here.
At the moment, I don’t have a strict “never ever” list when it comes to requests. I tend to take things case by case, ask by ask. if something feels right and within my comfort zone, I’ll write it. if it doesn’t, I’ll gently decline. I won’t shame you for asking (unless it’s wildly inappropriate), but I do reserve the right to say no if something doesn’t sit right with me.
Everything listed above (characters/fandoms I'll write for) is always subject to change. My ADHD means I go through phases and hyperfixations. My interests shift, my comfort levels grow, and sometimes my brain just decides it wants to live somewhere new for a while. If I’m not currently in the right headspace for that character, I might not be able to write them straight away — and I never want to force something that won’t come out as soft and true as it deserves to be. If you request a fic for a specific character, I will do my best to get around to it eventually. It’s never personal, and it’s never me ignoring you. it just means my brain is wandering somewhere else for a little bit.
My ADHD also means my writing and posting can vary a lot. There is no schedule. Sometimes i’m bursting with inspiration so I update and write quickly, and other times it takes me a while to finish things (or even start them). But I promise i’m always trying my hardest, even when my brain makes it a little complicated. Thank you in advance for your patience and kindness - it truly matters and means the world.
I'm undecided about writing about real people, as in celebrities, so if you request it I'll go case by case and decide what I'm comfortable with and what not.
When it comes to smut… I’m easing into it very slowly. I am currently working on something that I’d like to include it in, but I’ve realised I find it a lot harder to write than I expected. By the time I’m fully happy with it, I’m not even sure whether I’ll feel comfortable posting it- we’ll see. You’re welcome to request it, but please understand I might not take it on, and if I do, it will probably take me longer while I’m finding my footing and building confidence in that space. I’d rather move slowly and feel proud of what I share than rush something that doesn’t feel quite right.
Due to my ADHD, I do naturally tend to write y/n as a little “neurospicy.” it’s rarely labelled outright, but it shows up in the way they think, feel, process, and move through the world. It’s never meant to exclude anyone — it’s just the lens I write through, and it tends to bleed softly into my characters.
I tend to write y/n using she/her pronouns. I’m not comfortable writing y/n as male. If you’d like your request to be written as non-binary or without specified pronouns, please make that clear in your ask and I’ll happily adjust. If pronouns aren’t specified, I will default to she/her.
I switch between second & third person POV depending on what feels most natural for the story. If you have a preference, feel free to include it in your request. If not, I’ll take a little creative liberty and choose whichever POV flows best for the piece I’m writing.
Right now I only post on Tumblr (on this account), if you see my work anywhere else please tell me so I can report it as stolen. I am thinking of expanding to Ao3 and Wattpad but for now I'm happy here, I'll let you know if that changes.
If anyone has any questions or request or whatever please feel free to go to my requests, message me or even comment it.
Hope you enjoy your time on my page :) Love y'all 💙
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Age gap (N=34, r=23), Violence, trauma, blood, characters death.
Word count: 13,9k
A/N: well. I love this chapter.
Part 4
The photograph seemed to grow heavier the longer you held it.
It made no sense. It was nothing more than a thin wooden frame, a rectangle of glass protecting an old photograph that had apparently been sitting on Natasha’s shelf for years. It had existed quietly in this room long before you ever stepped inside it, changing nothing..except now it had changed everything.
Your fingers had gone cold around the edges as you stared at the three people beneath the gray sky. Your mother stood beside your father, both dressed in tactical gear. He wore the faint smile you recognized from the few photographs you still had of him, while your mother looked exhausted and irritated in a way that was painfully familiar. And beside them stood Natasha.
“What is this?” Your voice came out quieter than you intended and Natasha’s eyes moved from the photograph to your face. “Y/n-”
“No.” You stood abruptly, startling Liho awake on the bed and you held the photograph toward Natasha. “What is this?”
She didn’t answer. The silence lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough for something inside you to begin splintering. There were only so many reasons Natasha could look terrified by an old photograph. “Tell me.”
Natasha swallowed and you saw her fingers tighten around the towel before she seemed to remember she was holding it and dropped it onto the nearby chair. “Y/n..I can explain.”
The word made your stomach twist. “Explain what?”
She took half a step toward you and you moved backward without thinking and Natasha stopped immediately. It was a tiny movement, but you saw what it did to her. You had never stepped away from her before. Not during training, not when she shouted at you outside the arena, not when she caught you breaking down in the club bathroom, not even the first time she touched your waist in this very room. Now you looked at her as if she might burn you.
“Were you there?” Her expression changed. “Were you there that day?“ and she said nothing.
Memories rushed forward, the briefing room, your tears, Natasha telling you stories about your mother stealing coffee and your father showing everyone your photograph. You remembered asking her directly if she knew what happened to them. No. I wasn’t on their final operation. I heard about it afterward.
You had believed her..no, worse, you had thanked her. “You told me you weren’t there.”
Natasha closed her eyes briefly and that was enough for you, “You were..“
“Y/n..please let me explain.”
“Were you there?!“ Your voice rose hard enough that Liho darted beneath the bed.
“Answer me!”
“Yes.”
The word tore through the room and for a moment, your body seemed unable to process it. Your lungs stopped working properly and your fingers loosened around the frame before gripping it again. Natasha’s voice was lower when she repeated it. “Yes..”
Your eyes filled before you could stop them. “No..”
“Y/n.”
“You looked me in the face and lied..”
“I know.”
“You sat there while I cried..”
The rest caught painfully in your throat and she had listened while you admitted how little you remembered about your parents. She had watched you fall apart because nobody had ever given you memories of them that felt real and all the while she had known exactly who they were. “You knew.”
“Yes.”
“How long?”
Natasha’s jaw tightened and a bitter laugh escaped you. “No. Wait. How long have you known who I was?”
Her silence answered first. “Before I came here?”
“Yes.”
“Since day one?”
“Yes..”
Every moment between you seemed to rearrange itself. The way Natasha had stared at you when you first arrived. Her impossible standards, the anger whenever you took risks, the strange attention she gave you when she thought you weren’t looking. The arena. Her apology. The stories about your parents and the messages, the club, her room, her bed. Every kiss..every moment you had believed Natasha saw you more clearly than anyone else.
“You knew who my parents were before you ever met me. You knew what happened to them and you knew I was looking for answers?”
“Yes.”
The tears escaped and you wiped them away angrily. “So what the fuck was I to you?”
Natasha’s head lifted. “Don’t..”
“What? A mission? A responsibility? Some dead parents daughter you had to keep alive because you couldn’t save them?”
The words struck visibly and Natasha went pale. And suddenly you understood. “Oh my God.”
“No.”
“You felt guilty.”
“That isn’t what this was.”
“In the beginning?”
Natasha hesitated..which was a wrong answer. Your face changed and she saw it immediately. “I was afraid because of what happened to them!” she said quickly. “When you arrived, I saw them in you. I won’t lie about that, but I stopped, y/n, I stopped.. After the arena, I understood you weren’t them. Everything between us after that-”
“Don’t use us to make this better.”
“I’m not.”
“You lied to me about my parents, Natasha. And then you slept with me.” Pain crossed her face, because the words sounded even worse once they existed outside your head.
“You let me trust you. You let me tell you things I haven’t told anyone. You let me believe you were the one person here who wasn’t deciding what I could or couldn’t handle and all this time you were doing exactly what everyone else did.”
“I know.”
“STOP saying that!!” Your scream cracked across the room and Natasha went completely still. “You don’t get to keep saying you know like that fixes anything!!”
“I’m not trying to fix it.”
“Then tell me the truth!”
“I’m trying..”
“No, you’re not! You’re standing there deciding which version of it I’m allowed to hear!”
Something in Natasha’s expression shifted. You recognized the look from training: the moment she realized there was no clean way out of a situation. “What happened to them?”
“Y/n-”
“I have spent my entire life asking that question. What happened?”
Natasha’s mouth tightened. “The details are still classified.”
For a moment, neither of you moved. Then anger rushed through you so violently it almost drowned everything else. “Classified?”
“That isn’t what I-”
“You fucked me in this room, Natasha!!!” Your voice broke into a shout. “You let me sleep in your bed. You know how I breathe when I’m scared, when my shoulder hurts, how I take my coffee, what side I sleep on, what I look like when I wake up and somehow my parents are still fucking classified?!” Natasha flinched.
“I am asking what happened to my mother and father. I was six years old! SIX!”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Then tell me!”
“I CAN'T!” The answer tore out of her and Natasha looked horrified by her own volume.
“Can’t?”
She dragged a hand over her face. “I was given an order, Y/n..”
“Fury.” Natasha said nothing. “Fury told you not to tell me.”
“Yes.”
“And you listened.”
Natasha moved instinctively, but you threw up a hand. “Don’t.” Natasha lowered her hands and you tried to breathe. “Were they alone?”
“No.”
“Were they scared?” Her hesitation was enough. “Natasha.”
“Yes.”
Your eyes closed. “Did they know they were going to die?”
A tear slipped down Natasha’s cheek. “Yes..”
Your knees weakened and you caught yourself against the desk. “They stayed so the rest of us could get out.” Natasha said softly. “Your father was helping an injured agent. Your mother was already badly hurt. The structure was failing..”
“And you left them.” There was no accusation in the words and that somehow hurt Natasha more. “Yes.”
You looked at her properly then and something finally made sense. Her rage when you ignored evacuation orders. Her fear whenever you disappeared from communications. The arena. The way she had screamed at you that you couldn’t save everyone. She had not only been afraid of losing you, she had been reliving what happened to them. “You were ordered to leave.”
“Yes.”
“Did they say anything?”
Natasha froze and your pulse became deafening.
“They did, didn’t they?” Her eyes closed and for a moment she seemed somewhere else, surrounded by smoke, static and collapsing concrete. “Your mother tried to leave you a message.”
“What message?” Natasha swallowed. “She said, Tell my daughter..”
You waited. “And?”
“That was all I heard. The transmission cut.”
“No.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What was she going to say?”
“I don’t know.”
“You knew her.”
“Yes.”
“Then guess.”
“I can’t.”
“What was she going to say?”
“I don’t know!” Natasha’s voice finally cracked. “I have spent seventeen years wondering!” Tears were falling freely now and for once Natasha didn’t seem aware of them. “I’ve imagined every version! That she loved you. That she was sorry. That she wanted you to know they didn’t leave because they wanted to. That she wanted you to live differently than they did. I don’t know, Y/n. I never heard the rest.”
A sob broke through you and Natasha almost moved closer again, but when you stepped backward, she stopped. “You knew she was thinking about me.”
“Yes..”
“All these years.”
“Yes..”
“And you never told me.”
“I should have.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“No.”
“Why didn’t you?”
For the first time, Natasha answered without hiding behind Fury or classification. “I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“You.” You stared at her.
“Of what knowing would do to you. Of what you would do with it. Of what I would see every time you looked at me afterward.” Her voice lowered. “And then I got selfish. I kept telling myself I would tell you later..after training, after selection, when you were ready, when I could explain everything. There was always another reason to wait.”
“And then?” Natasha looked at you. “And then..i- I think I fell in love with you.”
Everything stopped and neither of you had ever said those words. Not in bed, not through messages, not when Natasha held you after nightmares or woke with her arm around your waist. Maybe you had known anyway, but hearing it was different. Under any other circumstances, it might have been the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to you. Instead, it hurt.
“The more I cared about you..” Natasha whispered, “the more terrified I became that telling you would mean losing you.”
Your face crumpled. “So you lied because you didn’t want me to leave.”
“Yes.”
A broken laugh escaped you. “You took the choice away from me. You decided I could love you as long as I didn’t know enough to decide whether I should.”
“Yes.” That was it. You placed the photograph carefully on the desk. No matter what it represented now, your parents were still inside it and you couldn’t bring yourself to throw it. Then you headed toward the door. “Y/n, please.” But you kept walking. “Just let me explain the rest!”
You turned sharply. “Explain what? That there are more secrets? That Fury told you to do it? That you were protecting me?”
“No.”
“That you love me?”
Natasha froze. “You don’t get to use that right now.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“I trusted you more than anyone.”
Natasha looked shattered. “I know.”
“Stop saying that.”
She fell silent and you stepped into the hallway. “Leave me alone.”
“Y/n-”
“Do not follow me, Natasha, or I’ll scream.”
The words landed between you and Natasha obeyed. She remained where she was while you walked toward the elevator and didn’t even look back, not even when the doors opened. Only after they closed did Natasha allow her shoulders to fall. She had imagined losing you in a dozen ways: on missions, during training, because of some mistake she made too late to fix. She had never imagined the worst one would simply be you walking away because she had given you every reason to.
Lu looked up when the bedroom door opened. She sat cross legged on her bed with a laptop balanced on her knees while Maya rested at the desk. “Well?” Lu smiled. “Did Liho finally agree to shared custod-”
She stopped when she saw your face and Maya turned immediately. Both of them were standing before you managed to close the door. “Y/n?”
Lu reached you first. “What happened?”
You tried to answer, but nothing came out and Maya came closer. “Did she hurt you?” Something inside you broke and your knees gave way and Lu caught you before you hit the floor. “Hey. I’ve got you.”
“She k-knew..”
Lu frowned. “Who?”
“Natasha. She knew what happened to my parents!“
The room went silent and Maya’s hand stopped against your back. “What do you mean?”
“She was there..She was fucking there. She told me she wasn’t and told me she heard about it afterward..” Your hands covered your face. “She lied to me.”
Maya’s expression hardened. “Since when did she know who you were?”
“Before I even arrived..! She knew everything. She knew who my parents were, what I was looking for. She sat there and watched me cry about t-them.” Your voice collapsed. “I thanked her, Lu. I thanked her for telling me stories about them.”
Lu sat beside you and wrapped both arms around you. “I trusted her..” Lu held you while you cried against her shoulder and Maya moved beside you, one hand wrapped firmly around yours. For once, neither of them tried to make a joke or find the right sentence. There wasn’t one. They simply stayed..
Natasha did not remember deciding to go to Fury’s office. One moment she was standing in her quarters with the photograph lying crooked on the desk, your fingerprints faintly visible against the glass. The next, she was moving through the upper levels of the compound with her jaw clenched hard enough to hurt. She had left the photograph where it was. She couldn’t make herself touch it again.
Your mother was still smiling inside the frame. Your father stood beside her with one arm brushing Natasha’s shoulder, all three of them captured only hours before everything went wrong..before Natasha left them behind, before you lost both your parents, before seventeen years of lies began.
The compound had settled into its night rhythm, but Natasha barely noticed anyone she passed. One agent stepped aside without being asked. Another started to greet her, saw her face and changed his mind. Good.
The security officer outside Fury’s office straightened when she approached. “Agent Romanoff-“
“Open it.”
“He’s in a-”
The door opened from the inside and Fury stood several feet beyond it with a tablet in one hand. He took one look at Natasha and dismissed the officer with a nod. “Give us the room.”
Natasha entered without waiting for an invitation and the doors sealed behind her. Fury put the tablet down. “What happened?”
“She knows.” There was no need to explain who, so his expression changed immediately. “How much?”
“Enough.”
“How?”
That question finally cut through the anger. Until now, Natasha had been moving on instinct, furious at herself, at Fury, at S.H.I.E.L.D., at a mission seventeen years old that somehow still had enough life left in it to destroy something new. Now the reality of the situation caught up with her.
The photograph had been in Natasha’s quarters…you had been in Natasha’s quarters. Not because of an injury or a classified briefing. Not because she had called you there in any official capacity. You had been there because you had been spending nights in her bed. Because she had kissed you in that room. Because she had crossed the exact boundary she had warned herself about from the first day she opened your file.
“Romanoff.”
“She found a photograph.”
“Where?”
Natasha’s gaze hardened. “That isn’t relevant.”
“Considering you had possession of it, I’d say it is.”
“It was in my quarters.”
Fury went completely still and Natasha watched the calculation happen across his face and stepped forward before he could speak. “No.” He lifted an eyebrow.
“Whatever you are about to ask is not what we are discussing.”
“I haven’t asked anything.”
“You were going to.”
Fury studied her for a moment. On paper, there was no defending it: Natasha Romanoff, assigned instructor and evaluator, involved with a recruit under her direct supervision. Natasha knew exactly how it looked..worse, she knew what an investigation could do to you.
Your evaluations would be reviewed. Every decision Natasha had made involving you would become evidence. People would question whether you had earned command consideration, whether she had altered your scores, whether you had used a relationship with a superior officer to advance yourself. None of it would be true, but that wouldn’t stop anyone from asking. Fury finally sighed. “Did you compromise her evaluation?”
“No.”
“Did you pressure her?” Natasha’s expression sharpened so quickly that Fury raised one hand. “I had to ask.”
“No.”
“Did anything happen that she did not freely choose?”
“No.”
Fury held her gaze. “Then I trust you to understand how badly you’ve complicated your own life. Natasha gave a humorless laugh. “That’s generous.” He moved behind the desk again. “I’m not interested in policing your private life unless it interferes with the work or puts someone under your command in a position where they cannot say no.”
“It won’t happen again. Transfer her.” Fury’s expression closed. “Move her to Hill, Hayes, anyone qualified. I don’t care. She cannot remain under me.”
“No.” The answer came too quickly and Natasha stared at him. “What?”
“I can’t transfer her.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No.”
“You moved Alvarez three weeks ago because he couldn’t stop arguing with his squad commander!”
“This is different.”
“Then make it not different! I am telling you I am no longer capable of being objective where she is concerned.”
“Natasha, the timetable changed.”
„What does that mean?”
“The operational window is closing.”
“How far?” Fury hesitated. “How far, Nick?”
“Roughly two months.” For a second, the sentence meant nothing, but then it meant everything. “No..”
“Romanoff-”
“They have six months left!”
“Not anymore.”
“They aren’t ready!” Natasha stepped back from the desk. Physical readiness wasn’t the problem. Most of the recruits could fight, shoot, clear rooms and function inside tactical environments. That did not make them ready for what came next. They hadn’t finished advanced resistance training. Half of them still hesitated when command structures shifted without warning. Several had barely begun live environmental operations..they had improved as a unit, but they had never deployed internationally together. Six months had already been aggressive..two were reckless. “You cannot put them into the field in eight weeks.”
“We may not have a choice.”
“What happened?”
Fury leaned back slightly. “The network started moving assets forty-eight hours ago. Three emergency relocations. Two financial channels burned and a storage facility we’ve monitored for seven months was emptied overnight.” Natasha’s mind moved immediately.
“Someone warned them.”
“Yes.”
“From their side?”
Fury’s silence answered differently and Natasha’s stomach dropped. “..No.”
“We don’t know yet.”
“You think the leak is internal.”
“Hill is running counterintelligence now.”
For a moment, Fury’s office disappeared. Natasha saw smoke and rain, static swallowing radio traffic, a route that had been clear less than an hour earlier suddenly filled with armed men. She saw an extraction point destroyed before her team could reach it. Your mother looking at her through blood and ash. Someone had known. “Someone inside S.H.I.E.L.D. sold us out seventeen years ago.”
“We believe so.”
“And now someone may be doing it again.”
“We don’t know whether it is the same source, the same network, or someone using the same methods.”
A new thought reached Natasha. “The arena.” And Fury’s expression changed. The uncontrolled weapons..shutdown failure and the corrupted safety update. Engineering had called it a software conflict, so, Natasha felt the hair rise along her arms. “The arena wasn’t an accident.”
“We don’t know that.”
“The fire-control system ignored three separate shutdown procedures! Emergency power stayed active when it should have isolated the weapon network and the opposition program somehow corrupted the only safety layer capable of overriding it. Now you’re telling me someone inside this organization may be feeding information to the same network we’re preparing to hit.”
“Hill is investigating.”
“That isn’t enough.”
“It’s what we have.”
Natasha turned away. Twenty-two recruits. Twenty-two personnel files, access credentials, histories, training records. Twenty-two people who had been inside that arena. “The recruits?”
“We’re checking everyone.”
“Jesus Christ..”
“There is no evidence the leak originates in the program.”
“But it could.”
“Yes.”
You came into Natasha’s mind instantly. You inside the arena while weapons fired out of control. You disappearing from her command channel. You dragging Dawson through smoke. Your blood on someone else’s sleeve. Now there was a possibility that none of it had been accidental and someone might have deliberately tried to break the program. Natasha’s hands curled into fists. “We shut it down.”
“We can’t.”
“The mission.”
“We can’t.”
Natasha turned on him. “You are asking me to send their daughter into the same network that killed them while we may have another leak inside the organization!”
“It is not the same operation.”
“It is close enough!”
“If we shut it down now, everything we have spent seventeen years rebuilding disappears.”
“Good.”
“No. Not good.”
“I don’t care about your intelligence network.”
“You will when they disappear and build another one somewhere we can’t see.”
Natasha said nothing and Fury stepped closer. “They’re moving because they know something. If they vanish now, we lose the archive, personnel lists, financial routes and potentially the names of every asset they have recruited inside allied agencies.”
“And if we go?”
“We finish what Nightglass failed to finish.”
Natasha’s face changed. “Don’t phrase it like that.”
“I’m not trying to make this personal.”
“It became personal seventeen years ago.”
Fury’s voice lowered. “That is why Hill is tearing through every clearance log, communication record and system access from the last year. Nobody deploys while we still believe we have an active internal leak.”
“And if you don’t find them?”
“We will.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“It’s the only one I have tonight.”
For a few seconds, neither spoke. Then the anger left Natasha almost as quickly as it had come and sat down. Fury had seen her shot, drugged and bleeding badly enough that she should have been unconscious. He had rarely seen her look this tired. “What am I supposed to do?” she asked. The question was so quiet he nearly missed it. Natasha looked at her hands. “I spent seventeen years thinking about what I should have done differently. Every route, every order, every second. And now you want me to prepare their daughter to walk into the same network while we’re investigating another internal betrayal.”
Fury waited before answering. “No. I want you to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself.”
Natasha looked up. “And if I can’t?”
“Then we don’t deploy.” She studied him carefully. “You mean that?”
“Yes.”
“No identified leak, no operation.”
“Yes.”
Natasha held his gaze, then stood. “Y/l/n gets the file.”
Fury’s expression changed. “Romanoff-”
“No.”
“The original report contains compartmentalized intelligence.”
“Redact active assets. Nothing else.”
“She is not cleared for the entire report.”
“She deserves to know how her parents died!”
“And if it destabilizes her one month before selection?”
“Then she decides whether she wants to stay.”
Fury stared at her and Natasha did not look away. “She decides.” After a long moment, Fury reached for his tablet. “I’ll have a copy prepared.”
Natasha closed her eyes briefly. It definitely wasn’t forgiveness and fixed nothing. But for once, it was the truth.
You couldn’t remember falling asleep. There was no memory of turning off the lamp or pulling the blanket over yourself. One moment you had been sitting between Lu and Maya with your mother’s unfinished message repeating inside your head and the next thin morning light stretched across the ceiling.
Your eyes hurt and your throat was raw. Your body felt heavy without feeling rested. The moment you became awake enough to understand where you were, Natasha came back. Not only the Natasha from last night, but version of her. Her voice correcting your stance. Her fingers adjusting your vest. The first strange look she gave you when you entered the program. Natasha telling you your mother stole coffee and your father carried your photograph everywhere. Her laughter over messages. Her hand wrapped around yours. Liho asleep across your legs. Natasha looking at you like you were something she had never expected to want.
You remembered waking in her bed, watching her stand in the doorway with damp hair and coffee in her hand. You remembered telling her you didn’t regret what happened between you. Neither do I. Then the photograph replaced everything.
Were you there?
Yes.
Did they know they were going to die?
Yes.
You covered your face. How had you missed it? You had spent months learning Natasha’s expressions. You knew when she was irritated, when she was tired, when her silence meant anger and when it meant she was trying not to say something softer. You had believed that meant you knew her. All along, she had carried an entire graveyard behind her face. And this was Natasha Romanoff..the Black Widow. A woman who had survived by lying convincingly. Somehow you had still convinced yourself you would recognize a lie because she held your hand differently than she held anyone else’s.
Across the room, Lu was already awake. Maya sat near the edge of her bed tightening the brace around her injured thigh. Neither spoke and you were grateful for that. In the bathroom, your reflection was brutal: swollen eyes, pale skin, tangled hair. Lu appeared in the doorway. “Do you want us to say you’re sick?”
“No.” You washed your face and dressed slowly. Your hands paused at the zipper, because Natasha had undone this jacket before. At breakfast, you barely touched anything until Lu pushed toast toward you.
You forced down half, because an infuriating thought surfaced. Natasha would notice if you arrived unfed and you nearly stopped eating again. Maya looked at you. “Eat because I’m telling you to.” You gave her a tired look. “Better?”
By 0945, recruits were gathering in the main corridor. Something was wrong immediately. Usually the morning assignment appeared before breakfast ended. Today, nothing had arrived until 0938. Then every recruit received the same message. REPORT TO BRIEFING ROOM ONE. 1000 HOURS. FULL UNIT.
When the doors to Briefing Room One opened, you saw Natasha standing at the front and something inside your chest tightened. She looked perfectly composed. Uniform immaculate, hair pulled back, tablet resting on the table beside her. There was no visible trace of the woman you had screamed at less than twelve hours earlier.
Hayes stood nearby and Hill waited beside the projection screen. Fury remained near the back wall. All of them together meant something serious had happened. Natasha saw you enter and the change in her was almost invisible. Her shoulders went still, her eyes lingering on you for less than a second. You looked away because you simply couldn’t look at her. You sat between Lu and Maya, opened your notebook and stared toward the screen. Natasha forced herself to focus. There was the woman who wanted to cross the room and ask if you had slept and there was Agent Romanoff, about to tell twenty-two recruits they had just lost five months of preparation.
She chose the second. “Yesterday.” Natasha began once everyone had settled, “you were operating under the assumption that this program had approximately six months remaining before final deployment. That is no longer accurate.” The screen illuminated behind her. A satellite image showed a reinforced facility beneath a mountainside, surrounded by forest and service roads. “This is a Vesper operational site.”
The name meant nothing to most of the room. “Vesper is a transnational intelligence and weapons network operating through smaller cells across Europe, Asia and North Africa. They specialize in intelligence brokerage, weapons development, covert logistics and classified material. Your program was created around a future operation targeting this site.”
The room shifted. Until now, the mission had been abstract. Now it had walls and an enemy.. Natasha changed the image to internal schematics. “The operation has three primary objectives: infiltrate the command facility without triggering a full evacuation, recover the central intelligence archive and identify Vesper assets embedded inside allied agencies. Senior command personnel are to be captured where possible.” Lu stopped fidgeting and Maya stared at the screen.
“This operation was originally scheduled for approximately six months from now. Forty-eight hours ago, Vesper changed its routine.” A recruit near the front frowned. “When?”
“Within sixty days.”
The room erupted. “Sixty days?”
“We had six months..”
Natasha allowed the confusion for a moment, then she raised her voice. “Listen. You heard correctly. The operational window has moved.” Dawson leaned forward. “How long do we have?”
Natasha looked across all twenty-two faces. “Fifty eight days before final deployment readiness is assessed.” Nobody spoke.
You had entered the room believing nothing could temporarily push Natasha and your parents out of your thoughts. This did. Fifty eight days to become whatever S.H.I.E.L.D. had expected you to become in six months. Fifty eight days before simulations could become a real facility and practice rounds could become bullets. “That’s not possible.”
“That was my response too.” The honesty surprised everyone. “When I received this information last night, I said you were not ready.” Your gaze lifted before you could stop it and Natasha saw. For half a second, your eyes met, but you looked away again.
“I still believe you are not ready.” she continued. “Today. You are not deploying today or tomorrow. You have Fifty eight days.” She let the number settle differently this time. Not as something stolen, but as something remaining. “Fifty-eight days to prove that six months was a convenience, not a requirement.”
The screen changed and a brutal schedule appeared. Live-fire assessment, advanced breach operations, interrogation resistance, night deployments, medical trauma response.. There were no empty days.
“For the next eight weeks, basic instruction is over.” Natasha said. “If you still need someone to teach you how to clear a room or hold a weapon, you will not be selected.” That word shifted the atmosphere. Selected.
“Twenty-two of you entered this program. Six will deploy. Not the six strongest. Not the six fastest. Not the six highest test scores. Six people who can function as one unit when everything stops going according to plan.”
Everyone thought of the arena. “We will evaluate judgment, adaptability, discipline, team function and recovery under stress. We will pay attention to whether people trust you when they are afraid.”
Her eyes found yours. “Whether you deserve that trust after making a mistake.”
Your heart stopped for half a second, then she moved on before it became about the two of you. “If your only goal is to become one of those six, you will fail. Competition matters, but if you start treating the person beside you as someone you need to defeat, I will remove you myself. The six people who deploy will survive because the sixteen who don’t pushed them hard enough to deserve it.” The room slowly changed and fear remained, but focus appeared beside it.
“You’ve spent months complaining that I expect too much from you.” Several mouths twitched. “You were right.”
A faint laugh passed through the recruits. “I did. And I am about to expect more.” She looked toward the image of the Vesper facility. “You’re tired. Some of you are scared. Good. Fear is information and it tells you the consequences matter.” Her eyes returned to the room.
“Fifty eight days is not enough time to become perfect. It is enough time to become dangerous.” Something electric moved through the group. “You were chosen because someone believed you had the potential to operate at this level. Potential means nothing now. You want one of those six positions? Earn it. You make a mistake, fix it. You fail, learn faster. You’re afraid, move anyway and if somebody beside you starts falling behind, pull them forward, because tomorrow they may be the person standing between you and a bullet.” By the time she finished, the fear hadn’t disappeared, but neither had anyone’s determination.
“Final preparation begins this afternoon. Until then, return to your quarters. Eat, hydrate, sleep if you can. Call whoever you need to call before your schedules stop belonging to you. Report to Training Area One at 1400 in full combat gear.” She paused. “Dismissed.”
The room came alive and chairs scraped across the floor, and nervous conversations started immediately. Fifty-eight days and six people.. You gathered your things and left between Lu and Maya without looking at Natasha. The second the three of you entered your room, Lu shut the door. “Fifty eight days!!” Maya dropped onto her bed. “I heard.”
“No, I need someone to say it again because my brain rejected it.”
Normally, you would have laughed. Instead, you removed your jacket and hung it over the chair. Your thoughts felt divided between two places: Natasha’s room last night and the Vesper facility from the briefing. Six people. A week ago, finding out only six recruits would deploy would have consumed you, but now one detail mattered more. Natasha had learned about the accelerated mission last night.
While you were crying in this room. Had she gone directly to Fury afterward? Had they discussed you-
Two knocks interrupted the thought and your stomach dropped before Lu even opened the door. Natasha stood in the hallway holding a gray folder. “Agent Romanoff.” Lu said automatically. Then she remembered and her expression cooled. “What are you doing here?”
“Is Y/l/n here?”
“No.”
You blinked and Maya stared at the back of Lu’s head. Natasha’s gaze flicked briefly toward your jacket hanging in plain sight. “Bennett.”
“She doesn’t want to see you.” The real answer and Natasha’s jaw tightened. “I need to speak with her.”
“No.” Lu looked mildly terrified by her own courage, but she didn’t move. Under any other circumstances, Natasha could have ordered her aside. She had the authority and also also knew exactly what using it would prove. “I’m not here to force her to talk to me.” Natasha said. “I came to give her this.”
She lifted the folder and Lu looked down. Your entire body went cold when you saw the words. OPERATION NIGHTGLASS.
“This is the complete mission file.” Natasha said and Lu reached for it. Natasha held on for another second. “There are photographs, medical reports and audio transcripts. Some of it is difficult to read. She should know that before she opens it.”
“I’ll tell her.” Natasha released the folder. “Everyone else reports to Training Area One at fourteen hundred. Y/l/n stands down today.” Your head lifted. “She won’t be penalized.” Natasha continued. “Her position in the program doesn’t change. She reports tomorrow at the standard time if she chooses to continue. If she wants to speak to Fury after she reads it, call Hayes. He’ll arrange it.” Natasha looked past Lu once, she knew you were there..You hated how quickly your body remembered wanting Natasha before your mind reminded you why you shouldn’t, so you stayed where you were and Natasha turned away.
Only after she disappeared down the corridor did Lu close the door and leaned back against it. “I just told Natasha Romanoff no..”
Normally, you would have laughed, but you couldn’t. Lu crossed the room and held out the file. “This is it.” You stared at the cover. Operation Nightglass.
For years, you had imagined finding it. You had imagined anger, relief, vindication, but you had never imagined fear.. “Natasha said there are photographs, medical reports and audio transcripts.”
Maya touched your shoulder. “You don’t have to open it right now.”
“Yes, I do.”
Beneath the old classification markings was a new authorization stamp. ACCESS AUTHORIZED: AGENT Y/L/N.
You had spent your entire life being told you didn’t have clearance to know how your parents died. Apparently all it took was falling in love with the woman who had watched it happen and that thought made you sick. Lu and Maya offered to stay, but you refused. They had training and whatever was inside the folder was something you needed to face eventually. Before leaving, Lu hugged you hard enough to hurt.
“If you need us, call.”
“I will.”
“If you start spiraling-”
“I’ll call.”
Maya dragged her out and the door closed. For almost ten minutes, you didn’t touch the file. You drank water, walked to the desk, sat down, stood again and the folder waited. You hated it for that. Hated that the truth could sit quietly on your bed after ruining years of your life simply by being absent. Eventually, you sat beside it and rested your fingers against the cover..and opened it.
The first corridors were empty. Natasha noticed it immediately and your mother noticed Natasha noticing. A camera that should have been looping wasn’t moving. A security door intelligence claimed would be locked stood partially open. The first shot came through the wall beside Natasha’s head before anyone could answer and the corridor erupted. Armed men appeared from positions that should have been empty, firing directly into the route S.H.I.E.L.D. had planned to use.
Your mother shouted what all three of them already understood. “They knew the entry route!”
From then on, the mission became damage control. Fury redirected them toward the secondary approach while ordering them to maintain the original objective. Natasha hated it, but the archive was the reason they had gone in and command still believed retrieving it justified the risk.
They fought their way downstairs. One agent died on the stairwell when a round entered beneath his jaw. Another had his shoulder shattered in an explosion. By the time they reached the archive level, half their intelligence had already proven wrong. The archive itself, however, was exactly where it was supposed to be, that was when Natasha first understood something worse.
Whoever had betrayed them had not wanted S.H.I.E.L.D. to stay away. They had wanted them inside. Less than a minute later, explosions began beneath the facility and the enemy was collapsing the structure. Fury immediately abandoned the original extraction point and transmitted new coordinates east of their position. Natasha remembered seeing the route appear across her display and looking toward your mother.
She saw the same thought reflected back. They were being pushed exactly where the enemy wanted them. The team was already wounded, the facility was failing around them, and hostile forces were closing from behind. They ran.
Your mother was hit three corridors from the eastern exit and Natasha heard the impact before she saw the blood. The round entered low beneath the edge of her armor and remained somewhere inside her abdomen. Your father caught her before she hit the ground and Natasha immediately tried to stabilize the wound. Within minutes, your mother could barely stand.
Blood soaked through Natasha’s gloves every time she pressed against the injury. Extraction was less than two minutes away, Fury kept telling them, but your mother collapsed against the wall before they reached it. Your father refused to leave her. Natasha could see rain through the damaged side of the building. They were painfully close to getting out, but gunfire was moving toward them from the corridor behind and several other agents were wounded badly enough to need help.
Your mother told your father to go, but he refused. Natasha ordered both of them to move, but your mother couldn’t support her own weight anymore and your father would not leave her behind. That was where the mission divided. Natasha remembered your father pushing one of the injured junior agents toward her. “Take him.”
“I can get everyone out.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Extraction is right there. I can come back.”
Your mother looked at Natasha with an exhausted calm that frightened her more than the gunfire. She already knew what was going to happen. Then Fury came through Natasha’s comm with the order that would follow her for the next seventeen years. The objective came first.
Natasha had the archive secured against her vest and several mobile survivors still capable of extraction. She was ordered to take them east, but refused. Fury repeated the order and your mother told her to listen.
Your father shouted at her to go and eventually, Natasha obeyed. That was the part she had never forgiven herself for. Not because the order was tactically wrong, but because she followed it. She helped one injured agent toward the breach while another limped beside them, forcing herself forward despite every instinct screaming at her to turn around. Then static exploded across her comm. Your mother’s voice broke through. “Nat, we’re pinned on the east side-”
Natasha stopped and gunfire swallowed the rest. Your father was shouting somewhere behind her, his voice distorted by distance and static. Natasha heard panic before she understood the words, then his voice came through clearly. “Get her out!”
Natasha turned immediately, but fury ordered her not to. She could still remember standing in the rain with the archive strapped against her chest while extraction personnel rushed toward the wounded agents beside her, knowing your parents were still alive only a few hundred meters away. She told Fury she could go back, but he told her an extraction team was already redirecting. She argued and he gave her a direct order to remain with the objective.
Then your mother’s voice came through again. “Natasha-” Static swallowed the rest. Natasha got into the extraction vehicle and lasted less than a minute. The vehicle had barely cleared the immediate fire zone when another explosion tore through the eastern side of the facility. Natasha looked back through the open door and watched part of the structure collapse. She ordered the driver to stop, but he refused. Fury told her response teams were moving in and ordered her again to stay with the archive.
Natasha jumped out anyway. By the time she fought her way back toward the east side, the gunfire had almost completely stopped. The silence was worse and rain poured through the collapsed roof and mixed with dust until the floor had become gray mud beneath her boots. Natasha called your mother’s name first, then your father’s, but nobody answered. She found your father beside the remains of a support column, his weapon still lying near his hand. His fingers were curled inside his vest, close to the pocket where he kept your photograph.
Natasha checked his pulse even though she already knew there wouldn’t be one. Then another agent shouted from farther inside. Your mother was against the same wall where she had fallen earlier. The gunfire had reached her again before the collapse. Natasha dropped beside her and pressed her hands against wounds that no longer mattered. Blood mixed with rainwater beneath your mother, running in thin red streams across the concrete.
The official report recorded their deaths at 03:17 following hostile engagement and structural collapse. It stated that Agent Romanoff completed extraction of the archive and three injured personnel before returning to the facility against direct command instruction. It recorded that both of your parents were already dead when she reached them. The report did not mention Natasha kneeling in rainwater beside your mother until another agent physically pulled her away. It did not mention the photograph she found inside your father’s vest, one corner stained with blood.
And it did not record the promise she made while holding it. Natasha had looked down at the six-year-old girl in the red coat and silently promised that if she ever had the chance, she would make sure you never ended the same way. Seventeen years later, sitting with the Nightglass file open in front of you, you maybe understood her.
You understood why Natasha had looked terrified when you went back for Dawson during the arena disaster. Why she had screamed when you disappeared from communications. Why You cannot save everyone had sounded less like instruction and more like something being torn out of her. Most of all, you understood why your question outside the arena had destroyed her.
What kind of agent am I supposed to be if I can hear someone calling for help and decide they’re someone else’s problem?
Because seventeen years earlier, Natasha had done exactly that. Not because she didn’t care or she wanted to leave them. Because someone in her ear had told her the mission came first and for a few terrible minutes she had obeyed. But by the time Natasha chose differently, it was already too late and understanding Natasha’s decision did not mean forgiving it.
You could understand why she had followed Fury’s order seventeen years ago. You could understand the archive strapped to her vest, the wounded agents depending on her, the extraction vehicle waiting while the building collapsed behind them. You could even understand why your parents had stayed. What you could not forgive was everything that came afterward.
Seventeen years of silence. Months of Natasha looking you in the face while knowing exactly who you were and what had happened to them. Letting you trust her, letting you fall in love with her, and choosing to lie anyway. So when you returned to training the next morning, the Nightglass file remained locked beneath your bed, and something inside you felt locked away with it.
And damn, final preparation was brutal. Whatever Natasha had called training during the previous months had apparently been the merciful version, because the new fifty eight days schedule consumed everything: sleep, free time, privacy and eventually any illusion that your body belonged entirely to you.
The first week began before sunrise and rarely ended before darkness. Live ammunition replaced marking rounds, not aimed directly at recruits, but close enough that the crack of a bullet striking steel beside your head changed the atmosphere immediately. There were no sensor lights or instructors announcing simulated casualties anymore. Mistakes were beginning to resemble the mistakes you could make in the field. Natasha made sure nobody forgot it.
“Again.”
A collective groan moved through the mock apartment. You stood near the breached doorway with sweat running beneath your armor. Reeves leaned against the wall, Dawson was breathing hard beside him, Maya checked her magazine behind you and even Lu had become too exhausted to make jokes.
“Six point four seconds. Standard is five.”
Reeves muttered something and Natasha’s eyes found him immediately. “Would you like to share?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Wonderful. Reset.”
You ran it again and again. Five point nine seconds became five point six, then five point two. By the seventh attempt, Lu’s hands shook during her reload. On the ninth, Maya overcommitted to a doorway and missed her assigned corner. Natasha stopped the drill. “You’re dead.”
Maya swallowed. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Why?”
“I was watching Y/l/n’s sector.”
Natasha’s gaze moved briefly toward you. Maya corrected herself. “I was watching the wrong sector.”
“Yes.”
Natasha stepped inside. “Caring about the person beside you does not mean watching them instead of doing your job. In the field, you protect them by doing yours.”
The words were meant for Maya, but they hit you anyway. Your eyes lifted to Natasha’s and for half a second, neither of you moved. Then you looked away. “Reset.” Natasha ordered.
The second week was worse. Sleep deprivation, navigation without digital equipment, medical stabilization while instructors shouted conflicting orders, interrogation resistance, surveillance shifts followed immediately by physical assessments. You stopped organizing your life by days. It became a cycle of training, eating, studying and sleeping whenever there was time. Whenever your thoughts threatened to wander somewhere you didn’t want them, you studied harder.
You learned everything S.H.I.E.L.D. had on Vesper: facility architecture, known personnel, financial routes, weapons procurement, communication patterns and historical operations. You read Nightglass most of all. Again and again, until entire sections of your parents’ after-action report lived inside your head.
Natasha noticed the change in you before anyone else. At first, she convinced herself it was normal. Everyone was pushing harder because everyone had lost five months of preparation, but your version of harder became something different. You arrived first and stayed last, you requested additional weapons drills and historical access to Vesper files. You stopped complaining entirely and Natasha discovered quickly that she preferred your sarcasm. Complaints meant you still had room to breathe. Silence meant you were disappearing into yourself.
Your performance improved, but something about it became sharper. You were cleaner in combat, quicker in tactical environments and far less patient with mistakes. During a timed corridor assessment, Reeves missed the same exit for the third time.
“Again. ” you said and he bent over, hands on his knees. “We’ve run it six times.”
“And you’ve missed the same corner three.”
“It costs half a second.”
“It costs whoever is behind you a clean field of fire. Fix it.”
Reeves stared at you before silently resetting and Natasha watched from the observation line beside Hayes. “She’s getting good.” he said. “She was already good.”
“You know what I mean.”
Natasha folded her arms. “She’s running on anger.”
“And?”
“Anger is excellent fuel until you need to stop.”
Hayes looked toward you as you rearranged the team yourself, moving Lu two positions and correcting Dawson’s stance with a short gesture. “She’s leading.”
“She’s controlling.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Leadership leaves space for other people to think. She isn’t doing enough of that.”
She tried to speak to you three times during those first weeks. The first was after weapons assessment, when you stayed behind cleaning equipment after everyone else had left. “Y/n.”
Your hands stopped briefly before continuing.
“Yes, Agent Romanoff?” The title hurt more than Natasha expected. “I wanted to ask how you’re doing.”
“With training?”
“With everything.”
You set the cleaning cloth down. “I’m fine.”
Natasha almost laughed at the cruelty of hearing the lie you used to accuse her of. “You don’t have to pretend with me..”
Your eyes finally lifted. “I’m not pretending. Am I dismissed?”
Natasha wanted to say no. Wanted to make you stay for five minutes and stop looking at her as though she were a stranger. Instead, she moved aside. “Yes.”
The fourth time, she never reached you. You were sitting alone in the cafeteria after midnight, one hand against your forehead while facility schematics glowed across your laptop. Natasha saw you through the glass doors and took a step toward you. Then she remembered your voice. Leave me alone.
She turned away and you happened to look up in time to see her reflection disappear from the glass and hated how much you wished she had come inside. That was the part you refused to admit. You missed her. Apparently anger did not stop that. Neither did betrayal. You missed her in small, stupid places. Your phone was silent now, no photographs of Liho sitting on Natasha’s paperwork, no dry comments about training, no messages asking whether you had eaten or whether your shoulder hurt. You still checked sometimes and hated yourself every time. You missed her room too. Not only the sex, but the quiet..the way the compound disappeared when the door closed, the way Natasha could read reports with your feet in her lap, the way Liho had begun sleeping against your hip. You missed waking beside someone and feeling safe before you remembered that safety could be taken away.
Sometimes you passed Natasha in a corridor and both of you slowed almost imperceptibly before continuing in opposite directions. Every time softness threatened to creep back in, you remembered one sentence. I wasn’t on their final operation. The lie was enough to keep you moving.
By the end of the third week, the program had begun to shrink. There were no dramatic eliminations or names displayed publicly on screens. People simply reached their limits. Peterson withdrew after a twenty-hour command assessment, admitting afterward that he could no longer distinguish between wanting the mission and wanting to prove he deserved it. Another recruit failed medical readiness because of repeated stress injuries. Two requested reassignment after the first extended live-fire exercise, and another decided after interrogation resistance that field intelligence was not the life they wanted.
Twenty-two became eighteen. Then fourteen. Then eleven. At the beginning of the program, every withdrawal would have meant one less person competing for six positions. Now everyone remaining understood that the people leaving had trained beside them, bled beside them and dragged them through exercises when they thought they could not continue. When Dawson received a medical reassignment because of a knee injury three days before final selection, Lu cried in the bathroom where he couldn’t see her.
Now there were six positions. Nobody spoke much on the walk to the briefing room. Lu stayed beside you, unusually quiet. Maya walked on your other side with her hands buried in her uniform pockets. Reeves and Carter were several steps ahead, speaking too softly to hear, while Nguyen followed nearby.
You had imagined this morning countless times. Months ago, the anticipation would have made you sick. Now the feeling was different. You still wanted the mission, what just had changed was the woman deciding whether you deserved to go. Natasha stood at the front when the eleven of you entered. Fury waited near one side of the room, Hill on the other and Hayes stood beside the projection wall with a tablet tucked beneath one arm.
Nobody needed an explanation. There were no schedules or tactical diagrams on the screen and only six empty lines. Natasha’s gaze traveled across the room. When it reached you, it did not linger.
“For the last thirty days, you have been evaluated under conditions designed to remove as much predictability as possible.” Natasha began. “Physical and tactical performance mattered, but neither was enough. We evaluated command decisions, recovery after failure, medical response, interpersonal function, weapons discipline, and whether you could accept useful information from someone you disagreed with.”
A few recruits glanced at one another and Natasha noticed. “Some of you improved dramatically. Some discovered another operational track suits you better. That does not make anyone in this room better than those who left. It means six people fit this mission.”
Your pulse increased and Natasha looked briefly toward Fury. He nodded and she turned back.
“Bennett.” Lu stopped breathing beside you and for half a second, she looked genuinely confused. Then Maya touched her wrist.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Selected.”
Her name appeared on the first line and Lu sat very slowly, staring at the screen as if it might change its mind. “Maya Patel.” Maya’s head lifted.
“Selected.”
Two. Then Carter, Nguyen and Reeves. Five names filled the screen and your stomach tightened. Natasha stopped and for several seconds, the room seemed to stop with her. Five..there should have been six. Of course.. Maybe you had expected this because whatever Natasha believed about your abilities, choosing you would complicate everything. Fury knew about the relationship now. Perhaps Natasha had decided the cleanest answer was to remove you from the equation entirely or perhaps she simply didn’t trust you. You looked down at your hands and tried to accept that possibility before it could hurt. Then Fury spoke. “Romanoff.” You looked up and he was watching Natasha. “Your deputy?”
Something changed in the room..Second in command had never been presented as a separate position. Lu turned toward you instinctively before forcing herself to look ahead and Natasha slowly scanned the remaining recruits. Then her eyes found yours and this time, they stayed. “Y/l/n.”
You forgot to breathe and your name appeared on the sixth line. Y/L/N - OPERATIONAL DEPUTY
You stared at the screen before looking back at Natasha. Her expression revealed almost nothing, but you knew her too well for nothing to be empty. There was tension around her mouth, something painful behind her eyes, and beneath both of those things was certainty. Fury stepped forward. “Agent Y/l/n.”
You stood. “Yes, sir.”
“You understand the position?”
“Yes.”
“I want to hear it.”
Your throat felt dry. “If Agent Romanoff becomes unable to maintain operational command, field authority transfers to me.”
“Not only if she becomes unconscious.”
“No, sir.”
“If she is injured?”
“If the injury compromises her ability to lead, I assume command.”
“If communications separate your elements?”
“I maintain authority over mine until command is restored.” Fury watched you carefully. “And if Romanoff gives you an order you believe will destroy the mission?”
The question landed differently and for a second, you were back in the arena. Your eyes moved toward her and Natasha did not look away. “I challenge it with the information I have.” you said. “If there is time, I confirm. If there isn’t, I make the decision necessary to preserve the mission and the team.”
“Even if that means contradicting Romanoff?”
“Yes, sir.”
Something almost invisible shifted in Natasha’s expression and Fury nodded. “This is not an honorary position. If Romanoff goes down, there is no committee and no time to decide whether you feel ready. Her mission becomes yours. Her personnel become yours, every casualty becomes your responsibility.”
Your stomach tightened. “I understand.”
“Do you accept?”
For one strange second, everything in the room disappeared except Natasha. There was too much between you that had nothing to do with command, but none of it changed the answer. “Yes, sir. I accept.”
“Good.”
You sat down and only then did you notice your hands were shaking. Lu pressed her knee lightly against yours beneath the table and Natasha looked toward the six names. “Then this is the field unit.”
Something eased through the room. “The next phase belongs exclusively to Nightglass preparation.” Natasha continued. “Beginning tomorrow, your training separates from the rest of the program. Everyone not selected remains eligible as an alternate until deployment.”
The disappointment among the five others was visible and Natasha looked directly at them. “You did not fail. We would not have six people capable of deploying if eleven people had not spent the last month forcing one another to improve.” It did not erase the disappointment, but kinda helped.
Hill spoke for the first time. “Selected personnel remain after dismissal. Everyone else returns to quarters.” You glanced toward her. Hill had appeared more often throughout the final weeks, watching from observation rooms, attending security briefings, disappearing again before drills began. You assumed deployment was the reason..it was only partly true.
For three weeks, Hill had been running a second operation beneath the first. The recruits knew nothing about it, because they weren’t supposed to. Once S.H.I.E.L.D. realized Vesper might have been warned about Nightglass from inside the organization, preparing a field team was no longer enough. They needed to find the leak without letting that person know they were being hunted.
Direct surveillance risked exposure. Broad restrictions would tell the mole that S.H.I.E.L.D. suspected something, and interviews were nearly useless against agents trained to control themselves under pressure. So Hill stopped looking for a confession and controlled the information instead. During the second week of accelerated training, the remaining recruits had been split into rotating planning cells under the explanation that command wanted to test compartmentalized mission preparation. Each group received almost identical information about Nightglass.
Almost. The facility was real and vesper was real. The insertion routes were not. One cell was told S.H.I.E.L.D. was considering an abandoned railway tunnel north of the facility. Another received a western drainage route. A third was briefed on an eastern forestry road ending near a disused electrical station. Every route was plausible, but none was genuine. The details were kept off shared servers and printed briefing packets were collected after each session.
Then Hill waited. Forty-one hours after the eastern route was briefed, a surveillance asset watching Vesper reported unusual activity near the electrical station. Two vehicles and a drone sweep. A security team inspecting a road Vesper had ignored for months..There was no reason for them to care about that location unless someone had told them S.H.I.E.L.D. did. Four recruits had received that exact version and Reeves was one.
Hill refused to decide he was guilty simply because the answer was convenient, but she investigated all four. One suspicious login turned out to be a system clock error. Another recruit’s encrypted external messages led only to an undeclared girlfriend. Carter’s credentials had touched the route briefing outside approved hours because an instructor had left a terminal unlocked. That left Reeves.
The selected team remained after everyone else left. Each of you received new compartmentalized credentials tailored to your role. Maya received medical and environmental planning and Lu was assigned communications support and field logistics. Carter received breach architecture, Nguyen surveillance and external movement and Reeves security-response modeling. As Natasha’s deputy, you received considerably more, but not everything.
“Why is the insertion package sealed?” Natasha stood across the table. “Because it isn’t finalized.”
You stared at her for a second before nodding. “Understood.”
Something tightened in her face and Hill noticed. Thirty minutes later, the six of you left and only after the door sealed did Natasha turn toward her. “You’re still using them.”
Hill did not bother denying it. “Yes.”
“The selection announcement was part of the investigation.”
“We needed to know whether the final roster caused movement outside.”
Natasha’s jaw tightened. “They’re not bait.”
“The information is.”
There was a difference, but Natasha still hated it. “Every selected recruit received harmless variations in their digital files: metadata watermarks, timing markers, formatting signatures. If material leaves our network, we may be able to identify which package it came from.”
“And the recruits who weren’t selected?”
“Still monitored. If the mole didn’t make the team, selection may force them to act.”
Fury leaned against the table. “Deadlines make people careless.”
Natasha thought of the arena. Twenty-two recruits inside while automated weapons tore through concrete. “If the leak is connected to what happened there…”
“We’ll know.” Hill said and Natasha wasn’t sure whether she believed her.
Four days after selection, one of Hill’s analysts recovered fragments of the corrupted arena safety update. Most of the malicious code had destroyed itself during the crash, but one fragment survived: a compression wrapper surrounding the command payload. It was unusual because of how ordinary it looked.
Someone had designed it to resemble legitimate system traffic and an analyst remembered seeing the structure before. S.H.I.E.L.D. searched its forensic archive. The same coding pattern had appeared eleven months earlier during a failed attempt to remove data from a logistics terminal.
“Similarity?” Hill asked.
“Ninety-six percent.”
“Could someone have copied it?”
“Possible.”
“Likely?”
“No.”
The arena stopped being an accident, so Hill ordered a second review. This time, they ignored what the malicious package had done and focused on how it entered the system. It had been introduced through a maintenance terminal two levels above the arena seventy three hours before the exercise. Thirty-four people could have reached that corridor during the relevant period and six were recruits..and yet again, Reeves was one of them.
Then they found seven missing minutes in the corridor cameras. The command had been entered using a legitimate engineering supervisor’s credentials while that supervisor was home asleep. Someone had cloned his short range authentication token. That required preparation, technical knowledge and access to S.H.I.E.L.D. hardware.
Hill pulled Reeves’s file again and everything looked normal. Excellent physical scores, average systems training and unremarkable family history, education and travel records. “Reverify his background from zero.”
Her analyst hesitated. “It has already been cleared twice.”
“Do it again.” The first inconsistency appeared in his medical history. A physician had supposedly signed one examination eighteen months after his own death. Then came a school-transfer certificate issued on a Sunday by an office that had never opened weekends. A passport photograph contained metadata older than the camera model listed in the issuance record. None of those details could happen by accident together. Someone had built a life designed to survive government screening long before he ever applied to S.H.I.E.L.D.
That changed everything. He had not been recruited by Vesper after entering the program..He had entered the program already belonging to them. Still, Hill waited, because if she arrested him too early and happened to be wrong, the real mole would disappear. If she was right and Reeves sensed suspicion, people could die. So she needed proof and while she searched for it, Natasha kept placing weapons in his hands.
Friday evening finally brought something resembling relief. After another exhausting week, Natasha ended the last drill at nineteen hundred. The six of you stood in Training Area One with armor half undone and exhaustion visible on every face. Maya had a bruise forming along her jaw, Carter had simply sat down on the floor, Nguyen had stopped pretending he wasn’t starving, Reeves leaned against a barrier drinking water, and Lu lay flat on her back.
“Tomorrow is recovery.” Lu’s head lifted. “What?”
Natasha looked at her. “Would you prefer training?”
“No.”
“Then stop sounding suspicious.”
Lu lowered her head again. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Sunday at eight hundred. Until then, I don’t want to see any of you in a training area.” As Natasha headed toward the door, Lu whispered too loudly, “Dinner at eight?”
Maya groaned. “I need a shower!”
“That’s why I said eight.” Nguyen looked toward Reeves. “South common room?”
“Works.”
Soon even some of the recruits who had not been selected were invited and Natasha stopped before leaving and looked back at all of you. Something about the scene caught her unexpectedly. For months, you had competed for six places, had bruised one another, resented scores and silently measured yourselves against everyone else in the room. Now the people who had not been chosen were making dinner plans with the ones who had. This was what Natasha had wanted from the beginning. A unit people wanted to come home to.
Natasha dismissed the unit and watched you disappear toward the locker rooms together. For one moment, she allowed herself to believe this might actually work, till her phone vibrated.
HILL: COMMAND BRIEFING. 2130. PRIORITY.
Natasha entered Secure Briefing Four at 21:32. Fury and Hayes were already there. Two counterintelligence analysts stood at the far end of the table and Hill remained standing. That was Natasha’s first warning. The second was the screen behind her and four personnel photographs. Reeves was one of them and Natasha’s stomach tightened. “What happened?”
“The eastern-route deception worked. Vesper reacted thirty eight hours after the relevant planning group received the information. Four recruits had access.” Two photographs disappeared as Hill explained how the others had been cleared.
“The arena payload also used a software wrapper previously associated with Vesper. We confirmed the match this afternoon.” Hill changed the screen again. “Reeves had physical access to the corridor where the sabotage entered the system.”
“That still isn’t proof.”
“I know.”
Then his personnel history appeared. “His background is fabricated.” Natasha stared at her. “Not altered?”
“Built. Some records are more than ten years old. Medical history, education, travel. Someone created an identity designed to survive federal screening long before he applied.” Weeks of training rearranged themselves in Natasha’s head.. Reeves’s mistakes..his temper, his willingness to accept correction.. None of it had looked suspicious.
“How certain?”
“Ninety percent before tonight.”
Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “Before?” One of the analysts brought up a hidden directory from Reeves’s training tablet. “We imaged the device during routine synchronization after today’s exercise. He created a concealed partition beneath the training environment and used it to stage outbound packets through S.H.I.E.L.D. maintenance traffic.”
“What was he sending?”
“Most of it is still encrypted, but we recovered fragments.”
Training schedules appeared, arena system identifiers and the final team roster. Natasha saw your name and something violent moved through her chest. “He sent them the team.”
“Two hours after selection.”
The display changed once more and a code appears. “We also found sections matching the arena payload.”
Reeves had sabotaged the arena..he had known the weapons could turn on twenty-one recruits. He had stood beside all of you afterward while Dawson bled and had trained with Maya, laughed with Lu and allowed Natasha to correct him as if he were exactly what he pretended to be..All the while, he belonged to Vesper.
Natasha gripped the edge of the table. “Where is he?”
Hill did not answer immediately and Natasha noticed. “Maria.”
“When we opened the hidden partition, it triggered an integrity monitor. Reeves built a tripwire into the storage layer. External access generated a short encrypted heartbeat to a dead drop.” Fury’s expression hardened. “You sent it?!”
“Automatically. The forensic image triggered it before we identified the monitor..”
Natasha felt cold spread through her. “How long ago?”
“Six minutes.” The room changed instantly. “He knows.”
“At minimum.” Hill said, “he knows someone accessed something that should never have been found.” Hayes moved away from the wall.
“Lock his credentials.”
“No.” Natasha looked at Hill. “If you revoke them now, he knows for certain.”
“We haven’t.”
Fury was already moving toward the door. “Containment?”
“Two teams are entering the residential level without alarm.” Natasha’s mind jumped somewhere else entirely. Friday..recovery day tomorrow. Dinner at eight. Natasha looked at the clock. 21:38 and her face drained of color. “Where are the recruits?” Hill understood immediately and pulled up the internal location system.
A cluster of signals appeared on the residential level and Natasha found yours first. Then Lu, Maya, Carter; Nguyen and only a few meters away..Reeves.
The common-room camera appeared on the screen. A long table was covered in half-finished food, soda bottles and takeaway containers. Selected and unselected recruits crowded around it together. Lu was talking with both hands and Maya was laughing. You sat near the middle of the table, turned slightly toward Carter. Across from you, Reeves looked completely relaxed. He smiled at something Nguyen said and Natasha stared at him. For months, she had watched him fight, she knew how quickly he moved and how strong he was. Now every weakness she had ever seen might have been deliberate. Every weapon she had trained him to use had been placed in the hands of someone who had already known exactly how to kill..
Then Reeves’s phone vibrated, he glanced down and the smile disappeared. His eyes lifted slowly across the table, although you had no idea why, you looked at him and Natasha’s blood turned to ice.
“He knows.” She was already running before anyone answered.
Someone had pushed two tables together and cartons of food covered almost every surface and the loaf of bread Carter had insisted on buying outside the compound was already half gone. All eleven remaining recruits were there. Selected and unselected sat together without anyone caring which side of the final list they had landed on. Tomorrow was recovery day, Natasha had forbidden everyone from entering a training room until Sunday morning and for a few hours there was nothing left to qualify for.
Lu had interpreted that as permission to become unbearable. “I’m just saying!” she announced, pointing a piece of bread at you, “if Romanoff gets injured and you take command, technically everyone has to listen to you.”
“During an operation.” Maya smiled beside you. “She’s going to become insufferable.”
“I’m already sitting here.”
“That has never stopped us.”
You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. It had become easier during the last week. Not around Natasha, never for long, but around everyone else the constant pressure had loosened enough for something almost normal to return. Carter and Nguyen were arguing over which of them had performed worse during resistance training. Peterson, reassigned from the mission team but still finishing the program, insisted Natasha had personally invented half the interrogation exercises because she disliked him. Reeves sat opposite you, laughing while Lu informed him that surviving Nightglass would not absolve him of nearly dislocating your shoulder weeks earlier.
“It was a drill..” Reeves said. “You have been tried and convicted.”
“By what court?” Lu waved toward the table. “This one.”
Reeves shook his head and reached for the bread. A serrated knife lay on the cutting board between the plates. Nobody had thought twice about it, because for the last hour, it had been nothing except a bread knife. Reeves sliced himself another piece and set it down. You looked down at your drink. “Apparently I make excellent decisions under pressure.”
Maya bumped your shoulder. “You deserved it.” The sincerity made you look at her, because Maya never said things because she thought you wanted to hear them. “Thanks..”
Across from you, Reeves’s phone vibrated and nobody topped talking. He glanced down with half a smile still on his face..till the smile disappeared. His thumb moved across the screen before he placed the phone facedown beside his plate and Carter reached across him for a bottle. “Everything good?”
“Yeah.” Reeves looked toward the common-room entrance and then the emergency door beside the kitchenette. Then back at his phone. “Reeves?” His eyes met yours and something had changed. You stood and Maya noticed immediately. “What?”
Reeves moved first and grabbed the edge of the nearest table and shoved. The entire thing slammed sideways with enough force to send plates, bottles and food crashing onto the floor. Peterson and Carter stumbled backward as the table struck them and for one confused second everyone shouted at once. Reeves used it and reached the kitchenette. His hand closed around the bread knife and you understood instantly. “Knife!”
The room changed and training took over, but the space worked against you. Too many people, too much furniture, half the room blocked by the overturned table. Reeves wasn’t coming toward anyone, he was heading for the emergency exit. Nguyen reached him first and grabbed his wrist, but Reeves slashed without hesitation. The blade opened Nguyen’s forearm and he swore and lost his grip. Peterson caught Reeves around the waist while Carter hit him from the other side, driving him into the counter hard enough to rattle the cabinets.
For a second, it looked finished..three trained agents had him pinned and his knife arm was trapped. Then someone shouted about Nguyen’s bleeding and Lu moved toward him. Two recruits dragged the fallen table away to clear space and everyone’s attention divided. That was all Reeves needed. He drove his heel into Peterson’s foot and snapped his head backward into Carter’s face. Carter stumbled away with blood pouring from his nose. Peterson held on until Reeves slashed across his shoulder and forced him loose.
You and Maya reached him together and you hit Reeves from the blind side and drove him back into the counter. Maya caught his knife wrist with both hands while you locked his free arm behind him. “Drop it!”
Reeves strained against you, Carter recovered and came back. There was nowhere for him to go and Reeves seemed to understand it too. He stopped fighting for half a second, but then he threw his weight backward, exactly the movement you expected. You adjusted, but he reversed instantly. The sudden change pulled you half a step forward and Maya stayed attached to his wrist. Reeves turned sharply between you and the knife moved. Everything stopped and you didn’t understand until she released him. Reeves pulled the blade free from beneath her ribs and blood shone along the metal. “Maya?”
She looked down and her expression went strangely blank, as if her brain couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing. Then her knees folded and you caught her before her head struck the floor. “No. No, no-”
Blood spread rapidly beneath your hands and Lu dropped beside you. “Pressure!” you said. “Here. Press here!” Lu immediately replaced your hands with hers and Maya made a small, broken sound. “I know..” Lu whispered. “I’ve got you.”
Behind you, Reeves ran again. Carter and Peterson intercepted him before he reached the door. Carter caught him high around the shoulders while Peterson went for the knife arm. Even Nguyen, one hand clamped over his bleeding forearm, kicked Reeves behind the knee and he hit the floor and the knife skidded away.
You should have stayed beside Maya..but you stood. “Y/N!” Lu’s voice barely reached you. Reeves was on one knee, Carter trying to force him flat while Peterson reached for the knife. You crossed the distance before anyone could stop you and fist struck Reeves across the mouth. His head snapped sideways and Carter shouted something, but you grabbed Reeves by the front of his shirt. “You did this!” Blood ran from Reeves’s lip, but smiled.
“Why did you do this?!”
“Y/N, back up!”
Carter reached for you and that was the mistake. Three bodies shifted at once and Reeves twisted beneath Carter, shoved him into you and reached blindly across the floor. His fingers closed around the knife and you saw it too late. The blade entered your lower side and at first there was no pain, just pressure pressure. You looked down and Reeves ripped the knife free. You stumbled backward, one hand immediately covering the wound. Carter hit Reeves again and Peterson caught his wrist, but you barely heard any of it.
“Maya…” You turned and she was still on the floor. You tried to take a step toward her and nearly collapsed. Reeves had stopped trying to reach the doors, maybe because he finally understood there was nowhere left to run and escape had stopped mattering. His eyes found you and he moved. He was coming toward you with the knife and you body tried to react, but wasn’t fast enough. You backed into the edge of the table and pain exploded through your side. Your knees hit the floor and Reeves reached you.
Then the common-room door opened, but you barely registered it. Natasha entered first with her weapon already raised and saw Reeves standing over you with the knife in his hand and fired once. The shot cracked through the room and Reeves jerked and collapsed sideways. Containment agents flooded the room behind Natasha and someone pulled Reeves away and others shouted for medical teams and began separating everyone from the scene. You barely heard them and looked down.
Blood covered your palm. It ran between your fingers and soaked through your shirt. When you shifted, you felt warmth beneath you. You knew enough medicine to understand what that meant. “No…”
You had spent months learning what bullets did to bodies, what knives did, how quickly blood loss could turn somebody from conscious to confused to dead. Natasha had made all of you practice treating wounds until your hands moved without thought.
But knowing did absolutely nothing to stop the terror. Another hot rush spread beneath you and your eyes widened. There was blood underneath you now, you could feel it soaking through your shirt, warm against your skin before cooling against the floor beneath your hip. A broken sound escaped you, because you wanted your mother. The thought appeared without warning and nearly destroyed you..suddenly you were six years old again and terrified and there was blood everywhere and you wanted your mother. Your eyes burned, but you couldn’t cry. Crying meant breathing wrong..breathing wrong meant- “Y/N!”
Your head lifted and relief hit so hard it almost hurt more. She crossed the room and dropped to her knees in front of you. “Hey. Look at me.”
Her hands moved over your shoulders and face, checking for injuries she couldn’t yet see. “I’m here.”
You swallowed shakily. “Nat…”
“I know. I’ve got you.”
Then Natasha saw the blood and her eyes dropped to your hand, your shirt, the dark red spreading beneath you. For one terrible second, she froze. “Okay.” she said, though her voice had changed. “I need to see the wound.”
You curled tighter around yourself. “No..”
“Y/n. I need to see where he got you.”
“It hurts.”
“I know.” She reached carefully toward your hand and you flinched. “Look at me. I’m not going to hurt you more than I have to.”
Your eyes filled. “I don’t want you to move it..” You stared at her, terrified, but then slowly let her move your hand and Natasha saw the wound. You searched her expression and you knew..Natasha tore off her jacket and folded it quickly, the second you understood what she intended to do, panic flashed through you. “No!”
“I have to put pressure on it.”
“W-Wait.”
“I’m sorry.”
She pressed the jacket against your side and you screamed. “Medic!” Natasha shouted over her shoulder. “Now!” Then her attention snapped back to you. “Y/n, look at me.”
Your vision had started to blur. “Look at me.”
“I am.”
“No. Stay with me.” Her hands were covered in your blood and you looked down. Natasha caught it immediately. “Don’t look at that.”
“I’m tired.” Fear flashed across her face. “No.”
“Nat…”
“No. Stay awake, please..“
Your eyelids fluttered and Natasha shifted closer. “Y/n.” You forced them open again. “Good. Stay with me.” But your eyes closed again and Natasha tapped your cheek. You really tried, but everything felt unbearably heavy now. The ceiling tilted somewhere above Natasha’s head and you could feel her hand tightened around yours. “Y/n!” But your body had already made the decision for you and everything went black.
Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Age gap (N=34, r=23), backround story, parents loss, violence, kinda Enemy to lover
Word count: 13,2k
A/N: Second chapter and we’re getting serious..I really enjoyed writing this one, especially because I somehow traveled back to my Wattpad writing era with it.. So, I hope you enjoy :))
Part 1
At 0648 the following morning, the twenty two of you stood outside the tactical arena in full gear. Yesterday’s excitement had evaporated and the weapons in your hands were technically harmless, but the weight of them made everything feel different. Protective vests covered your torsos, sensor bands rested around wrists and marking rounds filled magazines that could leave bruises for days.
Lu rolled her neck. “I would like to formally apologize for being excited about this.” And Maya checked the fastening on her gloves. “Apology rejected.”
You adjusted your earpiece and stared toward the reinforced doors ahead. Your stomach had been tight since waking and you barely touched breakfast. The worst part was knowing everyone else could probably tell. Natasha arrived at 0655 and the conversation died instantly. She walked down the line, checking equipment with the attention of someone who had done this for real often enough to know what tiny failures could cost. When she reached you, she examined your vest, weapon, radio and protective collar in silence. You tried not to react, but her fingers caught the edge of one fastening. “Loose.”
You looked down and before you could adjust it, Natasha tightened it herself with one sharp pull. Your breath caught, more from surprise than anything else. “Don’t give a marking round space to get under the plate.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Natasha moved to the front. “The rules haven’t changed since yesterday. Your objective is the drive and your priority is completing the operation as a functioning unit. Simulated injuries will be introduced throughout the exercise. Treat them as real unless you receive an explicit override.”
She looked directly at you. “You are responsible for adapting when the situation changes. Not for being perfect.” That almost sounded suspiciously like reassurance. Then Natasha added, “Perfect would be nice, though.”
Lu coughed into her fist and your mouth twitched despite yourself. Natasha saw it and something in her expression softened for half a heartbeat before it disappeared. She checked the clock. “Ten seconds.”
You looked at the people behind you. Two months ago, most of you had been strangers. Now you knew who moved too quickly when nervous, who needed a second command before reacting, who could shoot better left handed and who became reckless when angry and who froze if too many voices entered the comms at once. They all looked back at you. “Stay tight. We follow the plan until the plan stops making sense.”
The doors opened and the team disappeared inside. For the first twenty minutes, it worked. The first hostile patrol forced you away from the planned approach earlier than expected but Maya found another route. Lu spotted a second team before they managed to flank you and one recruit took a marking round to the shoulder but remained operational.
The entire time, Natasha watched from the observation level with several instructors and technicians around her. Every corridor was covered by cameras, every recruit had location tracking and their comms fed through the control room. Natasha watched you more than anyone else, she told herself that was because you were in command. It was even partly true. You weren’t the loudest leader, Natasha had expected you might be, but pressure seemed to compress you. Your instructions shortened and you listened when someone gave you information rather than immediately defending your own plan.
At one point, Maya challenged your route and you changed it. At another, two agents moved too quickly down a corridor and you stopped the entire formation rather than allowing the gap to widen. Then Natasha introduced the first significant complication. “Give Bennett casualty status.”
The instructor beside her entered the command and inside the arena, Lu’s vest vibrated sharply before one side lit red. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me..”
You turned. “What?”
Lu looked up. “I’m hit.”
The system voice came through everyone’s earpieces. “Agent Bennett: simulated abdominal injury and limited mobility. Continued movement without assistance results in casualty status.” Lu looked toward the nearest camera with betrayal written across her face and you were already moving. “How bad?”
“Apparently fake me has been shot somewhere inconvenient.”
“Can you put weight on both legs?”
“Yeah.”
You looked at the map on your wrist, then at the clock. The server room was still two levels down, that’s means sending Lu back would cost manpower and time. Keeping her with you would slow the entire unit..You made the decision within seconds. “Patel, Reeves, you’re taking her to the last secure checkpoint. Medical extraction will remove her from there. After handoff, you rejoin us through route Charlie.”
The two boys nodded and Lu gave you a look. “You’re losing three people.”
“Temporarily.”
“You know you can leave simulated casualties.”
You glanced at her. “You’re very annoying for an almost dead person.”
In the observation room, Natasha said nothing. But she watched closely, because this was what she had wanted: the uncomfortable mathematics of command and you had accepted losing operational strength to preserve one member of the unit, but you had done it without destroying the mission.
Then another instructor entered the command channel. “Team Leader, mission clock is now critical. Proceed with reduced unit and not delay for casualty reintegration.”
You looked toward the nearest camera. “Copy.”
No argument and Natasha leaned back slightly. Interesting. Your parents would probably have left Lu in place with a beacon and continued with the entire team. They had been trained in an older version of S.H.I.E.L.D., one built on brutal arithmetic, but you had chosen differently. A realization brushed against Natasha’s mind, but there was no time to examine it and your team continued. At minute thirty three, you reached the server level and the operation became harder almost immediately. Two hostile teams converged from opposite directions ans you were forced into a maintenance corridor you had specifically rejected during planning. One recruit lost their weapon after being struck in the hand and another took enough simulated damage to become non operational.
Still, you kept moving. The data drive was retrieved at minute thirty seven, so, technically, the objective had been achieved. Now you just had to get everyone out and Natasha glanced toward the main monitor. The team was performing better than expected..you were performing better than expected and she hated how proud that made her. Then a warning appeared across one of the technician’s screens. “What?”
“Probably nothing.”
Her eyes moved to him and he reconsidered the sentence. “Sensor fault in sector seven.”
“Which system?”
“Automated opposition.”
Another warning appeared, then three and the technician’s face changed. Natasha stepped closer. “Shut down sector seven.”
His hands moved across the console. Inside the arena, the first automated training weapon fired when it wasn’t supposed to. One round struck the wall and then another. A recruit ducked instinctively and you stopped. “That wasn’t part of the pattern?”
Maya looked toward the weapon mounted above the corridor. “No.”
It fired again and every automated weapon in the sector activated at once. The sound ripped through the facility and rounds hammered against walls, metal railings and protective barriers. A stream of marking ammunition tore across the corridor without target discrimination. “DOWN!”
You shoved the recruit beside you behind cover and someone screamed. In the observation room, alarms exploded across the screens. “Kill the system!” Natasha snapped. “We’re trying!”
“Don’t try, shut it down!!”
“The fire control program isn’t taking commands..”
“Emergency power is holding the arena systems online.”
“Override it.”
“Romanoff-”
“Override it!”
Inside, rounds kept coming. They were training ammunition, yes, but they had never been designed to fire continuously into people at close range. Protective equipment reduced the impact, it did not make anyone invincible. Maya cried out when a round caught the outside of her thigh and another recruit dropped after being struck in the ribs. Somebody’s face hit the edge of a concrete barrier while diving for cover and blood immediately appeared above his eyebrow.
This wasn’t an exercise anymore, you and everyone knew it. Then Natasha’s voice came through the comms. “All teams, abort. Repeat, exercise aborted. Evacuate immediately!”
Relief almost hit you, but then you looked around and three people were on the ground. One could move, but two couldn’t. “Romanoff, we have casualties.”
“I see them.” Natasha was standing over the tactical display now, watching emergency teams assemble at the arena’s outer access points. S.H.I.E.L.D. had protocols for this exact kind of failure, people equipped to enter a malfunctioning environment without creating more bodies for someone else to retrieve. Natasha pressed the command channel. “Everyone who is mobile evacuates through northern access immediately. Emergency response is entering from sectors two and five to recover casualties.”
You looked toward Maya and she was pale, one hand clamped over her thigh. The marking round had split skin where her protective gear ended. Dawson was farther down, barely responsive after hitting his head. The last one was trapped behind a barrier with an injured arm while uncontrolled fire chewed through the wall above him. “How long until response gets here?”
Natasha looked toward the technician. “Four minutes to deployment.” he said and Natasha relayed it. “Response team enters in four minutes. Get everyone who can move out now.”
Four minutes..you stared at Dawson, he was lying partially exposed and another round struck the floor less than a meter from him. “That’s too long..”
Natasha heard you. “Y/l/n, you are not equipped to perform an extraction under a malfunctioning fire system.”
“He’s exposed?!”
“I can see that.”
“So can the guns!”
“They’re not targeting him. They’re firing randomly.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?” Natasha’s jaw tightened. “Move the mobile team to north access. Response will take the wounded.”
Another burst rattled through the corridor and Dawson twitched. Something inside you clenched. “No.” There was a small pause and Natasha stared at your camera feed. “What did you say?”
You looked around at your team and they were frightened now..no simulated fear or the adrenaline Natasha had deliberately forced into drills. It was real fear and they were looking at you because Natasha had put you in charge. “I said no.”
One of the instructors looked sharply at Natasha and her voice became colder. “Y/l/n, this is no longer a tactical exercise. This is an emergency order! Evacuate everyone capable of moving, the rescue teams will retrieve the injured.”
You pressed your back tighter against cover as another series of rounds hit overhead. “They won’t reach Dawson before he gets hit again!”
“You don’t know that.”
“And neither do you!”
Silence spread through the observation room and Natasha’s hand tightened around the edge of the console. “Response is less than three minutes away.”
“He might not have three minutes..”
“Your team is not carrying the equipment to do this safely.”
“Then we’ll do it quickly.”
“Y/n.” You heard something in her voice, but it wasn’t anger, it was somehing else, but you didn’t have enough room inside your head to recognize it. “Move your people out.” Natasha said. “Now.”
You looked toward Dawson again while blood ran along his temple and Maya was struggling to sit upright. Behind you, someone whispered, “What do we do?” And that decided it..You breathed once and looked at your unit. “Carter, Nguyen, take everyone who can walk and move them toward northern access.”
The recruit stared at you. “What about you?”
“I’m getting Dawson.”
Maya immediately shook her head. “Y/n-”
“Reeves stays with me. Two person extraction.”
Natasha heard every word and her expression changed. “No!” You ignored her. “Carter, once you reach the junction, send two back with the collapsible shield from the breach kit.”
“Y/n, stop!” You closed your eyes because comms were too much. Natasha’s voice, instructors talking behind it and your people asking questions. You needed to think, so you reached for your radio and Natasha saw your hand move on camera. “Don’t-” Your fingers switched the command channel off and the instructor feed disappeared from your earpiece. Only the local team frequency remained.
The control room went silent and everyone looked at Natasha. She stared at the indicator beside your name. Command channel disabled. For a second, she didn’t understand what she was seeing. Then fury ripped through her so violently it almost cleared her mind. “She cut me off.”
The technician swallowed. “She..switched to local squad frequency.”
“Override it!”
“We can’t. Local channel is independent during system failures.” Natasha stared at your feed while you were moving back toward Dawson. Her stomach dropped and suddenly the sound from the arena was not the arena anymore and rain hammered against metal. Nat, we’re pinned on the east side-
Natasha stopped breathing and another burst of static and your father’s voice in the background. Then gunfire..too much gunfire and a command in Natasha’s own ear telling her the objective came first. Telling her extraction was inbound. Telling her not to go back and she had listened. She had followed the order and by the time she returned- “No..” The word escaped before she knew she’d spoken. One of the instructors stepped toward her. “Natasha?”
She was already moving. “Romanoff, the response team is entering!”
Natasha grabbed the tactical vest hanging beside the door. “Then they can meet me inside.”
“N-Natasha-” She shoved the door open. “Get the fucking system down!” Then she was gone.
Inside the arena, you had no idea Natasha was coming, you definitely had other problems.The smoke system had activated during the malfunction, spilling thick white fog through the lower corridors until visibility dropped to a few meters. The uncontrolled fire had become less constant, but that almost made it worse. You couldn’t anticipate it anymore, but found Dawson behind the barrier. His eyes opened when you touched his shoulder. “Hey. Stay with me.”
Reeves crouched beside you. “We need to move him.”
“I know.” A burst cracked overhead and both of you dropped lower. You grabbed Dawson’s vest. “On three.”
You hauled him backward into cover and his head rolled against your shoulder. “God..”
“He’s breathing, it’s okay.”
“I know he’s breathing!” Your hands shook but clenched them- Think..You were supposed to think! That was all Natasha had demanded from you for two months, then two recruits returned carrying the collapsible ballistic training shield from the breach equipment. It wasn’t designed for this exact situation, but it could absorb enough marking rounds to create cover.
Good. You repositioned the team and maya was moved first, then the recruit with the injured arm and then Dawson. Nobody argued anymore, they just simply followed and at some point, perhaps without you realizing, the panic shifted and everyone trusted the plan and trusted you.
“Stay low. Reeves, left side. Carter, don’t outrun the shield. If it moves, you move. If it stops, you stop. Nobody plays hero.”
Natasha reached the arena entrance just as the first group came out. Lu was there from the earlier simulated extraction, now standing beside the medical staging area with her fake casualty status deactivated. She looked toward Natasha and went still. “Where is Y/l/n?”
Lu’s expression changed. “She was with-”
“Where?”
“Inside..” Natasha swore and a second group appeared through the smoke. Maya came between them, supported under both arms and real blood ran down her leg. Natasha moved forward automatically. “Hey.”
Maya’s eyes found her. “She stayed for Dawson..”
Natasha’s face hardened. “Of course she did.”
Personnel moved in and Maya caught Natasha’s wrist before she could turn. “She’s getting them out..”
Natasha looked down at her. “She should have gotten herself out.”
“But-” Natasha pulled away before Maya could finish and another recruit emerged. Natasha counted every one: Fifteen, seventeen..nineteen…twenty. Dawson appeared next, carried between Reeves and Carter and Natasha’s lungs finally opened when she saw you. You came through the smoke behind them, half walking, half stumbling, your weapon hanging uselessly against your chest. Dust covered your uniform and someone else’s blood streaked your sleeve. Relief hit Natasha so violently it turned immediately into rage. “Y/l/n!”
Your head snapped up and every recruit in the staging area went still. Natasha crossed the distance between you before you had properly processed that she was there. “What the hell were you thinking!!?”
Your breathing was still uneven. “Romanoff-”
“I gave you a direct emergency order!”
You blinked, stunned by the force of her voice, but then exhaustion and adrenaline collided somewhere inside you. “The others were still in there..”
“I know exactly where they were!”
“You told me to leave them!”
“I told you to evacuate everyone who could move because a trained emergency unit was already being deployed!”
“They weren’t there!”
“They were two minutes away!”
“Dawson couldn’t wait two minutes!”
“You don’t know that!”
“I was standing next to him!”
Natasha stopped inches from you. “And you think that gave you more information than the entire control room?”
“I think it gave me more information about the man bleeding on the floor in front of me!”
Several people nearby looked away and Natasha’s jaw tightened. “You cut command communications during an active emergency.”
“I couldn’t think with six people screaming in my ear!”
“One of those people was your commanding officer!”
“Yes, I NOTICED!” The words came out louder than you intended…way too loud and you realised it. So did everyone else and God, Natasha’s eyes changed. You knew that look..you had seen people reduced to silence by that look and usually worked on you too. But today? Today, something inside you was too raw to care. Natasha lowered her voice, which somehow made her more frightening. “You will think very carefully about how you speak to me.”
Your chest rose and fell and for one second you tried, you really did, but then behind Natasha you saw Dawson being placed onto a stretcher, blood dried along his temple while a medic checked his responsiveness and the last restraint inside you broke. “No.”
Natasha went completely still and you heard Lu inhale somewhere behind you. “No?” Natasha repeated.
“No.” Your voice shook, but you didn’t lower it. “Not this time.” A dangerous quiet settled between you. “You’ve spent two months telling us to adapt when orders and plans don’t match what’s happening in the field. You spent two months drilling it into us that we’re a unit, that we don’t leave people because they’re inconvenient, that the person beside us is our responsibility and then the second this stopped being an exercise, you expected me to walk out while three of them were lying in there?”
“I expected you to follow emergency protocol.”
“While Dawson was getting shot at?”
“While an armored response team prepared to enter!”
“They weren’t there yet!”
“That does not make you the rescue team!”
“I was already there!”
“And that is exactly the problem!” Natasha’s voice cracked across the room and you flinched, many flinched and Natasha stepped closer. “You were already inside a failing system with weapons we could not control. You had no information about whether the malfunction could spread, whether doors would lock, whether the ammunition feeds would overload or whether the entire arena would lose power. Every second you stayed, I had another person I might have to send somebody else inside to rescue!”
You stared at her. “And every second I left them there was another second they were getting hurt!”
“You cannot save everyone!” The sentence left Natasha before she could stop it and something moved across her face. You saw it, but because you were exhausted and angry and hurting and had spent two months trying to understand why this woman seemed to hate you more personally than she hated anyone else, you pushed. “So that’s it?”
Natasha’s expression hardened. “Don’t.”
“That’s what this has been about?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No, I don’t!” You laughed once, “Because you never tell me anything!”
“Y/n-”
“You just stand there every day waiting for me to screw something up!”
“That is not what I do.”
“Really!?” Your voice rose again. “Because it sure as hell feels like it!”
Natasha stared at you and you should have stopped. Every instinct trained into you since joining S.H.I.E.L.D. screamed that you had crossed the line ten sentences ago, but you since couldn’t..“Everyone else gets corrected and moves on. I get watched. Every drill, every mistake, every fucking breath. I do something right and you find the one thing I did wrong. I fix that and you find something else. I stay late, I train harder, I do everything you ask me to do and it is never enough for you!”
Natasha felt every sentence hit somewhere it shouldn’t. Around you, no one moved and your eyes burned now. You hated it..You would rather have taken another dozen marking rounds than cry in front of Natasha Romanoff. “And then you put me in charge of everyone. You tell them my decisions stand, tell me to adapt when things change, tell me I’m responsible for bringing a functioning unit home and the first time I actually make a decision you wouldn’t have made, you come down here screaming at me like I’ve proven whatever the hell you’ve been waiting two months for me to prove!”
Natasha opened her mouth, but nothing came out, because there it was..The truth, stripped of every excuse she had hidden behind. She had been watching you..had been waiting, but not for you to fail and for history to repeat itself. For the smallest sign that your mother’s recklessness lived in you, or your father’s fatal loyalty, or some combination of both that would carry you toward the same ending. She had called it training because admitting the truth would have required admitting she was afraid.
And now you were standing in front of her, covered in smoke and blood, furious because Natasha had punished you for a history you didn’t even know belonged to her. “You were responsible for the whole unit.” Natasha said, but there was less force behind the words now.
Your voice broke and you hated yourself for it. “What kind of leader..walks away when their people are still lying on the ground?”
“One who understands that sometimes staying creates more casualties.”
“And what kind of agent am I supposed to be if I can hear someone calling for help and decide they’re someone else’s problem?”
That hit. Natasha looked at you and for half a second didn’t see the arena, but she saw rain again. Your mother bleeding against a wall and your father refusing extraction because she couldn’t move. Two agents who had spent their lives believing the mission mattered more than themselves. Two people who would have followed the order Natasha had given you today. They would have evacuated the mobile team. They would have trusted the rescue unit. They would have swallowed the cost because that was what agents did and they would have expected Natasha to do the same.
You hadn’t. You had assessed the order because you seen the people in front of you and decided the protocol no longer matched what the situation required. You were not them, how had Natasha missed something so obvious? You had your mother’s eyes, but the anger inside them belonged entirely to you. You carried your father’s stubbornness, but not his blind faith in command. Even standing there challenging Natasha in front of half the training division was something neither of your parents would have done. They had respected hierarchy too much, but you apparently respected it exactly until you decided it had become stupid. Under any other circumstances, Natasha might have found that almost funny. Right now, it terrified her. She had spent two months trying to prepare you for a death that belonged to other people. And somewhere along the way, she had forgotten to let you become yourself.
You looked at her breathing hard and slowly the reality of what you were doing began penetrating the adrenaline. Your eyes moved briefly around the staging area and Lu stood near the wall looking horrified. Maya sat on a medical cot with her leg wrapped, staring at you like she wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or terrified on your behalf.
Two instructors had stopped speaking entirely and you looked back toward Natasha. Oh God.. You had just screamed at Natasha Romanoff. Repeatedly and in front of everyone. Your anger collapsed beneath sudden horror. “I…”
Natasha saw it immediately. The way your shoulders changed and the first flicker of fear replacing fury. Part of her expected you to apologise, another part of her knew that if you did, she wouldn’t know what to do with it. Before either of you could speak, Instructor Hayes came through the staging doors and took one look at you, one look at Natasha and apparently decided he wanted absolutely no information about what he had just interrupted. “Enough.”
Neither of you moved and Hayes stepped farther inside. “The arena is offline. Engineering has control of the weapon system and nobody is going back in until I personally see a report explaining what failed.” His eyes moved across the injured recruits. “Medical is evaluating everyone who was inside after the malfunction. Three people need imaging, nobody appears critical.”
The sentence loosened something in Natasha’s chest and Hayes looked toward Natasha. “They’ve had enough.”
Natasha’s gaze returned to you and you looked exhausted now that the anger was fading. “Yes.”
The word came out rougher than she intended. “Everyone reports to medical. Full evaluation, whether you were hit or not.” There were several quiet acknowledgments. “After that, you’re done for the day.”
Recruits started moving but you remained where you were and Natasha did too. For a moment, the room seemed to empty around the two of you. “Medical.”
You swallowed and the anger between you had not disappeared and neither had hers. You had disobeyed an emergency order, cut command communications and had endangered yourself after being explicitly told to evacuate. There would have to be consequences and she knew that. Yet underneath every justified ounce of anger was the fact that the moment your signal had disappeared, Natasha had become absolutely certain she was about to lose you and she could not let you see that.
“Yes, ma’am..” you said quietly and turned. You took several steps and then stopped. Natasha waited, and you didn’t turn around, but said, “I still think I made the right call.”
For one second Natasha merely stared at your back. “Medical, Y/l/n.”
Only after you disappeared behind the dividing doors did Natasha breathe properly and remained beside her. “That went well.”
Natasha turned her head slowly and he raised both hands. “Not a word.” His expression became more serious. “The kid wasn’t wrong.”
Natasha looked toward the doors you’d gone through. “No.” Hayes studied her. “You weren’t either.” That was the problem and Natasha exhaled. Emergency protocol existed for a reason. If every half-trained recruit ignored evacuation because they believed they knew better, people died. You had been lucky. Skilled, decisive and right about Dawson’s immediate danger, yes, but luck had still been part of it. And Natasha had been right to order you out, but you had also gotten everyone out before the rescue unit reached the lower level.
“She cut her comm.” Natasha said and Hayes nodded. “That part was idiotic.”
“She went back into active fire.”
“Also idiotic.”
“She refused a direct emergency order.”
“Very loudly.”
Natasha looked at him and Hayes stopped. Then, carefully, he added, “She also reorganized nineteen panicking recruits under uncontrolled fire, improvised mobile cover, extracted three casualties and got every person in that arena through the door alive.”
Minutes later, her office door slammed behind her hard enough to shake the glass. Natasha dropped the tablet onto her desk and paced once toward the window before turning back. Your mother’s voice suddenly in her head again, then your voice replacing it. They’re not here yet.
Natasha shut her eyes. “Fuck.” She pressed both hands against the desk. You had disobeyed her..Tomorrow, when everyone had slept and the medics had finished checking the injured, she would deal with it properly. You needed to understand that command decisions did not exist in isolation. You needed to understand that sometimes the correct choice was the one that felt unbearable. You needed to understand that cutting communication because you disliked an order could get an entire team killed.
But she also needed to understand something herself. She had been too hard on you and that admission tasted terrible. Natasha lowered herself into the chair and opened the exercise footage.
——
Several hours passed before the remaining recruits were called back into the briefing room. By then, the arena had been completely shut down and engineers teams had taken over the lower levels, medical had cleared everyone involved in the malfunction and the first reports had begun circulating between instructors. No one had suffered anything worse than bruising, cuts, a mild concussion and Maya’s thigh injury, which looked significantly more dramatic than it actually was now that it had been cleaned and bandaged.
The relief of knowing everyone was fine should have made you feel better, but it didn’t. Because at 16:30, while you were sitting on the edge of your bed replaying every catastrophic decision you had made that morning, the message had arrived.
All active recruits report to Briefing Room Three. Full operational review. Attendance mandatory.
“You know, if she kills you, can I have your jacket?”
“Lu.”
“What? It fits me.”
Maya stood carefully, testing her injured leg. “She isn’t going to kill you…but I would apologize.”
“I know.” You had been thinking about that part for hours. The anger had made perfect sense while you were inside the arena. Even immediately afterward, standing in smoke with your pulse somewhere around your throat, every word had felt justified. Now? Now you remembered Natasha’s face when you’d said no. Twice.
You remembered telling your commanding officer that she wasn’t listening. You remembered shouting at her in front of recruits, instructors and half the medical division and the worst part was that beneath the embarrassment, you still believed what you had said. Maybe not how you had said it. But the substance? Yes, you would make the same choice again. That realization did absolutely nothing for your nerves. “Come on.” Maya said and you stood.
You reached Briefing Room Three and saw Natasha already waiting at the front. She had spent most of the afternoon watching the same forty seven minutes from different angles. She had watched the simulation before the malfunction twice and the emergency portion four times. After that came discussions with Hayes, two tactical instructors, medical, arena security and the engineering supervisor who had looked progressively more uncomfortable as Natasha questioned how an automated weapons system had managed to lock command staff out of its own controls.
The final explanation was technical. A software conflict between the adaptive opposition program and a corrupted safety update had sent several automated units into an uncontrolled firing loop. The emergency shutdown should have overridden it, but it hadn’t. Maya lowered herself into a chair carefully. Dawson sat two rows ahead with a small dressing at his temple, looking significantly better than he had while unconscious on the arena floor. You took your usual place between Lu and Maya and the door closed.
“The medical team has cleared everyone involved in this morning’s incident.”
A visible easing passed through the room despite the fact that most of them already knew. “Engineering has also confirmed that the malfunction was caused by an internal systems failure. None of your actions before the failure triggered it.” Natasha let that settle. “The exercise was intended to test operational readiness under controlled pressure. What happened during the final portion was not controlled, which means we’re reviewing the two parts separately.”
You shifted slightly..Here it comes. Natasha’s eyes swept over the room. “Before the malfunction, you completed the primary objective in thirty seven minutes. The expected range was forty to forty five.”
Several recruits exchanged glances and Natasha continued before anyone could become too pleased. “You also made enough unnecessary noise entering the lower level that a deaf security team would’ve known you were coming.” The room deflated. “Your first breach was sloppy. Your rear formation collapsed twice during the second engagement, and at least four of you seem to believe cover is an optional suggestion.”
Her gaze landed on one recruit. “Peterson.” He straightened. “If someone fires at you, your first response should not be to stand in the middle of the corridor and determine where it came from.”
A few mouths twitched and Peterson looked miserable. “Yes, ma’am..”
“You corrected it later. Your positioning during the server room engagement was significantly better. Keep that version.”
Natasha moved through the team one by one. She didn’t praise easily, even now, every compliment arrived attached to something that needed improvement. Then Natasha reached the system failure and the atmosphere changed again. She placed the tablet on the table behind her. “What happened after the malfunction was not part of your assessment. However, it gave us more useful information about this unit than the simulation did.”
Nobody wrote now and just listened. “When the weapons systems failed, you had no preparation for it. Your instructions changed immediately. Several people were genuinely injured and communication became unreliable and visibility dropped.” Natasha looked toward Maya. “You continued giving navigational information while injured.”
Then Natasha’s gaze reached you and your stomach tightened so violently it almost hurt. You placed your pen carefully on the table because suddenly you didn’t trust your fingers not to drop it. Natasha looked at you for a long moment. “Y/l/n.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Your voice sounded normal and Natasha folded her hands behind her back. “As team leader, you were responsible for twenty one other recruits.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You were given a direct emergency evacuation order.”
“Yes.”
“You refused it.”
“Yes..”
“You then disabled command communications.”
Your mouth went dry and Lu stared straight ahead beside you. You could practically feel her trying not to breathe too loudly and Natasha’s expression remained unreadable. “Cutting your command channel was unacceptable.”
There it was. “You deprived yourself of information that could have become essential seconds later. Had conditions changed again, we would have had no reliable way to reach you.”
You nodded. “I understand..”
“Do you?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Don’t ever do it again.”
“I won’t.” Natasha held your gaze and you waited for the rest. For the official reprimand or removal from leadership. Maybe removal from the program entirely. Instead Natasha drew a quiet breath. “The decision you made before that was different.”
You frowned slightly and Natasha’s eyes stayed on you. “I reviewed the footage. All of it. Dawson’s position was deteriorating. The response team was still approximately ninety seconds from reaching his sector, and the automated fire was crossing his position repeatedly.”
Dawson looked toward you from the front row and Natasha continued. “You had mobile cover available, enough operational personnel to perform the extraction and a route that reduced exposure.”
You weren’t sure where this was going anymore, but Natasha did. She had rehearsed the sentence twice in her office and it still felt strange saying it. “You made the correct call.” You stared at her. Natasha Romanoff had just said what??
Natasha continued before you could react. “Your refusal to abandon the casualties was tactically defensible based on the information available to you inside the arena.” You blinked. “And..” Natasha added, “I should have trusted your assessment.”
Nobody moved, nobody even pretended to write. Lu’s face had gone completely blank with the enormous effort required not to look at you and Maya’s eyebrows had climbed approximately halfway toward her hairline. Natasha knew exactly what the room was thinking and ignored all of them. Her attention stayed on you. “I gave you command because I wanted to see whether you could make decisions when the plan failed. When that happened for real, I attempted to take that decision away from you.”
Something strange moved through your chest and Natasha paused. “That was my mistake.”
Oh, Jesus Christ. You were fairly certain half the room had just stopped breathing and Natasha Romanoff admitting a mistake was apparently more shocking than being shot at.
“I was wrong.” Natasha looked almost annoyed by how stunned everyone appeared. “And I owe you an apology for that.”
Everyone in that room just stared and an instructor standing near the wall suddenly found the ceiling extremely interesting. Natasha Romanoff had just apologized to you. In public. You could feel something warm and ridiculous expanding inside your chest. Pride..pure unbearable pride. You wanted to bottle the sentence, no, frame it! Have it engraved somewhere, but Natasha wasn’t finished. “However.” There she was and your pride immediately sat down. “If you ever speak to me the way you did outside that arena again, I strongly recommend you have an excellent reason.”
A few recruits lowered their heads to hide smiles and Natasha stepped slightly closer. “Stress is not permission to lose discipline. Anger is not permission to forget who you’re speaking to.”
You swallowed. “Yes, ma’am, I-”
“If you disagree with me, disagree. If you believe an order is tactically wrong, tell me. If you have information I don’t, make me listen.” Something almost challenging entered her gaze. “But you will do it like an agent, not like someone throwing the world’s most heavily armed tantrum.”
A laugh escaped somewhere behind you and you felt heat crawl up your neck. Natasha’s eyebrow lifted. “Understood?”
You nodded, “Yes, ma’am..”
“Good.” Then, before she moved on, Natasha added more quietly, “You led well today. And your heart did something deeply embarrassing. You had spent two months telling yourself you didn’t care about her approval. Apparently your body had not received the message.. “Thank you.”
Suddenly the briefing room doors opened and recruit turned when Fury entered. The room reacted instantly and chairs scraped backward as everyone stood and Natasha turned toward him and fury looked around at twenty two recruits standing rigidly in front of him. “Sit down.”
Natasha remained standing at the front while fury walked toward her and stopped beside the projection wall. “I’ve read the preliminary report. I’ve also seen some of the footage.” His eye moved across the room. “You completed your first operational simulation successfully. You retrieved the objective, maintained the unit through multiple simulated casualties and adapted when the planned route failed.” He paused.
“Then our equipment tried to kill you.”
A few recruits exchanged uncertain looks and fury’s mouth remained completely straight. “We’ll work on that.” A small laugh broke through the room, even Natasha looked away for a moment. Go “What matters to me is what happened afterward. You encountered something nobody planned. Some of you were hurt ans your command structure was disrupted. You could’ve panicked.” His gaze swept across them. “You didn’t. You got each other out and you should be proud of that.”
Twenty two people looking around at one another and realizing they had actually done it. Fury allowed the moment before continuing. “Which is why you’re done for today and tonight.” A wave of disbelief moved through the room.
“Off?” someone repeated before apparently remembering who they were speaking to and Fury looked toward him. “Yes. It’s a concept where you leave this building voluntarily and attempt to behave like normal people. What you do with that time is your business.”
Several smiles appeared. “Mostly.” And they vanished. “You report tomorrow at 1000 and if any of you arrive incapable of functioning because you decided tonight was your opportunity to personally destroy the alcohol supply of this city, Romanoff has permission to design tomorrow’s training session.”
Every face in the room changed and Natasha folded her arms, a faint smile appeared at the corner of her mouth. “Have fun.” he said. “You’ve earned it.” Then he walked out and for two seconds, nobody moved. Natasha looked around. “You heard him.”
That was all it took and chairs moved immediately. Conversation exploded before people had even reached the door and plans were apparently already being made. Someone mentioned a club downtown, another knew someone who could get them a reserved section. Natasha watched the transformation with faint disbelief, because five minutes ago they had looked like agents. Now they looked like exactly what they were: young adults who had just been told they could go drinking after surviving something awful.
Everyone began filing toward the door, till her eyes found you. “Y/l/n. Stay.”
Your happiness died and you stared at Natasha, then at Lu. She placed a solemn hand on your shoulder. “I’ll make sure your jacket goes to someone who deserves it.”
You shoved her toward the door and she laughed. Maya passed next, moving carefully on her injured leg. “You’ll be fine.” The door closed and you were alone with Natasha. She stood at the front for a moment before walking toward the long table and leaning back against its edge. She crossed her arms and you remained standing several meters away. You tried to decide whether being executed before or after dinner would be more inconvenient- “You look terrified.”
Your eyebrows rose. “I’ve been asked to stay behind by someone after screaming at her six hours ago.” Something shifted in her eyes. “Fair.”
You blinked, because that wasn’t what you expected. Natasha looked down briefly, then back at you. “I meant what I said. You did a good job today.”
There it was again. Without twenty one people watching, the words landed differently and less like an evaluation. “You were scared..” Natasha continued, “and before you deny it, don’t. Everyone in that arena was scared once the system failed. Fear isn’t a failure, and you kept thinking despite it. When everyone else needed direction, you gave it to them. That’s what I wanted to see when I put you in command.”
“Thank you.”
“You should be proud of yourself.” Your eyes returned to hers and that sentence was somehow worse. It didn’t sound like Natasha Romanoff evaluating a recruit, it sounded like Natasha telling you something she actually wanted you to believe.
“I am.” A tiny smile touched your mouth. “A little.”
Natasha’s eyebrow rose. “Only a little?” For a few seconds, Natasha simply looked like a woman leaning against a table after an exhausting day.
“I should apologise..” you said and Natasha looked at you. Your expression became serious. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”
“No.”
You breathed out something close to a laugh. “Thank you for making this easy.”
“You want me to lie?”
“N-No, ma’am..” Natasha tilted her head. “You were angry.”
“I was..”
“You had reason to be.” You looked toward the empty chairs, then back.
“I think…” You stopped and Natasha waited. There was something else..She could see it in the way your fingers moved against your palm and the way you looked at her and then away. “Can I ask you something?”
Natasha’s body went still before her face did. She already knew..maybe she had always known this moment would come. “Go ahead.”
You hesitated another second. “Did you know my parents?” There it was. Natasha felt the room disappear around the edges. She had imagined this question countless times since opening your file and none of the answers had become easier. She looked at you, “Yes.”
Your face changed immediately and your eyes widened a little and your lips parted before you caught yourself. “You..you did?”
Natasha nodded. “I served with them.”
You stared at her and suddenly two months of strange looks rearranged themselves in your mind. The way Natasha’s attention had caught on you the first day..the impossible standards..the moments when you could have sworn she was looking at someone else when she looked at you. “Oh.”
Natasha hated how small the word sounded and you glanced down. “Were you…close?”
Dangerous question, so Natasha chose her words carefully. “We worked together more than once. They were good agents.”
Your mouth tightened, because people had told you that your whole life. Natasha saw the reaction and understood immediately, so she added, “And good people.”
You looked up and something about the distinction mattered. Natasha could see it. “Your mother had a terrible habit of stealing other people’s coffee and then insisting she’d brought it herself.” Natasha had not planned to say that..
“She did?”
“All the time.”
A tiny, disbelieving smile appeared. “My dad used to say she hated coffee.”
“She hated her own coffee.” The smile grew and Natasha felt something inside her twist painfully. For years, your parents had existed for you as photographs, reports and heroic stories told by people who had polished them into something almost unreal. Natasha could give you something different..something human and the thought frightened her.
You looked down again, “I didn’t know that..”
“Your mother was terrible at following directions she didn’t agree with.” Natasha’s mouth moved faintly. “Which, now that I think about it, explains quite a lot about this morning.”
A laugh escaped you. You were looking at her like she had just handed you something precious. “What..was he like?” you asked and Natasha’s smile faded into something quieter. “Patient..He thought before he spoke, which was useful because your mother didn’t.”
You looked down, smiling. “He used to carry a photograph of you.” Your head lifted again and Natasha knew she should stop. Instead she could see the photograph as clearly as if it were sitting on the table between them and you missing a front tooth and your mother’s handwriting on the back..“He showed it to everyone who would tolerate him long enough.”
Your smile trembled. “How old was I?”
“Five, maybe six.”
“Was it the one with the red coat?”
Natasha thought. “Missing tooth?”
You nodded. “That one.”
Your breath caught and suddenly the smile disappeared. You looked away quickly and Natasha saw your jaw tighten. You blinked once, then twice and straightened your shoulders. It was so obviously an attempt to regain control that Natasha almost pretended not to notice. “Y/n.”
“I’m f-fine..” Your voice betrayed you. “Shit, sorry..” you laughed out of embarrassment but Natasha just said, “You don’t need to apologize.” And you nodded without looking at her. The tears embarrassed you more than the argument had. You had spent years listening to people speak about your parents. You had read every report you could legally access and several you probably weren’t supposed to, but nobody had ever told you that your father annoyed people with your photograph. Nobody had ever rolled their eyes remembering your mother’s inability to follow an order she thought was stupid.
Those were not facts about dead agents..they were memories. For the first time in years, your parents suddenly felt like people who had occupied rooms and irritated friends and carried photographs. They had been alive and Natasha remembered them alive.
You blinked hard and looked toward the projection wall until you trusted yourself again and Natasha remained where she was. Every instinct in her wanted to cross the distance, a hand on your shoulder, just something or anything. She didn’t. You were upset and vulnerable and comfort offered from someone in Natasha’s position could carry weight you hadn’t asked for. So she gave you the only thing she could without crossing that line..time.
The silence lasted until you finally breathed properly again. “Sorry.” you murmured once more and Natasha’s voice softened. “Stop apologizing for having feelings. You already used your apology quota on screaming at me.” You looked at her and for half a second you weren’t sure whether she was joking. Then you saw the faintest trace of amusement in her expression and a wet laugh escaped you.
“Right. Sorry, ma’am.” Natasha raised an eyebrow and you realised. “That one didn’t count.”
You wiped quickly beneath one eye and, despite everything, smiled. Something pulled unexpectedly in Natasha’s chest. There you were. Eyes still bright with tears, trying to compose yourself because apparently even grief had to be tidy in front of her. She had seen you bloodied without flinching, had watched you furious and had watched you exhausted, competitive and stubborn. This was different, because there was nothing of your parents in the expression Natasha saw now, it was simply you. And the tenderness that rose in her because of it had nothing to do with guilt.
You became serious again after a moment and Natasha knew what was coming before you asked. “Do you know what happened to them?”
Everything stopped, Nat, we’re pinned on the east side-
Natasha’s fingers tightened against the edge of the table, then your father’s voice beneath gunfire, Get her out!! Then Fury’s command, Natasha arriving afterward and your mother’s hand lying motionless in rainwater and-
Natasha blinked and you were watching her. She could tell you, that thought appeared suddenly, she could tell you everything, because you had proven yourself today. You were stronger than she had allowed herself to believe and maybe Fury had been wrong. Maybe Natasha had been wrong...maybe you deserved- No. The mission, the final selection and months of training still ahead. If she told you now, every interaction between you would change. Every order or lesson..You would enter the most dangerous phase of the program carrying a wound Natasha had personally reopened.
“No.” It hurt more than expected and your face fell slightly and Natasha forced herself not to look away. “I wasn’t on their final operation.” The lie came easier the second time. “I heard about it afterward.”
You nodded slowly and disappointment crossed your face, but not suspicion. “Right.”
Natasha hated herself “I’m sorry.”
You gave a small shrug. “It’s okay.” You glanced toward the door. “May I join the others?”
Natasha nodded. “Of course.”
You took two steps before stopping. Military instinct won over whatever softness had entered the conversation, so you turned back toward her, posture still respectful. “Thank you for telling me about them.” Natasha looked at you. “You’re welcome.”
You hesitated. “If you ever remember anything else…”
There was so much hope beneath the unfinished sentence that Natasha felt guilt twist sharply inside her. “I’ll tell you.”
Your smile was small but genuine. “Thank you.” Then you left and Natasha remained leaning against the table long after the door closed. She looked down at her hands and remembered how close she had come to crossing the distance when you cried. It had been instinctive, the urge to comfort you, but Natasha was relieved she hadn’t done it.
She was your officer..You trusted her and that trust had changed today from the reluctant obedience of a recruit into something more personal and Natasha had no intention of abusing it.
——
By four in the afternoon, the excitement of having nearly an entire day off had already developed an unexpected problem. None of you knew what to do with it..
For two months, every hour had belonged to someone else. Wake up calls, breakfast, drills, tactical instruction, physical conditioning, evaluations, more drills, dinner, mandatory recovery and whatever studying you could fit in before sleep took you by force. Even the rare free hour Natasha had given them had come with the unspoken expectation that they use it sensibly. Now Fury had handed them almost twenty hours with no schedule attached and apparently none of you remembered how to be normal people.
The three of you had showered after the briefing, changed into comfortable clothes and returned to the room with the vague intention of relaxing before everyone went out later that night. That had been almost an hour ago.
Maya sat at the small desk near the window with her injured leg stretched onto another chair, carefully repainting her nails because, according to her, she deserved to look less like she had just survived “a government-funded murder maze.”
Lu had taken over the floor between the beds with the contents of half her wardrobe spread around her, despite the fact that you weren’t leaving for several hours. You were lying on your stomach across your bed, headphones over your ears, one foot lazily moving behind you while you scrolled through Instagram with the dead eyed concentration of someone who had already been online too long and had no intention of stopping.
After weeks of barely checking your phone, the algorithm seemed confused about what kind of person you had become. Half your feed was old friends from before S.H.I.E.L.D., half training accounts and fitness videos and a concerning number of advertisements seemed convinced you desperately needed protein powder. You scrolled past another one. Someone from basic had posted a picture from the compound grounds with the location carefully removed and the caption vague enough not to cause an internal security investigation.
That led you down a rabbit hole. You tapped the profile, then their followers and recognizes three people immediately. You followed two of them, then kept scrolling through the suggestions Instagram generated underneath. Then your thumb stopped and for several seconds, you simply stared. There was a small verified account sitting between two S.H.I.E.L.D. name: natasharomanoff
Your brain refused to process it and slowly pushed one headphone off your ear and sat upright. “No way.”
Lu continued digging through clothes. “What?”
You didn’t answer and clicked the profile. The profile picture was simple enough: Natasha sitting somewhere outside, sunglasses on, red hair loose around her shoulders, looking away from the camera as though whoever had taken the photograph had caught her halfway through complaining about being photographed in the first place. The account was private and you stared at the screen. Natasha Romanoff had Instagram..The Black Widow had Instagram…
The woman who could dismantle a grown man in ten seconds apparently possessed a social media account like the rest of humanity.
You looked at the follower count, and it wanna much, that surprised you. But then again, the account was private, the username almost boringly straightforward and there was nothing in the bio except a small black widow emoji and a location that simply said New York. You felt strangely fascinated, because seeing the profile did something bizarre to your understanding of her. Somewhere outside the training rooms, combat gear and impossible expectations, Natasha apparently took pictures, opened an app and posted them. She existed when none of you were watching.
You were still staring when a hand waved directly between your eyes and the phone. You startled so violently you nearly dropped it. “Jesus Christ!”
Lu grinned down at you. “You’ve been frozen for like thirty seconds.”
“I have headphones on! Don’t just appear in front of me like that!”
“I said your name twice.”
“You could’ve tapped my shoulder instead of trying to give me cardiac arrest!”
Lu reached toward the phone. “What are you looking at?”
“Nothing.” That was apparently the worst possible answer, so, Lu snatched the phone from your hand. “Lu!”
You lunged upright and she turned away from you laughing while you grabbed for it. “Give it back!”
“Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not being weird. Give me my-”
Lu stopped and you did too. Her grin changed and her eyes went from the screen to you. “Oh my God.”
Your stomach dropped. “Don’t.”
Lu’s face split into the wildest smile you had ever seen. “Natasha Romanoff?”
“Give me the phone.”
“You’re stalking Romanoff???”
“I am not stalking her!”
Maya looked up from her nails. “What?”
“Y/n is stalking Romanoff.”
“I JUST CLICKED ON HER PROFILE.” Maya stared at you. “You found Romanoff’s Instagram?”
“Yes, apparently the concept of social media has reached international assassins too. Can I have my phone back?”
Lu held it against her chest. “This is incredible..”
“Give me my fucking phone!”
Maya started laughing and Lu finally extended it toward you. You reached for it, her thumb moved and you saw the second it happened. Something changed on the screen and all three of you froze. Lu’s smile vanished, so you snatched the phone from her hand and for half a second you didn’t understand what you were looking at. Then you saw the button beneath Natasha’s profile. Requested.
Your blood ran cold. “No.”
Lu backed away. “No, no, no, no!!!” You looked at her. “What did you do!?”
“It was an accident...”
“You sent her a FOLLOW REQUEST?”
“I WAS GIVING IT BACK!”
“You had one job!”
“I touched the button!”
“Why was your thumb on the button?!”
“I DON’T KNOW!”
Maya was laughing hard enough that she had to put the nail polish down. You stared at your phone in horror. Requested. To Natasha Romanoff. The woman you had screamed at that morning and the woman who had privately told you stories about your dead parents less than an hour ago. And now, apparently, you had walked out of that conversation and immediately tried to follow her personal Instagram account. “Oh my God..”
You sat down hard on the bed and Lu pressed both hands over her mouth. “Cancel it…I’m so sorry, cancel it.:”
You looked up. “Would that make it better?”
“Yes!”
“No, because what if she already saw it?”
“She didn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“S-She has a life, right?!”
“This is Natasha Romanoff! She probably has notifications wired directly into some S.H.I.E.L.D. satellite!”
Maya wiped at her eyes. “That is not how Instagram works..”
“You don’t know that!”
Your thumb hovered over the requested button. Cancel it, easy, where’s the problem? Except what if Natasha had already received the notification? Then it would look like you had followed her, panicked and withdrawn it. Which was somehow worse.
Lu crouched in front of you. “Okay. Don’t move.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re making decisions from fear.”
You stared at her. “Did you just quote Romanoff to me?”
“Yes.”
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
Your phone vibrated and all three of you looked down. Nobody moved and another vibration. You slowly lifted the screen and your heart stopped.
natasharomanoff accepted your follow request.
For perhaps two full seconds, the room contained absolutely no sound. Then all three of you screamed. “WHAT?!”
“No fucking way!”
“Oh my GOD!”
You launched the phone onto your bed as though it had become explosive and Lu grabbed your arm. “She accepted you!”
“I KNOW!”
“She accepted you immediately!”
“STOP SAYING IT!”
Maya’s eyes went wide. “Quiet!” All three of you immediately fell silent and you looked toward the door. Lu whispered, “What if she’s nearby?”
Your eyes widened. “Why would you say that?”
“I don’t know!”
“She can probably hear through walls.”
Maya stared at both of you. “She is a person, not a bat.”
“Have you seen her in training?”
“Good point.”
You looked toward your phone, it sat innocently on the blankets and you were suddenly afraid to touch it. “Do you think she thinks you’re nosy?”
“Obviously she thinks I’m nosy!”
“She accepted it..”
“Maybe because she feels awkward saying no!”
Maya sighed. “Y/n..”
“What?”
“She is Natasha Romanoff. She has survived espionage, assassinations, aliens and being publicly associated with Tony Stark for years. I think she is capable of rejecting an Instagram request.”
“So are you going to look?”
“No.”
Neither girl responded, but you lasted approximately four seconds. Then you picked it up at Natasha’s account and saw Seventy three posts, that was somehow more surprising than the account itself. You scrolled carefully and the first photograph was a city skyline at sunset. The next was a black cat curled on a windowsill with one eye open, looking deeply offended by the world.
“She has a cat?” Lu leaned over your shoulder. “Oh my God.”
Maya joined from the other side. The caption read: she does not pay rent.
Lu whispered, “This is life-changing information.”
You kept scrolling and Coffee, a photograph of rain on a window, a motorcycle parked beneath streetlights and a blurry image of Clint apparently throwing something at the camera. Nothing dramatic, no weapons or Avengers publicity. No photographs of Natasha posing for cameras, it was almost aggressively ordinary and that was what made it so strange. These were fragments of a woman you had never been allowed to see. Just someone who drank coffee, apparently owned a hostile black cat and sometimes photographed buildings because she thought the light looked nice.
Lu pointed toward the screen. “You’re stalking her.” You snapped the phone against your chest. “I am not stalking her.”
“You just went back four years.”
Your eyes widened. “Four years?” You looked at the date beneath the photograph. “Fuck.”
Maya shook her head. “You’re awful at this.”
“I was scrolling!”
“That’s generally how stalking works.”
“Both of you just shut up!” You locked the phone and tossed it onto your pillow. The whole thing was stupid, because Natasha just had accepted a follow request and that was all. Maybe she accepted every S.H.I.E.L.D. person she recognized. Maybe the account existed partly so colleagues could reach her. Maybe she had accepted without thinking twice. You were making it weird because Natasha had spent two months occupying approximately eighty percent of your stress response.
“I’m getting food.” Lu looked at you. “You’re running away.”
“I’m hungry.”
“You’re blushing.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“That would make Romanoff disappointed in your leadership.” You threw your pillow at her.
By early evening, you had mostly forgotten about it..or at least convinced yourself you had. People were planning to meet downstairs around nine before heading into the city, which left several more hours to fill. Lu and Maya had already begun discussing outfits with the seriousness usually reserved for tactical operations and after fifteen minutes of being asked whether one shirt looked better than another nearly identical shirt, you escaped.
The gym seemed like the obvious choice. Technically, you had been given the evening off and technically, training during time off probably defeated the purpose. But your body still carried too much adrenaline from the morning and the thought of sitting around for another three hours made you restless. So you changed into training clothes, put your headphones in and went downstairs.
The gym was nearly empty, perfect. You spent the first half hour moving slowly, more recovery than actual training. Your muscles protested almost immediately, bruises from the arena reminding you that perhaps this was not the smartest idea you’d had all day. Still, repetition settled your head. You were halfway through a set when the doors opened and you glanced toward them casually and nearly lost your grip.
Natasha walked in and your body straightened before you could stop it. Her eyes found you almost immediately and for one terrible second, your brain supplied only: She accepted your Instagram request.
You looked toward the clock: 19:42. Then remembered the other night when you first time you had found Natasha in here late. It was around the same time, so this was probably the time when she trained and you were the intruder..again.
Natasha paused when she saw you and something unreadable crossed her face. Then she nodded and you pulled one headphone aside. “Ma’am.”
“Y/l/n.” There was nothing unusual in her voice. Nothing suggesting she had seen you four years deep in her Instagram profile approximately three hours earlier. “You know Fury gave you the evening off.”
You glanced at the weights. “Yeah.”
“This looks suspiciously like training.”
“I don’t think we’re used to freedom anymore.”
“That sounds like a personal problem.” The dryness of it made the corner of your mouth twitch. “Yes, ma’am.” Natasha moved toward the other side of the gym and that was it. You put your headphone back on and returned to your workout, Natasha did the same. For the next forty minutes, you existed on opposite sides of the room and neither of you spoke. That should have made things normal again…It didn’t.
Once, you caught Natasha looking toward you in the mirror and she looked away before you could be sure. Ten minutes later, Natasha saw you glance in her direction while adjusting your wrist wrap and you immediately became fascinated by the floor. Eventually your body made the decision for you that enough was enough. You finished stretching, collected your bottle and towel and walked toward the exit. Natasha was adjusting weights nearby when you stopped several meters away. “Good night.”
She looked toward you. “Good night, try and enjoy your evening.” You were almost surprised. Natasha watched the door close and looked back toward the equipment. For some reason, the gym felt quieter after you left, but she ignored that observation.
You showered again afterward, partly because you’d trained and partly because Lu threatened to refuse entry to the room if you brought “gym smell” anywhere near the clothes she had laid out. By eight thirty, Maya was sitting in front of the mirror doing her makeup, Lu was fighting with her hair and you had retreated to your bed again, freshly showered and wearing a robe while you postponed the inevitable discussion of what you were supposed to wear.
Your phone sat beside you. You hadn’t opened Instagram since the afternoon till the screen lit up. You glanced down and nearly threw it across the room for the second time that day.
Natasharomanoff sent you a message
Your heart slammed against your ribs and you immediately locked the screen, but unlocked it again and opened Instagram. The message sat there and you stared at it before finally tapping.
You left your wrist wrap in the gym. I have it. Didn’t want to interrupt your night off, but you’ll probably want it tomorrow.
You released a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. You reread the message and it was just perfectly..normal..nothing special, so you typed carefully.
Thank you, ma’am. Sorry about that. I can pick it up tomorrow morning.
You stared at the message. Was ma’am weird over Instagram? Natasha replied less than a minute later.
You don’t need to apologize every time you leave an object somewhere.
You frowned and typed:
Noted, ma’am.
Three dots appeared and disappeared:
You do realize adding “ma’am” to everything doesn’t make it less sarcastic.
Your mouth opened.
I wasn’t being sarcastic.
The response came quickly:
Of course not.
You stared because she was teasing you..over Instagram. This day had become deeply strange and you typed before overthinking it:
With respect, that sounded sarcastic.
This time the reply took longer:
Good observation. Training is working.
A laugh escaped you and you looked down at the two girls and then moved farther up the bed and opened it again:
How are you feeling after today?
That changed something and your amusement softened. You considered the answer, because your shoulder hurt, your cheek still stung and emotionally, you had been thrown between panic, anger, pride, grief and embarrassment so many times you were surprised your brain still functioned.
You settled on:
Sore, but fine. Everyone else seems okay too.
Natasha read it and you wondered whether you had answered too formally. Then:
That wasn’t what I meant.
You stared. Oh. You looked toward Maya and Lu and they were arguing again over eyeliner, so you lowered your eyes to the screen:
I’m okay. I think. It was a lot. You hesitated before adding: The conversation afterward too.
You almost deleted the second line, but sent it. Across the compound, Natasha sat on the sofa in her quarters with one leg folded beneath her and a coffee of tea forgotten on the table beside her. Your wrist wrap lay on the counter, she had found it beneath one of the benches after finishing her workout and had considered simply leaving it at the front desk. That would have been sensible, but she had taken it with her and spent almost forty minutes telling herself there was nothing unusual about messaging you to say she had it.
You had followed her account that afternoon and that had surprised her more than it should have. When the notification appeared, Natasha had stared at your name for several seconds and her first thought had been that Lu was probably involved. Her second had been whether telling you about your parents had blurred a boundary she should have kept intact. Perhaps you had left the room believing something between you had changed..and something had changed, but Natasha simply wasn’t certain what.
Still, declining the request would have felt unnecessarily cold after the conversation you’d shared and you weren’t a child. You were an adult recruit who had found a social media account, not infiltrated a secure S.H.I.E.L.D. server. So she’d accepted. Then, against better judgment, she had clicked your profile too. Your account wasn’t private to her anymore once she’d accepted and followed you back and Natasha had looked almost without thinking. The first few photographs were recent. You and Lu at the end of basic, both exhausted, Maya visible behind you giving the camera an obscene gesture. A picture of New York at night and an old photograph from a vacation.
Then she found a photograph where you were sitting between your parents. Red coat and missing tooth..the exact photograph your father had carried and Natasha stopped scrolling. For several seconds she forgot where she was. Your father pulling the picture from the inside pocket of his jacket, Look. She’s missing another tooth.
Your mother groaning from across the quinjet. Stop showing everyone that picture.
She’s cute.
She’s going to hate us when she’s older.
Natasha swallowed, the caption beneath your post was simple. Wish I remembered more. She locked her phone. Fuck, what was she doing? Sitting in her quarters scrolling through the personal life of one of her recruits after spending months insisting emotional distance was necessary? She should stop, she knew that, but then your reply appeared. I’m okay. I think. It was a lot. The conversation afterward too.
Natasha stared at the message and guilt pressed deeper. She had lied to you and you even had thanked her for it..
I’m sorry if I gave you too much at once.
You responded a few minutes later:
No. I’m glad you told me. I don’t really have anyone who remembers them like that.
Natasha looked back toward the old photograph still lingering in her mind and wrote: You deserve to know them as people, not just names in reports.
The typing indicator appeared almost immediately, but stopped and appeared gain:
That’s exactly what it felt like.
Natasha’s chest tightened another message followed: People always tell me they were heroes. Nobody ever tells me my mother stole coffee.
A smile pulled unexpectedly at Natasha’s mouth. She stole mine specifically. I suspect it was personal.
Your reply came seconds later:
Maybe your coffee was better.
It was.
That sounded arrogant, ma’am.
Natasha stared at the screen and laughed quietly. There it was again: Ma’am. Even over Instagram.. a reminder of exactly what this was. She should probably let the conversation end, but: Some things are simply factual.
You laughed into your pillow. What began as a conversation about your wrist wrap somehow moved to the arena, then your parents, then the cat from Natasha’s profile after you made the mistake of admitting you’d seen her. What’s the cat’s name?
Natasha’s answer came almost immediately:
Liho.
She looks angry in every picture.
She is angry in every picture.
At you?
At existence. I’m merely available.
You laughed again and typed:
I still can’t believe you have Instagram.
The typing indicator appeared:
I’m thirty something, not a Victorian ghost.
You made a strangled sound and Lu spun around. “What?” You held the phone close to your chest. “Nothing.”
“You can’t react like that and say nothing!”
You ignored her. I didn’t mean because of your age.
Careful.
Your eyes widened: I MEANT because you’re you.
The typing indicator appeared and you immediately regretted everything..That explanation made it worse.
You covered your face with one hand. “Oh God.” Maya started laughing without even knowing what had happened.
I’m going to stop talking now.
Natasha replied:
Probably wise.
Then, a few seconds later:
For the record, most people are less surprised that I know how phones work.
You smiled helplessly:
Most people aren’t trained by you.
The message sent and you stared at it. That sounded more personal than you intended.. Natasha didn’t answer immediately and you wondered whether you had finally made it strange.
Then:
Fair point. You should probably get ready. I assume Bennett has planned something loud and irresponsible.
You glanced toward Lu, who was currently holding two dresses against herself and demanding Maya choose.
That’s an alarming level of accuracy.
Natasha set her phone down for the second time. Then picked it back up when another notification appeared and still knew she should stop. Not because the conversation itself was wrong..There was nothing she wouldn’t have been comfortable showing Fury, which was generally an excellent test for whether she had crossed a professional boundary, but the problem was subtler. She liked talking to you and that was unexpected. Natasha had spent months believing the strange attention you commanded from her came from guilt and memory. Then the arena had forced her to separate you from your parents and the conversation afterward had made the distinction impossible to ignore. Now, reading your messages, she found herself learning things she had never noticed during training.
You overexplained when embarrassed. You used punctuation strangely when nervous. You were far more sarcastic than you dared to be in person. And every time you called her ma’am in the middle of an otherwise casual conversation, Natasha was reminded that the distance between you remained exactly where it belonged. Perhaps that was why she allowed herself to continue.
Your next message appeared:
For what it’s worth, thank you again for earlier. I know I already said it, but hearing something normal about them helped.
Natasha stared at the words and her guilt returned instantly. She looked toward the photograph she’d found on your page before answering. You’re welcome. Then, after a long hesitation:
Your father was proud of you. Even then.
The typing indicator appeared, disappeared and stayed gone long enough that Natasha wondered whether she shouldn’t have said it. Then your reply arrived:
You remember him talking about me?
Yes.
A lot?
A faint smile touched her mouth. More than anyone wanted.
Your answer was simply:
:)
Natasha stared at the tiny symbol and something ainfully soft moved beneath her ribs. She should tell you the truth..The thought was becoming less negotiable. For now, she typed:
Go enjoy your night, Y/l/n. You’ve earned one.
You read the message twice, the use of your surname pulled the conversation gently back into familiar territory. Perhaps Natasha had noticed the conversation stretching too and maybe this was her way of ending it without making it awkward, so you understood.
Yes, ma’am. Thank you for rescuing my wrist wrap.
A moment later:
Don’t make a habit of leaving equipment behind.
There she was and you smiled.
Wouldn’t dream of it. Good night.
Good night. Have fun.
You locked the phone and placed it face down beside you. For several seconds you simply sat there and Lu stared through the mirror. “Well?”
“Well what?”
“Did the Black Widow just tell you good night?”
You stood. “I’m getting dressed.”
“That is not an answer!”
“It is the only answer you’re getting.”
Maya watched you cross toward the closet. “You’re smiling..”
“No, I’m not!”
“You are.”
You grabbed the first shirt you saw and Lu looked delighted. “Oh, tonight is going to be interesting.”
You turned toward her. “Nothing is happening tonight!?”
“I didn’t say anything was.”
Lu smiled sweetly and you rolled your eyes and disappeared toward the bathroom to get dressed. The conversation with Natasha faded into the rest of the evening while music began playing from Lu’s speaker and clothes accumulated across every available surface. Or at least you tried to let it fade because somewhere across the compound, Natasha had your wrist wrap sitting in her quarters. She remembered your father carrying your photograph and had accepted your follow request..
In her quarters, Natasha placed her phone on the table and told herself the conversation was finished. Then she looked at it again thirty seconds later. No new message. Good. Was it good?
She stood and carried her coffee toward the kitchen, determined to stop thinking about the entire thing. Her phone remained on the table behind her along with your wrist wrap. She finished her coffee and deliberately left her phone where it was. Ten minutes later, Clint sent her a message.
We’re heading there around ten. Even the recruits are going. Come have one drink and pretend you enjoy being alive.
Natasha stared at it and typed: No.
Clint answered almost immediately.
That’s what you said earlier.
And yet you asked again.
Because eventually you’re going to realize sitting alone in your apartment on their first successful mission night makes you depressing. Come on, it will be fun.
scarlet johannson did not spend an entire decade fighting tooth and nail to make natasha into an actual character instead of the sex object writers wanted her to be while also having to endure the most vile, misogynistic questions during press tours for people to now disrespect her legacy because yelena is 'better'. the only reason why that is, is because of everything scarlet went through. natasha singlehandedly paved the way for every other female superhero in the mcu and don't you forget that
Summary: You grew up in a foster care facility until you were six years old. Happy memories were distant, until a new, green-eyed high school volunteer started one day. You became her precious baby, and she became the first, and last, mother figure in your life. You wish you remembered her name, but you were suddenly placed with a foster family one day without ever getting to say goodbye.
Now, you're a quiet university student. But why does your regular customer, Wanda, make memories of the facility swirl in your head? Why does her touch feel so familiar? And when was she going to tell you she's married?
Word Count: 8.7k
Warnings: 18+, age gap, mommy kink, heavy Freudian themes, pseudo-incest, dom/sub undertones, suggestive, a little emotional regression, angst and fluff, finding comfort in each other in a possibly unhealthy way
A/N: first time writing something like so pls be gentle and read the warnings
—
The memories of the foster care facility had been popping into your mind more often lately. They were usually a mixture of sad or painful events. Prospective parents passing you over for kids who were brighter, more talkative, or openly craving affection. Volunteers assuming you didn't want to be bothered, leaving you to read or draw alone at the table. The facility staff scolding you, frustrated that you didn't try harder to be chosen.
It wasn't that you didn't try on purpose.
You had been there since the day you were born, spending six years inside that building. When you were a newborn, people thought you were too much responsibility. A blank slate where one slip-up could ruin a life. Then you became a toddler, making friends with the other kids. You would play outside, screaming at the top of your lungs and laughing until you couldn't breathe.
But then one day, your best friend left with a foster family. Then another. And another. You were happy for them, but beneath it all, you started to close in on yourself. You grew scared of the pain of opening up to someone who could leave at any moment. So, you started to keep your distance. You talked less, stayed inside, and kept your head down.
But one day, shortly after you turned six, a happy memory formed.
You were drawing at one of the tables by yourself. The sleeves of your oversized t-shirt were folded up, and the hem fell past your shorts. The other kids were talking excitedly with one another, a noise you were used to drowning out.
Suddenly, a hand larger than yours, adorned with rings, appeared next to your crayons.
"Hi," a soft, slightly accented voice said.
You turned your head, meeting wide, green eyes. The corners of them crinkled as she smiled brightly, her face level with yours from where she crouched beside the table. You scanned her face, noticing her dark brown hair before looking down at her name tag. It listed her as a volunteer.
You wish you had committed her name to memory, but assuming she would be like the rest, you hadn't looked closely.
"Hi," you mumbled, wanting to get back to your coloring.
She picked up a blue crayon, twirling it between her fingers. "I'm a new volunteer here. I saw you coloring and wondered if I could join you."
You looked down at your drawing. She would probably get bored and leave to play with the others. The thought made you pout as you stared at the yellow duck you had drawn.
"I guess..." you responded quietly, continuing your coloring to distract yourself.
She giggled softly. Before you could react, she lightly pinched your cheek between her index finger and thumb. You turned to her, her fingers still holding your cheek, and gave her a little glare. She only giggled more.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, trying to sound apologetic despite her grin. "You just looked too cute."
You looked away, your cheeks heating up. You shook your head, forcing her fingers to fall away. "If you're gonna draw, do it quietly," you said with the biggest sigh your small body could muster.
With one last giggle, she pulled out the small, plastic chair beside you. She settled in, grabbing a sheet of paper from the stack in the center of the table. You could see her glancing at your drawing repeatedly before finally starting her own.
You sat silently, trying to keep your lines smooth even though they always wobbled in the middle. Other kids came up to her, asking her to play and wanting to get to know the new volunteer. Your chest tightened every time, even when you tried not to care.
But she always rejected them kindly, telling them she was in the middle of spending time with you. Your heart warmed just a little, despite your best efforts to act indifferent.
Half an hour into drawing, she started to speak to you. She acted as though you were answering her questions even when you stayed silent, the smile never leaving her voice.
You learned she was a high school senior completing volunteer hours. You found out she had an annoying twin brother who always brought up that he was a few minutes older. She told you about being from Sokovia, how she had only been in the States for a few years, the foods she liked, and the classes that bored her. She talked about her plans for the future, wanting to do something meaningful with her life.
Time passed like that—her talking about herself while you sat there, pretending not to listen but absorbing it all.
When she stopped talking, you peeked up. She was holding her drawing out to you with a shy grin.
It was a drawing of you. More specifically, of you sitting right in front of her, the little splotches of color from your own paper captured in her sketch. Even though there were other kids behind you, you were the only person in the drawing.
Your eyes widened as you looked between her and the paper. She was about to speak when one of the workers called your name, announcing it was bath time. Disappointment washed over you. Surely she would find someone more interesting after this.
You gathered your drawing, but her warm hand enveloped yours completely, stopping you. Your eyes met her green ones.
"Can we trade?" she asked, smiling softly as she looked down at the paper in your hands.
You weren't attached to your drawing. You had messed up the lines far too many times for it to look like anything, and it wasn't anywhere near what she had made. But you found yourself nodding shyly before you could think twice.
She swapped the papers but kept her hand on top of yours, holding it there for a moment. "See you later, alligator," she said gently. Her eyes didn't waver, and somehow, you believed her.
"See you," you whispered.
Her hand finally released yours. You hopped off the plastic chair and walked across the room toward the worker. You looked back, fully prepared to see her talking to another kid. Instead, you found her watching you leave with delicate affection in her eyes.
She started coming every other day. Sometimes she wore her backpack, arriving straight from school. On colder days, she would stop at the coat rack to hang her jacket. But despite those little differences, her searching for you was a constant. She would locate you with a single glance, walking over quickly with a bright smile that lit up the room.
You always ignored her for the first few minutes while she told you about her day. She would join you in whatever you were doing, even if you were just sitting silently outside, staring at the sky. At first, she sat an arm's length away. But as the months went on, the distance closed. And your heart opened.
You remember the first time you sought her out. It was right after a nap with the other kids your age. Bad dreams had plagued you—memories of the friends who had left, telling you that you would never be loved. You had gripped the front of your oversized shirt with small hands, your chest aching because you believed them. Tears streamed down your cheeks, even as you tried to swipe them away with the back of your hand.
It was then that she showed up. The door opened just a crack so the hallway light wouldn't flood the dark room. You could recognize her silhouette easily by that point. Shimmying out of your blankets, you quietly stepped over the other kids, your vision blurred with tears.
You remember her surprised face. Her eyes widened when she saw you standing right in front of her, forcing her to look down. Your fingers curled into the denim of her jeans while you sniffled. She crouched down, her eyebrows furrowed with worry as she brushed the tears off your cheeks with her thumbs.
"What's wrong, baby?" she whispered, keeping her voice low so she wouldn't wake anyone.
You shook your head, staring at her with shiny eyes. You let go of her jeans and lifted your arms. She scooped you up immediately, rocking you back and forth. Holding one hand against the back of your head, she pressed your cheek into her shoulder. You breathed in. The comforting scent of sweet flowers, like the ones that grew by the swing set outside, washed over your senses.
More bright memories formed after that, multiplying over the weeks. You started talking a little more, telling her what you planned to draw. You sought her out whenever your shoes were untied. When you watched the sky, you sat in her lap instead of leaving that empty space between you.
In the picture books you read, the mom was always there for her child, whether they were sad or happy. Always wiping away tears after a bad dream. Always listening to them talk, even if it was nonsense about nothing at all.
Just like she did for you.
You remembered when one of the other kids got fostered. Their foster parents had come to pick them up from the facility, and the way the new mother beamed when the child called her "Mommy" always stuck with you.
Wanting to see that same look on her face, you walked up to her the next day just like you had after your nightmare. You tugged on the hem of her shirt to make her look down, tilting your chin to meet her smiling eyes.
"Hi, mommy," you said quietly, your voice shy.
Her eyes widened. Tears immediately began to shine in them before she scooped you up, hugging you tightly. She held you like that for a long time, her breathing shaky against your shoulder. You remember wondering if you had done something wrong. But then she spoke, her voice watery and thick with emotion.
"If only I were older... more stable..." she whispered, her voice shaking. "Then I could take you away from this place."
You hadn't understood why she was crying. She didn't have to take you away from there. You were happy as long as she came to visit. You thought it would last forever.
After that day, you became her precious baby. She would call you that every time she greeted you. She started staying past her volunteer hours, right up until the moment you had to go to sleep. The farewell was always the same.
"See you later, alligator."
"Bye-bye, mommy."
She would smile brightly whenever you called her that, as if you had given her the greatest gift in the world. Holding hands while walking, sitting in her lap while she read to you, her pushing you on the swings. They were pure, happy memories.
But the sunny days ended abruptly.
A couple who had visited you a few weeks prior appeared out of nowhere one afternoon. You had assumed they would choose someone else, since they had stopped talking to you weeks ago. Instead, they walked up to you with small smiles that didn't reach their eyes and told you that you were leaving with them.
She wasn't there that day. You never got to say goodbye. All you had from her was the drawings she'd trade with you that you begged to take with you.
You were in another state by the next day. In a spacious new apartment, a new room, a new school. You tried to be grateful for it all, but your foster parents weren't parents. You would try to get their attention, showing them your grades or asking for help, but their polite, distant smiles made you realize something quickly. The love you had read about in picture books wouldn't be found here.
It was more of an arrangement of convenience. They received money from the state for fostering you, and they got to look like a complete family from the outside. Even after they adopted you once the six month period passed, inside the home, you were just a guest.
That's how you lived for the next twelve years until you became an adult. And for the two years after that, you were on your own, refusing to accept their charity anymore.
Frankly, it wasn't something you chose to reminisce on. The ache in your chest from remembering her, from never being able to see her again, would always feel too painful.
But it's the green eyes in front of you that had been awakening these memories lately.
"Hi, honey, not too busy today?" Wanda asks, pulling an array of fruits and vegetables from her reusable bag and placing them onto the conveyor belt.
You pick up a package of cherry tomatoes, scan it, and set it to the side. "No, not today. It's been pretty quiet," you respond, continuing to scan the rest of the items.
You make a conscious effort to keep your head down, not wanting her to see the excitement on your face from her arrival.
You met Wanda a few weeks ago when you first started this job as a checkout clerk. It fits into your university class schedule well and pays decently because of the nicer neighborhood it's located in.
Your first day had been horrendous. In the last few minutes of your shift, a customer began complaining about their total, claiming they had a coupon that should reduce the price significantly. You tried scanning the coupon they held out, but it came back invalid every single time. Even when you tried to explain the situation calmly, they began to raise their voice until everyone in the front of the store was looking your way.
Situations like these have never been easy for you. You hated being the center of attention. You hoped they would just get it out of their system, pay, and leave so you could go home, but they wouldn't budge.
It wasn't until a voice came from behind them that the situation resolved itself.
"If you can't afford it, then just say so and move on so the rest of us can have our turn."
You craned your head back, meeting a pair of green eyes that you could swear you've seen before. It reminded you instantly of the volunteer who doted on you when you were still at the facility. But this woman had reddish-orange hair and no accent in her voice.
The customer's face turned beet red. They finally tapped their card against the reader, grabbed their bags, and walked away muttering under their breath.
The woman stared the customer down all the way until they exited the sliding glass doors. The moment she looked back at you, her expression instantly softened into something bright.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with customers like that, sweetheart. I don't think I've seen you here before. I'm Wanda. What's your name?"
There was something about the cadence of her voice that made your heart beat faster. The array of crayons on the small table back at the facility immediately came to mind. You quickly shook the thought off when she gazed at you expectantly.
You introduced yourself shyly, admitting it was your first day.
It took off from there.
Wanda visited a few times a week on random days, except for Fridays, which were a constant. You'd share short conversations with her. She'd stay longer sometimes on days where there was no line, chatting about her own time in university and letting you vent about stuck-up professors
Thankfully, today is Friday.
Unfortunately, you're exhausted from classes and your roommates being loud in the living room. It was taking everything in you to not close your eyes. The sunlight glinting off the cars in the parking lot were simultaneously blinding you and keeping you awake, but it was getting harder to keep your shoulders upright.
You take a breath, forcing a smile onto your face when you notice Wanda helping pack her groceries. You've reminded her over and over that this is part of what you're paid to do, but she never listens.
"They might replace you with me at this rate," you say jokingly, the tiredness dulling the inflections in your voice.
Wanda looks up from one of the bags, raising a brow. "Then would you be the customer?"
You huff out a little laugh. "This grocery store is a bit out of my price range."
"Then that arrangement won't do," she responds with a small smile, looking back down. "How else would I see you and that shy smile?"
Your gaze drops down to the scanner, heat rising up your neck to your cheeks and ears.
"See?" Wanda points out, laughing brightly.
Suddenly, her voice drops into something quieter. "Are you sleeping enough, darling?" she asks, gathering her bags nonchalantly. You see her peering at you when she thinks you don't notice.
Don't bother her with your problems, the rational part of you reminds you. It was one thing to complain about professors. It was a whole other thing to tell her about your living situation.
"I slept enough," you respond, meeting her gaze with a smile that doesn't reach your eyes.
She stares at you, scanning your face carefully before giving you a quick smile, like she's thought of something satisfactory.
"Do you get off soon?" she asks, glancing at the watch resting on her left wrist.
You glance at the register screen, finding that you're almost at the finish line.
"I only have around ten more minutes." You breathe out a sigh of relief.
She looks to the side for a moment, nervously biting her lower lip.
You can't help but find her beautiful with the way the sunlight shining in splays perfectly across her face. She's wearing a plain blue blouse and white trousers. No logos. No heavy gold rings or designer bags like the women who usually patronize this neighborhood. Just a silver watch on her left wrist. That modesty was one of the things that had made it easier for you to talk to her.
"I know your parents probably told you not to follow strangers. But hopefully, I'm not a stranger at this point," she starts, speaking quickly. "Would you like to take a walk with me after this at the park across the street? I saw there were a few food trucks, so maybe we could grab an early dinner?"
Frankly, your parents hadn't told you much of anything. You had figured out how to navigate the world on your own. But Wanda isn't a stranger, and the park across the street is always crowded. You wouldn't be in any danger. Perhaps it was naive of you, but with Wanda, you never felt afraid. Just her presence made you feel safe.
The prospect of spending more than a few minutes with her makes something in your chest flutter. It's a feeling you haven't felt since you were six years old.
"O-okay," you stutter, mentally cursing yourself for the slip.
Wanda beams at you, adjusting the bags of groceries hanging on her wrists. "I'll be waiting outside for you, honey. Take your time coming out," she calls out, already turning around and walking out the door.
You watch her walk away before finally turning back to the register. You stare down at the scanner in front of you. Your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth, but it doesn't stop the smile forming on your lips.
The sound of footsteps approaching cuts the moment short. You quickly smooth down the front of your apron, erasing the smile from your face before looking up to meet the next customer a few paces away.
"Next," you call out politely.
—
You step out into the parking lot, squinting against the blinding rays. Lifting your arms, you stretch your tight shoulders and release a yawn. Your t-shirt rides up with the motion, the hem resting just above your belly button before you finally let your arms drop.
Looking around, you find Wanda leaning against her car a few paces away. She's already staring in your direction, but her gaze is low. It takes a few steps in her direction before she finally glances up, her eyes widening slightly before she quickly slaps a smile onto her face.
"Ready to go, darling?" she asks, her voice a bit breathless.
You adjust your bag hanging on your shoulder before responding. "All set."
It's a quiet, comfortable walk across the street. You and Wanda stroll between the food trucks, pointing out options before ultimately deciding on sandwiches. Wanda pays for the food before you even have a chance to unzip your wallet.
"I-I could've paid for my own food," you mumble, a stubborn pout forming on your lips.
You both take a seat on an open bench facing the pond. Wanda turns her torso toward you, her expression softening into something you can't quite name. There's a distant sadness in her eyes that doesn't match the small smile on her face.
Before you can think to look away, she reaches out and pinches your cheek gently between her index finger and thumb.
"Let's just say I wanted to treat you. I'm the one who invited you out, after all," she says gently.
Her hand falls away, but her fingers linger close for a moment. Her gaze remains locked on your face, watching you quietly, as if she's studying you.
You stare back at her, your eyes wide. The familiarity of the gesture has your mind racing, your thoughts rushing straight to the one person you could never forget. You never allowed anyone to touch your face like this. Even when friends tried to do it jokingly, you always flinched away. It felt like if you allowed anyone else to repeat the gesture, you would start forgetting her. The memory of the first person who loved you.
Wanda isn't her, you chastise yourself internally.
Your heart twists sharply in your chest. A wave of guilt washes over you, eating away at your stomach just for letting Wanda cross that line without a fight.
But for some reason, it didn't feel uncomfortable. Usually, when others even reached for your face, you felt a wave of unease. If anything, Wanda's touch felt like coming home. The realization makes your heart ache—you don't want the volunteer to fade from your memory.
You look down at the bench, focusing on the arm's length of distance separating you two. The sandwiches she bought sit untouched between you. For a few long moments, the chatter of people walking by the pond fades into background noise as your thoughts consume you.
It isn't until Wanda speaks that you finally snap out of it.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, darling," she starts quietly. Her expression looks distant, as if she's watching old memories float past.
You open your mouth to tell her the truth, that it didn't make you uncomfortable at all, but she continues, forcing your jaw to snap shut so you can hear her clearly.
"There's someone I've been missing for a very long time. Your smile and that cute pout... they remind me of her so much," she whispers, meeting your eyes with a sad smile. "She would be your age by now. Sometimes I wonder what she's doing. If she's eating okay, if she's receiving the love she deserves... if she still remembers me. But I always hope she's happy, even if that happiness didn't come from me."
The ache in Wanda's voice is almost palpable. It makes your chest tighten in the same way it does whenever you let yourself look back at the past.
Wanda's expression suddenly morphs into a grimace. "Maybe this is just me easing my own guilt. I'm sorry if this is bothersome, sweetheart. It must be weird, being compared to someone you've never met. But talking to you recently... it's been making me think of her more."
Her eyes widen suddenly, her posture stiffening as her voice turns frantic.
"That's not why I've been talking to you, though!" she exclaims, her voice rising enough to draw a glance from a passing couple. "I love our conversations. Genuinely. Seeing you so tired today just made me want to do something to help, even if it wasn't much."
You look out at the pond, watching the light breeze track ripples across the surface.
So she's missing someone too, you think.
The realization eases the guilt churning in your stomach. The puzzle pieces fit together now. The comfort and protection you only ever found from one person—the most important person in your life—had suddenly reappeared in a matter of weeks through Wanda. It makes sense now.
Wanda reminds you of her.
Secretly, you've known this all along. Probably from the very moment you locked eyes with her at the register.
You're not replacing her. The thought immediately making your frantic mind rest. She'll always be your mommy.
You and Wanda are just finding comfort in each other.
"Can we keep meeting like this?" you ask shyly, turning your head toward her. You let your eyes drift up to the sky. "There's someone I've been missing too. When I talk to you, I feel like I remember her more clearly."
You let your gaze drop back to Wanda's face. She's staring at you, her green eyes bright, as if she's looking right at a memory.
"Of course," she breathes.
You shift on the bench, scooting a little bit closer to her. It reminds you of when you were younger—the distance closing slowly, piece by piece.
—
You step into your shared apartment, barely sparing a glance at the kitchen counter littered with dirty plates and utensils. You make your way down the hall, feeling the heavy bass of music vibrating from beneath one of your roommates' doors.
Closing your bedroom door, you lean your back against it and finally breathe out. You let your bag drop to the floor, the heavy thud of it barely audible over the noise outside.
Reaching up, you let your fingertips brush slowly across your cheekbone. You can still feel the lingering warmth from where Wanda’s hand had cupped your face before you parted ways. Her eyes had locked onto yours for a long second before she finally turned around.
You can't help but wonder who it is that she's missing so desperately. But you didn't want to ask. You know that if she threw the question back at you, you would have a hard time answering.
How do you explain to a woman you just met recently that you miss a teenage volunteer from fourteen years ago? How do you explain that you still can't forget her? It would be like admitting to Wanda that she reminds you of the only person you ever viewed as a mother.
You walk across the small, cold space of your room and pull open the bottom drawer of your desk. Reaching inside, you run your fingertips across the rough, waxy lines of the papers hidden at the bottom.
All of her drawings are stored here. Some are messy pieces you had colored together. Most are the clean, detailed sketches drawn just by her.
You miss her so much it aches. The parallels between her and Wanda are almost eerie, pulling your heart in entirely different directions.
But it's exactly that conflict that makes you want to see Wanda again. You want to feel that safety you haven't felt since you were six years old.
You pick up the very first drawing she ever gave you. The sketch of you sitting and drawing at the table.
"Is this okay, mommy?" you whisper into the quiet room, the memory of her smiling green eyes flashing behind your eyelids. Wanda's face appears for a split second before fading away.
—
You start meeting with Wanda every Friday after your shift. She's always waiting for you, leaning against her car, her smile dazzling the moment she notices you.
The second time you meet, she takes you to a cute bakery down the street. You've noticed the inviting exterior before, but knowing the area, you knew it would be far out of your budget. Wanda doesn't let you pay, even when you try handing the barista your card. She just glances at you, raising a single brow. Your arm automatically lowers, and Wanda pays anyway.
It reminds you instantly of the look She would give you when you tried to avoid bedtime at the facility, just wanting to spend more time with her. You would automatically listen back then, wanting to be her obedient baby.
With Wanda, you get to experience many of the things you never could in the city. A flaky, buttery croissant at the bakery. A French restaurant you always wanted to try but could never get a reservation for even if you could afford it. Even just sitting peacefully on the park bench. You're always in a rush, jumping from classes to work, then back home to study. This is the first time you've truly gotten to take in the city you've lived in for fourteen years.
You and Wanda always end up at the park, no matter where you go first. You sit on the same bench in front of the pond. It's where you have the deep conversations that aren't just about university or daily life. It's there that you find out Wanda is the chairwoman for a massive charity—one even you've heard of. She tells you it was something she always wanted to do. To do something meaningful with her life.
The phrasing is so familiar. You remember Her saying the exact same thing. It makes you look at Wanda differently. The passing interest you had because of her looks and her similarities to the person you miss, growing into something much greater with every meeting.
It's your third meeting when you learn more about the person she's missing. You make a passing comment without really thinking. It's only then that you realize how much more willing you're to speak lately, usually being so reserved.
"When I was a kid, I used to think all ducks were yellow," you recount, your voice airy from reminiscing. "Then I found out only the ducklings are."
You let out a little giggle. Staring at the ducks slowly crossing the pond with little ducklings following behind, you think of the yellow duck drawing you made the day you first traded drawings. Your feet swing back and forth beneath the bench, your fingers curled tightly over the front edge of the wood.
It's a few moments before the heavy silence really hits you. You turn your head to look at Wanda. She's staring straight ahead at the pond. You track her eyes, finding that she's fixed on the tiny ducklings trailing behind the mother duck.
Her voice is shaky when she finally speaks.
"My precious baby thought the same thing," she says, a watery smile stretching across her face.
Precious baby.
You close your eyes, biting the inside of your mouth to stop the emotions threatening to surface. You haven't heard that phrase in fourteen years. Her smiling face immediately comes to mind—the way she would look down at you, crouching to be at eye level before gently stroking your cheek.
"My precious baby."
You always loved it when she called you that. Your lips would immediately curve into a wide grin before you called her your mommy.
Remembering it makes your heart ache for Wanda. From what she's told you, it seems she had to let go of someone she loved, just like you did.
You scooch a bit closer to Wanda, though a sliver of distance still remains between you. As you move, the scent of sweet flowers suddenly washes over your senses.
The swing set. Your cheek pressed against her shoulder.
Your head snaps up, looking for the source, but the tree branches above you just sway gently. It must be the breeze, you think wryly.
But it's that familiar, comforting scent that gives you the confidence.
You reach out, your fingers gently tugging on the hem of Wanda's blouse.
She turns to you. Her green eyes are wide, glimmering with unshed tears, and her mouth is slightly agape. She looks at you as if she's staring straight at a ghost from her past. You figure she must be reminiscing just like you are.
"I'm sure she's out there thriving," you say, your voice adamant despite the slight tremble of your shyness.
Wanda holds her gaze on you, not saying a word. You peer up at the sky, anxiousness setting in the longer she stays silent. Maybe you shouldn't have said anything.
It's only when you feel Wanda's warm palm settle against your cheek that you meet her eyes again. Her expression is soft, her lips curved into a gentle smile. But it's the delicate affection in her green eyes that makes your heart jump. It's how you know she's only looking at you, completely tuning out the crowds of people sitting on the grass and walking by the pond.
Her thumb brushes your cheekbone before tracing lower, brushing slowly against your bottom lip instead.
You feel her movement freeze suddenly. The affection in her eyes remains, but you can see a layer of guilt churning just beneath the surface. She pulls her thumb away from your lip but keeps her palm resting against your cheek.
"I'm sure she is," Wanda whispers. Her voice sounds hopeful, but it's swirling with an array of heavy emotions you can't decipher.
—
With every meeting, you and Wanda only become closer.
Sometimes you’d catch her staring at you in your peripheral vision whenever you looked up at the sky. Watching the clouds drift by and finding shapes in them had become a habit again, just like when you were younger. On clear days, letting the blue expanse amaze you cleared your mind.
You figure that maybe the person Wanda misses used to do the same. The first time you noticed her doing that, you’d honestly felt a bit uncomfortable, but a mixture of guilt lay within that as well.
Because you weren't the person she was thinking of. Maybe seeing you was hurting her more.
It wasn't like you couldn't relate.
After the day Wanda had brushed your lip with her thumb, her touches became more constant. Sometimes she’d rub away the crumbs at the corner of your mouth after you ate a pastry. Sometimes she’d run her fingers through your hair and carefully move stray strands out of your face. Sometimes, when you were sharing a funny customer interaction, her hand would land on your thigh, squeezing it gently as she laughed.
Shame would creep up your neck when your body reacted. You’d press your thighs together, trying to ignore the ache settling in your lower stomach. Your chest warmed from the familiar, comforting touch that you'd only experienced from Her, but now you were feeling the exact same way from Wanda.
Some days, you felt like you were betraying the person you had been forced to leave behind. Even after you were fostered, you had never found that same love. It was a rare, safe feeling that you had reserved just for Her.
But here you were, opening your heart up in the exact same way to someone else.
It was a constant push and pull. You keep reminding yourself that Wanda is a completely different person. They just happen to be similar. You weren't replacing Her. You refuse to.
And it wasn't like you could just walk away from Wanda now. Even in the short period of time you've known her, you've become deeply attached. You sought Wanda out whenever you needed advice, had questions about your university classes, or really just wanted to talk about anything at all. She listened every single time, even when the things you said didn't make much sense or lead anywhere.
Wanda's touch was always kind, but slowly, it began to cross the blurry boundaries between you two. Her hand began to linger higher up your thigh, holding it there and squeezing occasionally. You remembered the intense heat burning through your skin the first time she did it. But whenever you looked up at her, her green eyes were always full of that same gentle, consuming affection.
Sometimes when she looked into your eyes in these moments, her gaze would immediately avert, her lips curving downward like she was upset with herself. She'd blink a few times, her eyes brightening more with every blink before she'd look at you again and let her fingers curve around your thigh confidently.
You know this desire you feel for Wanda is twisted. Wanda reminded you of the only mother figure you had in your life. But, you like Wanda, and being around her feels like you're creating memories that you should've had with Her.
—
It's a month and a half later when you first slip up and tell Wanda a little bit about Her.
You're sitting on the park bench like usual, your arm pressed against Wanda's. You and Wanda had started a book series together. Wanda had the second volume in her hand, reading aloud to you. Your head slowly drifted to the side until it landed on Wanda's shoulder.
You noticed you'd been doing this more often, subconsciously, finding comfort in Wanda whether it be emotionally or physically.
You could hear the smile in her voice as she continued reading. Birds chirped in the distance. Children giggled behind you. But Wanda's voice drowned them all out. It reminded you of sitting outside with Her in front of the swing sets, sitting in her lap as she read one of your picture books to you while pointing at the pictures she liked. You found yourself speaking before you could even think to stop.
"This reminds me of when I was a kid," you murmur wistfully, closing your eyes.
"Did someone else use to read for you?" Wanda asks, her voice unusually tight.
You nod softly, your cheek swishing against her shoulder. "Mhm," you confirm, your voice relaxed. "My mo—"
Your eyes widen. Your posture straightens out. Gnawing lightly on your bottom lip, you look away. You've never talked about Her with anyone before. It felt sacred, like something that was just for you. Your hand tightens around the front of your shirt.
It's confusing. All these habits you used to have starting to come back since you met Wanda.
Wanda’s hand envelops yours, her touch gentle but firm as she coaxes your fingers to release the fabric of your shirt. Sliding her palm against yours, she interlocks your fingers together. She rubs her thumb in slow circles against the back of your hand.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about the person you miss," she starts slowly. "But if you do... I'm always here, darling." You turn your head automatically, wanting to see Wanda's face that always manages to comfort you.
You don't know how she knew who you were talking about. It feels like Wanda is able to read you with a single glance. It makes you a bit anxious if she can see the feelings you have for her that are muddied by your past.
You meet Wanda's eyes. She's looking at you with an aching softness that you can feel in your bones. Your shoulders droop, melting at the comforting warmth coming from her hand.
Tears glisten in your eyes despite yourself.
It's confusing.
The complicated, messy feelings swirling inside you. There's the intense comfort you're receiving from Wanda, slammed right against the terrifying feeling that you're somehow betraying Her.
But you find your fingers tightening, squeezing Wanda's hand anyway. The motion reminds you instantly of when you used to swing Her hand back and forth while walking around the playground. You tilt your chin up, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill over your lashes.
You hear Wanda inhale shakily. Maybe this is too troublesome for her, you think, trying even harder to rein in your rogue emotions.
Suddenly, Wanda pulls you in closer by your interlocked hands. Her free hand rises to rest firmly against your cheek, her fingers spanning your jaw as she tilts your face up to force you to look at her.
"It's okay to cry," she whispers, her tone incredibly low and soothing. "My baby."
Your eyes widen, a wave of panic hitting you. You know Wanda is probably just seeing someone else in you. You know you shouldn't be letting her call you that. Only one person was ever allowed to use that title.
But you don't stop her.
Instead, a consuming warmth blooms from your chest and outwards. You squeeze her hand tighter. Her thumb brushes slowly against your lips as she gazes down at your mouth. You expect her to freeze like she usually does after a few moments. For the guilt to make her pull away.
But this time, she just continues.
—
Every time you come back to your apartment after meeting Wanda, you always go straight to your desk. You pull out the bottom drawer, running your fingers along the rough, waxy lines of the crayon sketches.
The guilt is starting to ease the longer you meet with her.
This isn't you replacing her, you remind yourself, staring down at the stack of drawings. You're finding something else in Wanda.
You try to ignore the nagging question in your head—the one threatening to shatter the fragile resolution you've finally found.
But what is it that you're finding in Wanda, then?
—
You're sitting on the park bench with Wanda. Your legs are stretched across her lap, your hand locked firmly in hers. Her other hand rests on your knee, her fingers pressed against the bare skin of your inner thigh.
She's telling you about her day while you listen silently, absorbing every word. Your gaze tracks the ducklings as they follow the mother duck across the surface of the pond. Something about the scene makes you speak up suddenly, cutting Wanda off right in the middle of her sentence.
"—and then he told the staff that he knew me, and that I would—"
"Wanda," you interject.
Her eyes widen, her mouth parting slightly as she turns to look at you. You're normally polite, always staying quiet and listening intently until she finishes her thoughts.
"Yes, baby?" she responds, her voice soft but clearly confused by the interruption.
You turn your head toward her. Your heart hammers against your ribs, the sudden rush of adrenaline making your throat tight as the question finally slips past your lips.
"What are we doing?"
She tilts her head, her expression full of feigned confusion, but her eyes tell you everything. She knows exactly what you're referring to.
"We're spending time together," she says with a light chuckle. She brings your joined hands up to her mouth, pressing a soft kiss against the back of your hand.
"I… I know that," you start, your confidence beginning to wane. "I just mean..."
You trail off. You can't bring yourself to say it out loud. You can't ask if she's projecting, or tell her that she somehow makes you feel the exact same safety your mommy did while you also crave a romantic connection. Instead, you just freeze under her gaze, your lower lip trembling slightly.
Wanda leans in closer to you. Her hand slides higher up your thigh until her index finger rests right in the deep crevice where your leg meets your hip. Your breath hitches when she taps her finger in slow, rhythmic beats against the sensitive skin there.
"I know I shouldn't feel this way," she starts. Her face showing the conflicting, messy emotions that are churning inside you. "Not when you remind me..."
She trails off, refusing to finish the sentence. Her lips curve into a soft, vulnerable smile.
"But being with you brings me so much joy," she whispers, her thumb grazing your hip. "I love when you get crumbs all over your lips and I have to brush them away for you. I love when your feet swing under the bench when you're happy. I love hearing your little ramblings. Can that just be enough for now?"
She looks at you, her green eyes wide, desperate, and hopeful.
"Being with you makes me happy too," you admit in a whisper.
Wanda beams at you, the warmth of her hand making your own lips curve upward as well.
Suddenly, a sharp vibration buzzes against your side. You pull out your phone, finding a new text message from your parents. They've been reaching out more often lately. Something about wanting to make up for the time they should've spent being real parents to you.
Are you okay for rent this month? We can send money if you need. Let's meet sometime to catch up over a meal.
You release a tired sigh as you read the text from your adoptive dad.
"Everything okay?" Wanda asks, her voice tinged with worry.
You lock your phone screen without responding to him, looking up with a small smile that falls flat. "Everything's okay," you respond, trying to keep your tone bright. "It's just my parents."
Wanda's hand tightens around your upper thigh suddenly, making you jolt slightly on the bench.
"Did they need something?" Wanda asks.
Her voice is colder than you've ever heard it. The gentle, soft lines of her face are completely gone, her lips pulled into a rigid line.
"Yeah..." you start slowly, still in shock from the sudden shift. "They were just checking to see if I have enough for rent. And... if I want to meet up for a meal."
Her fingers tighten even more against your skin, making a sudden swarm of butterflies erupt in your lower stomach. You try to look away, but Wanda releases your joined hands, bringing her palm up to scoop your jaw and tilt your chin back up.
Her eyes are incredibly dark as she stares down at you. You know you should probably feel afraid of the intensity radiating off her, but instead, the butterflies morph into a low, throbbing ache that makes you shift slightly.
"If you don't have enough for rent, then I can take care of it," she says. Her gaze never wavers, making you realize she's dead serious.
You release a shaky laugh. "I'm okay for rent, Wanda. I promise."
"Then are you meeting them for a meal?" she asks quickly, her tone demanding as she watches your eyes intently.
You shake your head as much as you can while she holds your face in her palm. "No. There's no need to," you start, a wry smile pulling at your lips before you grin up at her. "I'd rather eat with you."
You wonder if she knows just how true that is.
Her tight grip finally releases on your face and your thigh. She uses her thumb to softly stroke the skin of your chin where she had held a little too hard. Before you can even blink, she leans down, pressing a lingering kiss against your chin before pulling back with a thoroughly satisfied smile.
"I'll have to take you somewhere nice then," she says simply, the warmth returning to her voice.
She pinches your cheek lightly between her index finger and thumb. Your eyes close automatically, your head leaning heavily into her hand at the familiar gesture.
You both sit there like that for a long while. Her hand remains resting on your thigh, while her other hand releases the soft skin of your cheek, pressing her warm palm against your face instead. You giggle brightly when the tiny ducklings try to snuggle up against the mother duck's feathers.
Wanda chuckles beside you, her thumb stroking your cheek delicately like you're something precious.
"What's funny, baby?" Wanda's voice raises a pitch, like the way you naturally do when you're speaking to a child. But for some reason, it doesn't bother you. It reminds you of Her and the way her voice would brighten when she'd see you.
You turn your head, giving Wanda a cute, little smile without really thinking about your words.
"They look like us."
Her eyes soften immediately, and she leans forward to press her lips softly against your cheek. "They do," she agrees, pulling back just enough to give you a smile filled with pure affection.
You both stare at the pond for a while, until Wanda glances down at her watch. You hear her take in a sharp breath before she finally releases your face. Her hand slides away from your inner thigh, leaving a sudden, chilling patch of cold skin behind.
"I'm sorry, baby, but I have to go now," she says quickly, though the profound softness remains in her voice.
Your lips instantly jut out in a pout. You move your legs off her lap, shifting on the wooden bench so you're sitting properly again. "Okay," you respond, your voice quiet and tinged with sadness. "I'll see you next time."
You force a wide smile onto your face, desperately reminding your frantic mind that you'll see her again soon.
She stands up, turning around to give you one last bright smile. "See you later, alligator," she says, her voice raised to that higher pitch again.
"Bye-bye, mommy," you respond automatically, waving your hand at her.
It's only when Wanda takes a few slow steps down the gravel path that your blood turns to ice.
Wanda freezes, suddenly coming to a stop. It feels like everything around you has paused, only Wanda's motions continuing. She turns around slowly to face you.
"S-Sorry," you stutter, your pulse hammering in your throat making your mouth turn dry. "I don't know why I said that."
She stares at you. Her green eyes are blown wide, her mouth agape as she looks at you with breathless intensity.
"Are you—"
"Moya lyubov, I'm here to pick you up," a raspy voice sounds from right behind Wanda.
Wanda's mouth freezes, but she doesn't turn around, her eyes staying on you. Your heart is beating erratically, the pounding of it almost making your ribs ache.
"Wanda?" the voice asks, but she still doesn't move, like her gaze can't leave your body.
You lean forward slightly, meeting a pair of green eyes, slightly more vibrant than Wanda's. Her hair color is similar to Wanda's, but this woman wears a power suit, nothing like the comfortable, modest clothing you see Wanda wear.
The woman walks past Wanda to you, shaking Wanda out of her stupor.
"Natash—"
"Hi, you must be the one that Wanda's been talking about," the woman starts. "I'm Natasha. Wanda's wife." Natasha lifts her hand up to you for a handshake.
Your hand lifts automatically, though it feels like your mind has gone completely blank. You shake her hand, her firm grip doing nothing to bring you back to reality.
Wife? you think frantically.
Your gaze darts down to Wanda's left hand, tracking a gold band resting on her ring finger. A ring you're absolutely certain you've never seen on her hand before today.
Then what was all of this? Eating together at restaurants, sitting side by side. Holding hands at farmer's markets because Wanda didn't want you to get lost. All the conversations you've had here a this bench.
Natasha's hand continues to hold yours in a firm grip. She scans your face, observing you closely.
"I can see why Wanda is so taken with you," she says with a small smile, though there's something else brewing behind her eyes.
You look past her to Wanda. Her eyes are wide, her face pale, like she's been caught in a terrible lie.
But Natasha knows about you. Wanda's talked to her about you.
You look back at Natasha. She doesn't look angry. Rather, she looks down at you with pity in her eyes, her lips pulled downward. The betrayal you expect to see on her face, replaced by something else entirely, sends your mind into a blur.
"What…" you start, your voice barely a whisper.
What did you just get yourself into?
—
A/N: *laughs nervously* a bit morally ambiguous here huh? i was going to make it a bit spicier, but i felt like it was a waste of the concept to rush it. idk if i'm going to leave this as a one-shot or make it into a miniseries of sorts. let me know what you think ♡
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
summary: sometimes letting go is harder than holding on. when two married dominants quietly dismantle the life you’ve spent years building around self-reliance, you’re forced to decide whether being cared for is as terrifying as it feels, or as freeing as they’ve promised.
au/background: you’ve always known what submission was. wanting it has never been a problem—but letting someone have it was. years of taking care of yourself have made independence feel like the safest route to life. then comes wanda and natasha—married dominants who don’t expect perfection, only honesty, patience, and a willingness to meet them halfway.
this series will start in an already established relationship through snapshots of time. anything from quiet moments, difficult conversations, gentle (or not so gentle) lessons that come with learning trust, and allowing yourself to be cared for.
authors note: welcome to my newest wandanat au <3 i’m very, very excited for this one. we talk about submission a lot, but something i don’t think we highlight much is the struggle sometimes to fully let go and let someone hold us. this au will be dedicated to moments with softer dominance (though there will still be strict & hard moments as well) and all around healthy dynamics.
summary — the first test of your relationship is upon you — a fourth of july party combining both wanda and natasha’s friend group since their breakup years before. something you’d once felt nothing but excitement for rattles your bones now, but wanda and natasha are always up for some not so innocent monkey business if it means calming your nerves
warning(s) — established relationship(s), alternate universe, messy wandanat, polyamorous relationships, threesomes, switch!wanda, implied anxiety disorders, punishment, maybe littlespace, kissing, sexual advances, teasing, domestic dominance, stuffed animals, domestic fluff, useless lesbians, daddy kink, mommy kink, kind of ageplay/kind of not, inspection kink, humiliation, threat of restraint, implied size kink, showering, vaginal fingering, scoldings, shower sex, orgasm denial, barbecues, natasha in a bikini top and trunks, exhibitionism, ass groping, swimming, temperature play, slight/alludes to piss kink + holding kink, beefy!nat, degradation kink, praise kink, dom/sub dynamics, nipple teasing, campfire cuddling, light subspace, perhaps a little voyeurism, pussy slap (singular), whining, dirty talk (like a lot), innocent!reader, hickeys, smut, consent is always implied, there’s more, but you get the hint, men/minors dni
authors note — hi, so, uh… i decided that throwing you into this au was the best course of action, so we’re officially just flying by the seat of our pants here. first ride back on the saddle, so this one got a little bit away from me… as in… it was not supposed to be this horny (or long), but i’d love to know what you thought!
wc — 21.1k
“I don’t think Natty will mind just one missing.”
Wanda has always been entranced by how softly you exist. The windows are open throughout the house; Natasha has the air-conditioning off everywhere besides the recently refinished basement permissively. The heatwave that had settled over New York for the last two weeks had cleared abruptly last night for the forecast today, and you’d all been in agreement to take advantage of the breeze that drifted through the branches. Your hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail preemptively, though your cheeks were flush regardless of the attempt to stay cool. The kitchen counter was your chosen sanctuary from the heat — you’re learning that your medication hates anything above seventy-eight degrees fahrenheit. You’re going to ask Natasha for two french braids later, you’ve already told Wanda all about it, but for now you sit on the counter sporting a messy ponytail and baby hairs that cling to your temple, naked feet swinging against the white oak cabinets creating hollow thumps with an undeniable rhythm to them. You look soft as Wanda looks up from her cutting board to assess your seriousness. It takes her back a breath; leads you to believe you’d gotten somewhere.
“See, and I think she will.” Wanda waves her knife around with a kind of finesse you’ve only seen exaggerated by Mother Gothel in the tower. If her hips weren’t concealed by the island she leaned against, you’d be sure they were swaying with a seductive taunt.
She’s cutting up strawberries for the fruit salad Yelena requested. It’s the last fruit before she’s done. She’s placed you in charge of making sure no flies sneak into the big mixing bowl before she can put the lid on and stick it in the refrigerator. Yelena will know if a fly has touched even one diced peach.
Your clammy cheeks fill with air. The glittery lipgloss you’d lathered on thick settles into the wrinkles of your lips as you purse them petulantly. Your eyebrows that she’d plucked meticulously last night furrow downward cutely, though she supposes they're meant to convey your anger; dejection clear as day on your porcelain features. Wanda Maximoff envies your complexion. The sun bounces off your high points angelically, the sheen of heat that tints you pink effortless and charming. “I’ll take a cherry one!” It’s a good tactic. Nobody likes the cherry one. But Wanda’s not in the business of breaking to you.
Her eyes cool. The delicious green that reminds you of the center of a fresh and perfectly ripe kiwi becomes emerald; dark, captivating, albeit chilling. The pucker of your lips becomes a pout as your shoulders sink beneath the weight of her gaze becoming a stare. “What did Natty tell you?”
Your arms cross over your belly. The only tell that it's an act of protection and not defiance is the way your open palms wrap around your midsection, nervous fingernails digging into soft flesh that pools over white-knuckle digits from the pressure. What is an act of defiance is the way your heels kick harder into the cabinets off rhythm. The thumps are less hollow now, but they fail to deliver the attitude you’re suddenly convinced you can emulate. Wanda wants to laugh. She will laugh later. Just not right now.
“Do that again and you’re off my counter.” It’s not a threat but a promise. Your chest swells with something tight and convincing. It wants to act. To lash out. It’s warm and you hate it but it feels like you have to listen to it. “What did Natty tell you about the popsicles?” She can see the frustration welling up inside of you like helium filling a cheap latex balloon. She chooses to take pity on you as your nails dig harder into your sides, a habit they’d both tried every method in the book to try to help you stop.
“That I had to wait until the party because there wasn’t anymore of the kind that I like at the store if I ran out before the end of the night.” Somehow, you’ve found a way to keep the air in your cheeks as you answer her, and Wanda doesn’t try to fight the wrinkle of amusement that tugs at the corner of her lips as she watches you try to figure out how you can control this situation, still not entirely willing to just let her be the one to think.
Wanda hums, looking back down at her strawberries. Yelena really is lucky she loves her. There’s at least five pounds of hand diced fruit sitting between both counters in the kitchen now. “And the last time we didn’t have any during a pool day, you passed out in the pool. So having one right now is not an option no matter how cute you look all grumpy.”
Wanda notices the way your eyes roll, but she chooses to let you think you’ve gotten away with your attitude as she uses the back of the knife to clear more space on her board for the last handful of strawberries. Natasha had done an impeccable job picking them out at the store. Years of heated lecturing had seemed to finally pay off.
The grey shorts you’d chosen to throw over your bathing suit gap around your thighs as you sit on the kitchen counter, occasionally glancing down at the large glass bowl. Your hands shoved a couple of flies away in the time you’d been sitting out here with Wanda, but nothing extensive or stimulating. Wanda peaks at the ties of your bikini bottoms poking out from between the fabric, the festive color scheme you’d chosen perfect for the holiday ahead of you. Your attention is waning as the minutes seem to take longer to pass the more your mind thinks about how your head is spinning and your face is hot and a popsicle would taste so good right now. They’re some fancy kind that Natasha buys at this specific shoppe in Manhattan. She’d introduced you to them the first week of summer, just six weeks after you’d started medication. They’re the only popsicles you’ll eat, and the only cold treat you can stomach when heatstroke is beginning to claim you as a victim. Their avoidance of you having one isn’t malicious. It’s tactical. But you’ve been nervous about this party for weeks. It’s the first time you’re throwing a party as a couple. It’s the first time they’re throwing a party for all of their individual and combined friend groups since getting back together. They’re convinced there’s nothing to prove by keeping appearances up, but you’ve been overworked for days just thinking about all the ways this could go wrong.
“Get your little fingers out of my fruit.” Wanda chastises without even glancing up. Her knife slices through the last strawberry top just as your foot kicks the cabinet beneath you. Your cheeks fill with air again, but this time anger is portrayed clearly across your face, as is a glint of something innocent and traumatized beneath your eyes. Wanda wants to kill all the people who made you into this, even if it heals something inside of her that’s broken at the hands of similar treatment. “You’re all done. Go sit on the couch and wait for Natty to come inside and braid your hair.”
“But I was just—” You try to argue, panic rising in your chest as Wanda sends you away. Natasha’s out in the backyard fixing the last of the tents she’d dug out of storage. Apparently, there was once a time her company hosted a lot of barbecues for the families. Regardless of why she has them, assembly had taken almost the entirety of the morning, her appearances within the house coming few and far between
“Testing limits that you know won’t budge.” Wanda cuts you off, setting her knife down on the cutting board and pressing flat palms into the island. It’s a move of subtle dominance. Her chin twists as she tilts her gaze at you, almost daring you to tell her she's wrong. “Go wash your hands and wait on the couch.”
“Can I go sit with Natty?” You shrink into yourself as your hands grab the edge of the counter, tears feeling like they want to well up in your eyes as you stare back at Wanda with an innocent hopelessness. You’re almost there. Almost past the verge of trying so hard to protect yourself from emotions you just need the space to feel and let pass.
She shakes her head. Her hair is in a bun at the top of her head. There are a couple curly strands that fall to frame her face and cover the single studded piercings she has in her lobes. She wears a button up as a coverup, and it’s splashed with pineapple juice that exists with a yellow-hue, but she still looks perfect. “Where did I tell you to go?”
“B-But—”
“You do not want to bring butts into this, Sunshine. Yours will be mighty pink if that's the route you want to take.” Wanda warns and your cheeks redden from heat, but not the kind brought by the brightness of the sun that shines without clouds to cover its rays. Butterflies bloom in your belly and up through your chest, a soft and sweet whine crawling up your throat as you shake your head.
“No.” You whisper, plead. Your soft eyes match Wanda’s stare, teary and bright as they glisten from across the room. Wanda has no intentions of spanking you. She’s never laid a hand on you in this state. But you’ve expressed that it’s not a hard no. That you trust them both enough to decide when you’re showing signs of needing something more than your brain can handle giving you alone. “No please.” She can see the panic becoming desperation, but she can’t get the words out fast enough. You’re dissolving into a headspace that she cherishes, but knows you need guidance to see through, otherwise it gets messy, and it takes days for you to pull yourself out of a darkness that consumes your soul miserably.
She smiles softly, nodding her head toward the living room with a look that you’ve been yearning for since you started pushing buttons. “Then get that little butt on the couch and take a couple of minutes to breathe with Monkey.”
“Okay.” You whisper, sliding off the counter with your head pointed toward the floor. God, Wanda loves you more than words can even describe.
“Come give me a kiss first.” She commands and you don’t have to be told twice, making a b-line for her warm body that’s standing between the kitchen and the living room. Her body is warm as you wrap your arms around her waist and lean into her chest. She holds you up as you collapse into her, possessive hands feeling the muscles and soft skin on your back. Her lips are warm and void of any kind of chapstick as they press into yours. She tastes only of coffee, but unlike Natasha, her cups always swirled with sugar and half-and-half. She tastes sweet. “Good girls don’t need to be told more than once, right?” She questions inches from your lips, her warm breath fanning across your face as she pulls away from the kiss. You can only manage a nod, your doe eyes blinking up at Wanda lazily. “Natty’ll come get you when she’s ready. Go show me you can be good.”
“Okay.” You whisper, dazed.
Wanda smiles, shaking her head with a soft laugh. “Okay.” She repeats.
-
Natasha comes inside half-an-hour later. You’ve forgotten that you were supposed to be waiting for her by the time she stumbles inside, red faced, braids frizzy, skin gleaming. Your fingers comb through the soft fur of your companion, eyes fixated on a television screen that plays a movie from the early two-thousands you haven’t seen in a couple of years. Your legs are curled up to your body, thighs damp with sweat that continues to build as you produce and subsequently trap more and more heat.
Natasha’s filthy. There’s dirt caked beneath her nails, mulch clinging to flyaways at the nape of her neck, and something suspiciously green around her left kneecap. Wanda’s almost twitching from the kitchen where she watches you fondly as she preps another jug of lemonade; this request per Kate Bishop, but she pauses to acknowledge the recognition that washes across Natasha’s features as she takes in the sight of you so anxiously perched on the couch.
They’ve told you a million times this party isn’t as big a deal as your brain has made it out to be, but it seems you’re failing to ground yourself in that comfort even still.
“Ona boretsya s etim. Izo vsekh sil. (She’s fighting it. Hard.)” Wanda informs. Natasha frowns as the lick of russian wets her ears and provokes goosebumps across her clammy skin abruptly. Her attention bounces to Wanda, an understanding heaviness settling in her almost-blue almost-green eyes.
They’ve gone down this road with you before. The road that is watching as past traumas haunt you even decades later. They’ve equally and individually learned how fear will sometimes freeze you like a baby deer in headlights — fawn and freeze; at the same time. They know you want to believe them about this party and its casualty, but your brain won’t let you without help.
“What’re we watching?” There’s a slight pant to Natasha’s smooth tone. Wanda catches it from across the house, but you’re indifferent to her exhaustion as your eyes stay fixated on the screen.
“I dunno.” Your shoulders shrug on their own. It’s a nervous habit you’ve said you acquired in middle school. You settle farther into the couch cushions with the unintentional movement, and subconsciously you bring your nail to your lips.
Natasha watches you fondly, wanting so desperately to stay here a while longer in the sunlight, but a bead of sweat falling down her spine dismantles the image she romanticizes. “You don’t know, huh?” Still she taunts you gently, a mischievous twinge to her thin voice. She needs water and a cold shower desperately, and by the flush in your cheeks she can tell you wouldn’t mind one either.
You don’t answer her immediately, eyes locked on the television screen, one hand brushing through the fur of your stuffed companion, and the other at your mouth, remnants of an unpainted nail chipping onto your tongue. Natasha waits patiently. Wanda puts the lemonade in the fridge and begins conquering the dishes that piled up in the sink. You never end up answering. Wanda lets Natasha be the one to tackle that.
Natasha clicks her tongue against her teeth as she watches you melt farther and farther into the couch cushions, your grip on your stuffed animal getting tighter and tighter as your focus narrows. “I asked you a question, Sunshine.”
“Mhmm.” You nod, humming sweetly around your thumb as your eyes blink. You don’t notice the bead of sweat that drips from your hairline. Natasha does.
“Three. Two—”
Your eyes widen, bottom lip quivering as your eyes snap to find Natasha’s figure in the room as the second number registers in your brain. “—No! Why! I wasn’t even doing anything!” Your voice is high, whiny. Wanda quirks an eyebrow at the sink but keeps her eyes on the dishes that sud beneath the water pressure.
Natasha shifts her stance, her hips swaying as she turns her head at you. “That’s the problem, solnechnyy svet. (Sunshine.) I asked you a question.”
“Oh.” You frown, biting harder on your thumb as your cheeks flush with defeat, your eyes glancing down at your tight hold on the monkey in your lap.
“Fingers out of your mouth.” Natasha chastises. She expects you to whine, but instead you comply with a pout she’ll allow, resuming your nervous fiddling with both hands now. “Turn your movie off and come take a shower with me. You feeling like you need a snack?” She’s hoping to soften the blow of redirection with the promise of a snack, and it works enough to get the television off but not your butt off the white cushions.
“Popsicles?” You question, eyes bright, so innocent as they blink spritely.
“I already told you to wait for once we get outside, right? It’s going to be a hot day today. You don’t want to have to eat Wanda’s yucky healthy ones later, do you?” Natasha makes a face of disgust that’s meant to appease your sadness, but her eyes snap back to Wanda across the kitchen when the sokovian can’t keep her commentary to herself any longer.
“Mommy also just told you no. Twice.” Her voice is sharp. The title rolls off her tongue heavily. Your core clenches, heat burns in your belly, your cheeks flush with something you can’t quite name or explain, just feel. And oh, do you feel it. Your eyes drop to your lap. Natasha’s silly expression settles into stone.
“Up the stairs. Now.” She demands strictly, leaving no room for argument in her tone as she points a finger toward the large wooden staircase. Your heart sinks into your belly at the harshness. “Bring Monkey.” She adds when you stand without the companion, fingers curled into nervous balls at your sides.
“Monkey.” You repeat softly, unconsciously. Your hand juts out to grab Monkey, shaky fingers curling around a plush tail instead. Wanda watches from the kitchen. Natasha watches from the stairs. They both shake their heads at your insistence to carry him by his tail. Natasha’s already sewn it back on twice.
“Hold him nicely.” She corrects. Clearly they’ve allowed you too much control. If you’re going to show them you can’t handle it anymore, she’s happy to take it back. There’s nothing she loves more than filling this role for you; with you. It heals something in her too to be the one that teaches emotional regulation. To be the one that's chosen when somebody else is dysregulated.
You hold his arm, specifically the left one, the one that looks like it’s going to be the next limb to fall off the decades old stuffed monkey. Natasha exhales, “Hold him nicely, or Daddy will hold him.”
Your brows furrow as you adjust your hold for the third time, squeezing Monkey’s brown body to your chest instead. “Thank you.” Natasha doesn’t emphasize her appreciation like she typically would, and she watches how your bottom lip pouts just the slightest bit as you stand beneath her fiery eyes. “Our bathroom. Let’s go, we’re running out of time if you want two braids.”
Natasha waits for you to step in front of her before she begins climbing the stairs, shooting Wanda one last look over her shoulder before her attention narrowed solely to you. She wants to laugh at how you walk aimlessly up the stairs, the muscles in your biceps bulging as you distract yourself with Monkey’s matting fur. You’ve either completely forgotten where she’s asked you to go, or you’re not paying attention to the surrounding areas because you stumble past the bedroom with a dazed indifference that makes Natasha question where you’d end up going if she let you continue on.
“Our bathroom is this way.” Natasha quips sharply, her voice echoing through the quiet upstairs hallways. A couple of doors are open — the guest bedroom, both bathrooms, and the laundry room — but the ones that are closed shoot her strict tone right back into your little ears.
You scamper back to her, cheeks red, eyes glassy and dazed. Monkey looks like he’s suffocating in your tight, anxious hold. Natasha’s heart breaks at the sight of you so worked up over something you’d once thought was going to be so much fun. You’re almost there. Almost drowning in the trust you’ve spent years establishing with them — with her. But it seems she still needs to play her hand harder. Still needs to remind you how deeply you’ve accepted the purity and genuinity of their intentions.
Her hands grab your face without warning. Your eyes widen, starry and glossy as you look up at her. Her thumbs holding your cheeks force your lips to pucker and separate the slightest bit. You look delicious between her touch. Your tongue sweeps against your bottom lip. The muscle is wet, pink. Natasha waits to speak for a moment. She lets silence sit between your bodies as she watches you try to keep yourself together miserably. Your shoulders relax and then tense. Your eyebrows furrow and then ease. You’re fighting yourself, not her. She takes a moment to ground herself in that quiet confirmation.
“Be a good girl.” It’s all she says. All she expects from you right now. It weighs a ton. Maybe two. It hits your lungs like a bullet. Air seems to seep from your lips like a punctured balloon. You deflate in Natasha’s hold.
Her thumb pulls at your bottom lip as she changes the way she holds your face. It’s strong still, but less controlling, more passionate, dominating. Your tongue juts out to taste the pad of her digit as she teases your mouth, pushing in just slightly enough to bring saliva down into the cracks in your lower lip. She pulls her touch away before skin makes contact with muscle. Her hands leave your face all together.
“Go put Monkey to bed. We don’t want Lucky getting him. Again” Natasha adds beneath her breath as you already begin to dip into the room, antsy to obey, to see where being good takes you now that she’s persuaded you with something you want. She knows how you work, how your body best responds; how to get what she wants from you without saying a word.
“Lucky only got him because Kate—” You gasp softly when Natasha pins you to the bed, walking up behind you with those stealthily quiet footsteps she knows you hate. You like hearing who's coming, when they’re coming. Monkey-Monkey falls out of your hands when her fingers squeeze your hips, guiding you to turn back toward her.
“Are you going to keep talking back or are you going to let me check the state of those bottoms you’ve got on?” Natasha tsks, unimpressed with your rebuttal that fell so quickly off your lips she thinks it was almost planned. You just can’t seem to help yourself today.
You swallow dryly, eyes glassing over more if that were in any way possible. Your lips part to answer but no words make it out. They close again loosely, eager eyes watching Natasha desperately, full of innocent anticipation.
“Tell me what you want.” Natasha demands evenly, not bending, not even so much as wavering beneath your doe-eyed stare. She never had. She never will. But it tempts her every time you bestow it upon her pent up form. ”What you’re going to let me do to you.”
“Let m- you— Let you check.” You stumble over your words, trying simply to reiterate them back to her before you realize the grammatical errors in that approach. Your cheeks flame as she laughs at you. It’s not a sweet laugh. Not a laugh that adores and cherishes you. It’s a laugh that demeans. A laugh that taunts. You wiggle on your naked feet. Thighs pressing together needily.
“Can’t even get the words out, can you? That embarrassed already?” She pauses for a moment if only to let you sit with the acknowledgement that she knows you’re embarrassed; with the confirmation that you should have something to be embarrassed about. “What do you need me to check, sunshine? What can’t Daddy trust you to take care of yourself?”
“My… my kitty.” Your cheeks flame brighter, hotter. Natasha’s eyes have a cruel sheen to them as her brown hair sticks to the drying sweat on her forehead, slowly beginning to peel away from her wrinkled skin that looks at you harshly, hotly, but not quite succeeding. Your voice cracks at the end of the admission, a shyness overcoming you that makes you quiet, softer. Natasha wants to take pity on you, her sunshine girl, but you know better than to fight it— them — like this.
“Say it like a big girl.” She insists, chin raising, veins and esophagus bobbing with the motion. Her clavicle pops, the muscles in her biceps flex. “Daddy wants to hear you say it like a big girl.”
“My pussy.” You whisper, eyes casting downward. Wanda needs to vacuum the rug. It’s losing its lines and stiffness. You know she’s been thinking about throwing it out anyways. It’s more upkeep than payoff anymore, she says.
“Put it together now.” Natasha’s unrelenting. Your thighs squeeze together harder, your cheeks burn hotter.
“I-I’m gonna let you touch my-my pussy.” You kick at the floor sheepishly, feeling small beneath her strong gaze, so small. She’s not all that tall. Wanda’s taller. But she’s big, defined, sure of herself.
Wanda shaved your pussy preemptively last night, and while bearing a bald cunt isn’t abnormal to you, it’s been a while since you’ve been so smooth you can feel every trickle of arousal as it leaves your clenching, pulsing, aching, empty hole. Your bottoms are soiled.
“Who am I?” Natasha croons, eyes evil. You whine, wiggling in your place. You shake your head, pleading with her to take mercy on you. She won’t. “Who am I, sunshine? What’s my name?”
“Daddy.” You answer, eyes finally looking up to meet hers again.
“Good girl.” Natasha concedes, giving you the briefest glimpse of genuine adoration as her eyes soften just the slightest and her posture becomes less tense; dominating. “On your back, knees to your chest.”
Goosebumps roll up your spine, you shiver with anticipation. It’s been a while since she’s pulled this card. Reminded you of your place so thickly.
The bedding is expensive, and it feels as such beneath your body as you ease your back into the center of the bed. Your bones shake as you reach for your knees, pulling them up to your chest with a flush to your cheeks and your bottom lip bitten in utter embarrassment. This position never gets any less humiliating. Her eyes on you like this never get any less unnerving. Your shorts that had been giving Wanda a show all morning do the same now, but gravity aids this time, and the draft that comes in from the central air provokes goosebumps across the innards of your thighs.
You keep your thighs together initially, but Natasha doesn’t let you seek comfort where it's not been permitted for long. She pries your thighs apart with a cruelness that weakens you, another pathetic whine slipping off of your lips and tongue as you writhe on the bed, entirely untouched aside from her fingertips dancing around your kneecaps.
“Don’t hide yourself from me.” She chastises, disapprovement clear in her eyes. “Little girls who don’t listen to their Daddy’s or their Mommy’s do not get to hide how slutty and misbehaved their little pussys are.” Her hand slaps down onto your cunt, your aching, quivering pussy before you can even register she’s let her attention fall away from your knees that bare the faintest scars from childhood.
Your hands jump to cover your core despite the layers of clothing that dampen the hit. Natasha tsks, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head, hovering over your quivering frame with a quiet stillness that speaks enough before words catch up to her.
“Try that again and Daddy’ll tell everyone when they get here that you’re finishing up a work call and we’ll see how long it takes you to remember you don’t touch what's mine unless I give you permission. I think we could get away with it for what? Thirty? Forty minutes?” Natasha drones on cynically, sadistically. “And the party doesn’t start for another hour. So that’s what? Over an hour and a half with your little pussy filled with Mommy’s red rabbit and your hands bound to the headboard? Wanna try that instead of what Daddy’s planning on doing to you now?”
Your head shakes, tears welling up in your eyes as your belly does a flip, so impossibly tight you can’t help but squirm beneath her, trying so hard to find friction for your aching clit.
“Words.” She’s relentless.
“No.” You stamper to respond, a single tear leaking out from your left eye as you shake your head in time with the trembling of your bones beneath Natasha’s hot grip. “No please.” It’s a desperate beg, a beg that quivers your voice and finally breaks Natasha’s reserve the slightest bit.
“I didn’t think so.” She tuts, standing up again to peer down at you. You look so beautiful like this, spread out on your back, your pussy and asshole only hidden by thin layers she’s about to strip. “Lift your hips.” She taps your hipbone gently, guiding you out of the shorts you’d slipped on sleepily that morning with Wanda. It’s no loss to you to be losing them, but you feel the slightest wave of upset crash over you as Natasha hums at the sight of your pussy beneath its bathing suit for the day, knowing you’re about to lose this too.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you had an accident, malen'koye solntse. (Little sun.)” She tsks, trailing a finger over the center of your bathing suit bottoms. She doesn’t apply any pressure at all, just lets her finger slide against the dampness of your bathing suit that looks like it's already taken a dip in the pool.
If you weren’t already embarrassed that would’ve done you all the way in. You whine pathetically, thighs trembling to close around her hand but she stops you with her body that she angles over top of you dominatingly — challengingly.
“Is that what this is, sunshine? Did you have an accident? Did Mommy not ask if you needed to go potty before she started cutting up fruit for Yelena’s salad?” Natasha’s faux sympathy fills you with something deliciously sweet and unbearable. You wiggle on the bed, eyes desperate, pleading. Your belly is so warm it feels like you’re going to explode. The hands that she’d pinned above your head race to cover your eyes, pathetic whines falling into the air. “Use your words.”
“I didn’t.” You whine, unable to help yourself, unable to stop it as you writhe on the bed, still untouched, only further achy and sore now. The slap still rings in your mind, and thus, your pussy still burns with the memory
“You didn’t what?”
Your little leg kicks petulantly, tears so pathetically close to falling brimming in your waterline as your breath hitches, your red cheeks filling with air the same way they had toward Wanda in the kitchen. Oh you need this, bad. “I didn’t have an accident!” You bellow, sounding so close to sobs Natasha wants to concede, but she doesn’t. She won’t.
“I don’t know who you think you’re raising your voice at, little girl, but it’s not going to be me.” She says instead of scooping you up into her arms and soothing the ache in your pussy that’s causing half of this fussiness from you. She’s not about to give in. You’d only be brattier if she gave in. You don’t want her to give in. You love every second of this. “Get up. Go to the bathroom. We don’t have much time anymore because someone’s wanted to make this difficult.”
Your belly sinks even further. Natasha meant for it to. She’s got twenty more minutes to get you down as deep as she can safely attain, and the rest is on you to choose what gets maintained, or how far you end up floating upward by the start of the party. She’s going to make the most of it while she can have you anyway she pleases. It’s not just your vulnerability on the line with this. It’s hers, it’s Wanda's.
“You come.” You croak, your lips pulling downward into the saddest pout Natasha’s ever seen
Her heart softens just a little, her lips pulling upward. “I’m coming. But we both need new bathing suits. Daddy’s not gonna let you walk around in those sticky bottoms.” She reassures, seeing the worry that comes from something deeper than just getting laid beneath your eyes that almost look through her from across the room. Your hands twitch at your sides. Your brain is working slow, hardly at all, the actions come before the sentences do. Natasha’s not needed the latter for a while though. “I know you wanted to wear that one, sunny.” She coos softly, knowing that yet another change and element of lost control wouldn’t be helpful, but genuinely trying to look out for you. Wanda had just shaved you clean, staying in wet fabric all day could only result in what Natasha would call diaper rash. “But, that leaky pussy of yours had other plans. So daddy’s going to pick out the red one that Mommy likes so much, and it’s going to be fine. Just a little hiccup. Blame your pussy.”
“I don’t want to blame my pussy.”
Natasha took it too far. She knew she did the minute she started teasing you lightly, humorously. Your brain is working overtime to catch up on the jokes, the changes, the lightness in the air. You’re so spaced out but coming to the light at the same time, and that’s the opposite of what she wants right now; what you need right now.
“If we’re going to start getting mouthy again, I can try my best to match your pussy to your suit. Do you want to start the part with a red, puffy, spanked pussy, sunshine?” Natasha snaps suddenly and she wishes she had a camera to capture how your whole body flinches with delight at her tone, looking like it's been sparked by a firework nobody knew had been set.
“No, Daddy.” You whisper, cunt clenching around nothing, more arousal leaking out, trailing between your pussy lips that glisten with what's already formed and only been made worse by pressing fingers.
“Naked by the time I get in there. Otherwise we’ll just have to test that theory anyway.” Natasha wants to see how you react, but she knows it’ll drive you crazy if she pretends not to care, so instead, she spins on her heels, finally taking off to look for the bathing suit she intends to wear, and the one she intends to dress you in. It’s a shame. The one you liked had been cute, but she’s not all that perturbed about the arrangements that led to this wardrobe change.
It’s cold in the bathroom, but your perception of time and fine motor skills are so out of whack at the moment that it takes you as long to strip as it does for Natasha to find the bathing suits she wants. Your ass is fully exposed when she comes in, your body bent in half as you carefully step out of the drawstring bottoms she’d preferred if you'd of pulled off that way. She doesn’t say anything about it, just takes in the sight of your ass presented so innocently, so unknowingly. Your pussy drips too. All the way down your thighs. You don’t realize that there’s a string of arousal leaking from your pulsing hole, too concerned about staying upright on your feet as you undress, but Natasha focuses on how it gets lower and lower to the floor, staying strong, unbreaking.
Her hand catches the middle of your back before you can stand up. You gasp, surprised by her presence again. Her hands are warm, soothing, dominating.
“Arch your back for me a little bit, sunshine.” She doesn’t tell you what she’s doing, doesn’t tell you that your pussy is so wet, there’s a string of wetness dripping from between the gap in your thighs. If she does, she knows your body will ruin it without meaning to. She knows the second she comments about how filthy her little girl's pussy is, you're going to flinch, tense, jerk, and your pretty thighs are going to smother that creamy string of arousal before she can see its limits. You don’t need to know. It may be your body, but it is her pussy. “Just like that, oh fuck, good girl. Good fucking good.” She moans when your skin curves away from her hand before her pressure follows you down, your ass pushes upward, your pussy flipping more toward the light, catching a draft that the simple motion of your body creates.
Natasha moans when it continues, growing longer and thinner as it leaks from your hole. Your body acts like nobody has touched you, like Wanda’s strap wasn’t buried to the hilt in your core last night. It marvels Natasha how you still act like it's the first time every time they touch you.
You whine when she continues to remain silent, just watching, not telling you anything nor allowing you to move. She shushes you, taking her hands and spreading the globes of your ass apart. It’s a subtle flex of ownership, established control. Your hole clenches, and this time, Natasha sees its tightness in all its glory, translucent arousal leaking from you mixed with that creamy delightfulness she’s watching bounce between your shaking thighs.
“Stay still.” She warns, unimpressed by the growing strength of your quivering. One wrong knock of your knees and her show is over prematurely. She spreads your ass farther, puckered hole opening just the slightest bit, round globes becoming white beneath the press of her fingers into your skin, like they’re searching for muscle, or maybe bone. She hums when it finally falls, landing on the floor with the soft splat that catches your attention and makes your cheeks burn brighter. Natasha smirks, satisfied with herself. “You’re so wet, sunshine.” She teases, letting go of your ass to dip her fingers into your pussy instead, scissoring them open just once before she curls them deep, keeping them scooped as she pulls out, leaving you with only a taste of what you could’ve had.
Natasha stands in front of you, sunlight cascading upon her and the slick that coats her fingers as she holds them up to the light, scissoring them open as she watches them fondly, hungrily.
“Such a messy girl.” She chastises, rubbing her fingers together. She leans forward finally, letting your body go, and reaches for the faucet, letting the water start running as she undresses carelessly, not sparing any careful consideration before spreading her cum covered fingers all over her shirt.
Your eyes watch as they join yours in a pile on the floor, but your attention is quickly brought back to Natasha as she guides you into the tub before the water fully warms. You whine, shivering as you step closer to her instinctively, shuddering as the lukewarm bursts paint you frigid. She giggles softly, not because she’d meant to startle you, but because she forgets not everyone grew up without access to hot water all the time. She still forgets it's okay to abuse that privilege now that she has it.
“Sorry, sweet girl. It’ll warm up soon. Let Daddy take your hair down while we wait, hm. Turn around for me.” Natasha coaxes you to face the wall, her damp hands easing the elastic out of your hair. It falls heavily, and she wastes no second to bury her fingers into your scalp, massaging away the tension that’d formed since early morning.
She eases you into washing your hair, and then conditioning it, lathering it thick with a hair mask she swears will keep it nice even with the salt water exposure. You don’t really pay attention much, taken away by the feeling of her fingers pulling and tugging at your hair, sometimes harder than they necessarily need to.
“Doing such a good job for me, angel. Such a good job, sunshine. Daddy’s just gonna wash your body now, okay? Stay facing the wall, don’t want any soap to get into your eyes.” Manipulating you into doing what she wants is so easy, especially when you’re like this. You don’t question that she’s already washed the shampoo out of your hair and the highest she’ll drag the wash cloth is your shoulders, just stay facing the wall as she reaches beside your head for the soap Wanda bought that smells like coconut and raspberries.
You gasp when you realize it's not a wash cloth she’s lathering your body with but the palm of her hand, her own body scrubbed to shit with her red loofa that hands besides Wanda’s black, though yours doesn’t receive the same treatment. Even though there's a yellow one of the same variety hanging beside theres, even though there’s a washcloth draped over the shower bar.
She pinches your nipples with a teasing disinterest, and your chest rises to meet her touch until she pulls away too soon. Too dreadfully soon. She leaves your nipples, now pebbled and aching, to smooth her touch beneath your breasts and down the valley of your tummy. Your breath hitches when her hand dips between your legs, massaging your wetness with explicit softness that turns your belly and warms your cheeks — both sets; every part of your body is alight with sparking light as Natasha pries your lips apart and massages her soapy hands into your core. She runs them down your thighs like nothing happens, and then back up to your cunt that weeps so pitifully. She tsks quietly, allowing the water the privilege of washing the soap and your arousal off of her hands and digits before she urges for your thighs to be spread wider again.
Her fingers are almost hot as they pinch and roll your clit with delicate interest. Your hips twitch when the rough palm of her hand catches it as she sinks the tip of her pointer finger into your cunt, twirling it around before pulling it out and repeating the process. “Shh, stay still baby. Stay still. Daddy’s gotta clean you up before we can get you ready for the pool.”
Your mind is too fuzzy to comprehend what she could mean by that, or what she could intend to be doing with her fingers between your legs that are only creating more wetness, but before you can ask, or even begin to formulate your own wild fantasies, Natasha walks you into the corner until your tits meet the cold tile, your hands bracing against the wall in shock as she wrestles the showerhead between your thighs she’d directed you to spread just moments ago. That makes sense now. It all makes sense now. As much as it can anyways.
Your hips thrash wildly the second she places the showerhead onto your clit, the jet set stream like a bullet shooting through you at full force with no mercy. Her chest keeps you still for the most part, her breasts, so full yet perfectly round on her chest, small enough to look flat beneath her button ups when she wears those bras from Nike, but plump enough for you to feel every raised bump and spec on her similarly puckered areolas that are pressing into your spin demandingly.
“Someone’s feeling jumpy, huh?” Natasha teases, directing the stream of water to your hole for only a moment, but enough of a moment to have you desperately pulling at her grip, arching away from her boobs as you whine and whimper at the sensations she’s causing while actively clearing away any traces of arousal — for now. “Oh, are you close, sunshine? Is Daddy getting you all nice and clean turning you on? Naughty girl. So naughty getting off to this. It feels good doesn’t it? Oh I know, sweet thing. I know it does. That little head doesn’t need to think about anything, it just needs to feel what Daddy’s doing. There you go, there you go.” Natasha drops her head into the crook of your neck, desperately sucking a decent sized hickey into your skin in a place that no bathing suit or photo angle would cover unless it was miraculously taken from the complete opposite angel in the dark.
“N-No! No p-please!” Your voice is quiet and dismayed as your hips cant to chase the showerhead she pulls away at the very last moment before an orgasm tears through your body. You were quivering before, you’re trembling now. The lick of sadistic enjoyment that filters through Natasha as she holds your denied body between her hands and smirks against the soft skin of your damp and sweet smelling neck.
“I told you, sunshine. We were just cleaning you up before the party starts. Did you forget?” Natasha mocks pitilessly, nipping your neck before she pulls away, turning the shower off too soon. “Silly girl.”
It gets cold immediately, like a blanket being torn from your body in the middle of a fall morning. You shiver, immediately turning on your heels and stammering to step closer to her again — magnetized to her warmth in every sense that she delivers it upon you, even in denial.
“Only good girls get to cum, sunshine, and you haven’t listened to Daddy one bit this morning. Let’s see if we can turn that around this afternoon, hm? See if that pussy deserves a reward or if it’s gonna be left all achy and empty until tomorrow.” There’s a finality in Natasha’s tone that brings the tears back to your eyes, but they blend into the droplets of water that drip down your face from your hair as she helps you out of the bathtub, wrapping a towel around your still trembling body. “So reactive.” Natasha hums when she brushes over your nipples as she tucks the corner of the towel in between your breasts, changing her approach to something soft, wistful as she handles you. She has you where she wants you now, there’s no reason to overplay her hand when you’re so willfully pliant.
“Braids. Two.” You remind Natasha dazily, blinking at her slowly, sweetly. The demand you utter isn’t meant to be harsh, controlling. You’re just thinking in blocks, choppy thoughts appearing in blurbs that Natasha finds quite charming.
You’ve always been quiet. Since the day you started with her, to this very moment, the silence that passes between you two isn’t unfamiliar, but it holds a certain warmth to it that Natasha wants to frame and put on the bedroom wall every time she feels it.
She laughs softly, shaking her head as she reaches for your pile of clothes on the floor. “I know you want braids, sunshine. I’m getting to that, we’ve gotta get you dressed first.”
“Dressed first.” You repeat back, a soft parrot between Natasha’s fingertips as she dresses you innocently, her fingertips only scraping upwards against your skin as often as necessary. You welcome it fondly, sinking into her warmth, her presence, her promise to stay. Ever so slowly, excitement toward this party begins to bubble in your belly again alongside the arousal Natasha’s amplified since dragging you upstairs, and she can tell as her fingers fix the strap of your bathing suit top that's twisted over itself.
“Do you want to wear your shorts now, or are you going to go hop in the pool the second I let you go?” Natasha questions with an amused smirk, wet brown hair dripping down her shoulders and between her freckled back bones.
“It’s ready?” You question with shy anticipation, giving Natasha enough of an answer to know wrangling you into a pair of shorts isn’t worth her breath right now.
Either way, she smiles at you fondly, nodding her head in quiet confirmation. “Everything’s ready. I’ve got the campfire all set up, and the floats are inflated and in the pool, and all your favorite drinks are in the cooler by Fanny’s water bowl.” Natasha kisses your head before she breaks away, stepping farther back than she’s been for a while. You whine at the loss of warmth radiating off of her skin and onto yours, but she shushes you with fond exasperation, rolling her eyes as she steps into a pair of black swim trumps and a white sports bra looking top. It’s not her most festive attire, but you know that her, amongst a handful of the guests attending, are majorly rioting against the American government. Your festivities only reside in the color palette and aesthetic, but you know this is something personal for Natasha; something like a wound that’s never healed.
“No shorts.” You decide with finality as she fixes the last of her hair that was caught beneath the band of the bathing suit top. Natasha’s smirk seems to broaden if possible, her eyes filled with a lightness you hadn’t seen so unearthed across her features in a while.
She chortles shortly, shaking her head. “I figured that, sunny.” She assures, making you blush in embarrassment she cherishes to witness. “Come stand in front of the sink. If you’re going to beat Yelena into the pool, then we only have a couple of minutes.” Natasha redirects and you allow her to, letting your body be guided toward the countertop that holds every hair utensil you could think of. Knowing Natasha, the woman who likes you in the slickest braid known to man, she’s going to use every instrument in the room until she’s satisfied. It’s a miracle nobody beneath the roof is balding yet. Her fingers are beautiful things, but they’re also dangerous weapons.
You’re not paying attention to how she parts and pulls and tugs at your hair, only whining when something is too harsh or you’re just missing the sound of her voice coaxing you through the momentary, and entirely worthwhile, pain. You never regret the end result — or the fact that Wanda will forgo making you shower and restyle your hair before bedtime when they’re in.
“All done.” Natasha smiles proudly after a few moments, tapping your hip as she reaches behind her to begin her own hair in a hurry, not too fussed about making her own style perfect, just manageable for the activities at hand.
“Said two.” You frown when your eyes focus on your reflection in the mirror and catch sight of the singular french braid that runs down the center of your head. This is not what you asked for; not what you wanted. Natasha knows you only let her braid your hair like this before bed. She knows that for some reason, you like two braids better. You know that she knows. She knows that you know that she knows.
That doesn’t change the fact that your hair is still only braided in one slicked and tight french braid, secured by a little red elastic she’d laid out on the counter between spraying your hair with a leave-in conditioner and pulling the first sections taut.
Natasha chuckles as if something is funny, dropping her hands from her hair once she’s satisfied with the bun tied up toward the middle of her head. “And Daddy said no popsicles. Seems like we both forgot to listen, and we’ll both live through the disappointment.”
“I wanted two.” Your shoulders drop in dejection, eyes staring at your reflection in the still somewhat steamy mirror.
“And I wanted you to make a good choice.” Natasha isn’t settling, but she meant what she said about not needing to overplay her hand anymore, so she nods toward the door with an ever so gradually lightening expression. Her eyes flicker to the small, gold analog clock Wanda insisted on putting in the corner at the end of the countertop that runs across the side of this wall. Fifteen minutes or less until Yelena barges through the back gate with Fanny on a leash, Kate and Lucky tumbling in behind her flush faced and disheveled. You’re running out of time if you really have a goal of being the first in the pool. She takes one more moment to look at you though; really look. Your cheeks are pink from the heat of the shower, your eyes are wide, doe-like and glassy as they peer back at her with a sort of cluelessness behind them. Your shoulders look gentle, your skin soft as evaporating water allows them to glisten naturally. You look so little. So soft. “Go tell Wands you’re getting in the pool.”
Your eyes brighten at the reminder of pool time, and you don’t waste a second scrambling out of the bathroom with a bounce. Natasha watches you for a moment, shaking her head as she watches your eyes flicker between Monkey and the door as you slow down just slightly in your descent to Wanda who's still in the kitchen. You can hear her doing something now that you’re out of the bathroom.
“Uh.” Natasha scolds with a glimmer in her eyes, no real malice in her tone. “Leave Monkey-Monkey. He’ll be here waiting for you when you come back.”
“Okay.” You whisper softly, continuing down to Wanda. It takes you until the third step to forget about your upset, Natasha can tell as she listens to the growing prance in your footsteps as you regain your speed, your little voice calling out to Wanda before you round the corner of the kitchen.
“Wands, I’m all ready for the pool!”
Your feet carry you across the floorboards quickly, still naked, but padding audibly against the hardwood that Wanda had meticulously mopped three days ago while Natasha dusted every shutter and baseboard in the house. You can’t remember what they’d had you doing, maybe the dishes or folding the laundry, but either way, the floor feels squeaky clean and polished beneath your feet.
Wanda’s putting away the last of the dishes in the kitchen, all the food spread out between the kitchen island and the dining room table as you peer around the corner as you stalk closer to her body. She takes up so much room, so much space, her presence is so large, but she’s really not all that big. She’s still taller than you, more commanding than you.
“We’re in a better mood.” Wanda notes, and though you’re dazed, utterly delicate in front of her, you catch the way her eyes rake up your body, assuring every curve and inch of exposed skin gets the heat of her stare cast upon it at least once. That burning sensation spreads through your clit and belly again, your cheeks hot as you look down at your painted toes, feeling shy; so shy. “Natty changed you too, hm? What happened there?”
Natasha might’ve conceded about overplaying her card, but Wanda had barely had a chance to sink her teeth into you and she wasn’t feeling so kind. You knew better than to ignore what she tells you and expects from you.
Your cheeks blush and your feet kick at the floor again, desperately hoping for it to swallow you whole and save you from this encounter. Wanda wants the full truth. If she asks Natasha later and she finds out you held something back, you’re only in for more.
“Was too wet.” You admit sheepishly, your voice quiet. “U-Um, looked like I had an accident.”
Wanda hums, satisfied with your answer though she knows you could’ve been more descriptive. She knows a hell of a lot more than that happened upstairs. She lets it go for now. If only because the choppy manner of your sentences tells her Natasha’s already completely dismantled every panic setting in your little brain, and with it, the right headspace for making you verbally humiliate yourself descriptively.
“You looked like you had an accident, huh?” Wanda tsks, shaking her head as she turns her chin to glance at the counter, content to find the sunscreen she’d brought down from the bathroom still in its place from last night. “Oh, sunshine, do I have to start taking you to go potty myself. Is my little girl too lost in that pretty head to do it herself?” She teases smugly, knowing that her condescension is only further smothering you into the headspace Natasha’s created in private.
“I didn’t!” You argue weakly, desperate for her to believe you, for somebody to believe you, because you’re not entirely convinced that Natasha does. “Didn’t have an accident! Mo-Wands I didn’t!”
“You didn’t, what? Tell me sunshine, what didn’t you do.” Wanda backs you into a corner before you even realize you’re caged in, and if your cheeks weren’t already positively glowing, Wanda knows they’d have turned this shade a pink in a moment now that you’ve been tasked with the obligation of clarifying yourself to her; she’s sure Natasha’s made you say it too. She’s certain if she strapped you to an MRI machine, they’d find a million little butterflies all fluttering wildly inside your belly and bones.
“Ididn’thaveanaccident.” You grumble in one breath, eyebrows innocently furrowed in dismay as you sink your gaze to the floor, still wishing for it to swallow you whole, still absolutely buzzing from every nerve within your body.
“Slower. And louder. You know better than that.” Wanda chastises with a look of disbelief on her face, your belly sinks to your knees, your legs knock together as you tremble beneath her domineering glare. She’s entirely unimpressed with you this morning. You may have wormed your way back into Natasha’s good graces, but you’re only digging a deeper hole with her. It’s truly a wonder how she hasn’t lost all self control and bent you over the counter until your ass matched the swimsuit Natasha picked out tediously. “If I have to repeat myself you will tell Maria explicitly how you’ve disobeyed both your Mommy and your Daddy in the four hours that your pretty eyes have been open. Do you need to be reminded how much Masha likes to see you cry? Have you forgotten how sweet she sounds as she convinces Mommy to spank that little cunt harder just one more time.” She’s playing mean now. If Natasha were in the room to see how she steps closer to you, impeding on your personal space with a cruelness that would shake a seasoned battle warrior, she’s drag Wanda away by her hand, telling her she’s playing a dangerous game, that this wasn’t supposed to become an all day scene, but Wanda likes danger. And she likes reminding Natasha that they’ve agreed to let her take the reins every so often and today, she’s decided it's everyone at her mercy.
“N-No!” The way your body reacts before your brain is so pleasing to see. Wanda preens as she watches you break, the one final straw snapping like it's been dry rotted for a decade coming undone completely as you stamp your feet into the ground, body bouncing with so much pent up dismay the vibrations tickle your clit. You sob gutterally, tears sinking down your cheeks as the last of your reserve crumbles, your ability to hide even the slightest reaction from them entirely gone now; probably not to come back until at least the early hours of the morning.
Good, Wanda thinks, still just watching you have your meltdown, your lips wet with saliva as you blubber nonsensically. There’s no stopping your meltdown without intervention at this point, but she’s content to let you get out at least a couple of the tears she knows you’ve been fighting all morning. You need this. She knows that you need this. The old saying from her childhood sneaks up on her like a paranormal chill. ‘This hurts me more than it hurts you’. It hadn’t been true back then, she’s not so sure its really true now, she knows that this crying helps, heals, highlights all the trust that’s been shared and built, but there’s a twinge deep in her heart that knows just how much trauma and pain it’s taken to get you to this point of emotional regulation and protection.
“So tell me again. Nicely.” She finally decides to take pity on you when snot bubbles from your nose. You’re quick to use the back of your hand to wipe it away, a whine that’s fully embarrassed tumbling from your lips as you visibly try to sink into the floor. It’s officially surpassed fun and healing for both parties. She knows that you need softness now. That her hand has been played as hard as it needed to be.
“I-I didn’t have an acc— Mommy I didn’t have an accident!” You sob, your hands coming up to cover your face as you can’t handle the heat of her eyes on you. They’re so soft now, so comforting, so patient. You’re running out of time to get in the pool, but Wanda’s willing to yell at Yelena to wait if it really comes down to it now. You’ve been good enough. She’ll see to it that you get a reward. At least partially.
“I know, moya milaya, luchezarnaya devochka. (My sweet sunshine girl.) I know.” Wanda pries your hands away from your face gently, the pads of her thumbs that are soft from the pounds of fruit juice she’s squished between her digits wipe away your tears tenderly before her lips kiss your slightly damp cheeks. “Enough of the tears. That’s enough, sweetheart.” She coaxes gently, smiling warmly at you when your eyes blink drearily, your lashes heavy and wet. “Did Natty put sunscreen on you?” She tries to pull you back up a little bit, if only because she knows neither you or Natasha would appreciate outing your mutual Daddy kink so vulnerably. Wanda’s pretty sure everyone knows about her Mommy kinky to some extent, but you and Natasha, you keep things close to your heart in ways she both adores and pities. She wishes the both of you could just love yourselves as openly and encouragingly as she’s learned to love herself.
“No.” You mumble, trying to shake your head that’s still being held between her hands. Wanda smiles sweetly at you, her green eyes sparkling.
Wanda rolls her eyes, smile gleaming. “Of course she didn’t. Natty’s silly.” Wanda’s proud of herself the second she recognizes the soft giggle that fills her ears at the reprimand of your mutual partner. If one thing always works with you, its using Natasha as the brunt of the joke, if only because outside of this relationship, this opportunity to be wrong and messy and stupid, she’d picture perfect. “We’ll get you all lathered up and then I’ll stop keeping you from the pool, alright, sunshine?”
“Yours.” You demand weakly, your little voice sounding oh so croaky as you bring a fist up to rub at your eyes. With or without the sunlight that beams down brightly on the backyard, unhidden by clouds that obidently roll around it, you’re going to crash tonight. Wanda can’t remember the last time you let yourself feel and express so freely; that always tends to wear you out. She remembers what it was like to first start feeling and getting in touch with her emotions. She knows how much of a weight it is to constantly be feeling and processing things you haven’t before. Selfishly, empathetically, she can’t wait for the cuddles that are to come when the house finally clears out.
“I know you want mine, sweet thing.” Wanda laughs, reaching for the sunbum lotion she’d brought down from the bathroom last night. “Always want mine, huh? My body wash, my shampoo, my suntan lotion. You smell like a little version of me!” She teases fondly, opening the cap and squirting a generous amount into her palms. She took her rings off when she started cutting up the fruit, and you’re thankful for thier absence now as she drags her hands down your arms adn across your chest, making a point to almost finger the dips in your clavicle as she works the white lotion clear into your expose skin.
You giggle when she dips her fingertips beneath the hem of the bathing suit top, coating just the slightest bit more of your boobs before she asks you to turn around, lathering your back and your neck and the backs of your legs with meticulous pressure and gentleness combined.
“Does that tickle?” Wanda hums fondly as she finishes rubbing in the last of the sunscreen around your ankles, not bothering with your feet now if only because she plans to spray you down every two hours with the spray version she has. “We’re almost done, sweet girl. Just let me get the front of your legs.”
You don’t question why she saved the front of your legs for last, you should, but you don’t, mindlessly turning around in her grip again, your eyes fixated on the pool that drifts and ripples with the warm breeze that travels in through the open doors and windows.
You hum when her thumbs press into the muscles of your upper thighs, her fingers really working the lotion in harder than she had been now. She travels high and then low, but your attention is particularly peaked when she reaches the crevices of your thighs, her slickened palms and fingertips continuing to explore your body more than protect it with sunscreen now.
You squeak when her fingertips breach the sides of your bottoms, her fingers that are barely covered in anything anymore brushed against your lips and then your clit before they dare to dip inside, finding a puddle of wetness that leaks against this swimsuit now too right beneath your pulsating hole. She laughs cynically, plunging a finger inside with interest, working it into an arch and then straightening it out again.
“Oh.” You gasp, not expecting the intrusion or permissive pleasure you’re receiving. Wanda smirks, setting another hand on your hip.
“Stay still, baby. I’m just making sure everywhere is nice and covered.” She tells you deceitfully. She pulls her finger out and away too soon, and your face flushes when she adds more sunscreen to her dirtied hand, rubbing that into your stomach before she hums, satisfied with herself. “Natty didn’t let you cum, did she?” Wanda asks eventually, not even daring to bring up how she’d just rubbed your arousal into your belly with the remnants of her sunscreen and your shower water.
You shake your head, words hard, your eyes reflecting your silence as they glimmer and gleam.
“I can tell. That little pussy was just clenching on my fingers so tight. And it’s still making such a mess. Better go get in the pool before Natty wants to check for herself again. I don’t think you want to have her pick out another bathing suit when Yelena and Kate are going to be here any minute.” Wanda teasingly redirects, but you’re too oblivious to realize she’d very pointedly just taken your mind off of the second edge of the day.
“Bye-bye.” You blink at her before you turn, both clumsily and frantically scrambling out of the door. Wanda watches you, almost certain you’re going to bust your ass before you make it into the heated pool, but by some miracle you avoid tripping over your own two feet or the chairs Natasha’s fixed out with towels. She watches you dive in with a splash, grateful that your attitudes already seemed to improved already. She wants this to be a good day. She knows that its going to be.
-
Wanda’s been watching you for a while now. The sun has tarnished your skin already, the salt water has tugged pieces of your braid free, but your eyes gleam with a lightness she hasn’t seen so exposed in a while. Your earlier frustration and arousal has been clearly forgotten, your little mind too occupied with the game of chicken going on between you, Kate, Yelena, and Sharon. Nobody’s really sure who invited Sharon, it definitely wasn’t Natasha or herself, but she hasn’t perturbed the vibe, so nobody’s asked her to leave.
Your cheeks are pink now from a delicate burn thats going to burn and tighten your skin within the next handful of hours. You’ve got a dark crisp across the bridge of your nose from where the suns hit you most, a telltale sign of the laughter you’ve let bubble from your chest as Yelena throws countless quips at Natasha from the water. She hasn’t left the pool since she arrived, demanding drinks and plates of food from the sloshing waters that she’s crawled so deep into they lick at her collarbones.
It seems Natasha’s been bringing you drinks as well each time she’s been beckoned over by her excitable little sister finally getting the chance to live out a little bit of her childhood dream if the empty cans of tequila seltzers are any indication. Natasha’s shared a considerable amount about Yelena’s childhood with the both of you, but Wanda especially. They both still have their secrets, neither you nor Wanda confidently know the majority of their most tragic events, but Wanda knows how desperately Yelena had wanted a pool as a child. Wanda knows how many times Yelena had been waterboarded by a drunken Alexei when she’d hopefully asked, never quite getting the hint that the no wasn’t due to money, but willingness.
Wanda almost feels bad pulling you away from the game thats happening, but unlike everyone else in the pool, they’ve all gotten out to periodically hide from the sun, or in Yelena’s case, at the very least sprayed the top half of their bodies. Wanda knows you won’t want everyone seeing her lather you up, but she’s not quite willing to let you do it by yourself yet, even if you’ve floated up from the very bottom of a soft headspace the slightest bit since fleeing the kitchen and her controlling grip.
“You gonna bring her in?” Natasha stalks up beside Wanda quietly, but there’s a stagger to her steps that give hints of how much she’s had to drink already, or how little she’s had to eat. Wanda can only have her eye on so many people at once, and you take precedence over your girlfriend who wouldn’t let anything happen to her even shitfaced. Natasha has the skills to defend herself. Wanda fears every day that somebodys going to kidnap you.
Wanda hums, glancing down at the beer in Natasha’s hand. “She’s a lobster.” She comments, slightly amused, slightly horrified. It hadn’t been this bright of a day in a while. She takes the long neck bottle from Natasha’s loose grip, gulping down a mouthful that she realizes is lukewarm too late. “That’s fucking putrid.” Wanda’s nose wrinkles, and she shoves it back into Natasha’s grip with disgust. “It’s piss warm, Natalia.”
“Yeah well, I haven’t really had time to drink it between watching her boobs bounce every time she falls into the water and being Yelena’s little bitch. I’m one beer away from making her get her own damn drinks.” Natasha takes a gulp of the beer if only to further defend her frustration and Wanda rolls her eyes, not sure why the brunette questions where your attitude is coming from when this is how she acts. “I think she’s just hot. You know how she gets now that she’s upped her meds.” Natasha reasons, watching you fondly for a moment as Kate pushes you back into the water off of Yelena’s shoulders.
You know Sharon’s not allowed to pick you up. She’s been respecting that rule so far, maybe because both Kate and Yelena have claimed you as quick as the waves of the pool let you find your footing after a spill.
“She’s going to be pissed when I tell her she can’t take the trazadone tonight.” Natasha comments out of second thought, thinking about the pill bottle you’d rhinestoned blue just a few months back.
Wanda scoffs, “You should’ve thought about that before you started feeding her, what even are those, Sun Crusiers or High Noons?” She squints her eyes, trying to determine what Natasha’s even been feeding you in the few moments she looks away to socialize with everyone else. Pepper’s done a good job at keeping her busy, the strawberry blonde unable to ever end a conversation after one topic.
“Sun Crusiers.” Natasha hums, “She gave me the eyes. What was I supposed to do?” She throws her hands up, looking like the depiction of a useless lesbian as her eyes bounce between Wanda and your breasts that bob with the current of the water that drags and pulls you as you try to swim away from Kate, shrieking with glee. Somewhere along the lines, the game of chicken you’d been playing had turned into something else, and neither Wanda nor Natasha know what that games supposed to be.
“Say no.” Wanda mutters dryly, but her attention isn’t really on Natasha anymore. She watches as Sharon lunges forward in the pool, her fingers just slightly catching your waist though its clear your body wasn’t her intention. It’s enough to encourage Wanda to beacon you over to her though, not willing to take any chances with you. Not with Sharon. Half the people at this party could tell you why she’s a bad idea. “Sunny!” Wanda’s voice reaches across the backyard somehow, startling your attention away from Yelena who’d finally managed to grab your shoulders and onto her. You look at her like she’s hung the stars for you in every lifetime that you’ve lived. It takes her breath away every time. “Come help me!” She nods inside, looking almost mischievous as if that will help to ease you out of the pool without a fit or dramaticized pout.
She watches your mouth move as you say something to Yelena, and she can almost guarantee the blonde mocks your obidence because your cheeks flush and your head tilts downward as you climb the steps of the pool, shyly throwing your soaking wet braid off of your shoulder.
“Get me a beer and meet us in the kitchen?” Wanda asks as she moves to grab your towel that she’s left sprawled out across a chair in the sun, but it’s not really a question at all. Natasha rolls her eyes at the demand, but leans forward to press a kiss into the Sokovians temple before she stalks away, chucking her lukewarm beer into the garbage as she moves with stealth.
“Having fun out there, my little fish?” Wanda asks queerly when you’re close enough for the question to reach only your ears. You don’t answer, choosing instead to stumble into her open and outstretched arms, letting her wrap you up tightly in your sun warmed towel. Your head buries itself in her chest, inhaling the ebbing scent of her perfume that disintergrates as she sweats and moves beneath the suns beams. Her fingers brush flyaways away from your face as she guides your eyes up to hers, still finding that hazy softness swimming in your stare when she looks at you. How far you’ve come to trust these people with this part of you. How far you’ve come to understand at all that Wanda and Natasha will only ever have you around people they know will accept you fully and with flaws. Sharon may be a horrible girlfriend and a wicked flirt, but she’s one of the most accepting people Wanda’s ever had the displeasure of calling a friend. Still, she wants to hide this part of you. She wants to keep your softness to herself for a while. “Lets get you inside, my sun. I’m sure a popsicle would make swimming even better.”
Your eyes brighten at the promise of a popsicle. You’ve been waiting all day, and while you’ve found patience much to Wanda’s enjoyment, it had slowly been killing you as the sun, water, and alcohol wore away at your energy.
“Popsicle time?” You question bubbly, pulling away from her chest to stand fully on your own two feet, sunburnt cheeks bright and squeezable.
Wanda nods, “Popsicle time. And sunscreen time. You’re gonna be as pink as a poppy by the time we get you all wrapped up in bed tonight.” She teases, guiding you into the house with a wave at Maria over her shoulder, silently telling the brunette woman to give her a minute. Maria understand more than most at the party do, and she smirks cruelly back at Wanda and sips her cup of… whatever has been created from the open bottles in the kitchen. “Careful. One of these days I’m going to wrap you in bubble wrap for real.” She teases as you trip over the end of the towel just feet away from your destination. Wanda really questions why Natasha thought it was a good idea to fill you up with alcohol when you’re already incoherent on your feet, stumbling and falling about in the pool like you have no idea how your center of gravity works.
“Not my fault.” You mutter cheekily, a shy blush crawling up the back of your neck as you spin to look at Wanda.
“And whose fault was it?” Wanda quirks an eyebrow, her chin lulling to the side as she stares at you.
“Natty’s.” You say, evidence of how much time you’ve spent unsupervised with Yelena. Wanda wants to laugh, she really, really does, you look so cute with your little head titled back at her, your eyes sparkling as you know full and well you shouldn’t be blaming Natasha for things she’s not even around to see or find her own humor in.
“Don’t start lying again now, little girl. I’m still quite interested to see if Natty could really get that pussy the same shade as your suit.” You didn’t know Wanda knew Natasha had said that upstairs while you’d been getting ready, you’d forgotten all about it yourself, but the heat of your pent up and continuously denied arousal comes back quick and at full force. Wanda can see the sheen of heat that comes over you the moment it crashes, and she smirks knowingly, silently adding another talley to her list of wins.
“Sorry.” You avert your eyes bashfully, holding onto the edges of the towel tighter.
Wanda smiles at you softly, reaching for the bottle of sunscreen she’d left on the counter. She was just going to spray you down, but she doesn’t trust that enough now that she’s seen how easily you’re showing evidence of your time outside right now. She doesn’t aim to tease this time though, working your body over rather roughly as she just tries to do the best job she can. There’s a white cast to your cheeks when she’s finished with you, but at the very least, she hopes you wont burn any further. The UV should be dwindling soon, the summer sky beginning to change hues as the day ages quicker than anyone wants or can notice. Burning is only going to be a risk for another hour or so more, but you’re her baby, and quite honestly, she doesn’t want the three am waking when your brain clears and you realize how badly you hurt.
“That’s alright, sunshine.” She promises quietly as she sets the sunscreen back on the counter, turning to look at the fridge just as Natasha comes inside with three drinks. The neck of Wanda’s beer is between Natsha’s pointer finger and middle finger, and somehow she balances two solo cups in the other hand, her pinky and index finger supporting a lottery ticket Wanda has no idea where she got, or who she got it from.
“Alright, I have your beer. Maria poured me a 3 finger of whiskey, and for you, baby love, we have a red hawaiian punch.” Natasha plays up her delivery, hoping she’ll be able to sell you the drink despite its lack of alcohol. You take the bait, reaching for it out of her hands with an excited smile. You chug mindlessly, finally aware of how thirsty you were for something not carbinated. “I can’t believe Clint stayed back with the kids. We have two gallons of hawaiian punch we have nothing to do with.” Natasha adds as a second thought once she’s sure you’re content with your drink, following Wanda over to the freezer as she searches for a popsicle for you.
“Just tell Laura to take them with her when she goes. You know she never turns down food for those kids. They’re worse than you and Clint.” Wanda muses with an amused scoff, and Natasha makes a sound that insinuates she hadn’t thought of that solution of her own. “Alright, a popsicle for you, my little lady.” Wanda turns around with a bright smile, handing you an already open popsicle with the tips of her careful fingers. You grab it with your fist, lapping at it with a pink tongue that they both can’t help but watch. You don’t know what your’e doing, too enthralled by the flavor that melts across your tongue, but they watch you the whole time, even as you teeth bite down and break off half of the frozen treat in one go.
Natasha has to swallow a moan when your tongue pokes out to lick up a trail of juice that spills from your lips, and she really almost loses it when you miss, only smearing the red-pink evidence across your face a little bit more.
You finish the popsicle in record time, evidence of your inebriation and need of real sustiencence as the heat and your medication begin to make a real effect on you.
“Come here, let me fix your bathing suit messy girl.” Natasha tsks. Wanda doesn’t comment that theres nothing wrong with your suit, or that Natasha’s pupils are entirely blown with lust, just watches silently, wondering how this is going to play out for the both of you who are still beneath her thumb. You move when she wants you to move, and she hasn’t given either one of you permission to dive into the deep end yet again.
The tips of Natasha’s fingers are still white from digging around in the coolers outside for a beer. It takes only four second for Wanda to realize the russians intentions, but your brain doesn’t catch up until Natasha is worming her touch beneath the fabric of your tankini cups and pinching your nipples between her fingers. You jump, and Wanda’s not sure if its a reaction to the sudden cold or pain, but she enjoys the sight of you straining away from both sensations on your tippy toes, failing miserably to truly relieve the ache or temperature.
You splutter on a cough when Natasha pulls her hands away, smirking posessively as you as she glances toward the window, her eyes locking on a blue eyed individual who bears a smirk of sheer enjoyment, still stocily sipping whatever drink she’s mixed together. Your eyes find Maria’s after a moment, and you only cough again, cheeks flushing as you choke on air and saliva.
“Take a drink.” Natasha giggles, not all that concerned as she turns back to Wanda, letting you sit in the embarrassment of her disinterest. She’s very interested, but this is as far as Wanda’s letting her extend her hand right now, so she’s taking full advantage of the inches she has access too — even if she wants the miles Wanda has and hasn’t touched.
Neither one pay attention as your hand reaches for the cups on the counter, mindlessly thinking you were grabbing your hawaiian punch as you splutter for relief from the combined ache, burn, and scratch in your throat as your eyes water. Your nipples are pebbled beneath the ribbed fabric of your tankini’s cups, and they poke out proudly, unwilling to stay hidden for your modesty or mindset.
You’re still not paying attention as you raise the cup to your lips, taking a big sip that tastes nothing like you expect. You choke even more, not expecting the bitter taste that coats your throat with a persistent lingering. It takes only a moment, a single second for your brain to catch up to what you’ve just drank, and when it does, when you realize that its whisky, a smile tugs at your lips, your coughing and spluttering subsiding as you go in for another gulp before either Wanda or Natasha can reach across the island to snatch the cup from you.
The second wash of whisky against your throat is kinder than the last, but it still burns, it still twinges your insides, still forces you to swallow thickly a second time after it falls down your throat, but you anticipate it, expect it. Even if its not really, it feels like something you can control now; pain that you can limit and amplify at your own means.
Natasha catches your wrist in the middle of your third swig, your eyes watering as a few drops splash against your uvula and the roof of your mouth. You can feel it in your nose as you swallow, whining pitifully as she drags your hand away from your mouth. “I meant, take a drink from your juice.”
“Thought it was that one.” You shrug, pulling your wrist out of her grip if only to actually grab your juice and dunk the remnants of your popsicle into it, a truly adorable grin taking over your features as the different hues of color blend and swirl together. Natasha’s only a little bit bothered that she didn’t get to steal a bite before you submerged it.
“And it took you two more tries to make sure, huh?” She looks at you with a twinkle in her eyes, not truly perturbed but willing to take a few seconds to scold you anyways, adoring the way you seem to wiggle in your skin beneath her attention. “You’re going to have quite the headache tomorrow morning, little lady. Might even be glad I did your hair in one braid when you don’t have to hold it back as your puking over the toilet.” She sings in a teasing tone, taking the last bits of her whisky down in one go as she finishes her taunt.
“I can go play with Yelena again?” You question with indifference to her droning, not in the appropriate headspace in any capacity to comprehend or play into her taunting. Wanda chuckles into her hand as she raises the neck of her beer to her lips, always amused with the bantering that ensues between the both of you. She wonders what it had been like in the beginning, when you’d just been a secretary and Natasha couldn’t be so brazen in her flirting. She’d heard the stories from both of your perspectives a few hundred times, sometimes at two pm, sometimes at three am, but nothing would compare to getting to see the way she’s sure you blushed and Natasha twitched with concealed nervousness with her own two eyes. Neither one of you know how beautiful she finds you. Neither one of you know the things she truly cares about within those moments that you both let slip by unnoticed. There’s no way to make it happen, to rewind time and let her witness whats now history, your personal, intimate history, but she hopes, and that’s always gotten her through.
“You can go play with Yelena, but Natty’s gonna start grilling soon and then we’re going to put some clothes on and sit by the fire. No whining when I tell you it’s time to get out, right?” Wanda takes the opportunity to remind you of your place, your role, their expections and perception of you. Your cheeks flush at the display of dominance that’s uttered so sternly, your heart skipping just a single beat as you nod your head obediently, unsure of what has butterflies roaring in your belly so horridly.
“Cheeseburger.” You nod decicively, letting you gaze flicker to Natasha who watches you and Wanda fondly. You’ve concluded a long time ago that all this relationship can really be chalked up to is taking turns admiring each other. Someone is always staring, always memorizing new features they’d never noticed before. It’s sweet, but in times like these, it reminds you of how expode you are now, how unhidden you’ve made yourself. After years of builiding a repore within your small town, the quiet girl, the lonely girl, the abandoned girl, it would never quite feel right to have nowhere to hide when you’re with them.
Natasha’s head lulls to the side as she laughs, muscles in her abs flexing as her trunks slip lower and lower on her hips. Your eyes watch her skin as it ripples like the water in the pool, taken away from your mental rabbit hole by her undeniable (and unintentional) hotness. It’s almost annoying that she can look so good so easily, so carelessly.
“Yes, I know you want a cheeseburger. You always want a cheeseburger.” Natasha coos fondly, pulling open the cabinet beneath the center of the island for the trash can. She tosses her cup in mindlessly, using her hip to give it just enough momentum to propel closed without her fingertips. She takes full advantage of her free hands that are still kind of cold, colder than your skin at least, and settles them onto your hips, letting her fingers press into your ass beneath the waistband of your bottoms. “Are you having a good time with Yelena and Kate?” She asks quietly, dropping her forehead onto yours, slotting your noses together; taking a moment to just appreciate and hold you, something she hasn’t really done all day, even in the moments she’d had you all to herself. There’d been a mission then, a time constraint.
You nod your head softly, forgetting its against hers, and grin shyly when your foreheads bonk, her eyes closing in a soft moment of gentle exasperated humor as her shoulders shake with chortled laughter. “Yes.” You whisper decisively, and Natasha’s heart skips a beat knowing she and Wanda are the reason your autopilot setting is blunt responses. They don’t care for the cushions when you’re like this, like putty between their fingers, they just care that you’re able to express what you need and how you feel. They’ve taught you well; you’ve learned well.
“That’s good, sunshine.” Natasha pecks your lips sweetly, letting you taste the whisky on her lips and selfishly tasting the ice pop and juice spread against you. You’re sweet, like you always are, but you have your own edge to your tongue now as she taste the whisky hidden beneath your misleading invitation of cherry and strawberry. “Get back out there before it’s too late.”
“One more. Please.” You bargain, eyes fluttering as you lean in close to chase Natasha’s warmth as she backs away. You don’t need to clarify what you need from her, and she doesn’t make you ask a second time as she steps up to you fully and captures your lips in a real kiss now, pressing herself against you as harshly as she can without losing balance, not caring about the wet impression you leave against her or the fact that until now, she’d been perfectly dry by choice. She’d never deny you a kiss like this, not when she knows you’ll wrap around her like a monkey without shame, falling into a tunnel of black as the only light shines on her. You don’t disappoint now as you wrap your arms around her neck and attempt to make it seem like you have any power over her, it’s not intentional, but its still a subtle move of possession, one that has Natasha grinning against your lips like an idiot, effectively breaking suction for the first time.
You gasp for breath with raspberry cheeks, not red, not pink, wiping damp baby hairs out of your face with childish discordination. Your eyes sparkle with a few million stars, and Natasha takes a few seconds to try and count each one, matching constellations that feel like home to her after all this time, all this closeness.
“We agreed on one more.” Natasha pets your hair back affectionately, smothering your face akin to the way an aunt would a small, squishable child. “Go kick Yelena’s ass for me, kay?” She encourages, eyes sparkling with mischief that races through your veins at lightening speed with the assistance of alcohol in your system. You’re utterly fucked for tomorrow, that’s absolutely certain, but for now, you’ve never felt lighter.
“Okay.” You whisper, leaning in close and rising up on your tippy-toes to sneak attack her with a kiss before you skip away, eyelashes batting as you make eye contact with Wanda who smirks teasingly.
“No kiss for me?” She preens, jutting her hip out with a teasing attitude that makes you giggle with schoolgirl kind of charisma. “Go have fun, baby girl.” Wanda hums when you’re close enough to grab, linking an arm around your hips with one possessive grip as she balances her beer in the other hand, keeping it just out of your reach before your little drunk mind can lead you to anymore creative ideas. “Listening ears on when I tell you its time to get out, right?” She repeats again, her eye contact heavy and suffocating as you get lost in the vibrant green of her stare. Her eyes get so much lighter when she spends time in the sun.
Your head bobs, just like it did the first time she asked, but she shakes her head, clicking her tongue against her pearly white front teeth. “Words, detka.” She corrects, strictness settling into her gaze that reminds you silliness is only permitted occasionally.
Your expression sobers, your belly shrinking inside of you again. “Right.”
“Good girl.” Wanda’s eyes sparkle, a delicacy refilling the emerald voids. Right now, you don’t know why you were ever nervous about tonight. You don’t want it to end, you’re not ready for it in the slightest. If you could, you would stay in this afternoon forever, replaying every small moment — even the torturous ones.
-
The fire crackles. Ambient orange and yellow light licks at the air and your back. Natasha’s fingers trail up and down your spine. Goosebumps. Beads of sweat. Warmth. There are so many sensations captivating your focus, but what you choose to settle on is the tickle of her nails scratching at your skin beneath the flowy fabric of your tankini top. You’re not sure you can even call it that really, it dawns on you now, with your head against her collarbone and your legs straddling her waist in front of all of her friends. You can’t remember how you got into this position — how your legs ended up no either side of hers or your how your head was tucked into her neck like it had always belonged here, but you don’t pull away from its warmth and weight, even as you feel stares on your back that spark warmth somehow hotter than the fire that licks at you.
You don’t think this top counts as a tankini. It doesn’t really cover your belly at all. All it does is flow around your curves, concealing the figure that Wanda and Natasha love so much until you shift just right or the wind blows. It’s a lace-like mesh, a thin flowy detail that brings femininity to the otherwise just red bikini, and it brings you confidence, but your not so sure you have its classification in your wardrobe right.
“It was Wentworth, Yelena.” Natasha rolls her eyes, stilling her scratching of your spine to shoot a deep glare at her little sister who sits across the fire holding an empty leash.
Fanny and Lucky had been put inside hours ago, sometime before the sun had fully set beneath the trees and nightfall coated the sky thick and black. Sparklers have already begun being shot off and burned in the distance, and while no big fireworks have been shot off yet, you think Kate’s insistence to get it done ahead of time was a good call. You remember the dogs from your childhood always freaking out, and while these are city dogs, ones that are used to the constant chatter and noise of the city, you don’t think they’ll take kindly to the rapid and consecutive exploding still.
Despite the dogs being inside, probably in the kitchen lapping frantically at their water bowls making a mess, or lounging on the couch in the living room like they love to do, Yelena hasn’t relinquished her grip on the leash since she’d climbed out of the pool soggy and soaking, stretching her legs on land for the first time since she and Kate had turned up to the party ten minutes early.
You turn your face farther into Natasha’s chest, muffling the sound of your whine as it crawls up your throat, but directing the vibrations directly into her body. You wiggle in her lap, arching your back just enough for her to get the hint that you’re not pleased about the lull in attention to the notches in your vertebrae. Natasha doesn’t draw attention to your action, but her hand starts scratching your back again, her eyes never leaving Yelena’s sprawled out form.
The blonde sits on a camping chair dug out from the shed in the back of the yard. Natasha had spent the better half of an hour pulling all the appropriate fire pit chairs out from storage that morning, but Yelena had been insistent on wanting one particular army green chair that she swears Natasha initially inherited from her back in college. She throws her right leg over the armrest, reclining her spine partly over the back and edge of the chair as her hips cant with an upright angle. The position looks both incredibly comfortable and like something a prisoner in a straight jacket would be made to occupy for cruel and unusual punishment.
Natasha’s not finished ragging on her sister who she finally has an opportunity to get back at after all that bitchign and bossing around by the pool. She takes a swig of the beer in her hands, coating the back of her throat before she opens her mouth to groan again. “Why are you always so insistent on telling this story? You never remember her name.”
“Because I find it very funny, sister. It is comical to me that you would react so passionately to a high school basketball game. Remind me again, how long was it you were on that team?” Yelena, unfortunately, is not easily bested by her older sister, though Natasha, who remembers her as a gullible little bright eyed seven year old, can never seem to get that straight until she’s staring her straight into the eyes challenigly, willing her to keep going.
“Three weeks.” She grits out, unwilling to let Yelena walk away victorious. She wants Natasha to falter, to admit that she’s done something impulsively or embarassingly. Natasha isn’t fond of the anger she was quick to as a teenager, she isn’t fond of the lack of commitment to teams and extracurricular, buts she’s even less fond of allowing Yelena to feel like she’s won something she started. “And how long we’re you on the swim team, ‘Lena? How long did you have a crush on Antonia—”
”Geez! Alright, alright, alright, you mention one funny story and suddenly it is a full blown war.” Yelena sinks into her camping chair, taking a swing from the beer she’s been nursing since Kate brought her one on her way back from the bathroom and checking on the dogs.
“Antonia, huh? Who’s Antonia?” Kate questions, leaning forward in her chair thats far more comfortable than the one Yelena’s dug out thats probably littered with cobwebs and spiders. She takes a sip from her solo cup indifferently, arching a single perfect brow over the rim at her girlfriend of seven months. Apparently they’ve known each other since college, but Natasha says it took them both forever to get over themselves and actually go out on a date. They’re two of the most brazen, stubborn, head strong women you know. And yet somehow, that makes perfect sense for the trajectory of their lives as you know them.
“Oh, it is nothing. I do not even think I remember an Antonia from high school. Definitely not. Deidre Wentworth though, I remember her. And how Natasha punched her in the nose because she missed a three-pointer—”
“—it was a two-pointer, I really don’t know why you’re always so insistent to tell this story, and I really don’t think that’s going to save you right now.” Natasha gestures toward the pointedly curious brunette beside her sister, Kate’s bright blue eyes stormy and interested as she leans on the edge of her seat, the cushion beneath her ass providing little support as she neglects to use it appropriately now that Yelena has her so wound up. Her refusal to just answer the question that had stared as simple teasing was only working an emotional drunk Kate up more, her grip on the solo cup tightening to something crushing, the plastic looking like it threatened to give way between her white-knuckle fingers.
“It’s not.” Kate’s jaw clenches, a sheen of intimation coming across her features that you haven’t seen so genuinely before. You peak out from Natasha’s chest to catch the encounter, curious little eyes so hazy from alcohol and submission watching the scene with a grimace of curiosity. Your little heart clenches at the hostility, the tension, but your mind loves the drama that you know will spill in through a series of texts from Yelena once she, and Kate, sober up in the morningtime. “Who’s Antonia, Yelena?”
“Don’t look at me. I’m certainly not going to save you.” Maria scoffs, shaking her head when Yelena’s gaze falls upon her similar to that of a begging puppy. You wonder if she picked up the habit from Fanny. It would be just like her.
“Maria’s more of a sadist than your sister.” Wanda laughs, shaking her head in amusement.
Yelena grimaces, expression sobering. “Okay I did not need to hear that about my sister even if I did already know she is a bitch and a sadist.”
“Oi.” Natasha scolds, suddenly harsh, suddenly cold. You whine in her lap, turning your head back into her chest as her reprimand turns your bones cold, so used to being the only one on the receiving end of that tone. Everyone gathered around the campfire is too enthralled with Yelena and Kate to notice the bristle of immediate submission and sorrow in your reaction, but Natasha feels it in her lap — how you get heavy and tense on her skin. She drags her nails down your back with firmer pressure, reaffirming that you’re not the one in trouble. This time. Though for such a good girl, you’ve found quite the bit of trouble on your own today. “Watch yourself, Yelena. YA naderu tebe zadnitsu.” You don’t know what that means, Natasha’s never said it to you, nor has Wanda ever taught you, but it brings comfort to know that she’s really not addressing you. Her scratching nails hadn’t been enough.
“You’re not getting out of this now.” Kate kicks her leg out, tapping Yelena’s shin with more force than necessary. The blonde frowns, groaning as she lowers a hand to nurse the ache.
The Russian, who you’re learning is the epitome of a dumb blonde despite her gruff and edgy outer appearance each time you see her, looks at her girlfriend with eyes filled with betrayal. “My shin.”
“Not helping.” Pepper groans, dropping her arm to the side of her chair, wine sloshing out of the solo cup she’d poured it into.
Sharon scoffs, seemingly knowing that the response Yelena chose was a bad call even with her track record with women and dating in general. “Yelena. Really?” She scolds, shaking her head in disappointment as she bites off the end of a hotdog she’d been holding over the flames of the campfire.
Kate kicks her again. Harder. The orange flames lick brighter and higher as Wanda throws more firewood in from her seat, losing interest in the arguement as her eyes turn to watch you instead. You’re entirely unaware, lost in the comfort and presence of Natasha as your heavy eyelids remain closed and exactly as stated; heavy. She can see the effects of the alcohol and the sun combined on your features, but you’re not ready to call it quits yet, you’re not ready to crawl up to bed alone, without them.
“Antonia Dreykov.” Yelena admits with a reluctant scowl, and you’ve offically lost interest in the story now, familiar with how much of a villain she (and her father) had become in Natasha and Yelena’s lives. You’re glad they can talk about her, and him, with ease now, but it lights a fire beneath both you and Natasha on their behalf each time.
You don’t want to listen, too drunk, too sleepy, too emotional. Your fingers tap Natasha’s wrist, dizzy eyes finding hers with a timidness that stops the world around her for a moment. She smiles at you with her own drunken charm, her skin tinted with evidence of her inebriation now as the fire glows against her skin. She’s always warm. She’s warmer now.
“Hi sunshine.” She whispers, leaning down to peck your lips softly as she shares a moment with you and only you, though she’s acutely aware of Wanda’s eyes on the both of you from across the firepit. You’re not sure why she chose a seat so far away, but Natasha knows it has everything to do with her testing the bounds of her control, willing to see how well Natasha can handle herself as she gets you all cuddly and to herself by the fire. It’s a dangerous game you don’t even know you’re apart of, but if she fails, you’ll know. Oh, you’ll know.
“Sip.” You request sluggishly, blinking at her with innocent wonder. She wonders how you can handle the weight of your eyelashes. They look so full and heavy as you bat your gaze at her.
“Mommy’s going to kill me for getting you so drunk.” She whispers against your lips, too drunk to be phased by your quiet, bossy demand, too captivated by you to realize she’s the one slipping farther down into a quiet, fuzzy headspace now. The world gets so quiet when she has you like this; when she gets to act and assert control like this. “You’re going to be such a little nightmare in the morning.” She continues to talk about you and you’re none the wiser, fixated on the beer that sloshes around the bottle as she condescends you with affection.
“Sip.” You repeat, tugging on her wrist now as your slim little fingers wrap around her wrist, fingertips not even touching each other as you attempt to pull her close.
“Yeah, yeah. Sip, I know.” She breaths through her mouth before she uses her free hand to tilt your chin upward, holding your jaw between careful fingertips as she pours the beer straight into your mouth. You gulp with an urge, letting your throat bob tantalizingly as Natasha watches. The drips that leak from your lips when she pulls the bottle back catch her eye just like the juice from the popsicle had, but Wanda clears her throat from across the fire, stealing her attention before she can forget the instructions given to her.
Things had definately changed since Wanda and Natasha’s go at this. Maria can tell as she watches them watch you and each other wordlessly.
“All done.” She tells you firmly. You shake your head, trying to pull her wrist back to you. “Yes, we’re all done. You’ve had enough. Just relax against me now. Just close your eyes again and let me rub your back.” Natasha chastises with a gentle guidance, lowering your head back into the dark pocket of her neck. You want to fight, you try to fight as its happening, but the second your heavy head finds a place to rest again, your brain realizes how good it feels to just be heavy against her body. “Good girl, there you go. That wasn’t so hard, was it? No. No, it wasn’t. You just like to give Daddy a hard time, just like to be reminded that she cares. It’s alright, sunshine. Daddy cares. Daddy will always remind you she cares.” Natasha buries her face in your head as she drops the bottle beside her, knowing she’s going to have to come back here with a garbage back tomorrow afternoon anyways. One more bottle isn’t going to hurt anything besides her landscaping as beer sloshes onto the grass, but she thinks her fates already been sealed anyways.
Her hands continue to rub and scratch at your back at first, getting higher and lower, lighter and firmer. She takes you away from the conversation happening around you. You don’t hear Yelena droning on and on, not helping herself with Kate as she explains the slow burn of her relationship with Antonia in a way that could make even the most composed women shake — Kate Bishop is not a composed women, she never stood a chance at staying in her camping chair as Yelena admits to sharing her very first kiss with the scar-faced blonde beneath the chlorinated water of the high school pool. You miss the way the brunette stands and drags the blonde away from the fire, huffing and puffing something about ‘thinking B was the only love affair’ on her way to the house. The sliding glass door slammed closed so hard Wanda felt the vibration in the ground beneath her chair, but you remained passively indifferent, only making faint cooing and humming sounds as Natasha works your skin warm.
Her trailing gets bolder without your noticing, her hands that once started on your back innocently scratching skin trailed down to your thighs before they staked claim where they really wanted to be on your ass. Natasha massages the globes between her palms, still humming along to the conversation, vibrating your cheeks as she pipes in from time to time, but paying the most attention to the way the muscles in your ass twitch and jump in response to her kneading and prodding.
Pepper is in the middle of a story pertaining to something about Stark Industries when Natasha dares to dip her fingers beneath the fabric of your shorts and bottoms, Her fingers are only slightly warm, the chill of the beer keeping them from truly absorbing the warmth of the fire as she sits closer to the flames than anyone else around your small but plentiful circle. You whine into her neck, being shushes carefully moments later.
She doesn’t stop until she’s satisfied, and certain that if she goes on any longer, she’s either going to finger you right there, or Wanda’s going to leap out of her chair and drag you both up the stairs and to the bedroom without so much as a word to the guests slowly losing their energy around the fire. But, even when she retreats, she jostles her thigh just enough to brush your core with the fabric of her trunks, never letting herself be perceived as anything less than a menace.
The party doesn’t drag on much longer. Sharon clears out, then Pepper. Maria offers to stick around and clean up a little bit, but Wanda brushes her off with a well hidden urgency, just wanting to strip herself and fall into bed with you and Natasha for the night. Her emerald eyes are pink with exhaustion around the edges, the days events and emotions finally catching up to her as the first pop of fireworks shoot off from the distance.
Maria promises to send pictures of the ones she sees on her uber ride home, and Wanda thanks her as Natasha coerces you out of her grip and into Wanda’s, telling her girlfriend softly that she’s going to fish out a pair of pajamas for you before they lose you to the calling of sleep that’s going to ring as soon as you make eye contact with your bed.
“Did you have a good night?” Wanda asks quietly once it’s just the two of you in the backyard, the sound of Maria climbing into an uber at the end of the driveway in time with the fireworks in the background confirming your completion of the event and the day.
You nod against Wanda like a sack of potatoes, your arms wrapped around her waist as you seek every bit of warmth and support she’s willing to give you. Your head is heavy, spinning. Your belly doesn’t quiet feel right. You’re running on fumes, well past the point of no return.
“That’s good, my little sun.” Wanda hums, dropping her forehead to the crown of your head, inhaling the mixed scent of her shampoo, your sweat, saltwater, and the sunscreen she’d lathered you in once more before settling around the fire just for precautions. “I’m so glad to hear you had a good time. Maybe next time we won’t have to be so scared abuot it first.”
It takes so much, but somehow, you find the strength to lift you head and find Wanda’s eye, grinning at her bashfully, drunkenly. “Maybe.” You parrot, blinking slowly. If she stands out here with you any longer, she’s almost certain you’ll fall asleep standing up.
“Come on, my love. Let’s get you into your jammies and all cozied up in bed.”
-
Natasha sighs when she makes it through the sliding glass door, the mask she’s worn for the crowd all night finally dropping as she takes her hair down, assessing the damage of the kitchen for a moment with tired eyes. She massages the center of her scalp where the hairtie pulled pieces of her hair the tautest, a shudder shaking her shoulders as the delicious pressure she applies tickles her nerves.
The platters of food Wanda prepared have been destroyed. The salami and bologna she’d laid out in spirals that resembled roses looked like mutiliated blobs on the wooden charcuterie board now, browning and wilted as they sat in two lonely little balls, the surrounding cheese and crackers eaten to crumbs. The fruit salad was lacking too, only a scoop or two left out of the entire bowl Wanda had filled with tender love and affection. Natasha’s glad it got eaten, but she hopes Yelena had gotten her fix, because she can only remember brining a cup of fruit salad out to her twice, and she doubts the blonde had remembered to grab a container for herself whenever she’d left with Kate.
She had to of left, Natasha thinks, suddenly unsure about whether or not Kate and Yelena still linger in the halls or guest bedrooms of the home. It wouldn’t be the first time they stayed behind to release some pent up frustration or sleep over a hangover, but the dogs are eerily quiet too if they remain inside, and the booming of fireworks she tastefully tunes out is incessant enough to at least set Lucky off; he’s always been the least tolerant of the two, but Natasha firmly stands on the belief that it has everything to do with Kate Bishop being the most permissive pet parent she’s ever encountered despite the interest in archery and black belt karate status. For a woman that knows a thing or two about discipline, she has no knack for implementing it in any category of her life.
She drops her hands, more concerned about taking adequate count of the heads in her house than assessing the damage of the party anymore. Her footsteps aren’t as quiet as they had been in the morning, her exhaustion and inebriation corrupting her learned reflexes that remind Wanda so much of a spider.
“Yelena?” She calls out, stepping farther into the kitchen only to stick her head between the opening in the wall and direct her tone toward the staircase upstairs. Nobody’s in the living room, and the hallway leading toward the outdoor linen closet is dark, but her doubt isn’t gone yet as she turns on her heels and walks back toward the dining room, thinking about how Kate prefers the water pressure from that wing of the houses half bath for some reason.
The floorboards creak beneath her clumsy step, but she’s coherent enough to look out for any signs of Lucky or Fanny barreling toward her at the sound. “Kate?” She shouts, rounding the corner into the dining room. She reaches for the light switch, almost certain that she’d left them on to begin with, but only knowing that now, they’re off and the room is painted in darkness that extends until it reaches the bathroom through the room and down the hall.
“Lu—” Natasha’s in the middle of trying to call for the dogs themselves when she catches something she least expects on the table. “Fuck.” She curses, rushing toward it with intention. She can tell from across the room that something’s not right with Monkey-Monkey as he sits on the dining room table slumped over. The last time she’d seen him was in the bedroom, propped up nice and high overtop of the covers. The shadow of his tail seems too far away from his body, and when she gets close enough to understand why, her heart sinks to her feet.
‘The girls must’ve found this in the toy box.
Sorry for the tragedy.
Went home. Grabbed salad.
Suka’
”If anyone’s a bitch it’s fucking you.” Natasha shakes her head as she throws the note she’d found on the table beside your beloved stuffed animal to the floor, trying her hardest to retrace the last place she’d seen her needle and thread. It wasn’t the first time Monkey-Monkey had suffered a tragedy, that was for sure, but tonight was not a night that Natasha wanted to test your ability to regulate your emotions without your fuzzy friend. “I swear, that kids broken everything she’s touched si—”
“Daddy?” Natasha jumps at the call of your voice, and Wanda knows something is wrong before she even sees the ball of matted browns in her girlfriend hands. Her breath hitches when she makes eyes with it though, knowing immediately what had distracted her always alert girlfriend so direly without needing to ask. You giggle, blinking sleepily at Natasha from the doorway of the dining room, swaying on your feet a bit as you stand away form Wanda’s body. “What’re you— Monkey-Monkey. Oh.” Your soft eyes flicker between Natsaha’s face and the stuffed monkey in her hands. It takes only a moment, a single moment, for your face to crumble, pitiful and soft sobs shattering the silence Natasha had once been seeking comfort in.
“This isn’t quite the way you left him, huh.” Natasha doesn’t know what else to do, how else to approach you, this was most definately not on her long list of things that she had mentally prepared for going into today. She’d told you to leave it in the bedroom explicitly so this didn’t happen. She thought she closed the door behind her when she walked out. She thought she did. She was almost certain she’d closed that door, they always close that door. Apparently she didn’t. The evidence is in two pieces in her hands.
He’s relatively unscathed beside the detached tail, that thankfully is its own seperate seam, no stuffing exploding from his butt, but relatively unscathed isn’t what you want to hear right now as Wanda sweeps you up into her arms and tries to console you softly.
“We’ll get him fixed up, sunshine.” Wanda assures, pressing her lips to your temple thats warm from the proximity of the fire even with your face turned away from the flames into Natasha. “We’ll fix him.”
“B-Bedtime!” You sob into the Sokovians chest, reminding her of your routine that hadn’t changed since before you’d even offically moved in with Natasha way back when. One of them always tucks you into bed, then puts Monkey in your arms, and then crawls in after you if work constraints allow. They’ve never dared to mess with that routine. Not while visiting Clint and Laura on the farm they have in Ohio, not while on work trips to LA, or Montana. Never once have either of them ever dared to get you to rest those eyes without the fourth member of your california king sized bed.
“We will have him by bedtime. Nobody is going to make you close those pretty eyes without Monkey. Can you tell me him full name? Huh, can you remind me of what it is?” Wanda remembers it fully, if only because she can’t help but giggle at what was once your imagination when you’d first received the cuddly toy.
You sniffle, glancing up at her with teary, bright red eyes. “M-Monkey-Monkey Ophelia Plum.” You stutter, but the words make you think, make you breathe, and Wanda uses the distraction to usher you up the stairs, leading her questioning into that of what pajamas you want to pick out for yourself tonight, and whether or not you want the fan pointed at you again, or more toward her.
You want the pink pair with the scallops on the sleeves, and you don’t want the fan on you again. Wanda doesn’t fight. She doesn’t argue over the pair of jammies that she helps you into even though you get frustrated with the way the tags rub against your neck in the middle of the night but won’t let be cut out, nor does she remind you that the heatwave is meant to strike again tomorrow, and the humidity is known for sneaking in through the gaps in the windows. She lets you have your way. She lets you whine, and boss, and demand, and she lets you pucker your lips and beg for kisses wordlessly, if only to stall, to make time for Natsaha to pull off a miracle downstairs.
“You did so good today. So good for me and Dady.” Wanda coaxes gently as she drags a wipe between your legs, shushing you softly when you whine at the cold. “Mommy’s gotta clean this little kitty up, sunshine. It’s been so leaky all day. Mommy just wants to make sure her little girl goes to bed nice and clean. You might be too drunk to understand me right now, but you’ll thank me for sparing you from the rash that would’ve happened.” Wanda talks to you in a manner that only dumbs you further, your eyes blinking closed and not opening as you lounge on the bed, spread out and pampered.
Wanda tries not to moan as she wipes down your core one last time, a string of arousal clinging to the wipe and your cunt before it breaks and you’re deemed as clean as she can get you. She wiggles your shorts back up your thighs, thanks her lucky stars that she’d coached you through brushing your teeth and washing your face before she’d undressed you and gotten you changed, and somehow manages you get your heavy, deadweight body beneath the covers just as Natasha creeps into the room holding a companion thats seen better days.
“He’s not perfect. I can make him better tomorrow.” She starts warningly, and your little eyes blink open, the last of your concieousness given to her in this moment. “But, I have someone here who wants to say goodnight to you.”
“Mmm.” You try to hum, and your fingers wiggle against the mattress as you attempt to reach for him, but you’re unsuccessful and Natasha can only laugh endearingly as she stalks closer to the edge of the bed, more than happy to hand him over to you.
She leans forward and kisses your forehead softly, her hair falling forward and tickling your skin slightly. You’d giggle if you could but instead you groan, suddenly very aware of how sick you feel despite the advil Wanda made you choke down with some water in the bathroom. The bathroom. You’re drunk, but you remember all that had gone down in there this morning, and you whine as you wiggle in bed. Natasha shushes you, smoothing her hand down your back.
“Nigh nigh time for you, my sweet girl. Close those pretty eyes. Go to sleep with Monkey.” She’s talking to a wall by the time she finishes coaxing you, your breaths even and soft as she continues to pet your head, running her palm over your messy braid. She’ll give you two tomorrow if you still want them.
Wanda throws a t-shirt and a pair of boxers at her from across the room, already naked and rummaging through her own drawer searching for good enough pajamas. Natasha doesn’t grumble at the old t-shirt or holey boxers she’d been intending to throw away for the last three wash cycles, just glad to have something different and less constrictive on her body after so long in the sun and humid heat. She’s sure she smells. She can feel the thickness on her skin of perspiration thats dried and remelted and dried again, but her and Wanda seem to both be on the same page as they knock elbows while brushing their teeth, both forgoing showers in favor of just crawling into bed with you and each other.
“Lock up and I’ll fix that fan and see if I can get her into another shirt. We’re going to have enough meltdowns tomorrow.” Wanda yawns, rubbing her eyes as she flicks the bathroom light off behind her.
“Come ‘ere first. Barely got to hold you all day.” Natasha grumbles, closing the space between her body and Wanda’s as they share a kiss just feet away from your peaceful sleeping frame. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I never stopped loving you.” She whispers, meaning every word.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. Or her. I love the both of you so much that it hurts.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
sorry if this makes no sense, I have not proofread, just blurted...
So I've written a sequel/diff POV to my Isadora Capri fic Love, Revised (like how I did with A Symphony of Clues and A Refrain of You) and I've had it pretty much finished for over a month now but because of my style of writing I have a lot of one line paragraph sort of things and Tumblr has a block/paragraph spacing limit (which I totally understand) which I have gone over by... a lot... and I keep trying to edit it and shorten it or change my style of paragraphing and it is so so draining and I've restarted over and over again, and it's just so sad to see the fic I wrote (on docs as per usual) having to be changed so much when I was actually really happy with it.
Anywayyyy, I've applied for an Ao3 account which says that I'll get an invite by the 24th of June (which is so long away- Im so so impatient, I had no idea you had to be invited 💔) so I thought maybe I could just upload to full, original fic there? I'm not too familiar with Ao3 except for reading a few fics on there so I was wondering if anyone who has posted on there knows whether there's a block/paragraph limit on there as well???
Also should I maybe upload to wattpad??
I'm not really sure, any guidance would be HEAVILY appreciated, I really want to get this fic out there to you guys in its truest form 💙
Then maybe if I post in full I'll be less stressed and could break it into parts for Tumblr? Idk
The name of the fic is a tempo of tenderness and I freaking need that right now with how stressed I am 😭
anywayyy... much luv, thx, and apologies,
bvnny 💛
Me having a mental breakdown trying to shorten my fic:
SteveHarrington x Fem!Reader (established relationship, newlyweds)
Warnings/Tags: Established relationship, Husband!SteveHarrington, Newlyweds, Domestic fluff, Emotional intimacy, Soft!SteveHarrington, Mild body insecurities, Body image reassurance, Housewarming party prep, Kissing, Implied sexual content, Suggestive themes, Sexual tension, Affectionate touching, steve's love language is deffos physical touch, Playful/teasing/flirty banter, Nothing explicit, No use of y/n, Late 80s/early 90s, Slight foreshadowing, and yeah just cute stuff :) Probs not proofread very well
Find full series warning list in series navigation
part 1 here
A few weeks later, the house finally feels lived in...
Most of the boxes are gone now, unpacked and broken down in the garage. The walls aren't quite as bare, photographs slowly finding their places among crooked picture frames and shelves that Steve insists are straight. The fridge is covered in magnets, the kitchen drawers are organised according to her system, not Steve's, and every room carries little traces of them.
Their home.
Still new enough to make her smile whenever she says it.
The bedroom smells faintly of her perfume.
Something soft and floral, lingering in the air as the late evening light filters through the curtains, catching on the mirror and the scattered little things across her vanity – lipstick, a brush, a pair of earrings set carefully beside each other.
Downstairs, music crackles faintly through the speakers. Something Steve insisted on putting on 'for atmosphere,' even though no one’s arrived yet.
She stands in front of the mirror, smoothing her hands down the front of her dress for what must be the tenth time.
It doesn’t need fixing.
She knows it doesn’t.
Still – her fingers fuss with the fabric anyway, tugging slightly at the waist, flattening something that isn’t wrinkled.
"Okay, so I think the tape deck might actually be-"
Steve’s voice cuts off the second he steps into the room.
She sees it happen in the mirror.
The way he just… stops.
His hand still on the doorframe, his expression going completely still, eyes fixed on her like he’s forgotten whatever he was about to say.
"Wow."
Her lips twitch into a small smile, a faint blush rising as she glances up at him through the mirror.
"Hi," she says softly, almost shy all of a sudden, before her gaze drops again, fingers going back to smoothing the dress. "Do you think it’s alright? I’m starting to think it’s a bit much, I don-"
His hands find her waist before she can finish.
Warm. Familiar.
He steps in close behind her, pulling her gently back against his chest, their reflections lining up in the mirror.
"Darling," he murmurs, voice softer now, but certain, "you look phenomenal."
She lets out a quiet laugh, shaking her head slightly, even as the blush deepens. "That’s a big word for you."
"Hey," he protests lightly, a smile pulling at his mouth, but he doesn’t miss the way she’s deflecting.
He never does.
His grip tightens just a little, grounding, and he leans in, brushing a slow kiss just beneath her ear.
"Okay," he murmurs against her skin, voice dropping into something teasing, "maybe I’ve been expanding my vocabulary..."
Another kiss – lower this time, softer.
"...For occasions like this."
She exhales, the tension in her shoulders easing as she melts back into him, her hands coming up to rest over his where they sit at her stomach, fingers tracing absent patterns along his skin.
"You’re ridiculous," she murmurs, but there’s no bite to it.
"Mm," he hums, lips brushing her neck again. "Still right, though."
She smiles at that, just a little helplessly, before turning slightly in his arms, only as much as he’ll let her.
"Which earrings?"
She lifts one from both options, holding them up above her shoulder so he can see them.
Steve presses one last kiss to her neck before pulling back just enough to actually look, one arm still looped securely around her waist.
He studies them like it’s the most important decision he’s ever made.
Then he reaches out, tapping one.
"That one."
She tilts her head. "Any particular reason?"
"Yeah," he says simply, taking them from her. "They’ll match your eyes."
Her breath catches – just slightly – and she looks away, smiling despite herself.
"Shut up."
"Never."
Before she can reach for the other, his hands are already there.
He turns her gently to face him fully, his touch careful, unhurried, like he has all the time in the world, even though they very much don’t.
She stills, watching him.
There’s something about the way he concentrates – brows slightly furrowed, tongue just barely pressing to the inside of his cheek – that makes her chest feel warm and tight all at once.
He’s so gentle.
Like she’s something delicate.
Like she matters.
Even though she could do this in seconds, she doesn’t interrupt. Doesn’t rush him.
Because this-
this is way better.
When he finally gets the first one in, he leans back just slightly to check his work, then moves to the second, just as careful.
"Hold still," he murmurs, unnecessarily.
She smiles. "I am holding still."
"Could be more still."
She laughs softly, but obliges anyway.
When he finishes, his fingers brush lightly against her jaw as he pulls away.
"There," he says, satisfied.
She leans in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
"Thank you."
But the way she looks at him lingers a second longer.
Says more than just that.
And he knows it.
His hand comes up briefly to cup her cheek, thumb brushing her skin before he lets her go.
She turns back to the mirror, giving herself one last check. Turning slightly, smoothing the back of her dress, glancing over her shoulder-
–and then–
smack.
"Steve!"
She jumps, laughing, hand flying back to swat at him as he grins behind her.
"Sorry, sweetheart."
He doesn’t sound sorry.
Not even a little.
His hands slide back to her hips, pulling her flush against him again, chin resting briefly on her shoulder.
"I did say you looked phenomenal."
"Oh my god," she laughs, shaking her head, but she’s leaning into him again anyway.
Always does.
His lips find her neck again, slower this time, more deliberate – like he’s testing the waters.
She hums softly, eyes closing for just a second as she lets herself sink into it.
Just a second.
Then her eyes open again, catching the clock on the wall.
"Steve," she murmurs, breath a little uneven, "people are gonna start arriving in..." she squints slightly, "...like, eight minutes.”
He kisses a little lower.
Finds that spot that makes her inhale sharply.
"Good thing," he murmurs against her skin, voice warm with amusement, "I only need five."
"Steve-!"
But he’s already turning her, hands firm on her waist as he spins her to face him, kissing her before she can properly protest.
She laughs against his mouth, hands coming up to his chest as he starts guiding her backward.
"Steve, we really shouldn’t-"
"Probably not," he agrees easily, like it means nothing.
The back of her knees hit the bed.
She lets out a surprised little laugh as she sits back slightly, his hands still holding her there, his mouth brushing along her jaw now.
"Seriously," she tries again, though it’s softer now, less convincing.
His hand slides- just enough to make her breath hitch, a soft sound escaping her before she can stop it.
He freezes.
Then slowly pulls back.
He freezes.
Then slowly pulls back.
"…Okay," he says, far too composed, like he’s making a noble sacrifice. "You’re right. I’ll stop."
There it is.
That tone.
Barely there, but she knows him.
She stares at him for half a second, breath uneven, lips parted, eyes flicking briefly – traitorously – to the clock on the wall.
Seven minutes.
Her gaze drifts back to him.
To the way he’s looking at her.
To the way his hands are still resting at her waist like he hasn’t actually let go of the idea at all.
She exhales, something caught between a sigh and a laugh.
"Okay," she says, already leaning in, already closing the distance between them. "But you better make it quick."
His eyebrows lift – just slightly, impressed – and then she’s kissing him again before he can respond.
It’s not tentative this time.
It’s warm and certain and wanting.
She pulls back only for a second, breath brushing his lips. "And don’t ruin my hair."
"Wouldn’t dream of it," he murmurs, smiling.
Then she’s kissing him again, deeper this time, her hand sliding to the back of his neck, fingers curling into his hair, holding him there.
Her other hand moves lower, finding the line of his waistband, and-
Steve lets out a quiet laugh against her mouth, something a little disbelieving, a lot fond.
"Jesus," he breathes, but he’s already pulling her closer, hands slipping down to find the hem of her dress, fingers brushing warm skin as he lifts it just enough.
She exhales softly into his mouth, pressing closer, like she can’t quite get enough of him.
Like she never does.
His forehead bumps lightly against hers for half a second, both of them a little breathless, a little giddy with it.
"Jeez," he murmurs, voice low, eyes flicking over her face like he’s trying to take it all in at once, "you really are phenomenal."
She laughs quietly, but it melts into something softer as she kisses him again.
And the world narrows.
Just for a little while.
A few minutes later-
The bedroom is quieter.
The air warmer.
Softer, somehow.
She stands in front of the mirror again, smoothing her hands over her dress – again, though this time there’s a faint flush still lingering across her cheeks, her lips a little more pink than before.
She adjusts one of her earrings – still in place, thanks to him – and takes a steadying breath.
Behind her, Steve is already halfway out the door, running a hand quickly through his hair, trying (and failing) to make himself look a little more put together.
“They’re here!” he calls, already moving down the hallway.
“Go!” she calls back, laughing under her breath. “I’ll be down in a second!”
His footsteps thud down the stairs, followed by the distant sound of the front door opening, his voice greeting someone brightly, easy, warm, like nothing happened at all.
She lingers for just a moment longer.
Her eyes flick, almost unconsciously, to the bed.
Sheets slightly rumpled.
A quiet, intimate kind of mess.
Her smile turns soft.
Fond.
A little flustered.
"Insatiable," she murmurs to herself, shaking her head just slightly.
Then she reaches over, flicks off the bedroom light, and pulls the door closed behind her-
carrying that warmth with her as she heads downstairs,
Sorry it took so long, I started writing a completely different part two and intended this to be part three instead and push everything back a part but... I think I'm just gonna make what I was writing like a drabble? Then maybe I can just add extra parts that don't need to be read within the context of the story but they are just cute and you get to see a bit more of their relationship??
All likes, follows, comments, reblogs and requests are very much appreciated - I love hearing from you guys! 💙
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
SteveHarrington x Fem!Reader (established relationship, newlyweds)
Warnings/Tags: Newlywed Steve Harrington, Established relationship, Husband!SteveHarrington, third-person limited, domestic fluff, hurt/comfort series (the hurt comes later), kissing, implied sexual content, suggestive themes, emotional intimacy playful teasing, use of pet names, reader insert (no use of y/n), late 80s/early 90s setting, brief mentions of family planning, cute soft idiots in love :)
Find full series warning list in series navigation
The key sticks for a moment...
Steve jiggles it, shoulder nudging the door like that’ll help somehow, breath puffing out in a half-laugh, half-groan.
"C’mon," he mutters, mostly to the lock, like it’s personally offending him. "Don’t do this to me on day one."
Behind him, she shifts her weight, suitcase bumping gently against her leg. "Maybe it already knows you’re going to be a nightmare homeowner."
He huffs out a quiet laugh at that, glancing back over his shoulder. She’s smiling – soft, a little tired from the drive, hair not quite sitting right after hours in the car – but glowing in that way that still catches him off guard sometimes.
His wife.
Jesus.
The lock finally clicks.
"Ha!" Steve pushes the door open triumphantly, stepping forward – and then stopping just as she moves to pass him. His arm comes up automatically, bracing against the doorframe, blocking her entrance.
"And what do you think you’re doing, sweetheart?"
She blinks up at him, already smiling, head tilting just slightly in that way that makes something in his chest go warm and stupid. "Going into our home?" she says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
God, he loves her.
"On your own two feet?" Steve shakes his head, mock-serious. "I don’t think so."
Before she can even react, he drops his suitcase with a thud onto the porch and swoops her up.
She squeals, startled laughter bursting out of her as her own bag slips from her hand and lands beside his.
"Steve! What are you doing?!"
"Carrying my bride over the threshold," he says, like she’s the ridiculous one. "Duh."
"Oh."
Her arms come up around his neck easily, instinctively, fingers curling into the soft collar of his shirt as she settles against him. That smile softens into something fond, something a little more private.
“You’re so stupid.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he murmurs, but he’s grinning.
She leans in and kisses him – quick at first, just a soft press of lips that lingers for half a second too long to be casual. It’s enough to make his brain go pleasantly blank.
"Well," she murmurs against him when she pulls back, voice warm, teasing, "what are you waiting for, husband?"
Steve blinks, like he’s just remembered his own plan.
"Right. Yep. Important tradition."
He steps forward then, carrying her over the threshold properly this time, like it matters. Like it means something.
The door creaks behind them, the house quiet and still, the air faintly dusty with that closed-up, unused smell. Boxes are stacked along the walls, mismatched and uneven, labels scribbled in marker – kitchen, bedroom, misc. stuff?? – a whole life waiting to be unpacked.
But he barely notices.
He’s too busy looking at her.
He sets her down slowly, hands lingering at her waist like he’s not quite ready to let go.
She glances around, taking it all in – the bare walls, the scuffed floor, the way the late afternoon light spills in through the front window, warm and golden.
For a moment, she just… breathes it in.
Then, softer, almost to herself, "It’s ours."
Something in Steve’s chest just-
He doesn’t even think about it. He leans in and kisses her again. Once, twice, three times in quick succession, like he can’t help himself.
"Steve-" she laughs, trying to push him back, but there’s no real effort in it.
"I know, I know," he mumbles, pressing one more kiss to her cheek anyway. "I just- yeah. Ours. That’s… yeah."
His hands slide down from her waist to her hips, pulling her just a little closer.
She looks up at him then, properly, and there’s that look – soft and open and so full of love it almost makes him dizzy. And... because he’s incapable of leaving anything alone for too long, his expression shifts, something more mischievous creeping in.
Her eyes narrow slightly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Steve hums, like he’s considering something very serious.
"Remind me," he says, voice dropping just a little, "how many bedrooms does our house have?"
She frowns, confused but playing along. "Uh… four? If you include the study." A beat. "Why?"
"Oh, no reason," he says lightly, but his hands tighten on her hips, tugging her closer until there’s barely any space left between them.
Her breath catches, just slightly.
"I just figure," he continues, quieter now, grin turning softer but no less teasing, "it’s good to know exactly how much room we’ve got to… fill."
It takes a second.
And then-
"Steve Harrington."
Her face warms instantly, that blush spreading up her neck as she tries (and fails) to look scandalised.
"What?" he says, completely unrepentant.
She shakes her head, but she’s smiling, eyes dropping for a second before flicking back up to his. "You’re unbelievable."
"Mm," he murmurs. "You married me."
"Regretting it already."
"Liar."
She opens her mouth to argue but he kisses her before she can.
This one’s different.
Slower.
Deeper.
Her hands slide up his chest, fingers curling into his shirt before moving higher, settling on his shoulders, and then into his hair. His hair. The one thing he’s always been weirdly protective of, except with her.
Never with her.
He exhales softly as her fingers thread through it, tightening just slightly, and his grip on her hips shifts – firmer now, pulling her flush against him.
The world narrows.
Boxes, dust, the open door to their new neighbourhood... everything else just fades.
There’s only her.
Her breath, her warmth, the way she leans into him like she fits there.
Like she always has.
And like she always will.
When they finally pull apart, it’s only barely, foreheads resting together, breaths mingling, neither of them moving far.
She lets out a small, breathless laugh. "We’re supposed to be unpacking."
"Mhmm," Steve says, not sounding remotely convinced.
Her thumb brushes absentmindedly along the back of his neck. "And the bags are still outside."
"Tragic."
"Steve."
He grins, eyes flicking toward the stairs for half a second before coming back to her.
Then, without warning, his hands shift – sliding down, hooking under her thighs as he lifts her again.
She gasps, then laughs, instinctively wrapping her legs around his waist, arms tightening around his neck.
"Steve-!"
"Priorities," he says, like it’s obvious.
He kicks the front door shut behind him without looking, the sound echoing softly through the empty house.
The sun dips lower outside, golden light stretching across the floor, catching on abandoned suitcases and unopened boxes.
And upstairs...
well,
their life together is just getting started.
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
AHH! Part one! Hope you like it!?
This part is definitely more 'Steve feelings heavy' and this will fluctuate between the two of them throughout the story but I hope this was a good little intro into their love and relationship before... well yep... no spoilers...
Anywayyy, all likes, follows, comments, reblogs and requests are very much appreciated - I love hearing from you guys! 💙