third times a charm !

+bonus drawing for this situation

this came to me

this came to me

Yancy and Heapass seem to have a good time on their new channel

steven really doesn’t wanna talk, because if he talks he might say something regretful. but he doesn’t want “space”, so amethyst can worriedly hang.

teenage things! bein mad at the world. being mad at yourself. having parents be worried about you. being a saviour of the galaxy and having the burden coming with that. jus’ regular things.

There has been a growing negativity in this community lately, specifically here on Tumblr that I think needs addressing. I’m tired of seeing the community at each other’s throats and my lack of communication on it isn’t helping. 

What was once people posting criticism and feedback has now turned into extremely harsh judgment, personal opinions and outright nasty name calling. That shit is NOT ok. That’s not criticism, it’s unfiltered judgement and hate. You can talk about how I make videos and my job but trying to dictate how I live my personal life and who is in it is crossing a very big line. As soon as you start telling people what to do because of how YOU feel, that’s a really big red flag. My personal life and my relationships in it are not entertainment and shouldn’t be treated as some sort of reality TV. You don’t have to like it and that’s perfectly fine too. I know I’m not perfect and I’ve never pretended to be but sometimes it feels like people put such huge expectations and stanards on my behaviour that it was always bound to let you down at some point. I used to share a lot about myself with you guys. I was incredibly open and talked about everything that was on my mind. This led to more people opening up to me and relating to me heavily which was great, for a while. Eventually I started getting burdened by other people’s mentalities and problems and being the type of person that I am I empathised a lot and tried to help. Not to invalidate what those people were going through but it’s hard to take on other people’s thoughts everyday when I struggled with my own already. Eventually this mentally burned me out and affected my life more than I’d like to admit. I’ve since gotten to a better balance and have closed off more of myself. Not because I care less or don’t want to interact with the community but it’s better for me mentally and that’s always been priority no.1 as it should be with all of you too. 

I’ve seen people say that I have less energy in videos now and that must mean I’m depressed and hate my job but it’s really just me growing up and out of that version of myself. I’m stil positive and I’m still energetic, I just don’t go to 100% all the time anymore because I don’t need to. I’ve matured and I’ve grown a lot and I’m almost 30, of course I’m not going to have the exact same energy I did when I started making vids. I’m not trying to prove myself constantly anymore. That’s either something you come to terms with and grow/mature with me or there’s plenty of other youtubers out there that will likely fit what you want out of them. Sticking around and trying to force me back to that place or destroying the community because you don’t like it is NOT ok. There’s been so much minsinformation thrown around about me too and if you read or hear enough lies about someone, you’ll eventually start to believe them. Toxicity is enticing and spreads really easily. Put yourself in other people’s shoes more before you post stuff. 

I’ve also seen the claim that I repeat jokes too much now and they go on too long but this is feels really misinformed because my channel has always had running jokes that went on a long time. Happy Wheels and Turbo Dismount were both series that had like 5 jokes each repeated for a VERY long time. Now is no different. 

I used to blame myself heavily for the rift that happened in the community but it’s not all on me. I’m just one person and I can point you in the right direction but I shouldn’t have to come back every few months to make posts like this just to make sure people stop arguing and causing drama. There is some really childish and petty behaviour at play that I have never endorsed or encouraged. I shouldn’t have to be here babysitting the community all the time. I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken up sooner and I know this post will likely make some of the more toxic parts of the community flare up even more but I’m tired of feeling like absolute shit because of this stuff. Life’s too short for this shit. I want to have fun with you guys again, not get bogged down in all the tiny details of everything that’s happening.