Anyway, did y'all hear that they nuked the White House?

Google has already announced that they will be “rolling back” this feature because of screenshots like these:

🌱 EXTREMELY ROBUST SCALLIONS 🌱

do NOT scroll past the scallions. these are extremely robust. i did not seek them out, they were placed before me.

the produce misters had just run. the bundles were tight. the whites were WHITE. good fortunes await.

🧅 repost within 24 hours: robust scallions

🧅 repost within 1 hour: robust scallions + minor windfall

🧅 do not repost: limp scallions. flaccid stalk. the celery will look at you and it will know.

a man in Fresno scrolled past. his scallions went to seed the same evening. his dog stopped making eye contact.

a woman reposted immediately. she found $40 in a coat. her scallions have not wilted since March.