⭐️

He tried. He put in the effort. He wanted things to work with someone else. But it was as if he were a piece of a puzzle that only fit yours. No one else’s.

Your relationships hadn’t fared any better over the past decade. It almost felt like fate: the two of you suffering through other loves, only to find your way back to each other in the end—because you worked together and had a group trip planned.

And you weren’t even supposed to be in Johnny’s room.

But there had been a mix-up with the reservation, which ended with him calmly asking:

— Do you want to share a room?

And you answering, just as solemnly:

— Of course. Why not?

The funniest part was that it had been a rhetorical question. You knew exactly why not. You knew your body would go on high alert, that you’d feel the weight of his gaze on you, that you’d look back… and that maybe—

— It looks cute on you.

You laughed as you stepped out of the bathroom. You had never handled diminutives well—you always felt like Johnny said things like that just to please you. But it was either that or sleep in a suit, and as comfortable as your outfits were during conferences, they were far from cozy.

— Johnny, this is basically a tent.

— It’s not my fault you’re tiny… is it politically correct to say that?

— It’s not my fault you have gigantism.

— I think in adults it’s called acromegaly.

— Can you stop being annoyingly smart?

Johnny smiled, and for a moment, it felt like time had rewound. That light, teasing dynamic—just like when you were younger. When he would mess with you, but it always ended with kisses on your bed, in your parents’ house. When you’d take pictures in every photo booth you found because you were obsessed with them—and always had to pay twice so each of you could keep a copy.

— Come here.

He asked, and you nodded, a little unsure. You bit your lower lip as your messy bun came undone, strands of hair falling like cascades over your shoulders.

Johnny had always liked that.

And he liked it even more when you sat beside him.

There were differences between the twenty-year-old girl and the woman before him now. Your hair color had changed, there were a few tattoos scattered here and there… maybe he could discover more if he lifted the fabric of the shirt just a little—

— I think I still like you.

The touch of his hand against your face almost made your heart stop. You had longed for it so much you could barely breathe. He caressed your cheek, leaning closer as your eyes darted between his and his lips.

— They say you never forget your first love.

— I’m thinking I want you to be my first, my last, and my only.

You smiled—and suddenly, all the embarrassment was gone. It felt like giving him permission. Johnny kissed you, pulled you onto his lap, touching your skin with a familiarity that time hadn’t erased. His fingers found that specific spot on your waist, and he gently bit your neck, drawing out that same soft laugh from you.

— Stop that! Let me talk too! — you said, laughing.

Johnny knew every one of your weaknesses. And no one had ever dared—or managed—to take his place.

— Go ahead.

You took a deep breath, looking at him.

— I think I still love you.

Johnny smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

— Good, — he murmured. — because I’m sure of it.

ᦵ .݂ ֯ 𓇮 𝖙𝓱𝓮 cannon did not want children. that’s what he’s told every journalist, every super supporter in his comment section, and mama cade; he did not see himself producing offspring with his beautiful fianceé. ysabelle cade was okay with that, for she too did not want any mini version. children are fragile and loud and expensive and cameron cade’s pretty selfish. but there was an odd, impossible to ignore, twinge at the centre of his gut that had invaded the moment he laid his eyes on you . . . again, cuddled beside the mini creed-taylor.

it’d been only four nights since the celebration . . . and you dreaded the idea of facing life around cameron after that rendezvous. you were gonna say it. that word, and he knew. he’s worked it all over in his head and he was certain. certain that he wasn’t thinking himself loony. and because you didn’t do well around him or ysa’s friend group, you wanted nothing more than for the happenings of that night to be erased. he’s getting married soon, maybe it was time you you went back to pining over him. and he should do the same — minus the pining part, obviously.

but he was . . . starting to actually like you. he couldn’t say it for sure, but he definitely didn’t hate you anymore. he didn’t want to. he didn’t think he would label this new development as feelings, which was a word that held way too much emotional weight, but . . . he felt different. there hadn’t even been a moment where he wanted to dump you off somewhere. the desire to be cruel to you was pretty much gone. only took two sessions and to be apart for four nights!

seemed too easy.

sure, he could still mash you if he tried, but he didn’t want to try anymore. instead, he wants to share a private meal and learn you. everything after high-school. the bits he consciously chose to miss. like, why’d you turn away from finance and go into education? or, did you keep up with his professional stats . . . even for a short while? or, with whom from the past decade would you consider ‘serious’?

and cameron doesn’t even realise he’s staring blankly into space until he’s elbowed in the soft meat of his waist and told that he looks stupid staring into space. adonis reminds his good friend, and former opponent, to remove those sneakers and line ‘em up on the rack. his woman didn’t like tracks around their place and cameron tended to treat every living space like his own. and though cameron knew bianca’s rule, he enjoyed working her nerve.

thinking of b : “mm, was just about to text you two. again.” she’s descending the mahogany stairs, looking between the grown men holding three brown-paper bags each. tonight’s meal. a day-old tradition bianca wanted to incorporate into their lives. she says she misses the inner-circle’s closeness. but in actuality, she was apart of a facebook group that made her feel guilty for not hosting frequent, intimate gatherings to ‘strengthen familial connections’.

with a finger, bianca motions toward the pearly white kitchen, sprinkling droplets. when she touches the bottom, instead of following the guys, she goes for the front door, still wagging water from her hands. she peers through that frosty, opaque opening, wondering if maybe they’d returned with a third and just left her outside? but no. there was no third. bianca twists the lock down and turns on both heels, curls bouncing in her effortless, shaggy high pony.

“cam, where’s ysa? i know you saw my message.” yeah, he did see it. but ysa was . . . she wasn’t feeling it. she was in a mood. and cameron wasn’t in the mood for her mood; no one liked ysa when she got into her little moods. “really? not feelin’ dinner? - i swear we were on the phone like an hour ago, she seemed fine.” well, anything can happen in an hour. everyone knew that. a five minute argument had the power to ruin someone’s entire week.

and while bianca’s unloading a paper bag, something in her spirit does not believe that bleak, weirdly vague excuse. his hesitation was unappreciated and quite concerning, since when he didn’t have donnie’s shoulder to whine on, he had hers. it was almost offensive he wasn’t up for a little blabbering. but she guessed it be best to leave that where it was for now. because no one liked cam when he got into his little moods —

plus, she’d find out when ysa called later tonight. that’s what usually happened anyways. after any and every disagreement, no matter how big or small, cameron left for some fight club forty minutes out to ‘cool off’, and ysa rang bianca . . . slurring over words, finger tangled around the stem of a tall wine glass overflowing with bitter red wine.

“we got’chu next time.” which sounded honest enough. “promise, bia. ‘nd you know i keep my promises.” pssh. bianca’s crunching two paper bags into a gigantic ball, her lips crooked upward, and an expression of yeah fucking right plastered on her face. if he lied to her again, he was liable to get struck by lightning.

“grab those two for me, would’ya?” and he watches bianca stab a wooden spoon over at the center most bit of her and adonis’ living area: lamps, vanilla candles, and ceiling lights set on warm-yellow. the brown curtains, matching the pillows and throw blankets in shade, are swiped back to let the natural deep blue evening sky spill in. “mara’s helping us cook. she would not leave me alone ‘bout it,” with a soft smile.

cameron nods, drumming both hands above the countertop before pushing off and heading around. he tried to hide his uneasiness. you were so cute looking; skipping with your niece in a dress the babiest of pinks, a cone-shaped headdress balancing atop your hair, wand in one hand and wii-stick in the other —

“. . . heey -?” but his voice dies flat when he can feel his cheeks go hot. he decides he’d rather not interrupt, because for the next minute or so, you were the imaginary mother of his imaginary kid.

the cannon did not want children. but if there had been any blessings left for him in this world, he would not mind it. this. just one munchkin. one chunky munchkin that was half yours. he would commit and do the whole parenting thing with you. only if the universe were to ever allow that ending . . . but he would not dare get his hopes high. this situation was a nasty one, he could admit.

it takes thirty seconds for the dance round to come to a bittersweet end. you’re out of breath, posed like you’ve just wrapped up a sold, worldwide pop tour. and amara, she’s in a similar state — the glitter within her purple tutu catching the rainbow lights as she wobbles precariously on her tiptoes. she manages all of two wonky steps before pitching sideways into your thigh, clutching onto you for dear life just before she can face-plant into the carpet.

cameron licks back a chuckle — and the instant amara looks his way, he quickly schools his features, wiping the grin from his face before she can mistake it for mockery. he raised one hand to his mouth, a sign he’s learned as a generic question: you okay, mara?

she rubs her tiny chin, humming and just now remembering that round four required a third dancer. little fingers fluttering and shaping each word in the air: i ‘may’ feel better if you play with me and auntie. they finish at her waist, where she gives an eager wiggle, wearing the sweetest, most hopeful smile ever.

cameron turns to you first and you’re stuck looking at cutie amara, mindlessly twirling a soft curl about one finger, unwilling to meet his face. he wasn't sure whether he was deserving of that. whatever’s happening right now. but he lifts both big hands anyway and goes: finish dinner. okay? bia . . . [searching for the appropriate sign]. waits for you. the girl offers her uncle a good job thumb. then, with one small nod in her auntie’s direction: “and you,” he said.

amara marched up the puffy couch cushions and swiveled over like a superhero. a short-cut, she called it. you didn’t have the luxury of doing such superhero move, so you take the long-way, silly fabric squiggling behind — “i want a minute.”

that’s when you halt and look over your shoulder, puffing out a deep, annoyed sigh. as much as he didn’t want to start anything or make a fuss in your brother’s home, there was no sleeping tonight if he didn’t get what he had on his heart off. “jus’ one. swear.” sounded too familiar and you can recall how that resulted: the l word nearly slipping free.

he promised not to touch you. he promised to stand at arm’s length. and while you’re lapping it over in your mind for the moment, he anxiously awaited your response. but before an answer can be exchanged, adonis claps him on the shoulder. the skin-to-skin strike was loud and must’ve been painful, but cameron didn’t have any sort of reaction. adonis had something cool to show off. something about the world cup. “real quick, real quick,” pulling at cameron’s weight.

upon entering the kitchen, you’re immediately assigned to vegetable dicing and chicken seasoning. “what was that?” bianca wondered, handing over an extra container of oregano and black pepper. “what was what?” but she can see right through your act of cluelessness . . . not enough to put two-and-two together though. she knew that you and cameron grew up constantly bumping heads, so whatever that was could’ve been about anything. literally. anything. tipping each other over the ledge never took a lot.

“just not in front of mara.” who was spooning a huge bowl of jiffy cornbread mix, crown lopsided and cheeks somehow streaked with flour. “i beggg,” while kindly cuffing your arm. of course. of course. never would your niece see you like that. arguing with a man over something so . . . yeah.

as you’re chopping through two fat carrots, you can only think about cameron. the last four nights were bizarre, but it also felt weirdly natural — not normal, but undemanding. missing him felt like . . . it felt right. it felt like you’d returned to planet earth after spending some time in space.

you already liked him, but the want for friendship didn’t scare you anymore. for the first time ever. and obviously, for that to happen, you and cameron would have to stop fucking and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that to end just yet. whatever this was, it was a shitty place. but it wasn’t exactly a horrible place; better than arguing and kicking at the other. just one filled with a lot of frustration and confusion and unfaithfulness . . .

and in order for a casual-friendship to work, you [a]. had to stand up for yourself. this ‘i fucking despise you’ dynamic was so tired. and [b]. you seriously couldn’t have sex with him again . . .

— the real test of character was here. right now. dinner was over and the dishes were stacked away. amara got four more just dance! rounds out of her family and was down for the night. adonis snuggled in the same bed, snoring amongst fairy-lights and glowy stars. and his wife was in a private bathroom, singing to tamar braxton, applying the rest of a charcoal face mask and waiting for ysa to call.

as for cameron . . . he was missing you in that fairytale costume. he’s still at the dining table taking irregular swigs from a longneck bottle of warm beer and watching you gather up your belongings.

he has his bottom lip pulled between his thumb and forefinger in contemplation. he couldn’t remember the last time he’s ever been this anxious — absolutely terrified — to speak to a woman. or the last time panic rattled his entirety at the mere thought of potentially never being able to have a pussy squeezing his cock again. this was torture; to be in your presence and not have you as he wanted you.

“what time you plan on leaving out?” he dropped his fingers from his lips and redirected his weirdly intense gaze elsewhere. he’s assuming that you must’ve found it strange that he’s sat back longer than he also expected. now looking at you: “after . . .” cameron scoots the chair a bit, “. . . i get that conversation.”

guess this was the perfect window.

you’re seeing him begin to stand from the dining table and in what seemed like the longest second of your life, you wanted to unclasp his belt and jump into his arms. it was impossible not to. it was impossible not to want him. to ache for him and hope for him, as you’ve always had . . . “i was going to say it.”

he guessed it was nice to have a confirmation. “hasn’t left my mind.” after countless feeble attempts, it was no use. it was and had to be your body under his. from here on and forever. you’ve made his home life impossible. he can not kiss his fiancée as he used to, because her lips are not your own. he can not hug his fiancée, because her body is not your own. just existing here now, mere feet from you, has his resolute hanging by a thread.

“but, y’know. that’s what happens during sex - we say things we don’t mean,” you blurted. a cheap cop-out. one he couldn’t accept. or embrace. did you seriously think he’d take that?

“it’s been a long, hard coupl’a nights . . . and i’ve . . . i’ve underestimated you.” or rather, he believed he couldn’t fall for the girl he used to pinch and bite following rough, adult sex in a muggy, male locker-room. but that’s what he did.

he wasn’t too worried though. about this here. he knew he could get your legs open again as soon as this madness was all over.

“i’ve tried reaching you- calls. texts. voicemails. that phone broke?” cameron gestures to the device indenting one front pocket. no, it was not broken. nor cracked a smidge. its condition was immaculate actually. you hold a hand over your concealed phone and shake your head, muttering no. “i silenced everything . . . wasn’t ready ‘s’all.” and scared you might’ve spooked him. “but, uhm- i have’to apologise.” not just to him, but to ysa. and adonis. and bianca. and mama cade. and your momma! “i know better.”

woahwoahwoah. cameron catches your arm, careful of the slipping purse. “‘m not mad. ‘ight? i’m not. but- hey. hey- i do think we can try somethin’.” he wanted you more than anything. more than everything. “- i wan’a try something with you.” try? with pupils blown and bigger than the moon. “something that’s more serious- you’d like that, yeah?”

serious like what? secret girlfriend-boyfriend, serious?

“no.” like there could be a serious label after tonight.

“no?” he’s plucked. “you’ve said no more than three words t’me all night.” and for very good reason. “i don’t want that again.” . . . “i showed up ‘cause i miss you.” but also ‘cause he knew ysa wouldn’t be on his arm to bullshit and yank him away. “i cannot think of anyone else.” — cameron releases your arm without even meaning to and paces sloppy circles about the space between the dining area and the living area. a tell-tale sign that he was spiralling and getting ready to crash. “i can’t.”

you swallow thickly, gripping both hips for stability and comfort. seeing the way he moved was making your mind tilt and legs jelly. the nervous energy that warped and buzzed around cameron was spreading and latching onto you. “yeah- i’m not doing this.” fresh air. get outside. fressh airr. out.sidde.

“if not now, then when? huh?” cameron hurried forth, adamant on keeping you from leaving out of that front door.

gulp. “maybe when you feel like havin’ sex with me again,” right as you’re about to snatch back the handle: “oh don’t- don’t you dare do that.” because there was something awful in your voice. and he wasn’t going for it. shit wasn’t fair. “i did not lure you into some - fucked, degrading ass shit -“

“you didn’t have to!” oh crap. that was much louder than what you were going for. but not as loud as the grumbling in your tummy and the thrashing of your upset heart. “you- my gosh- cameron,” said with an enormous sense of wrongness, “you know how i feel- have felt about you for years. years.”

okay, so, yeah. maybe he used that to get over the bridge that night in the locker-room. maybe your feelings made it easier. cameron had always known how to press. and you'd always had a weakness for persistence. cameron’s bedroom-life wasn’t the greatest then and still isn’t now. and yours is and has never existed to begin with. no offense.

making a choked noise, “you knew.”

“. . . i did.” a confession; there was real history here. jacked up, cracked up history. but it was there. “and you knew too.” you couldn't claim surprise. couldn't claim innocence. or victim. the only victim in this case was ysa. he’d gotten you halfway, holding the door open, and the other half had been your own two feet.

“but did you not hear what i just said? . . .” cameron hunched down until he was eye level and cradled the sides of your neck. then gently cupped both of your cute cheeks. “i. want. you.”

but it . . . it doesn’t feel good. this doesn’t feel like love. not from him. not the kind you'd spent all those lonely nights imagining. you've wanted him to choose you for so long, yet now that he was, all you could feel was the mess of how he'd gotten here. there were no butterflies and there were no sparkles and there were no confetti cannons. "i want you to want me - the right way."

the right way? he wasn’t getting it. he wasn’t understanding your opposition. you’ve wanted him for years. fucking years, like you said. since before you could even comprehend what romantic feelings were. all you’ve ever been able to think about was cameron cade. all you’ve ever known to breathe for was cameron cade. and to be chased by him. and to call him yours. and now that he was purposing the idea, you were . . . declining. ???

did he have to leave ysa?

“jus’ . . .” he righted himself and wiped his face with a deep, full-body groan. “jus’ sit down.”

but sitting down was not happening. you’re looking at him with disgust and deep sorrow and neither hear the soft-as-a-mouse footfalls at the staircase — “this . . . is not affection,” barely able to speak over the nausea. “this shit . . . is- it’s messy.” which might’ve been the nicest word to use here. “and you do not want the’real me.”

maybe he believed it was love. maybe he even meant every word. but compared to everything you'd carried for him your entire life, it felt flimsy. what you had, it was forged by time and vexation and disappointment and patience. “i . . . want someone who’ll see me as someone.” . . . it had been easy to give him your body because your heart had belonged to him. but giving him the rest of your life? that was different. that required believing he loved you for reasons that existed before the night in the locker-room. and you didn't.

cameron’s brows fold into themselves and his arms uncross. defeated. “would you please jus’ sit down?”

that . . . was not happening. it couldn’t. another minute spent talking with cameron was another minute you could’ve been home, in the bed, holding a bowl of chopped fruit and the television streaming season four of the big bang theory. “goodnight, cameron.”

and you left without saying anything else.

he should’ve told you that the sex wasn’t to be taken to heart. just something fun, he figured. but having known you his whole life, saying that not only would’ve hurt you —

but it would’ve kept you away . . .

You and Tyriq stumbled into the semi dark hotel room, bumping into each other and giggling. You two had just gotten back from Tyriq’s birthday dinner where y’all both got tipsy and touchy which led to calling an uber to leave early.

Leaving his own birthday party to fuck was crazy but neither of you cared at the moment.

As soon as Tyriq closed the door with his foot he began to start walking you towards the bed. Once the back of your legs hit the bed, he pushed you down onto it.

“Remember what you promised me?” He asked while leaning down to hover over you.

A few weeks ago, Tyriq asked if for his birthday, you’d sit on his face.

It was something you’d always felt opposed to but with some liquid courage and your man’s encouragement…You were down.

“Yes.” You nodded your head and scooted up the bed.

Tyriq followed you up the bed, stripping his clothes as he went. Once he made it to his dress shirt, he started to fumble with the buttons.

“You taking too damn long to unbutton that shirt.” You burst out into laughter with him falling into laughter right with you.

“Ah fuck it.”

After a few more attempts, he gave up and left the shirt half unbuttoned. He started crawling over to reclaim his position on top of you.

“You sure you wanna do this?” The softness in his voice was definitely a contrast from the look in his eyes. He stared down at your designer dress and how it fit your figure so well, he just wanted to eat you up—well he was about to.

“I’m sure.”

The second the words left your mouth, he wrapped his arm around your waist and flipped you so you were straddling his chest. You reached for the hem of your dress but he pulled your hands away from the hem.

“Keep it on, and get up here.” Tyriq couldn’t wait any longer. You shifted higher, giving him more reach to touch the pink lacy panties you had on. “So pretty. You wore these f’me?”

“I did. Do you like it?”

“Mhm I do.” A loud rrrip went throughout the room. He ripped your panties straight down the middle.

“Tyriq! I thought I told you to stop doing tha-“ A sharp smack to your ass cut you off.

“Shut up and put that pussy on my face.” He wasn’t asking, he was telling. And what did you do? You listened. He formed a tight grip on your hips as he pulled you down onto his face.

He aligned your pussy with his mouth and you didn’t hesitate to close the distance.

Tyriq didn’t waste any time licking from your sopping hole to your clit with his slick pink tongue. Almost immediately, you regretted not doing this any sooner. He always ate you out but the feeling of being on top of him like this was something out of this world.

The room was silent except for your heavy breathing and the sound of Tyriq’s mouth lapping and sucking up all of your juices.

“Fuck, we should’ve been did this.” You looked down at him and his darkened eyes and how drunk he looked—not just off of the alcohol you drank earlier—off of the taste of your pussy.

He hummed against you as a response and pulled back momentarily. “I told you baby.” His voice came out lower and rougher than he last spoke. His enjoyment in giving you pleasure was evident by the way his bulge strained against his jeans.

Tyriq moved you up some more and you felt his tongue slide into your pussy, making you gasp. You could feel him swirling and flicking his tongue inside of you like he was trying to scoop out your orgasm.

You couldn’t help but start rocking your hips against his mouth. A soft yelp left your mouth when his nose nudged against your clit.

“So perfect…” You whispered and groped your breast through your dress. Tyriq didn’t seem to be complaining about his position so you sped up the movement of your hips.

The hums deepened into moans and you looked back over your shoulder to see him rutting against the air. You faced forward again and locked eyes with his hungry stare.

He dragged your hips up and down his mouth, quickening the speed at which they moved. One hand scratched at his low cut hair while the other remained on your breast.

“You’re enjoying this way too much.” A breathless laugh left your mouth watching Tyriq close his eyes, relishing in your pleasure and making you feel good.

He smiled against you and held your hips down while he sucked on your clit. “Oh that’s it Ty!” Your body stuttered and you clawed at his scalp even more.

Just as you were about to reach your peak, he pulled away and moved you onto his chest. “W-What?” Your brows furrowed, thighs shaking, and chest heaving.

“You not coming nowhere but my dick right now.” He grumbled and moved you to his lap before sitting up against the headboard. His arms wrapped around your waist to undo his jeans and pull himself out of his underwear.

He wasted no time pulling you flush against his chest and lining his dick up with your pussy and dragging you down onto him.

“This pussy is so warm and wet baby.” He was hardly 3 inches in and he was already losing it. Slowly but surely you sank all the way down onto him, swallowing his thick cock whole.

Tyriq grabbed your ass cheeks and started to guide you up and down his cock. A sniffled moan left your mouth as you two fell into a rhythm.

Your hands flew to his shoulders for stability while he bounced you on his cock. “So deep.” A raspiness left your throat as skin clapped against skin and Tyriq let out a guttural groan right against your neck.

“I love this dick.” Your nails were digging into his shoulders as this point but if anything, it turned him on.

“Mhm you do, my love?” One of his hands moved from your ass to grip your jaw, forcing direct eye contact. You nodded the best you could but he wasn’t taking that for an answer.

“Speak up.” He planted his feet on the bed and slammed up into you. “You love this dick?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed with a moan, back arching and toes curling. It was like the sound of your wet pussy plopping on him got louder the more he spoke to you.

“That’s my good girl. Keep riding me just like that.” He looked you up and down like you were a 5 course meal. He stopped your hips for a split second just to pull your dress over your head.

“Needed to see this body. So pretty, so mine.” A gasp left your mouth when he wrapped his lips around your nipple while he pinched and pulled at your other one.

While he was sucking on your boobs, he continued his thrust up into you. He was holding you so lovingly while fucking you like he hated you.

The pleasure was getting to be too much. You were reaching your climax sooner than expected which is exactly what Tyriq wanted.

He felt the way you tightened around him, and the way your moans got pitchier. He pulled off your nipple, leaving it covered in saliva.

“Need you to cum for me.” His voice came out a bit shaky, as if he was on the verge of release with you. His thumb trailed down your stomach until it reached your twitching neglected clit.

He almost immediately got to work and started rubbing it in rough circles. “I love you so much.” You whimpered and grabbed his face and leaned forward to kiss him.

Your tongues and teeth clashed together messily. His thrusts never faltered or slowed. He was gonna bring you to that orgasm no matter what.

You pulled back with a string of saliva disconnecting from your lips as well. “I’m about to cum,” you threw your head back towards the ceiling and started to bounce yourself.

“You so pretty when you’re right on the edge. Look at me.” He tapped your cheek. You looked back down at him and how intense his gaze was.

“I’m gonna cum for you baby.” Your lips quivered as you pulsed around him, signaling how close you were. “I’m right there with you, honey. Let it all out for me.”

After a few more rough thrusts, a rush of pleasure ran up your spine. Your eyes fluttered shut and nails dug into the back of his neck as you came.

At the same time, Tyriq buried himself inside you, spilling loads deep while holding your hips down against him.

After about a minute of panting and heavy breathing, Tyriq slid out of you and pulled you against his chest, tucking your head under his chin.

A light sheen of sweat coated his body and you could feel his heart beating right where yours was. He kissed the top of your head.

"Do you two know each other?" One of the girls, Bella, you learned her name was, asks, her head swiveling between the two of you.

You nod, clearing your throat, "he's best friends with my ex."

"Was," Jaehyun quickly corrects, cheeks rosy, "we're not friends anymore."

One of the guys, Sam, speaks up, "whoa, what happened there?"

"Jaehyun was the one that told me I got cheated on," you reply, hoping it comes off as nonchalant and not hurt. Lord knows your ex has done enough damage to your self-esteem, you don't need his mess to affect you in the villa too.

Murmurs erupt around the group, a mix of surprise and consolation. You shrug it off, answering questions that the islanders toss your way. You go through the usual spiel of your age, job, where you're from, last relationship, and length of said relationship.

"Wait, what's your type?" One of the guys, Leo, asks.

You hum thoughtfully, "I don't really have a type physically. I think I prefer a guy who is silly and makes me laugh, kind, good values, loyal, a gentleman, and respectful. In any sort of connection I just prefer to build a friendship before focusing on the romantic aspect."

Another guy, Ben, smacks Jaehyun on the back with a smirk, "you have an in, dude!"

You're quick to dispute any romantic interest in Jaehyun before the girls pull you for a chat. The girls break down the current couples of the house but reassure you that no one is closed off quite yet. Everyone is still feeling each other out and obviously the partnerships were based on initial physical attraction, though some girls seem more eager to close things off than others.

You all chat for a while, giving each other your worst date stories before you hear a throat clear behind you. "I was sent to call you over for your boys chat," Jaehyun states awkwardly as he tucks his hands into his pockets.

You laugh softly, taking his extended hand as you step down from the platform and bid the girls goodbye. "Funny seeing you here," you tease with a gentle nudge of your elbow.

"Of all the places on earth," Jaehyun chuckles in agreement.

The conversation with the guys goes almost identically to you conversation with the girls, but it's so obvious that some of the guys are laying the flirtation on thick. One day in the villa and they're already thirsting for the next piece of meat on legs. You wonder if they're actually here to find love or have fun. Despite that, you accept all their compliments, absorb all the information they're giving you, and even let Tony give you a tour of the villa.

Tony is nice, handsome and definitely confident. He walks you through the villa, showing you through each area. "And here we have the bedroom," he tells you with a dramatic wave of his hand, "this is mine and Mei's bed, but it can be you and I's if you play your cards right."

Somewhere on the tour of the second floor, one of the couples, Sam and Luna, join you before you all end up on the last stop, the kitchen. You're not sure how much time has passed, but you're both exhausted and happy to snack on chips while you make conversation with everyone around you.

When bedtime is finally called, you're grateful to be in a fresh room, clean faced, and in a soft bed. You settle beneath the covers and sigh happily. The first day is done, you survived and everyone seems nice. The apprehension you felt just a few hours ago is long gone, and you're relieved to have been welcomed warmly.

Over the course of the next couple days, you make your way around the villa, getting a feel of every guy, well, almost every guy. You're polite with Jaehyun but also hyper aware of how odd the situation is. You never felt romantic feelings for him when you hung out before coming on the show, so why would those feelings be there now? He was handsome, sure, that was undeniable, but why put forth effort for something you already know isn't there?

You've spent most of your few days in the villa getting to know the rest of the guys, feeling out potential vibes and connections. No one has fully blown you away, but you know you're looking to build a solid foundation of friendship before diving headfirst into romance.

Tony almost immediately took himself out of the running with his joke on night one and the fact that he is hardly subtle about keeping his gaze on your face and not your chest when he pulls you for conversations. The other girls have shared their same experiences, so it's pretty clear Tony is just there for a summer of exploring rather than actual love. He also seems incapable of talking about anything but his gym routine, his meal prepping, and his muscles. Conversations with him never seem short enough.

Thankfully, the other conversations go semi-better. Sam manages to sneak Luna into every conversation you two have which makes you melt. In the course of the week, you find yourself even giving him advice on how to woo Luna, you already love them together so you won't be stepping on any toes there. Ben is also nice, he's funny, but tells you after just a couple conversations that he's not feeling any romantic chemistry with you. You can't fault him for his feelings and you appreciate his honesty. All signs lead you back to Leo.

Leo has been nice. You both have a decent amount in common and he's very keen to get to know you, constantly pulling you for chats that always end with you clutching your stomach with laughter. As fun as the conversation are though, nothing clicks right away. There have been no sparks, but you force that self-sabotaging voice to shut up. Your journey will have to take some time, especially since you want to build a friendship first. You just have to take it all day by day.

At the end of the first week, in the middle of your conversation with Leo, your phone dings loudly. "I got a text!" You shout, jumping to stand up on the couch, "Islanders, tonight there will a recoupling, boy's choice. As bombshell, I will get the opportunity to have first pick of the boys."

The boys cheer excitedly and the girls eye each other nervously. You dance excitedly on the bench, stopping only when you hear a snort of laughter from the kitchen. You stop, a playful glare focused on Jaehyun, "I get first choice, Jae. If I were you, I'd be flirting my ass off instead of laughing at someone else's happiness."

"I'm not laughing at your happiness," he rolls his eyes playfully, "I'm laughing at those horrible dance moves."

Your jaw drops in mock offense as he shuffles away to a lounger to chat with his partner, Maya. You bid Leo goodbye as you seek out his current partner Jade to let her know where your head is at. You don't want it to be a shock to her and you certainly don't want to let your decision ruin the friendships you're already forming.

"You have nothing to worry about," Jade reassures you with a tight embrace, "I know you're not in the best spot, coming in as a bombshell and having to steal a guy. I really appreciate you letting me know though."

You let out a long exhale, slumping back against the swing seat while wiping fake sweat from your brow, "you're the best. Seriously."

Just a few hours later, when the sun has set and the cool sea breeze has begun to blow, Ariana, the host, struts toward the fire pit where you're all waiting anxiously. She smiles at you all making small talk about your experiences so far before she instructs the rest of the girls to stand in front of the fire pit and calls your name, "as the bombshell, the first choice of the first recoupling is yours. Who would you like to couple up with?"

You exhale softly, wringing your hands together as you stare ahead nervously over the flames of the fire, "I want to couple up with this person, because he's been super nice and we have good conversations. It's early days, but I think we're on the right track to building what could be a great relationship."

"So the guy I would like to couple up with is…" you pause, "Leo."

Leo beams as the islanders around you clap and cheer. He keeps an arm around you as the rest of the villa goes through the recoupling. You're hardly able to focus as your heart returns to it's normal heart rate after the anxiety of making a speech and choosing your first partner.

"Jade, as the only girl not in a couple, you are now single and vulnerable," Ariana recites, making your stomach lurch with guilt, "but you're journey isn't over yet. Get your flirt on, make some connections, and I'll see you all soon."

The tension lifts at Ariana's words immediately. You give a casual pat to Leo's thigh before crossing the deck to hug Jade and apologize once more for leaving her single. She waves you off, jokingly telling you that now she has the upper hand to get first dibs on the next bombshell to enter.

The next day, you find yourself refilling your water bottle when someone clears their throat harshly behind you. You jump at the startling sound and turn to find Jaehyun standing there with an amused smirk, "can I pull you?"

You nod, taking a sip of water before following him up the stairs to a sunken daybed that's been named with neon lights, 'Soul Ties', "don't make a habit of scaring me as your greeting."

He holds out a hand to help you down the steps before you settle into the pillows with a hum, ignoring the unexpected spark of warmth at his touch. Jaehyun extends his arms on the edge of the bed, stretching his legs out before he turns his gaze to you, "so I noticed you've been avoiding me."

You cough, cheeks hot at his bluntness, "I would hardly call it avoiding. I'm being polite, getting to know everyone, taking advantage of getting to know new people and all that."

"You've had a conversation with every guy but me since you got here. Hell, you're even talking to Tony more than me and I know he doesn't make eye contact. Yeah, you have been polite, but you've been super…" he trails off.

"Charming, beautiful, and amazing?" You offer with a smile.

"Awkward." He corrects with a straight face, "Look, I know the last time we saw each other wasn't the best time, but we were friends. We can still be friendly here. I don't want you to feel awkward around me or feel like you have to avoid me because I was the cause of your last relationship ending."

"No way!" You quickly interrupt, reaching out to place a comforting hand over his own, "my last relationship ended because of his shitty actions. You were the messenger of the unfortunate news but I don't fault you for anything. You were incredibly brave and kind to tell me that. I'm really sorry I've been weird around you. I don't want to ruin your experience here or make you feel like you can't talk to me either. You're right, we can be friends again. It's actually really nice to have someone from home here."

"It is nice," he agrees with a soft smile before letting out an exhale of relief, "How's your mom?"

Your brows furrow in confusion as you reel back, "you remember my mom? When did you guys even meet?"

"One time I had to drop you off at home when you got too drunk. You told me your parents' place was closer so I took you there. Nice lady," he explains simply. From there, it's easy to get lost in conversation. You both reminisce on your time before the villa before any drama even went down for hours, hardly even noticing the sun slowly sinking on the horizon.

In the midst of your laughter, a pair of slapping sandals draws your attention toward Maya, Jaehyun's partner who stands with her arms crossed and a smile that looks sweet at first, but the longer you look up at her, the more irritation you see. "You guys have been up here all day! I almost forgot you recoupled with Leo last night," she laughs brittly.

Jaehyun clears his throat as he stands, holding his hand out to help you up, but Maya's gaze burns, so you instead get up by yourself. "We were just catching up, we're old friends, remember?" he attempts to ease the tension.

"Right, friends. Glad to see two friends getting close. Let's go, Jae," Maya instructs, wrapping a hand around his wrist to drag him off before you can even get another word in.

The tension Maya brought with her makes your hair raise and want to get away as soon as possible. Still, you can vaguely make out Jaehyun's voice telling her, "I'd actually prefer if you called me Jaehyun."

You amble down the stairs with your brows pinched, walking across the lawn toward Jade who sits on a lounger beside Leo on pool deck. Leo perks up, patting the spot at the end of his chair for you to take a seat, "hey there!"

"What's with that look?" Jade snorts.

Your gaze is drawn back up to the second floor, where Jaehyun and Maya sit outside the beauty room in a conversation of their own. "I just had the strangest interaction with Maya, like she was mad I was talking to Jaehyun, who I've already said is just a friend, or something," you mumble as you set your water bottle down.

"Oh shit!" Leo laughs as he sits up, "I thought you were avoiding him because the girls had already given you the full rundown. Maya is… she's intense."

"Intense how?" You ask slowly.

"She waltzed in on night one and refused to actually take part in the ice breaker challenge until she had conversations 'of substance' with each of us guys because she's not looking for a summer fling—" Leo explains before Jade cuts him off.

"She's here looking for a husband," Jade chuckles as she twists her hair up and clips it back, "she deemed Jaehyun the most husband-like of all the guys and has her claws sunk in him. It's only a week in so obviously he's still taking it slow. I think her before bed conversation is how many kids she wants."

"Sheesh," you wince, "she does sound intense."

Leo runs his hands through his hair with an amused smile, "beside that, you had a good conversation though?"

"Yeah, no more weird vibes," you confirm before playfully narrowing your gaze between your two fellow islanders and a lazy point between them, "reigniting sparks here?"

"We were actually planning a threesome between the three of us," Jade quickly responds.

You tense, blinking blanky at her. Leo reaches over to smack her arm as he begins to cackle, Jade joins and you slump down in relief, joining in on the laughter. You wipe tears away from the corners of your eyes, "I think the two of you are going to be a problem for me."

Jade shrugs with a bright smile, "you'll learn to love it."

That night, after avoiding Maya and her harsh glare, you jump onto your bed and pull the covers over your legs. Leo is on the far side of the room practicing some kind of handshake with Ben. Jaehyun flops onto his back on the bed beside your own, his microphone discarded on the bedside table between your beds. Being in the bed beside Jaehyun and Maya never felt weird before, but now it does. You're overtly conscious of your actions as you keep your gaze low and pull off your microphone, winding the cord neatly.

"Hey," you hear Jaehyun say.

You peek over at him from the corner of your eye, feeling your cheeks heat at the sight of him. His hair is messy and damp from his shower and chest bare and tanned from a week in the sun. He looks unbelievably comfortable in his pajama pants but also unbelievably handsome with his glasses on. You don't trust your voice and instead arch your brow at him in response.

"Do you still like vanilla lattes?" He asks as he turns on his side to face you.

"Yes…"

"Awesome, I'll whip one up for you in the morning."

You don't even get the chance to dissuade him when the rest of the girls come pouring into the room. You instead lay down, turning to face Jade now in her own bed on the opposite side to make conversation before Leo comes to bed.

You're nearly asleep, Leo is knocked out beside you as you turn away from your partner to find a more comfortable position, when you hear a soft whisper of your name. You open your eyes, gaze unfocused for a second before you see the soft wave of Jaehyun's hand, "good night."

You pull the covers higher to conceal your smile before whispering, "good night, Jae."

Trekking quietly down the stairs, Ledger took in the space— a large, furnished room with a couch, television, book shelf, and coffee table.

He walked some more. A dining room with a table and chairs. He walked more until he turned a corner— a large kitchen, an island in the middle and a patio.

That’s where Ledger found you. Kneeled on lush grass and before two large, mounds of both dirt and concrete.

It was when Ledger softly cracked the sliding door open where he heard soft sniffles. You hadn’t heard him yet or seen him for that matter, too fixated on the scene before you.

“I miss you, Mommy” you whimpered, thick tears rolling down your cheeks, “wish you were still here to see the things I got up to but I know you’re still watching it.. not everything good but it isn’t anything I regret.. that’s one thing you always taught me.. live my life with no regrets..”

You wiped at your face and fixed your position, moving to sit fully on the grass. Ledger stayed standing behind you, observing.

“Only thing I regret is you being in the house, it wasn’t meant for you, Ma”

You turned your head and looked at the next makeshift burial site, your father’s. You felt nothing, only shaking your head.

“But I fixed up the house real nice.. brought a great guy home too. His name is Ledger, I’ve been telling you about him and I really love him, Ma… way better than Scotty.. I think you would’ve liked him”

Ledger’s heart sped up at the mention of his name.

“You think so?” He mumbled, finally speaking. You didn’t need to turn around to acknowledge the man, you also didn’t want him to see you crying.

You nodded surely, “yeah. She told me I’d always find my Prince Charming one day.. for a while I thought it was Scotty, what a joke”

Ledger planted himself beside you on the grass, observing the makeshift graves.

“This Mom and Dad?”

“It didn’t feel right to me keeping their urns physically in the house so I made my own cemetery for them… mostly for my mom, I miss her the most”

“Dad?”

You shrugged, “I knew my mom well enough to know that even in death she’d want me to respect him.. I still don’t but when the funeral home gave me both of their ashes, I knew Mom would want to be buried next to him”

Ledger nodded and spoke up after a beat, “I take it you didn’t have the best relationship with him”

You scoffed out a laugh, “to say the least. He never put his hands on me but his words were enough.. I was his only child, his only girl, he didn’t care though. I remember he told me being sentimental to kids blurred lines and if it happened then they would grow up not respecting him. Can you count how many times he said ‘I love you’?”

When Ledger stayed silent, you laughed again.

“What happened that night, Chiara?”

You already knew what he was asking. Anybody did.

“It’d just been building up for a long time. He didn’t like the way I was living my life in the Wyoming house so I moved out, they moved up here to get away from me.. or at least he did, mom followed. The talk of wills wasn’t random but he made sure to lay down the law”

Tears blurred your vision, your anxiety had you plucking at the grass.

“I didn’t have anything as their only child— nothing! He didn’t want me to have anything once they died. The fire really was an accident, I didn’t start it but I guess I could’ve stopped it. I would’ve had I known Mom was in there, she wasn’t supposed to be”

The tears coated your cheeks with ease, your face falling into your hands. Body shaking softly with sobs.

“I hate him, Ledger. Even in death, I still hate him. He’s never loved me, he never seen me, he was just here. He’s the reason I loved Scotty so hard, he’s the reason I can’t control myself when I’m in love.. I just always think someone’s gonna leave me..”

When your body leaned over and rested against Ledger’s shoulder, a part of him froze a little. He wanted to comfort you like usual, instead, he leaned his head atop of yours.

Despite the circumstance, he felt the ice on his heart slowly begin to warm. One slate at a time. He took in your words.

“Me too” He murmured, “that’s uh.. what’s why I did what I did.. why I killed Kenna..”

Saying it aloud settled deep in his chest but oddly felt relieving.

“She wasn’t cheating on me, I just thought she was getting tired of me. Sometimes I get so angry, I can’t think.. like someone else takes over me and when I come to, it’s chaos and the deed is done. When I came to that night, her body was in my arms and in my truck”

A lump in Ledger’s throat formed, his own emotion slowly taking over.

“I so badly wanted to fix things but I was already in my head and ruining everything. I loved her and wanted her to myself. The thought of her leaving me… I just couldn’t bear it.. couldn’t live without it”

You nodded against his shoulder. After a moment, you opened your mouth.

“Would you kill me, Ledger?”

Despite his ill feelings that transpired 72 hours ago, Ledger shook his head immediately.

“No” he swallowed, “would you kill me?”

You also shook your head, “never.. wouldn’t dream of it” you took in a breath, “I know you said you don’t trust me anymore but.. will you ever?”

“Will I ever, what?”

“Trust me again? Love me again?”

This breath for Ledger Ward was much deeper. He felt you shift your head on his shoulder and glance up at him, teary doe eyes waiting for something.

“I don’t know, Chiara”

Your frown was soft, the need for him to elaborate was on your tongue.

But the stomach acid was there faster.

You hauled on your feet in the grass, rushing to the other side of the expansive garden, all contents of any and everything spilling past your lips and onto the ground. This was heavier, so much more.

Your stomach coiled and tightened, forcing your stomach to complete emptiness. Maybe it was the fact that this was happening and the emotional turmoil you were drowning in.

The next round of vomit came with sobs. Sobs that wracked your body and forced you to your knees.

“You okay, Chi?” Ledger asked worriedly, his big hand was warm on your back, “can I get you anything?”

And just like the flip of a switch, you shrugged Ledger’s hand off of you.

“I don’t want anything”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m fine” your tone sharp and mean.

Ledger suddenly frowned, “I’m just trying to help—“

Your body heaved, heart rate steadily returning to normal. “Just don’t, I don’t need help”

“I don’t understand why you’re suddenly so angry, let me help you, Chiara, Jesus Christ, you just threw up”

“You don’t love me, Ledger, so why would you want to help me? I can take care of myself. It’s always been that way, way before you came into the picture. I was fine before you and I’ll be fine afterwards”

Call it self sabotaging or just a bout of temporary emotion. Ledger wasn’t sure. You also weren’t telling the full truth.

“Why do you do that?” He frowned, “why do you dismiss me as I’m trying to show effort? I’m trying to be here for you as much as I can and here you are pushing me away”

Your heaving relaxed but your body was still on ten, still internally contemplating if you needed to vomit again.

“Isn’t that what you want, anyway? You don’t love me anymore! I basically brought you here for nothing. I thought that maybe if it’s just you and I that you could see why getting you back was worth it. But you don’t care, Ledger, you just don’t—“

“Don’t speak for me—“

“It doesn’t matter! Here I am trying to make this shit work and you aren’t being receptive. You have no reason not to trust me when we’ve done the same thing to get to this point— we’ve ruined lives, we’ve killed people, you don’t get to act above it”

The tears appeared again, hesitating none to slip out. You were fucking frustrated.

“I mean, fuck, Ledger” you sobbed, “I came back for you and you don’t even care. I loved you so much to overlook your past and here you are judging me for mine—“

“Chiara, I’m not judging you—“

“But you are and it fucking sucks. I love you, I crave you, I need you— we need you and you don’t want anything to do with me. So don’t help me when you know deep down you really don’t want to”

We?

You stood up and stormed off before Ledger Ward could say anything else. He could take the yelling, the screaming, the shouting, the untrue sentiments as much as the next man.

‘We need you’

Your words rang in his head even once the sun began setting for the day. Clockwork. He didn’t leave his guest room unless he had to use the restroom.

He lied in bed, the tv playing something useless but entertaining for the time being. The soft sound of the hardwood outside of his door had Ledger turning his head towards it.

His eyes just barely noticed something being set down and feet scurrying away. He waited a moment before cracking the door open and glancing at his feet.

A proper plate and a water bottle sat on a tray. Cooked, pink salmon paired with rice and colorful vegetables. A napkin under the plate and silverware beside it.

Ledger grabbed the items and closed his door. The food was hot and fresh, the line of steam emitting from its entirety. His stomach churned in both hunger and worry.

Did you poison this? Were you that mad at him from earlier that he was finally set to meet his demise? In the easiest ways possible?

You said you wouldn’t kill him, right?

The first bite was cautious— the man waited for something to happen to his limbs, something to happen to his brain, or to recognize an ill taste to the cooked fish.

Nothing.

He didn’t realize how hungry he was until the porcelain bottom of the plate became his vision. Cleared, completely. But just as he was about to set the tray aside, Ledger noticed something else tucked under it.

It wasn’t the napkin. It was a small rectangular piece of printer paper, folded in half. When he pulled it open, his eyes met black marker ink.

‘I love you’

Maybe love wasn’t enough.

The next morning, Ledger Ward had to ask himself such a thing. Opening his eyes, he took in the soft sunlight. His covers on him, tv off, and… you perched in a chair at the foot of his bed.

He frowned softly, going to wipe at his eyes but only one hand allowed him to do so.

“What the fuck?” He mumbled groggily, blinking out the sleep. His right wrist yanked and collided with the wood of the headboard. Handcuffed, restricted. “Chiara—“

“Before you say anything, please know that I’m doing this for your sake and mine, okay? You’ll hate it now but I know you’ll grow to appreciate it later”

Ledger was confused, his yanked and tugged some more at his bound wrist. It wasn’t budging.

But it wasn’t just his wrist. The cold metal feeling burned his arm indeed but slivered at his ankle that lied on the bed. Clamped and hooked.

“What the fuck are you doing? Let me go, now!”

You leaned forward, “I can’t do that. You’ll leave me if I do. I’d rather you hate me and stay than run away, okay? Last night I realized I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve been so stressed and.. sick.. I just— I’m sorry I yelled and snapped on you, baby, I really am. But I’d rather that than nothing at all, okay?”

Ledger tugged more on the handcuff, frustration brewing more in his body. You couldn’t care for it at all, Ledger didn’t understand the reason now but he would later.

“I want my fairytale ending and the minute we met, I realized how much I deserved it. I love you and you love me, what’s the problem?”

Tears watered in Ledger’s eyes as he stared at you, weakly, he relaxed against the headboard.

“Why are you doing this, Chiara? Why? Why can’t you admit that this isn’t going to work between us? We’re too fucked up, we’re too toxic. I don’t want to hurt you and I know you don’t want to hurt me, just stop all of this, please”

He looked at you pleadingly, tearfully and longingly, hoping to change your mind.

“Why don’t you want to see this through with me? I’ve proven more than enough that I’ll stand by you, Ledger” you rose in your seat and approached him, looming over him, “you murdered your ex girlfriend? I’m here. You broke into my house and fucking trashed it? I’m here, still. Why can’t you just be happy with me? Or try?”

Emotional anger burned your body hot, tears of your own pooling in your eyes. Ledger’s seemingly double standard was pissing you off.

“You say you aren’t judging me, but every time you try to put my past on a pedestal, it feels like you’re putting me down. As if you haven’t done this shit too”

Tears rolled down the both of your cheeks, you and Ledger’s. One’s more angrier than the others. You crept closer, leaning more into his personal space.

“You don’t get to to rewrite history, you just need to accept it. Think about it, how many other women on this planet will accept you like I do? Who can say that the things we’ve done have been in the name of love?”

Ledger only stared at you, listening and making the unconscious choice to digest everything you were saying.

‘You don’t get to rewrite history, you just need to accept it’

“We’re perfect for each other, baby, and you will stay here like this until you get it right—“

You gave Ledger another once over, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead, and moving towards the door.

“Chiara—“

“I won’t starve you, you’ll eat every day. I’ll bathe you my goddamn self if need be but this is how it has to be. If you need me, shout. But if you’ll excuse me, I need to tend to the garden.. think about something else”

Ledger tried to move and move after you, tried to yank on his chains but the restraints stopped him quick.

“Chiara! Chiara, come back here! Chiara!”

You pushed back your sniffles and tears and walked past the threshold. Turning on your heels, you pulled the door closed and locked it.

He’d have to learn, one way or another.

The next time Ledger saw you, you came in cradling a container. The fresh smell of cookies gave away what lied on the paper towels.

It had been almost three weeks later. You made due on your promise to keep him fed, even the moments of staying outside of the bathroom to supervise his showers.

It was a different kind of torture. But time alone was either a good thing or a bad thing.

Ledger shifted, craning his head to watch in the direction of you. You donned a nervous, cautious smile. He took in your appearance— dark coils in a bun in the middle of your head that suggested your hard work in the kitchen, a black long sleeve shirt and matching black leggings.

You were annoyingly beautiful, Ledger Ward could never deny such a fact.

“Hi” you muttered and set the container down on the nightstand, “I um, got bored and started baking, I wanted to see if you wanted some”

Ledger’s smile was weak. Seeing you in such a domestic manner was doing something to him.

“Maybe, as long as you didn’t poison it this time. What kind of cookies did you make?” His lighthearted tone had your smile growing.

You swatted at his arm.

“Shut up, Ledger, your food never is” you giggle, “I made chocolate chip and snickerdoodles. Which one do you want?”

Ledger pondered, trying to shift more in his limited place.

“Actually, is it okay if we eat afterwards?”

You raised your brows in surprise, “we? L-like you wanna try these together? With me?”

His greenish hazels poured into yours, “if you want to.. I just really need to shower and get cleaned up, Chi. I smell and I hate it. You can stay in the bathroom with me, I promise I won’t do anything reckless”

He saw a flash of hesitation in your beautiful browns but Ledger made quick on trying to change that.

“Please, baby” he begged, “you have my word”

You didn’t see his free hand behind his back, fingers crossed in faux truthfulness. He was good, really good.

So much that you nodded. Nodded and stood up, fishing for the keys to the cuffs in your pants and began hooking Ledger loose.

When he stood, he towered over you. You’d honestly forgotten Ledger was so tall.

“Thank you”

“Of course”

The trance of his eyes kept you frozen for a moment. A heated charge crept into the both of your energies, you gulped.

“You ready?” Still staring up at him.

“Yeah” still staring down at you.

What could’ve been so good was so easily ruined when you looked away from Ledger.

From the reflection of the full body mirror in his room, you saw something tucked in the waistband of his pants behind his back.

Was that your pocket knife?

“Ledge—“

The man was on you faster than you could blink.

With a forearm pressed against your collarbones, Ledger rushed you back into a wall, hard, taking all of the breath from you. He snatched the knife from his back and placed it over your throat.

“Ledger, no! Please, I’m pregnant!”

Silence descended over the room heavily. Tears sprung in your eyes, confusion danced in Ledger’s.

“I’m p-pregnant” you whispered. “I swear on my life”

“You’re fucking lying” he breathed out angrily. You merely shook your head, shakily reaching up to grab his empty hand.

You guided the limb under your loose shirt and pressed it on your stomach.. your lower stomach. It wasn’t rocket science to the man. He didn’t need to see to know there was a noticeable, firm swell under his palm.

“I found out on the way here. You were asleep but before you woke up, I stopped at a drug store, bought tests, and took them there”

“Tests?”

You nodded, “three, all of them said yes”

Ledger’s serious expression started to crumble, his hand still on your stomach. He tucked the knife back in his pants.

“How far along are you?”

“I haven’t seen a doctor yet but I can only assume by the look of my belly, maybe 13 weeks.. I felt something was off with me but my periods have always been inconsistent since my miscarriage so I didn’t notice anything by the second week without it… But it was the other symptoms”

“That’s why you threw up like that in the garden”

Your eyes watered and slid down your cheeks, “I didn’t want you to see me like that, I didn’t want you to find out like this.. but I understand”

You suddenly began to sob. Call it true emotions.. or using the last card in your deck.

“There’s still time, if you want me to get rid of it, I can” your body shook gently against the man, “I j-just don’t want to k-keep making you miserable, Ledger. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

Finally but surprisingly, the man brought you into his hold. God it felt so good. His arm slung around your waist, his other hand holding the back of your head.

Ledger Ward really couldn’t formulate a thought. He didn’t have to question the legitimacy or if that was his baby.

All it felt like he could do was hold you, truly this time.

“If you want to go back home, I’ll take you” you muttered against his chest, “I’ll stay here a-and just figure it out, you don’t have to—“

“Shh, stop. Stop talking like that” Ledger gently cut through your words.

“No, I’m serious. You don’t have to be here, you don’t have to do any of this with me if you don’t want to. I’ll take you back to your house, the bar, Cole, the job, Roman, whatever you want. Nobody will know about me or this baby—“

Ledger Ward heard enough.

Taking you by your face and forcing you to look at him, the man closed the gap. It oddly felt forbidden. His lips captured yours in a soft heated manner, hoping to diminish any doubtful thoughts you had.

It worked.

Your arms slid around his waist, your body melted and submitted. Lips moving and smacking softly in a rhythm so perfect, it was easy to relax into Ledger.

“Don’t talk like that”

kiss.

“You understand?”

kiss.

“You’ve made so many decisions lately, let me make this one”

kiss.

“I want to be here for you and for my child, you hear me?”

kiss.

“No more thinking for me, no more thinking on your own, you understand?”

You nodded surely, softly biting down on your bottom lip. Ledger’s tone became much more assertive, finally putting his foot down.

A very familiar white heat danced up your spine with the more you clung to the man, with the more you stared up at him, with the more you fucking submitted to him and his words.

Maybe it was your hormones already going out of whack or the effect that Ledger Ward always seemed to have on you.

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours.

“I never thought about leaving you, Chi, I just needed time to adjust to everything. I’ve always loved you.. I never stopped.. despite the stupid shit I said before”

You stood taller, brushing your lips against his. “Really?”

Ledger nodded, “we’ll work it out but I’m not leaving, not for anything. I wanna be here for you and our baby, even if it means starting over, that’s fine— but it’s you that I want, Chiara”

Once again, Ledger closed the gap and pressed a peck to your lips. One led to another, another led to a third.

“Say it again” you murmured, Ledger already knew what you were asking.

“I want you, Chiara”

“Again”

“I want you” Firmer, more certain.

“Show me… please” your needy, shaky hands crept under Ledger’s shirt until you settled on his back. You dug your nails into his back and dragged down, eliciting a deep groan from him. “Please baby”

Ledger licked his lips and dipped down to your ear, his breath warm along the shell. “You missed me?”

Your moan was soft, just barely audible. You tried to control it but truthfully, your hormones were raging off the charts. You hadn’t had Ledger this close in a while.

“So fucking much” you sounded so pathetic. Your hands slid to the front expanse of his body, trekking teasingly lower.. and slower.

“I know… me too..”

That’s probably how you found yourself stripped naked in the guest bed while Ledger stayed fully clothed.

He hovered over your needy body, head dipped down, breath cascading over the very set of breasts starting to grow swollen.

Upon your back arching for something, Ledger’s warm tongue latched onto your nipple. Taking you out of your horny misery. You hissed out, a hand reaching out to the back of his head.

“Gentle baby, please.. ‘m sensitive”

You were growing wetter by the milliseconds and your love was just getting started.

Ledger groaned. His other hand cupped the other breast, a thumb ran over your nipple. “Daddy’s sorry.. just got such pretty fuckin’ titties, mama mhm..”

His tongue swirled and suckled as gentle as possible, mouth switching to the other, losing himself.

“Oh.. baby, please.. ‘want more” you whined out, pushing more of your chest into his mouth.

More being Ledger sliding to the edge of the bed and latching onto your thighs, his mouth found your soaking pussy like a magnet.

Hands in his hair, back arching into the sheets, your needy moans bouncing off the corners of the room.

“Yes yes yes… just like that.. please..”

Ledger responded with a groan into your core. His lips circled and sucked at your clit, his tongue flattened against your flesh and lapped up your arousal.

God, it felt—

“So fucking good, baby!”

“Yeah?” Ledger just briefly pulled back.

“Fuck yes!”

“Right there?”

“Yes!”

“Good fuckin’ girl.. doin’ so good, now stop runnin’ from me”

You took his mouth like a fucking champ, even when you tried to pull your hips back from his torture. Once swift tug on your thighs and you were right back on it, right back to it.

Tears welled in your eyes as the pleasure became overwhelming, your first release was on the brink.

When it showed its face, you came with a squeak of Ledger’s name. Your chest heaved, your legs shook, and the tears pushed themselves down your cheeks.

Still the torture continued. Ledger didn’t come up for air or give you any recovery time. His tongue had positioned itself at your aching entrance, ready for more of your taste.

Just the sweetness on his tongue sent the man into overdrive. No air, no breaks. The thirsty man dove back in.

He coaxed out another orgasm and it didn’t take long. Your cries were higher pitched and full of need, even more rolls of tears occupying the skin of your cheeks.

Your mind was on another dimension, you hardly registered Ledger standing at the foot of the bed and stripping himself just as naked as you.

When he climbed back over you, his lips immediately found yours. Your legs splayed as wide as you could, feet planted firmly on the bed.

“I need you” you whimpered, circling your arms around Ledger’s neck. He pecked at your lips, biting his bottom lip once he pulled back.

“Yeah? ‘Gon put it in then.. show me how much you need me”

Peering into his eyes, you dropped a dollop of spit into your palm and reached down until you found his thick cock. With your moist hand, you tugged and twisted at Ledger’s enormous base.

His eyes rolled softly, breath faltering just a little. “So fuckin’ needy, ain’tchu?”

“Yeah”

“Mhm.. but that’s my fault.. ‘m sorry, daddy’s real sorry.. been depriving this pussy for too long, huh?”

You dragged the head of him to your wetness, just teasing you and him by caressing it against and within your folds.

“For too long, daddy.. felt so empty without you”

With him at your entrance, you guided himself inside of you. His hips took care of the rest, fully sheathing himself deep inside of you. You both shared moans at the feeling.

You were so wet and warm, tight as you gripped him perfectly and hugged his cock like the best thing in the world. It took everything for the man not to cum quick.

“I missed you so much, baby” Ledger grunted as he began thrusting, hips pulling back and snapping forward. “Feels so good..”

Arms around his neck, legs around his waist, your mouth brushed against his.

“I missed you too.. please don’t ever let me go this long without you inside’a me.. I’ll always need you, baby”

Ledger nodded with a lustful yet determined look on his face, his hips still powering and fucking you.

“I fuckin’ promise” he growled, “‘swear it won’t be far out, I’ll fuck you every day if you want.. ‘jus say the word, daddy’ll take real good care’a you..”

His words paired with his salacious actions had your body thrumming in all the right places. You clung tighter to the man— your man.

“But it says I’m doing somethin’ right with the way I fuck you.. the way we make love” Ledger muttered cockily, glancing down at you.

His hand on your tummy, answering the follow up question you had.

“I got my best girl all knocked up, pregnant with my kid.. just shows you’re all mine and you’ll always be mine, sweetheart”

“All yours?” You teased.

“All fuckin’ mine” he glowered, leaning down and kissing you heatedly, “you want your fairytale ending? I’ll make it happen, I promise you. ‘M gonna marry you and keep you so full of me, you’re gonna beg me to stop—“

Your back arched, a desperate moan creeping past your lips. Your release approaching stead fast.

“Fuck!” You cried out.

“Yeah? You like that, mama? Lovin’ you and stayin’ in this pussy all the time?”

Your nod was vigorous as your watery eyes peered deeply into Ledger’s. Your lips donned the cutest gap, a furrow to your brows. Your love face.

“I love you” you murmured.

“I love you more, baby” he leaned down and kissed you, “so fucking much, I won’t ever walk away from you”

“‘m gonna cum” you whispered hurriedly, you were just tipping on the edge of mind blowing pleasure.

“Let go for me, sweetheart.. take everything you need from me..”

You didn’t have to be told twice. The coil in your gut snapped, your walls clamped around Ledger hard. Your greedy canal soaked the man beyond belief and still he fucked you through it.

“Oh fuck” Ledger growled, “fuck fuck fuck, Chiara—“

Ledger’s orgasm was shortly followed— his release coming in warm and thick spurts inside of you, filling you like a pent up man. You held his shaking body in your arms, waiting for his come down.

The evening sky turned a dark shade of night, the stars just barely showing their faces, the moon lit up and proud.

Ledger Ward stayed hovering over you, leaned down and kissing you like his life depended on it.

Soft, romantic, sweet, and loving. The duvet of his bed now draping over his shoulders as he devoured you whole.

You were comfortable underneath him, your legs still wrapped around his waist. Your arms rested around his neck as you played in his hair.

When he pulled back, you finally saw the man you fell madly in love with. The first go around and the ones after that.

His eyes were softer, his body language much more relaxed, and he looked as if there wasn’t any place he’d rather be.

“I love you, Ledger”

That earned you a peck.

“I love you more, my sweet girl” he gave you another peck before sliding down, his face near your stomach. “And I love you too, my other sweet girl!”

You giggled as you felt him press his face against your stomach and his arms slither around your waist.

“Girl?” You asked, still threading your hands through his sandy brown hair.

“Just a hunch” Ledger responded back, “or at least, I hope so. I’d love for us to experience a baby girl.. i know you’d love it too”

It was a painful thought but maybe you losing your first daughter was a sign that Scotty wasn’t meant to be your forever. Or at least someone to do this kind of life with.

With Ledger, it sounded like a dream come true.

“I hope so too” you said after a beat, a genuine smile pulling at your lips. “So that means we gotta start thinking of names starting tomorrow”

Ledger kissed your stomach once more. “Let’s get you to a doctor before we do all that.. gotta make sure our bean is healthy enough”

Ledger crept and laid next to you, he supported himself on his arm beside your head. Neither of you said anything for a moment, simply taking in the moment and each other.

It was Ledger that took up your hand and threaded it with his, his lips met the front of your skin.

“I meant what I said about doing life with you. Despite our circumstances, I think we were meant to be in each other’s lives. Maybe in ways we never thought but all roads have always led to us— me to you”

He kissed your hand once again.

“I was stubborn with trying to think I wasn’t who I was or that my past wasn’t my past. I think I was trying to run from that part of me instead of owning it.. especially having someone like you that still accepted me despite it all”

Another kiss to your hand.

“I’m sorry, Chi. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. Please know that it feels fucking amazing to be picked by you and loved by you. I’ll spend every day making it up to you if you’ll let me”

Instead of him kissing you once again, it was your turn. You leaned up and found his soft lips.

“I’d love that.. I love you, Ledger Ward”

“I love you so much more, Chiara Batiste”

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Would y’all even want an epilogue? 🧍🏽‍♀️Lmk 😭