*my life is pretty boring, but...

Even if they didnt do nything wrong and theyre a baby or old

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

be honest am i going to scale well late game?

Changing the relationship status to "Stalemate"

Changing the relationship status to "Uneasy truce"

Changing the relationship status to "Mutually assured destruction"

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

34 cents

fuck off i know what i have