Harlot Of Sentimentality

(Edit: You can find me on Insta now too! I’m lunie.emoonie)

Hello to all the wonderful goblins of Tumblr, the digital land of hyper-fixations and cults (fandoms).

I’m lunar-muse but you can call me Lunie. My pronouns are she/her.

Like your esteemed selves I’m yet another goblin hunched over my phone lost in the archives of Tumblr and I like yapping about things I love but have no one to bore with in my dry, boring reality.

I suspect this blog will soon be full of mini fanfics or just me blabbering about Kaeya* or which other fandom or media catches my interest.

*A note: I’m not currently that involved in Genshin, my knowledge is mostly localised with Kaeya and any lore surrounding him. I don’t mind spoilers.

If you have anything to share about Kaeya, a request for a fic or an interest of your own, please don’t feel shy (although I hope you won’t mind if I take some time to respond) to drop an ask. I don’t think I’ll be entertaining any extremely explicit NSFW asks about the characters, but I don’t mind writing something slightly suggestive.

With that being said, I hope I can entertain all of you with my yapping and thank you for checking out my blog!

Masterlist:

Matters Most Unpleasant

Description: (Name) comes home from a night of revelry to find their mother brutally murdered.

Kaeya, the one competent investigative unit aside from the Acting Grandmaster, is on the case.

But what happens when there is more to the matter than what meets the eye?

Contents: Slow burn, graphic violence, allusions or use of substances.

I : The Murder and The Captain

II: Rumpelstiltskin and The True Enemy

Linguistic Capabilities

Description: A Kaeya-centric standalone fic (and the first fic I've ever posted!)

Contents: Torture, hinted drugging, minor swearing (like, one f - bomb)

Kaeya Relationship Headcanons

Description: A list of headcanons of Kaeya in a platonic/romantic relationship.

Kaeya Headcanons

Description: A list of headcanons of Kaeya as a person.

Kaeya and Diluc Headcanons

Description: A look into the (platonic!) relationship between Kaeya and Diluc

Ubi amo, ibi patria

Description: Headcanons of Kaeya in a romantic relationship

The Sun In His Smile

Description: What makes Kaeya happy in a relationship?

Midsummer Night's Dream (in development)

Description: A fan - made visual novel with Kaeya. Help him face his demons!

Update 1: https://www.tumblr.com/lunar-muse/798501297246601216/game-update-i?source=share

Update 2: https://www.tumblr.com/lunar-muse/800324059983429632/game-update-ii?source=share

Update 3: https://www.tumblr.com/lunar-muse/803553312997818368/game-update?source=share

Devlogs:

#1 : https://www.tumblr.com/lunar-muse/805904029706289152/devlog-1?source=share

#2

Le Bel Homme Sans Merci

Description: Mondstadt has fallen. This is not the Teyvat you know. Will the Fae you free prove your salvation? Or your damnation?

(Yandere!Kaeya x reader)

I. The Knight and the Faery

Helloo @fidokekwo and thanks for the ask! I am resting yes, thank you for asking (^w^)

Alright, so for your scenario, let’s lay down a few of Kaeya’s major responses to vulnerability:

1) Deflection: Very obvious, but if the conversation demands his vulnerability, especially if it’s in response to a direct, probing question, he’ll change the subject or give you a detached answer.

2) Embarrassment (BSoD): Remember that one moment with Adelinde? Yes, that. It made me think that Kaeya is genuinely speechless, maybe even uncomfortable, if he knows the care he receives is completely selfless, or that he’s been seen through despite all bravado. He’s surprisingly docile in this instant, maybe because the reminder of “you matter to me as a person, not entertainment” leaves him dumbfounded, maybe because he’s so unused to accepting attention or affection without expectation.

3) Writing: Most of Kaeya’s vulnerability is actually written, rather than said. Take for example his letters to Diluc in Hidden Strife. Early-game Ragbros interactions were almost always snide or backhanded. In contrast, though there is some teasing in the letters, they are noticeably a lot more serious and he explicitly asks Diluc to take care of himself.

Another example is his latest birthday letter, where he confesses his worry for the Traveller and talks about sharing the wine he’s preparing once they return to Mondstadt.

Would Kaeya still say these things face to face? Yes, but the rawness of his sentiments will mostly be shielded by playfulness or snark (to deal with the incomprehensible sinking doom that accompanies being seen, perhaps?).

The Realisation

I do agree with you on his panic, especially about it being subtle.

The realisation that his feelings for Reader run deeper than they appear is not a pleasant one. To be very honest, he probably realises this when his attention naturally gravitates to them. Kaeya’s interest and affection is very “I don’t know how to be vulnerable so I’m going to observe you and catalogue your person in my head so I can be perfect for you” coded. The mask is hard to pry off when you’ve worn it for most of your life (this is exactly one of the major reasons why he struggles with vulnerability).

He may try to distance himself after the reveal. Or at least space out around Reader often. He’s used to complexities of strings attached to near everything, so something as simple as wanting to be near someone is weighed heavily in his mind. The implications, the repercussions, the aftermath… he’s a thinking man, for better or worse.

To be very honest with you, I think Reader will have to push him to start anything romantic. Kaeya will pretend he’s happy with just their friendship (he genuinely appreciates it definitely) and that all his yearning will pass (he literally freezes when their hand brushes against his, then carries on like he didn’t just imagine what a long embrace would feel like). This mostly stems from my headcanon that young Kaeya (roughly around eighteen or nineteen, barely an adult yet already Captain) sought connection from plenty emotionally unavailable people after moving out of the Ragnvindr household and he’s terrified prudent about it now (that’s how I interpret his “Let’s not make this a transaction relationship” line anyway, though it could of course strictly apply to a professional relationship).

I do also think some of the apprehension can come from past failed relationships. Kaeya’s interest can fizzle out with monotony or routine, and the end result isn’t pretty. The problem is, he’s quick to get attached but being attached to someone and being compatible with them isn’t the same, which sets the cycle of self-loathing in motion again. That being said, he still cares about his partner even after the end of the relationship, and it is possible to stay friends after. Kind of. But they can always depend on him in a moment of need.

The Gamble

Trust is like Russian (or Snezhnayan) Roulette. Especially for Kaeya, who’s been abandoned multiple times in his life. But how much he reveals to Reader also depends on the question. Direct confrontations about his past will be cooly deflected, just as he’s practiced multiple times. But if he’s in a sentimental mood, he’ll share some harmless excerpts of his childhood with you. That’s when you know Kaeya considers you trustworthy, because these memories are extremely dear to him.

(Mini rant: you can put me in the chair if you don’t like it, but that reveal where he casually said he’s from Khaenriah? The one with Dainsleif? That had to be a ploy to get Dainsleif’s attention because I refuse to believe the man who said “Khaenriah, huh? You sure know a lot … they’re not worth mentioning” would sit there in PUBLIC and casually admit “Oh yeah, I have ties to a nation that fell ages ago and its inhabitants turned into monsters we slaughter for mora and exp 😇” like Hoyoverse TELL ME why you thought that was the best way to explore Kaeya’s near-direct relationship to the Abyss Order — especially since it DIRECTLY contradicts the “Kaeya will never discuss his past” thing you already established in his lore like COME ON, IS IT THAT HARD TO REFERENCE YOUR NOTES??? like I understand it’s subjective but we barely spent any vulnerable moments with him)

Naturally, it’ll be a long time before he actually trusts Reader with his past and trauma. Actually, I don’t think he’ll ever discuss his trauma directly, unless you ask the right questions.

‘… and that’s how Diluc got his penchant for black.’

‘But you were hurt.’

‘That’s sweet of you (Name), but we all have our troubles.’

‘Kaeya, you were hurt too. Badly hurt.’

‘…’

‘…’

‘I was badly hurt.’

Once Kaeya trusts you, he’s a surprisingly simple man. He’s still dramatic and teasing, but his jokes and words are a lot simpler compared to the practiced eloquence of his persona.

His coping mechanisms for the discomfort of vulnerability is mostly humour. Anything that will make the moment feel lighter than it is. I won’t say it’s wine because that’s more of a personal coping mechanism than one designed to evade emotional intimacy with someone. And since he’s hinted to be “less smooth” when he’s drunk (as Rosaria mentioned), I don’t think he’d want that either.

His thought process seems complicated, but at its core it’s “when will we hurt each other?” Kaeya knows it hurts when Reader realises they barely know him beyond his performance. Reader can hurt him through rejection. He’s expecting pain before he even initiates anything, which is why he’s more comfortable reaching out than pulling back before the warmth starts to burn. Ironically, most of his isolation is self-imposed.

Was doodling in college because I wasn’t having a great time, wonder what’ll become of her when I pick up the microns (it’s been a long time)

*(be they perceptive, affectionate, intelligent, adventurous, bit of a firebrand, and/or cunning yet deeply authentic with those they love.)

I do see him getting along well with the perceptive, intelligent and firebrand parts. Interestingly, this sweetheart is quite similar to him except they’re more open with their sensitivity than he is.

Kaeya is a sensitive man too. There’s sensitivity in the way memories shift with time, sensitivity in the precise inflections of tone that twist implications, sensitivity in observation and perception of what a person says without words. It’s says to think this sensitivity to mood and emotion only applies to his work, but since we’ve seen the parts of him that don’t shy from sentimentality (keeping old keepsakes, brewing wine for the Traveller’s return— interestingly I’ve noticed he’s more comfortable with writing emotionally open thoughts than actually speaking them aloud) so it’s not like he won’t understand this sweetheart’s sensitivity.

He’ll find it endearing definitely, but he’ll also worry. The world isn’t kind, especially to those who feel deeply. He knows that better than most. So if the time comes when expectations come tumbling down and emotions bleed into one muddy puddle of apathy — he’ll be there. He has this funny talent of shrinking troubles, even when you’re both aware enough to know you can’t run from them forever.

That doesn’t mean they’re exempt from his teasing, especially if they put in the effort not to show their sensitivity.

He’ll waggle his brows at the slightest slip, lean on their shoulder and confess he’d already suspected this “secret soft side” ages ago. In truth, he probably had.

But it’s not like they won’t fluster him either. It’s not often you find someone who pays attention to you. Someone who doesn’t decide your character through their lens alone. If the sweetheart is sensitive to Kaeya’s expressions, the way he speaks where the truth lies in implication more than at face value, it is possible to get to know Kaeya. To understand that though wine is nice, it’s the company that makes it all the more sweeter.

If Kaeya is faced with the sweetheart’s sensitivity to his cues, the things he says through lingering stares, tapping fingers and airy, practiced laughs… they’ll see him smile. Not sly or mischievous, the boyish one that dimples in one corner, lopsided and imperfect and true.

He won’t blush though. Or at least he insists he isn’t. It’s just the wine.

He’d definitely appreciate it, as long as making new memories doesn’t mean them getting nosy about his past more than he’s willing to divulge. Even if the intent isn’t malicious, he wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

Otherwise I see him being quite enthusiastic as well! If his lover is interested, I see him sharing activities of the past with them— like going on outings to the beach and collecting seashells together. Plus, I think I’ve mentioned he has a fair bit of wanderlust so there’s definitely room for making new, happier memories.

Kaeya x Reader Oneshot (suggestive)

CW: suggestive, power dynamics, smut but not smut, fwb dynamics, do you love him or does he love you or are you both emotionally constipated morons? Who knows, praise, Kaeya being a menace, all parties are adults here and everything here is consensual, MDNI please and thank you, sub(?)Reader