you shine like the stars, you light up my heart

Vox doesn’t take failure well (or being seen as one).

He’s spent his entire life working his way up, eliminating people who made him feel inferior and taking what was theirs. That part was easy because he didn’t care about them (and you know, because he is a murderer)

With Alastor, it was different.

Vox did have feelings for him (admiration, a crush, whatever) and for once he wasn’t trying to replace someone. He wanted to build something with him.

So when Alastor became the one who made him feel inferior, it hurt more than anything else ever had.

Because in Vox’s mind, it’s not fair.

He should be better than that. He is better than that.

So why can’t Alastor see it?

It hurts. And it makes him bitter.

When Alastor isn’t in the picture, Vox can push those insecurities away and focus on loving and caring for the Vees — not just Valentino — in his own way. Even then, he doesn’t fully accept how much he cares, because accepting it would mean giving them the power to hurt him.

He isn’t Valentino’s boyfriend.

Velvette is just his associate.

He’s the CEO of VoxTech entertainment.

He keeps himself “above” them so they can’t hurt him — because closeness equals vulnerability/weakness in his mind.

(And of course, we know he fails at fully keeping that distance.)

But when Alastor is in the picture?

Vox becomes obsessed with proving — to himself and to Alastor — that he’s better, that he’s over him, that he doesn’t need anyone. And in doing so, he completely misses that:

His charisma and the bond he formed with the Vees are strengths in themselves.

Strengths Alastor doesn’t have.

He won’t realize that until he stops measuring himself through other people’s eyes — especially Alastor’s.

Because Vox does care about Valentino (and Velvette).

He brought Valentino into his world. He indulges his whims. He stands by him. Their partnership is real.

That’s why it hurt Valentino so much when Vox’s attention shifted. When Vox wasn’t standing beside him anymore. It wasn’t what he was used to. It wasn’t what he had come to love.

Valentino thought he was losing him.

And when it came down to it, Valentino chose Vox anyway (even if he teared his head out of his body) because he still loves him, even if he’s angry.

Vox does love and want Valentino.

But accepting that would mean accepting vulnerability.

It would mean needing another person.

And Vox can’t allow himself to fail like that again.