You’re right, I did everything wrong, I’m sorry
Your apology isn't going to sweep your behavior under the rug and make it go away. You attempted to accuse me of framing you as a "mastermind manipulator" like you accused that anon you assumed to know. I would have left well enough alone and never gotten involved; But you tried to cause drama with someone from my server in a channel on the Unofficial DST server and aren't admitting to what you did wrong by excusing it and making a hollow apology post about "seeking help" for "all the harm" you caused without addressing it.
Since you want to hide why you were banned from my server, I'll put it out in the open:
1) You intentionally hid the only valid reason for being banned from the first server because, in your words, you "didn't think it mattered" when you came into my server to vent about it. You knew it mattered, but didn't want to share it so you could get sympathy for it.
2) You repeatedly vent outside the venting channels we had set up; doing it in multiple channels and not attempting to stop after being given your first strike/warning in my server unless me or one of my mods got on you about it.
3) You broke rules specific to the vent channels by threatening suicide two different times; the first of which was during a fit of anger that no one was trying to come comfort you like you wanted them to. It's specifically stated in the rules for the Venting Category that mentioning self-harm or suicide is not allowed; we also include links to resources in the rules channel to help with that because none of us or our users are equipped to help with those topics and they could cause harm to others.
4) You brought drama into our server due to the first ban where you NAME DROPPED several people you claimed were responsible for the accusations towards you for the ban from the first server; some of which were innocent people, one of them being a member of my server. They were afraid someone was impersonating them and had made accusations against you using their name.
5) You LIED to my mods about "not knowing" that you weren't supposed to vent outside the venting channels after I gave you your first warning/strike. They knew I talked to you about it and were aware that you acknowledged you were in the wrong and were sorry for doing so. At the time, we believed you).
6) Prior to a user coming forward with your apology post admitting you were also banned for venting in the first server, you would comment on linked art people would share to lament whether someone was involved in the drama who had blocked you and lamenting it. You also repeatedly continued to bring up the ban you received, prompting us to need to make two new rules regarding bringing drama into the server and getting our users involved and not name dropping or doing call-outs.
When telling you about your ban, you proceeded to beg me not to do it because my server was "all you had", and try to avoid accountability for your behavior. You blamed anything you could, ranging from me and my mods not reminding you enough to you "not knowing any better"/"misunderstanding" what was and wasn't a vent when you started ranting about the first server's ban AGAIN prior to my decision to ban you. You also attempted to guilt me into changing my mind by saying, "I just want you to know that this will deeply hurt me."
I readily admit I was not as good a server owner as I should have been before you were banned; I let your behavior slide for a while because you were young and seemed like you weren't meaning to do it. I assumed you had read our rules. I am responsible for my server, and your behavior made people uncomfortable and got some of my users dragged into drama unnecessarily. I should have caught it from the beginning and done my job as a server owner; but I didn't at the time. I am now trying to better moderate and run my server by adjusting rules and being more active in keeping an eye on my server and the well being of my users, because my server is supposed to be a safe space to make friends and share your work without drama or toxicity.
I'm taking accountability for my mistakes, Wulf; but your apology is insincere and empty. Admitting to what you did wrong and stating how you plan to fix it is how you start the process of trying to improve. Don't lie about it to others, act like it's "hate" when you're called on it, or mock people who bring your actions to light; I think them using anon was a smart move, given how you behaved.