𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖊

That post panic attack clarity

I want off this ride so bad I’ll jump

Had a panic attack and someone called an ambulance and now I just want to crawl in a whole and die

I’ve been on a hiatus but I know I’ll always end up back here feeling blue.

I belong nowhere and have nothing but my regrets to keep me company

I’ve wanted to die for so long and yet somehow I’m 30

not only did it cost me then but it costs me now, even in this room filled with the trinkets of someone who loves me.

I have nowhere to put all of this anger except back into myself

I didn’t know yet how wanting to die could be a bloodsong in your body that lives with you your whole life.” Lidia Yuknavitch

I like burning bridges even though I can’t swim

Trauma hasn’t made me strong I am just broken and scared

I wish I wasn’t so good at wrecking the people who love me.

My self esteem has never been lower