What a year this week has been.
Itās Monday.
It sure as hell is.
The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets
what about sunday evening hmm
I'd rather be in outer space šø
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear

ā
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@lukesucksballss
What a year this week has been.
Itās Monday.
It sure as hell is.
The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets
what about sunday evening hmm

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Happiness Will Come To You.
when tho
When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March
reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!
To moi
be kinder to your past selves
there might be no permanent state of the self but those bitches were still you! show them some kindness, they were trying and living how they thought they should even if you wouldn't want to go back to them

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āyou all are great people, and what youāre doing is art, but itās also a crime punishable by 28 days in prisonā is a real sentence that got said to me tonight by a security officer i think iām living my best life
this is what was happening if anyone was wonderingĀ
When I was little, my mom told me that throwing your chewing gum out the car window was the good and moral thing to do because it patched up people's flat tires for them, and to this day, I think it's one of the funniest lies anyone's ever told a child for no reason.
i'm memorising these so i can change some children's lives later
Destiny is a bitc- I mean beast
Sometime just hearing someone actually cares goes a long way ā¤ļø

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What is happening on twitter? š
ā ļø Spiderman: No Way Homeās plot be like:
this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didnāt notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time
a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said
āok so i know you ran a red light and thatās really bad and you should never do it again but iām not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing iāve ever seen and my partner canāt get out of the car cause heās laughing so hard heās about to pee himselfā
i forgot that iād had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched āscreeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhā
and thatās how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light
Hey students, hereās a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while youāre seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up withĀ ādear hello, I am sick and not sure if Iāll be alive to come tomorrow and Iām sorry, best slutantions, [name]ā.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, Iād probably believe they were sick.
āSlutantionsā has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
āI amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blueā
the subject line was āOWā
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN āOWā
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class Iād passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line āyou good?ā
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so thereās about a month and a half block of time where Iām taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldnāt come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like āNot sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.ā I didnāt think until the next day that it probably wasnāt socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you werenāt coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that sheād printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
Itās even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz
Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)
@clockworkrobotic
āFriend? Friend push ball? I push ball. I do good.ā
Bees. Ā Smart enough to push a ball, not smart enough to not be fooled by a stick masquerading as a bee.Ā
maybe they know and theyāre just being polite
Other dimensional beings are undoubtedly amazed at what human beings will accept as human beings too. āBut itās just a stick with a person on it.ā
#excuse me neil but what the FUCK was thatĀ #thanks for that terrifying thoughtĀ (nooby-banana)
NEIL WHY. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.
This turns up on my dashboard. And I read it and am impressed that someone writes exactly the post that Iād write, without actually reading the name of the person who posted it.
And then Iām puzzled at all the Neil Whyās, and realise that this was me in the Wayback Long-ago.
At least Iām consistent.
And, I should point out, we are no closer to being able to spot the extra-dimensional stick āpeopleā who move unobserved among us.
Itās reassuring how tumblr-like this entire interaction is. Including not reading the url

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