the funniest creature to ever exist for real for real for real

this is an example of a symbiotic relationship

haters see me and say christ what is that

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

just molted for the first time ama

U feelin' mushy? Easily susceptible to predation..?

ok no more questions

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

Everyone was just shot and killed by machine guns #DeltaruneSpoilers

This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

the way homestuck did its clouds...