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@luckyheromongerrascal
REBLOG IF YOU DONâT MIND WRITERS TAKING TIME OFF FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH

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the story of muggles and mayhem (1st edition)
My new headcanon is that wizards play âMuggles and Mayhemâ instead of Dungeons and Dragons. A conversation with the amazing @torestoreamendsâ ensued and this was born đ @lytefootâ if you donât have additions to this, Iâm a woolly bladder.
So! Hear me outâŚ
Christmas, 2001, The Burrow.
Angelinaâs Muggle cousin Sean comes along for dinner - heâs visiting from out of town. Heâs a bit boring, to be honest, but George is making an effort. Sean gets very excited when George mentions dragons - and he starts talking about his current DnD campaign.
After some initial confusion about Seanâs status as a druid, George, despite being five firewhiskies to the wind, realises the potential here.
He beckons Hermione and Angelina over to hear his idea. Hermione and Angelina roll their eyes but start to give him some cracking ideas of Muggle scenarios. George scribbles them down on parchment, his mind whirring.
Unfortunately, George wakes up the next day having completely forgotten about it but has a sudden rush of memory watching Ron and Bill play chess
He drags his notes over to the chess board, and the three of them start to strategise and planâŚ
They get a focus group together: Arthur, Hermione, Kingsley (he needs down time from the Ministry), Sean and Percy.Â
To absolutely nobodyâs surprise, Arthur Weasley is the most enthusiastic early adopter. He particularly enjoys the dice.
[Heâs going to play a middle class ACCOUNTANT His skills are TEA MAKING and COMMUTING His pastime is STAMP COLLECTING His weaknesses are GLUTEN INTOLERANCE and SEASONAL ALLERGIES Roll a D12 to obtain Benadryl]
Kingsley sees it as a potential learning tool so they get Minerva McGonagall involved who is fiercely competitive, and Harry Potter himself is dragged out from the Auror Department despite having sworn never to play anything competitive with Hermione again.
(This is due to a bad Scrabble match in Grimmauld Place, on which neither will elaborate, but Harry still jumps when Hermione is carrying a dictionary near him or when he hears the word âplunderâ or âtriple word scoreâ - Ron will only shudder and say âno way mateâ when asked about this event.)
By Easter thereâs a prototype. They run it past Mr and Mrs Granger who have some lovely suggestions of further mundane muggle mishaps.
The first edition is launched just in time for the summer holidays, with a couple of teaser boxes having mysteriously appeared in the Hogwarts common rooms.
By September itâs all the rage. WWW even get some endorsement from Martin Miggs who becomes a playable character.
Arthur Weasley is the longest running Mayhem Master in Britain.Â
(Minerva McGonagall tries, she really tries, harder than sheâs willing to admit, but Arthurâs Supermarket Run and the Paperwork Saga are legendary - the Filing Income Tax campaign is the hardest by far)
Arthurâs very favourite thing is still the dice
You can play as aâŚ
Dentist Travel Agent Pilot Doctor Traffic warden Lawyer TV presenter Electrician Drill salesman Insurance broker
and hundreds of other Muggle careers!
You can choose a pastimeâŚ
Stamp collecting Golf Football Gardening Trainspotting Bird watching Stargazing Photography Gaming
and many more inexplicable Muggle interests!
You can purchase your starter kit from Weasleyâs Wizard Wheezes, Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade and Owl Post for only 10 Sickles and 2 Knuts. Muggle dice included.
Oh my gosh.
At level 12, Insurance Brokers get a special Muggle divination method called Statistics. On a roll of a natural 20, they can claim to have exactly predicted the most recent event.
Lawyers get a +2 to save vs. Traffic Violations.
Pilots can fly. (âThey need an aeroplane for that, George,â Hermione explains patiently. âSure, okay, but how hard can it be to get one of those?â George counters. âI mean, theyâd only not have one if the Muggle Master intentionally took it away, and thatâs just no fun.â Sean, from under the table where heâs fallen, laughing, agrees: âYeah, Hermione, requiring a focus to use class features is so third edition.â)
Only Electricians can use Electricity.
Dentists have a wild assortment of abilities affecting teeth. Luna writes The Rotfang Conspiracy as a module.
The most questionable of the Career/Occupations is the Insurance Agent. They are a counterbalance to Lawyers in respect that Lawyers are Lawful Neutral much of the time.Â
Now it might seem like the most boring of them all (even more than Mayhem Master Arthurâs Accountant roles) but Insurance Agent? Who needs that rubbish when you have St. Mungoâs right? And itâs not like anyone drives anywhere âcept the few Wizards and Wix who are pretty mental (while Everyone and Luna is giving Hermione an utter stink-eye over some incident of mayhem involving a Mini in wrong way turn in Belgravia that somehow involved Metro PD and an embarassing call to Kingsley to sort the matter out (that no one will tell Sean anything about it!) (nodding to Northumbrian for that bit of their nicheverse)
Well, the Insurance Agent is a Chaotic Neutral character (like Druids are True Neutral) who has so many ways to convince you that you just need this tidbit of insurance on your life and activities. While they can work for a corporation thereâs plenty who are independent agents. Those are the ones you have to watch out for the most, for they have more points in Charisma and intelligence - and lacking in wisdom. *wink*Â
Going on Holiday to Australia for a month? You need insurance in case you missed your connecting flight in Rome and you are stranded there with no way to get back to London, not on your paperwork.Â
What about the fact that you donât actually own your flat in Whitehall and a fire breaks out while youâre at work in Islington and by the time youâre notified, all of your possessions are cinders (and there is no way this side of magic that can fix the situation.)? Renters insurance.
Congratulations! You find out your spouse is pregnant with your first and you work as a pilot. What happens on the rare occasion that an airplane doesnât stay up in the air and leaving your spouse home to raise a child on her minuscule income? Life Insurance (and a Level 7 Insurance Agent has a roll for charisma / roll for initiative on whether you purchase full or term life insurance.)
Owner of a building housing various businesses and thereâs some social upheaval going on and youâre a notorious landlord and the crowds are chanting at your door, âEat the Rich / Down with Landlords!â and someone has a wand in the crowd and about to blast your building and everything in it to rubble? If they do you are bankrupt and lost absolutely everything - including the shirt off their back - and youâre probably going to throw yourself off the top of the London Eye? Insurance. A Level 10 Insurance Agent will roll for Initiative to âhelp you bundle your property insurance with your renterâs insurance on your own flat and the property & casualty insurance on your auto to save you 15% annually in premiums.â
You put yourself through Medical school and are a junior doctor and whelp! You have a patient who is suing you because you didnât catch Grammaâs heart condition before she had an MI and karked it in your office. How do you protect your career without going bankrupt? Insurance. (And only level 12 and up Insurance Agents will work with doctors since the terms are so complicated. They have additional points in charisma and dexterity to help the doctor untitle their name to all their assets to lower their premiums.)
Youâve been accepted into the Metro PD program to be a bobby out on foot patrol. Unfortunately your first assigment is in Peckham and youâve heard itâs a rough beat. What do you do if someone decides to put a scotch bottle over your head and youâre off work for six months because of the level 3 concussion from it? Insurance. (This one can be performed by a level 3 agent, who understands the basics and doesnât need much charisma for this part since people come to you for their needs.)
******************************************
All of the above is in honor of my Dad, who for 20 years sold insurance before he stepped on too many toes and got himself seen out of a career. Surprisingly, he was quite good at it, when he wasnât being beastly to those who he reported to.
Now, someone else can add onto it.
I know this is a low blow, but I had to do it (? Hope you like it!!
[A white fortune cookie paper with black text on the front and an icon of a bee. It reads: You will soon gain something you have always desired.]
Liz Gilliesâ audition for Jade in Victorous, 2008

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Can we talk about killian Jones listening to Hamilton
Can someone turn this into a fix for me please
So I think that teddy and Vic kind of were dating when they were your very much puppy love when Rita skeeter wroote the paper she did on them snoggging. I think they broke up after like a year still messed around with each other (friends with benefits) they were actually really good friends that went to each other all the time yes some awkwardness at first obvi. Then during the kings cross scene not totally together they agree to hold off but everything came to one big explosion once sheâs finished at Hogwarts of lifeâs gonna be in our way whether or not weâre at school or a job or whatever else, weâre either together or weâre not and the rest is history
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ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
I noticed there isnât one here for Ireland, so
Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123
last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:
so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.
keep yourselves safe!
Donât do it, itâs not worth the risk nor heartache, I know. Stay alive and even though I donât know you well I love you *virtual hugs to all*
Boost!!!
So the Beautiful Creatures movies was on TV the other day and as I was watching it (for the second time ever since itâs so inaccurate from the book that I never wanted to see it again) I realize how much we were robbed. Like the cast is absolute fucking perfection (some of the costumes and hair should have been different *cough cough Ridley cough cough*). Jeremy Irons as Macon? Sign me the fuck up. The incomparable Emmy Rossum as Ridley? Hell yes. Emma Thompson as Sarafine? Absolutely! Viola Davis as Amma? Perfect fucking casting. Alden and Alice as Ethan and Lena? They look and act the part. The movie could have been so good and if you look at it as a movie on its own, itâs not terrible, but for fans of the books it was a disaster. If they had had the same cast and a more accurate adaptation of the books, it would have been perfect and we probably would have been able to see the other books get adapted too. Not to mention the fact that the Caster Chronicles fandom wouldnât be as tiny as it is now and we would have fanfics and fanart and everything else that other fandoms have. Ugh. It honestly makes me so mad (especially since I just finished re reading the first book and it still holds up for me)
Accident Prone
Based on this text post. Remus played by @asktheboywholivedâ.

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Andromeda : I am marrying the muggle born
Andromeda : my daughter can marry whoever she wants!
*nymph comes home with remus*
Andromeda : Absolutely not ! He's a werewolf
Ted : .....
Salad Bowls
Remus: Iâve learned many things in life but one of the most important things is that when making salad, you must always make it in a larger bowl than you think youâll need. Tonks: âŚit doesnât matter what size bowl I make it in, Remus, itâll always end up on fire⌠somehow. I donât even know how! I put it in a perfectly good pan on sizzle for five minutes! Remus:âŚthatâsâŚyour problemâŚ
You can sum up the entire Harry Potter series by "good idea, awful execution"
I love innocent! Hermione/vulgar! Ron!! Imagine Ron cracks a vulgar joke and Hermione doesn't get it and Ron has to explain it to herđâ¤
Harry: On a scale of one to ten, youâre a nine, because Iâm the one you need.
Draco: Iâm a ten.
Harry: No, itâs a pickup lin-
Draco: I. Am. A. Ten.

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Some free advice on #coronavirus
Now that Amelink drama is over, can we please end the Towen drama asap. Teddy loves Owenâshe made that clear. Tom is just one mistake after another. I really canât wait for her centric soon!