my bog house

although most men wont let me peg them, its comforting to know that Cosmo the Fairy from the famous children's comedy franchise, The Fairy Odd Parents© would not hesiate to spread his phat cheeks for my silcone dick

excuse me sir, this is my emotional support cottage

that snail you found in your backyard when you were 7? you know the one you fed grass? ye it was reincarnated as your best friend. your welcome

does living come with complimentary mints or nah?

this app has given me powers that it didnt even know existed.

who is jim and why is he so slim??

i have decided that i no longer want my toes. i will be putting them on sale at the farmer's market this tuesday.

nose milk nose milk nose milk nose milk nose milk nose milk nos

there is milk in my nose. i smell it

i have a recording of you crying labeled "ode to a fool"

who is this uncle sam?? i have no uncles. my parents are only children. so who is this new uncle and why does he demand my money???

this is my swap and your just swimming in it

they want more cornmeal. i do not have enough.

where are the frogs?? i was promised frogs.