Itâs a Small World, After All
Pam, a Local Coordinator for World Learningâs FLEX and YES Programs, was first introduced to the program on accident when she volunteered to be a host family in 2014. She had no idea how hosting a girl from India and a girl from Georgia would change her life.
âHey, Can you think of anyone who might like to host a high school exchange student?â
This was my introduction to the high school foreign exchange student program hosted by the U.S. Department of State. A random email that has changed my life. The message was an appeal to host an exchange student from India. Who would send their high school child to America so far from home? Now as a person with no children of my own and who lives with my mother, I thought I was the least likely candidate for something like taking in a teenager, much less one from a foreign land. After all, didnât this require a ârealâ family with two parents and other children? Intrigued, I read the information about the student. I knew, after reading her letter to her host family, that she would need someone to help her learn about America and make sure she had a positive experience and keep her safe while so far away from home. I could do that, couldnât I? I checked with mom (of course I couldnât just spring the child on her â imagine âSurprise, youâre a grandmom â againâ â No that would not go well). To my surprise, she was amenable to the idea and wanted more information. Â
So I sent in my interest to the contact on the form thinking âOh well, I did my part. They probably wonât even call meâ. Was the ink even dry in cyberspace before I got the call? I donât think so. While I contemplated that, I also thought to myself, âCan I do this? What am I to do with a 15 year old child?â In a panic, I looked at the list of other students who were coming in the program that year. Maybe I could take two. Then they could keep each other company. I had room. Yeah, thatâs a plan. So I contacted the program again. âCan I take two? There is a girl who says sheâs a scout in her country, and as a scout leader this sounded like a good fit. âYesâ, they responded, âas long as they are from different countries and do not have the same primary language, it is fine.â So I got two â India and Georgia (the country, not the state).
Now what have I done? Where will they sleep? What will they eat? What will they need from me? Three squares, a roof and a way to school. I can handle that, sure I can. Set the rules and things will run smoothly, right? Not. To begin with, my Georgian student came in first. I almost lost her on the metro the first day. The Indian child who was supposed to come in two days later- arrived the next day. Didnât lose her, sent her home with my mother. We sat down and went over the house rules. Piece of cake, right? No, my child from India is non-ovo-vegetarian (my description of a vegetarian who also does not eat eggs) How does one make a cake without eggs? No really? I donât cook a lot and mom doesnât bake without egg and itâs the childâs birthday. What to do?
Go to Whole Foods, pay three times what a box of Betty Crocker and a dozen eggs would cost, and then have a birthday celebration for the newly arrived child from India. Success. At least the child from Georgia eats with fewer restrictions, mostly. But food is not the only challenge. How do you explain to a child who is late for everything that we do things differently here? You must be on time for school or they mark you absent and I get an automated call, everyday, saying my child is not in school. How do you explain that you canât just decide not to come straight home without telling someone first? I canât begin to count the number of times I said âI love you but you are not my children and I donât want to have to call your parents and say I lost youâ. Not to mention the expanded grocery bill and the discussions about rule âbendingâ and the homework help, and extracurricular clubs to explain and griping about teachers and teenagers in the house.
On the other hand, how do you explain the love you feel for children not your own but in your heart belong to you? The feeling you get when you see them mature and branch out on their own, when they can get on the Metro and not get lost (or at least find their way back on their own). The achievement you feel when they do more than 100 hours of community service. The closeness you feel when they talk with you about their lives and their goals and how happy they are to have had the opportunity to come to America and learn about how we live, and work, and worship and celebrate. When you learn about cultures not your own and the similarities between what you do in America and how they live in their homeland. When you go to church and your child from India says they sing that song in her school and she is so happy to have heard here something she knows. When the child from Georgia, who always seems so tough and independent, cries because she must go home and she wants to stay.
How do you not cry when they are removed from your care and sent back to their homes, where they belong, but no longer quite fit? How does a parent send their child all the way around the worldâŚhome? Now, just as they Skyped with their parents at home when they were here, they Skype with me while they are there. It is a relationship that will endure for these are my children loaned to me for a little while, but belonging to me for life. Housing exchange students was one of the best ways for me to see the world through different perspectives. Try it.  Itâs a small world, after all.