february 1, 2026
since i’ve been seeing posts about what life was like ten years ago, i thought i’d share mine too.
2016 was heavy. i was 19 and lost, carrying so much love with nowhere for it to land. i learned the hard way that i didn’t have a place in a house that was supposed to feel like home. to them, i was only a nanny to my younger siblings. my own mother called me an ingrate. so i left, after years of feeling trapped within those four walls.
leaving felt like breathing for the first time. the city opened itself to me — art, culture, food, long walks with no one waiting for me at home. this was when i learned how to date again, quietly, in secret. it was also when i had my first (idk) heartbreak. looking back, i think i was in love with the idea of love itself, with the city as the backdrop, not with him.
late 2016 brought me home again. when i landed, so much had changed, yet somehow nothing had. it felt like seeing an old friend after years apart — familiar, a little awkward, still warm.
life here was the opposite of before. i could go anywhere. i could choose who i wanted to become. my lola gave me the freedom to study what my heart leaned toward. i was free, and i held onto that feeling. i started school again, surrounded by classmates younger than me, and for the first time in a long while, everything felt light.
discoholicmusic
jacobvanloon
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