love, stoopkid

What a yeaaar. I know I’m not on here as much but i got up early in the first time in a while, and feel like writing this morning.

This year was rough; a lot of heartbreak, a lot of stress, but also a lot of not living up to my potential in my eyes. I feel like my phone/social media addiction is getting more out of hand than ever before, and it’s really stunting me with already a hard time in focusing and time management. This year i just turned 30 and even though I am not doubting that I’ve accomplished a lot within this decade, i feel like i can do better. I yearn to learn but have this block of anxiety and i feel like it has a lot to do with the convenience all around me.

I have been seeing a lot of media about how the younger generations are ditching their smart phones and or social media all together because they are becoming insanely aware how it doesn’t make them feel good and there’s really no benefit. “The 2030’s will be the new renaissance”, things like that. I am extremely excited about this movement especially with the rise of AI “art” and other slop coming to a rise. I’’m excited but I want to be part of this movement as well.

I want the internet and the connection it rings to be a place to visit and leave like it was back in the day when my only access was the family computer. I’ve looked for dumb phones/limited phones but ultimately i think i just have to delete the apps and really try to keep off.

This wasn’t suppose to be a write up about how I think the internet is giving us worms for brains BUT Ido have a few things on my New Year’s resolution list so far:

1. Shut the fuck up

2. Eat healthier/work out yada yada

3. Seek rejection

Those are just a few. I saw this post about a girl who went out of her way to try and get rejected a thousand times and ended up with accidental success. It’s really just taking fear out of the equation but if i have to frame it that way in my head to be able to just try new things then i will.