The Art Version

THISSSSSSS!!!!!!! curate your own internet experience. block them because they’re allergic to peanut butter, block them because they have what you don’t, block them because they dislike your favorite food, block them because you don’t like their layout, block them because you can.

blocking is NOT a personal attack against someone. it’s you curating your own internet experience and catering for your comfort, and you have every right to do that.

you, yes, you!!! you CANNOT tell other people to censor themselves for your own comfort and personal likings. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t post. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t write. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t draw. BUT you CAN block them for whatever reason.

Like the kind of itinerary that involves six hours of Logan driving them around the city at both rush hours and Wade giving the absolutely shittiest driving instructions because he's distracted buying their damn attraction tickets on his phone since he didn't bother to do it ahead of time.

Logan tries not to lose it while Wade is wandering around in his floral button up and sandals standing in the middle of a fucking bike path, almost getting run over as he tries to point in the direction of where they are supposed to be walking.

Wade can't handle the way that Logan refuses to get out of the bed earlier than eight o'clock because they are losing fucking daylight and they paid so much damn money just for Logan to lay around and sleep.

Not to mention, Wade does not understand Logan's desire for full days of just nothing. Like, there's a fucking giant-ass aquarium a short one hour walk away and Logan would rather swim in the pool and eat his continental breakfast at the speed of fucking molasses?

But there is one thing they can agree on when it comes to vacation.

The sex. Having lots of fucking sex.

Wade loves that Logan will press a kiss to his forehead, or will absently roll the pads of his fingertips down Wade’s spine while they’re standing around at a party or a bar. It’s not instinctive for Logan to hold people close; in another life, he’d kept every person he’d ever loved at an arm’s distance. 

But now the exception was Wade. 

He can press Wade up against a railing and kiss him, can wrap his arms around Wade’s waist and rest his chin in the crook of his neck, sleep in the same bed as him, curled close, Wade’s face shoved into his chest. 

Likewise, Wade can be horny, handsy, and touchy as fuck with Logan. 

Not that Vanessa didn’t like it. It’s just that it makes Logan’s cheeks turn a little red, or makes him let out a little growl and grab at Wade’s hand, pinning it in his own and demanding that he fucking stop touching my ass or I will break your damn hand. 

But Logan won’t break Wade’s hand, actually. More likely, it will be the bed. 

Because Wade’s fondling is nothing if not catnip for Logan. Wade feels Logan get hard when he grabs at his crotch absently, notices the little horny flush on his chest when he tweaks Logan’s nipples during breakfast. 

Notably, he can’t get enough of Logan's ass and the expanse of his thighs. When he's lucky enough to get Logan sitting on the couch in just his boxers Wade throws himself into Logan’s lap, licks at them until Logan wrenches his head back and tells him to stop acting like the damn dog. 

It’s great. Perfect. The perfect mix of horny and sickly-sweet. 

And the second he's checked into his shitty, weirdly damp hotel room, trying to figure out who he needs to fuck up to get Wade back, that's when he gets a text.

From Wade.

It's a picture of Wade in their apartment, fully naked, on top of their bed.

I'm hommeeeee, peanut. better bring me a shitty coffee on your way backkkkkkk

they have a shared sock drawer

logan cannot find any plain colored socks in said sock drawer on a daily basis

both of them do not replace the toilet paper and blame each other for it

logan drives. not to be nice, but rather, out of fear of giving wade control of a moving vehicle

wade cooks. because no one wants unseasoned meat and boiled vegetables for dinner every night (except for logan)

every time he leaves the house logan has to say "i love you" and if wade doesn't say it back, he can't leave. wade loves this game. one time logan pinned him face-down on the floor demanding he "say it, you motherfucker" for the better part of fifteen minutes

logan is not allowed to be on aux. Ever. (self-explanatory)

wade makes logan's coffee in the morning, brings it in the bedroom, and makes a huge show of drinking half of it before handing it over. we'll call it theater

logan hides the remote when wade wants to watch reality tv

no one washes the dishes, let's be real

they share deoderant and sometimes a toothbrush even if it's Nasty. logan is not aware of this fact

wade always wants to hold hands. there is never a circumstance where holding hands doesn't make things a little bit saucier

logan's fear of heights causes wade to pack an entire fanny pack of supplies when they take the jet for missions with the x-men

logan reads in silence while wade does whatever shit he does at louder than full volume. double volume, even

spooning is great. a required part of bedtime. but logan's body temperature makes it feel like wade's sleeping with a malfunctioning pressure cooker. so they eventually drift to their own sides of the bed and like. vaguely hold hands instead.

wade likes showering together. logan doesn't, because he's forced to shiver in the corner while wade hogs all the water.

if game night requires people to team up, wade and logan choose opposite teams. the competitive little shits they are

logan buys groceries because wade doesn't get the right brand or amount or type of anything on the list. and he can't figure out if it's on purpose

One day he twists his ankle walking up the stairs, another day he lets his claws out a little (a nervous habit) and starts gushing blood from his hands.

He gets a nasty concussion, ends up with the flu, gets cankersores and whines about them for days, burns his fingers taking cookies out of the oven and gets horrible blisters. One night he gets a stomach ache and ends up leaned over the toilet for a few hours. Another night he breaks his toe stubbing it against the doorframe in the dark after taking a piss. Hell, he even ends up with a gray hair-- the scandal.

At first, Wade feels vindicated (especially about the canksores, because those little fuckers hurt like a bitch) because Logan was often quick to downplay what it was like to be injured and suffering for more than a few minutes.

But then Wade finds out that Logan is actually a huge fucking baby when it comes to lingering pain. Like a massive, whiny, dramatic little baby.

Wade, it feels like someone's repeatedly stabbing my lip everytime I chew.

Wade, if I open my eyes it's gonna hurt so bad that I'll lose my lunch all over the floor.

Wade, I can't walk to the bathroom to take a piss. It hurts sooooo fucking bad.

wade put a ring on it

or like, he just grabs a handful of giant carrots out of the fridge and gnaws on them while staring out the window. sometimes he splurges and buys himself an entire deli ham to chomp on when wade's out of the apartment and can't ask to share.

Wade is a q-tip connoisseur and loves shoving them in Logan's ears to get the wax out.

Logan does not fuck with getting his hair combed. By wade specifically.

Logan is excellent at lubing (lotioning) Wade up.

Wade does not wash the dishes until they're out of spoons, at which point, he washes a single spoon for himself and leaves the rest for Logan to do.

Wade rubs Logan's feet every. single. night.

Logan makes Wade take daily walks with him to get some fresh air.

Only Logan is allowed to cook chicken after The Incident.

Logan doesn't replace the toilet paper when he uses the last of it.

No one is sleeping over 7 hours a night, let's be honest.

Wade orchestrates a "fight night" once a month so they can stab each other to their little hearts' content. Logan is not aware of this and assumes Wade just has a penchant for getting him extra pissed off every so often.

Logan cries during movies, but contrary to popular belief, Wade does not. Wade cries over his favorite cereal being out of stock.

Wade is the superior kisser. Of not just lips, but other body parts too.

Logan makes a mean smoothie and Wade can poach an egg perfectly every time.

Wade sleeps on the left side of the bed for two reasons. One--because he needs to be closest to the door just in case. Two--because Logan sleeps on his left side which makes spooning optimal.

These fuckers can't leave the house without saying I love you. Not only to each other, but to Al and Mary Puppins too. It's become a thing.

Laura thinks Wade's a good sort-of-step-dad-ish person. He asks good questions and gives good advice.

just how fast the night changes, E, 2/4 chapters posted, 5.9K words so far

Turns out the Worst Wolverine is allergic to something in Wade's universe. He's allergic to Wade.

Wade discovers Logan is reading a smut book. He decides to reenact a scene in real life. This goes about as well as expected.

Logan bringing Wade breakfast in bed and Wade absolutely losing his shit (and probably crying).

Wade and Logan get glued together somehow. That's it.

Logan walks in on Wade having sex with someone else and stares for just a little too long.

Wade makes a Wolverine suit for himself and a Deadpool suit for Logan. It takes some convincing, but Wade gets Logan to try the suit on. Conveniently, the X-Men call them in right at that moment. (Wade set this whole situation up, of course, for his own enjoyment.)

Wade and Logan fuck in a pool. Logan really doesn't want to be in the pool.

Logan has the controller to Wade's vibrating butt plug. Wade thinks someone stole it, but doesn't know it's Logan.