| -lovely, |

has purpled palms

from the weight of her own affections

and fingerlight bruises

angel kisses on her forearm

traces of want

a need love never knew

to be wanted

to be clung to

rather than the one to cling

-lovely,

Changing is growing is discovering

something new

is that scary?

will I do it anyway?

New is different is challenging

the state of things

is that a bad thing?

will you do it with me?

Things are restless; are confusing

propaganda for fact

why else do we educate?

what do we know?

the magic of discovery

revealed in dexterous fingertips

centuries of knowledge

behind paywalls and formatting requirements

Fuck off, dude

and you do not know

who the man is, who is on

who needs

to Fuck

Off

Hello, friend

poking, peering out of

primordial hummus

Knower of nothing, of

darkness, of damp Earth

and suffocating air

Dearest friend, I know

you, in light, in love

with the roots you crawl between,

the ancient world of buried secrets you

explore, digging, blindly

discover divide, split

in the center, spliced

down the middle, again,

again,

again,

your heart

in five

In time- darling creature,

lovely, little

worm, the chances you take

hearts you break-

five times is knowing

mirrored in my own face

hands

behavior

leave bitter distaste

similar shoes smaller steps

incapable of producing pride without power in your pants

I am powerless

I am innocent

love, acceptance, crushes, gossip

but more importantly;

kindness, laughter, and my most gentle nature

when

churchbells will ring

for my soul

to touch heaven

requires attendance

of

weddings

or funerals

-lovely,

friend

to [me]

or

are

you

didn’t

yo

u

ha t e

forgive

I

…

[lost]

-lovely,

Heaven forbid I leave

any sense of permanence

in your world

gather my things quickly

efficient

apologetic if I forget

anything

with wine staining my baseboards

and your fingerprints bruising my forearm

all I want to cling

to your permanence

the stains and scars

the mess we make

I just know my own

tend to be

uncontrollable

out of hand

overwhelming

suffocate my mother

with a life she loves in hindsight

words I no longer believe

words I never believed

I was never taught to

I was never told

I love you

I love you

and I kiss your face

and I’m sorry

I don’t mean to

I love you

forgive me

again

and again

again

until you leave

until I cling

to the permanence you left for me

and wonder if

the memories of my

bruised skin

might

be enough

for you to love me back

-lovely,

-that dream has never been real