Loosingmyself

why is it so hard for me to believe that someone actually cares about me and isn’t always going to replace me at any given moment

“you’re so distant” you literally made me feel like i wasn’t important

I am such a burden to everyone. I’m disgusting and I’m needy and nobody actually likes or cares about me. I’m such a piece of shit.

I've been bottling up feelings and ignoring them. And I am exhausted and I just collapse at night and cry. I really don't know how you quiet borderlines do it every day. Me getting better at internalizing everything and acting strong as I can be is probably going to kill me. But I just want to not burden other people and not look like an attention seeker. I want them to think I'm not dying even though I feel like I am. Really I just want to quietly crawl away somewhere and die.

Feeling unwanted changes you a lot.

trying my hardest to be happy all the fucking time and it always feels like it’s in vain y’all like i need a lobotomy

I want to beat myself to death.

sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal

me every 2-4 days