love love

I want to break things, but I have to much self control. Or maybe I'm scared of what people will think. I just to feel things violently, smash stuff, scream, scream, scream until my thorats sore and raw. I want to break things until my body can't do it anymore . And than maybe I'll feel something that isn't this rage inside me.

having an eating disorder and having common sense at the same time is like knowing that you’re going crazy but can’t do nothing about it…

the same thing with bpd, depression, and anxiety for me. it’s like watching from another room through a window; it separates yourself from your own body and parts of your mind. i can see how it’s getting worse or not improving but im stuck in that room, watching what’ll happen next.