always you

I'll miss him for the rest of my life

Is anyone else constantly going back and forth between disbelief and crippling grief all the while going through life with a constant but sort of quiet sadness in you?

been seeing a lot of “my inner child is grieving this Liam,” implying a version of Liam from 10 years ago, and I just want to be 100% clear that my whole 32 year old adult self is mourning the loss of a 31 year old man. A father, a son, a brother whose light was snuffed out too soon. A man who was meant to have more time, despite his mistakes, because he deserved to. I am grieving him. My whole self is grieving his loss.

I hope Liam gets to go home today. It's been 12 days. He deserves that closure.

as much as i'm hurting with them, i'm hurting for them so much more. if i'm this hurt, i can't even imagine what they all must be feeling