I'm a lot cooler in theory than in practice.

@ominous-signs

Official ominous spider

and why does the robot girl need giant bouncing breasts

caus its dope shit

this is for you melinda 😔 ✊i hope you like it 🥺🎵they ought to teach 🧑‍🏫 this in school 🧐its not ❌ always cool 🥶 to be cool 😎what⁉️ (what❓)they 🫵 try to play 🎲 you for a fool 🥴like 💭 you see a girl whos unique 😲 its a treat 😃 cause shes sweet 🙂and she always seems to knock 💥 you off your feet ☺️you wanna say hey 👋 but you dont 🙁 (you dont 🙍‍♂️)your mom says tell her how you feel 🤒 but you wont 🙅‍♂️cause youre just too cool 🧊 to tell her truly ✅that your feelings are gettin unruly 💢 dont try and school me 🚫so she passes you by 🚶‍♀️ in the hall wayyoure staring at the wall 👁️👁️ tryina play 🤾‍♂️ while i sayyeah youre cool 😏 (what❓ 😨)really cool 🥶 slick just like ice ❄️ (ice❗)but you did nt real ize you never 😔 get this chance twice 2️⃣so youre busy playing cool now shes gone 😢 (shes gone 😩)gone unto a nother 🧍‍♂️ while i sing my funky song 🎶 i never passed up the chance 🤬i know this story 📖 seems long 😴 but when i know 🤔 the time 🕰️ is right for me 🤙 and you 🫵 i justflame on 🔥 flame on 🎆and on 👆 and on 👆 and on 👆 (flame on 🔥 flame on💥) (yeah 👊)flame on 😱 and on 😤 and on 🥵 and on 🥵 and on 🥵flame on 🔥 (i just flame on 😔 👊)🎵keep calm 🧘‍♂️ everyone 🫡don't panic 🗯️FLAME ON 👿w… ww whats happenin 😨we're sinking‼️ 👇into the center 🔥 of the earth 🌎

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

hold on let me try to invent a version of myself who can get us out of this mess [holds really still for a minute and a half and then turns to you with a flat affect] we probably should have killed ourselves an hour ago

show me another funny picture im not driving tonight