Indulge in a little Avarice

Lock sighed softly, head tilting as he set down another mug and picked up the one beside it. The sigh wasn't angry or exasperated.. Okay so it wasn't only exasperated. There was worry there too, and gentle care. Because while it wasn't the same as his one-winged friend, not nearly that powerful, he did know emotions like they were the back of his well manicured hand. And he'd been looking after this little one from the moment Inhyeong had brought him in, pale as a ghost, almost two years ago.

Toned, silver strands lilted to the side along with his head as he looked the younger over.

He sighed, looking down at the cup in his hand as he finally set it down alongside the rest, picking up another if only for an excuse not to have to make eye contact while he very much pretended to have to think about it.

He knew how long it had been. He was blissfully, painfully, fang-achingly aware that he was pushing it this time. He knew he could go two days comfortably and be okay. Sometimes three before he started to get spaced out and find it hard to focus. Day four was pretty much asking for him to lose control, and wasn't that what he feared most? Wasn't that why he'd sought out help in the first place?

"Tian, Honey, Sweetheart..." The pet names fell from glitter-glossed lips in a sigh, leather pants creaking a little as he sat. This look was just concern, all soft eyes and pinched brows.

"I know its.. I can feel fine for a bit. But we both know you have a pretty high tolerance for 'fine but I feel like I'm gonna fall over, wither, or lose control'." He sighed gently, setting down the martini glass and picking up a coup glass instead, all while keeping those eyes.

"You know you're safe here. You know that Inhyeong, P'Sai, and me are all always happy to give you what you need. I've heard that some vampires can build up their bodies to not needing blood as often. But that comes only after they regularly give their body what it needs. If your nervous system is always in fight or flight, it's never gonna settle enough to feel safe to go an extra few days between meals. Trust me, I know"

The Crow's Nest wasn't too busy that morning, but it still bustled with the same life that Tian had grown to love it for. It's cosy, gentle life with people more concerned with taking a moment for themselves or their friends or family than anything else. It was comfortable. It was safe. And Tian had grown rather fond of it's repetitive, predictable nature.

But there were bad days too. They all had them sometimes. For Tian, they often came when he let his hunger stretch just a little too long, or when he did not rest nearly as much as he should. They came around anniversaries, or when he saw someone who looked like him.

That morning had been one of the latter. It had been barely a resemblance, truly, it was nothing but the eye colour, the hair, and day four without feeding all mixed into a perfect storm. He'd jumped, initially. Recoiled, nearly ran for the hills, but he'd caught up with himself, realised it was not him. It couldn't be him. Not after this long. He'd apologised, laughed a quiet laugh and said he'd been off with the fairies, and had taken an order, but it had set him on the wrong foot for the rest of the day.

The mug in his hand had been dry a few minutes ago yet still his hands went through the motions of drying with the cloth. They were in a lull, most customers already served and seated, which gave Tian far too much scope to disappear a little too close to that torn edge that sat unkempt in his mind, oblivious to the world around him. At least until someone was directly in front of him, and he was yanked right back from that cliffs edge and eyes flicked up to see whoever had just been speaking at him, startling slightly, but quickly recovering.

Lock sighed softly, head tilting as he set down another mug and picked up the one beside it. The sigh wasn't angry or exasperated.. Okay so it wasn't only exasperated. There was worry there too, and gentle care. Because while it wasn't the same as his one-winged friend, not nearly that powerful, he did know emotions like they were the back of his well manicured hand. And he'd been looking after this little one from the moment Inhyeong had brought him in, pale as a ghost, almost two years ago.

Toned, silver strands lilted to the side along with his head as he looked the younger over.

But this was so much more than he could've asked. So his heart ached, brows knit, but his heart soared in the same little nod. Without a moment longer to wait, he stepped closer. Both hands went out and gently cupped those dampening cheeks. And first? Foreheads pressed as he so gently, unwaveringly brought their gazes to lock. He didn't have.. words for the gesture or the moment.. Just this. Just locked eyes. Eyes that saw and felt and knew.

And then he pulled Aster closer, pressing Aster's head to rest against the crook of his covered neck. Fingers raked up into hair, another hand wrapping around a slender torso as he held the other.. oh so close, eyes shut.

It was a good job, truly, that Yongsun had come when he had. Aster just... hadn't quite realised that yet. He'd simply been going through motions since Wolf had left. His last little light to cling onto, his last little hope in the world has just... disappeared, and with it, so had Aster in a way.

So was it truly any surprise that he didn't have it left in him to fight now? To put up his walls and reinforce them against this stranger who was offering something like this? Who had him in such a vulnerable state, that might only get more vulnerable as the seconds passed?

It was strange, how Aster might've flirted his way into the shower with the tall, very attractive man if he'd been more himself, but then again... did he even have a self to be more like? All he could do right now was let himself fall into a complete stranger.

A complete stranger who had baked him food, who had brought him clothes, who had offered to help him clean up and get dressed and was now holding him so tenderly, like he might break at any moment and god, Aster wasn't entirely sure he wasn't about to turn into a pile of rubble in front of him.

And now, as he heard and felt Aster surrender... god knows how many years of tears into the quiet safety of the moment, that same thing rang true. Sure, there were things to get to, washing up, clothes, snacks, food, a little tour. But none of that mattered. His only plan was Aster, and making sure he was cared for. Not just now, not just after he got washed up.

Fabric scratched and scrunched softly as he felt Aster clutch desperately back, and Tako slowly let them sink to the floor. It was hard sobbing and standing at the same time. He knew that one well too. So they sat. Tako's legs partially crossed, the slender frame leaned against his neck, sat in his lap. And they just... Remained. Tako sat, fingers carding slowly through short, tangled strands, feeling the knit of his turtleneck grow damp without a care in the word.

And it was the acceptance to look around with him, to take care of himself and wash up. There weren't... Words really, or reasons that all those things felt so huge.. But Tatsu could tell that they were. He felt the weight on effort it took and god it just made him smile more, eyes swirling shades of yellows and golden hues. Ears that'd perked shy high flopped a little with the velocity with which he shook his head.

"I-I'm happy to wait! Please, t-..take your time! A-and about the showerhead-" He looked towards the other's washroom with a nod. "You have to turn both dials a little to get the water going and then pull the plunger looking thing on the faucet up if you want a shower or leave it down if you want it to fill the tub! Theres soap, a sponge and hair things in the shower already for you, and towels and a robe in the cabinet! Thats also where a toothbrush and some toothpaste is"

He paused, head tilting, eyes up and elsewhere as he worked and muttered through the mental checklist of things that would be good to know." Uhm..." He nodded a little, looking back to Aster, "If you just shower, the water'll obviously drain as normal. If you take a bath then when the water's off, you just have to pull the plunger thingy up and it'll drain the tub pretty quick, I...." One more head tilt, lips pushing out in thought before he gave one more nod.

He nodded, a little bewildered at so many steps, but he supposed it made sense. He finished the tart, standing up as he ran it all through in his head once more. Turn both dials a little, then the faucet... Wait, no, the plunger? Right, the plunger.

"Thank you," he murmured, reaching for the bag of clothes that Tako has brought in. It wasn't like he had any other choice, he just hoped they fit. He would make them fit. It was too kind of a gesture to even think about ruining and-

Here he was, spiralling again. He took a breath, reaching a hand up to run through hair that was still a little out of place before he turned a little awkwardly towards the bathroom. It was just a shower. He was just getting ready, so why did his limbs feel so heavy?

It was the kind of time he would've paid someone to help, to wash his hair, to help clear years and years worth of self loathing and heaviness from his entire body, but he couldn't ask anyone to do that. He barely knew them. He didn't even know what it would be like to have someone do that anyway and... he was being ridiculous. He'd lasted this long on his own.

It was impossible to keep from thinking of a time when his own joints moved like that, behand a smile that nodded and spoke pleasantries seconds before a breakdown. And before Tatsu could talk himself out of it, the taller male stood, slowly.

"Uh..." Full lips parted and then pursed. God how to even.. "A-aster-san?" His voice peeped out gently as brows pinched. He made he way those few steps over to the other, head tilted, ears quirked.

"I-I... I swear I don't... mean this in a weird way I just.." Eyes flicked to the washroom, and then upstairs, picturing himself, curled up in his Form, in that far, far corner the moment Inhyeonggie had left him.

"I-I know I said it.. That.. Y'know.. I'm here if you need anything, right? But I also..." He signed out, looking back to the other, taking a half step closer. "I also know what its like.. knowing help would.. maybe be nice but not feeling okay or... or safe enough or even... right in your skin enough to make your mouth say the words and actually ask so.. S-so just know that I'm not.. I swear I'm not trying to be weird a-and I can sit here or leave or.. whatever if you don't need anything but just..."

He'd tried to make friends, to prove he wasn't scary, or dangerous, or as weird as his blood seemed to suggest. He tried to win them over with smiles and hands held out in hopes someone would take it.

He'd tried, even after Lucifer killed friends he made, to keep his head up, to seem unaffected. He tried to turn into the unfeeling, ruthless killer the King wanted. He tried not to bite back, to accept that this was the hand that fed him, that he just needed to be better, to prove he was better, and it would all be okay.

He'd tried, when he realised nothing would ever be good enough, to not want approval. To not want someone to tell him he was doing well. He tried not to crave a soft hand, a warm touch, a person to tell him that it didn't matter if he didn't succeed every time, what mattered was that he tried, and that he kept trying no matter what.

He'd tried here, not to appear the weak, broken thing that Hell had turned him into. He'd tried to walk in, to do as he'd promised Yongsun and accept help, but he tried to do it with the least trouble possible.

He tried, and as Tatsuya stood in front of him, offering him everything he'd been just thinking as though it had been written all over his face, he failed. He failed so badly that exhausted tears welled in his eyes, and he nearly sagged with the relief of someone noticing. By some miracle, he kept on his feet. By even more of a miracle, he managed a nod. Just the slightest, tiniest of movements.

But this was so much more than he could've asked. So his heart ached, brows knit, but his heart soared in the same little nod. Without a moment longer to wait, he stepped closer. Both hands went out and gently cupped those dampening cheeks. And first? Foreheads pressed as he so gently, unwaveringly brought their gazes to lock. He didn't have.. words for the gesture or the moment.. Just this. Just locked eyes. Eyes that saw and felt and knew.

And then he pulled Aster closer, pressing Aster's head to rest against the crook of his covered neck. Fingers raked up into hair, another hand wrapping around a slender torso as he held the other.. oh so close, eyes shut.

And it was the acceptance to look around with him, to take care of himself and wash up. There weren't... Words really, or reasons that all those things felt so huge.. But Tatsu could tell that they were. He felt the weight on effort it took and god it just made him smile more, eyes swirling shades of yellows and golden hues. Ears that'd perked shy high flopped a little with the velocity with which he shook his head.

"I-I'm happy to wait! Please, t-..take your time! A-and about the showerhead-" He looked towards the other's washroom with a nod. "You have to turn both dials a little to get the water going and then pull the plunger looking thing on the faucet up if you want a shower or leave it down if you want it to fill the tub! Theres soap, a sponge and hair things in the shower already for you, and towels and a robe in the cabinet! Thats also where a toothbrush and some toothpaste is"

He paused, head tilting, eyes up and elsewhere as he worked and muttered through the mental checklist of things that would be good to know." Uhm..." He nodded a little, looking back to Aster, "If you just shower, the water'll obviously drain as normal. If you take a bath then when the water's off, you just have to pull the plunger thingy up and it'll drain the tub pretty quick, I...." One more head tilt, lips pushing out in thought before he gave one more nod.

He nodded, a little bewildered at so many steps, but he supposed it made sense. He finished the tart, standing up as he ran it all through in his head once more. Turn both dials a little, then the faucet... Wait, no, the plunger? Right, the plunger.

"Thank you," he murmured, reaching for the bag of clothes that Tako has brought in. It wasn't like he had any other choice, he just hoped they fit. He would make them fit. It was too kind of a gesture to even think about ruining and-

Here he was, spiralling again. He took a breath, reaching a hand up to run through hair that was still a little out of place before he turned a little awkwardly towards the bathroom. It was just a shower. He was just getting ready, so why did his limbs feel so heavy?

It was the kind of time he would've paid someone to help, to wash his hair, to help clear years and years worth of self loathing and heaviness from his entire body, but he couldn't ask anyone to do that. He barely knew them. He didn't even know what it would be like to have someone do that anyway and... he was being ridiculous. He'd lasted this long on his own.

It was impossible to keep from thinking of a time when his own joints moved like that, behand a smile that nodded and spoke pleasantries seconds before a breakdown. And before Tatsu could talk himself out of it, the taller male stood, slowly.

"Uh..." Full lips parted and then pursed. God how to even.. "A-aster-san?" His voice peeped out gently as brows pinched. He made he way those few steps over to the other, head tilted, ears quirked.

"I-I... I swear I don't... mean this in a weird way I just.." Eyes flicked to the washroom, and then upstairs, picturing himself, curled up in his Form, in that far, far corner the moment Inhyeonggie had left him.

"I-I know I said it.. That.. Y'know.. I'm here if you need anything, right? But I also..." He signed out, looking back to the other, taking a half step closer. "I also know what its like.. knowing help would.. maybe be nice but not feeling okay or... or safe enough or even... right in your skin enough to make your mouth say the words and actually ask so.. S-so just know that I'm not.. I swear I'm not trying to be weird a-and I can sit here or leave or.. whatever if you don't need anything but just..."

"O-okay?" There was a small swishing sound, his tail having poofed into view again, wagging gently between the slats of the chair's backrest. His hands gave Aster's a little, hopeful, excited squeeze. It wasn't 100 percent. Aster's motions, his eyes, even, were filled with tension still uncertainty and a whole bunch of other things. Tako's stuttered little pep-talk hadn't magically cured the other.. And maybe that's why it meant so much. Because Aster was trying. With every little smile, every nibble, Tako saw him trying to push against whatever walls had been shoved into his mind. And god that meant the world to him.

"O-okay!" The swishing sounds of his tail grew faster as he scooted closer, honey-coloured eyes glittering like sunshine on a late. "H-how is it?" He beamed, happy to let the subject shift, as he motioned towards the mini fruit tart in the other's hand. "I.. I made the crust this morning so I hope it all got crispy enough in the oven without getting too crispy?" His head tilted, ears quirked in opposite directions.

Of the three people he'd really met so far, each of them had offered him a smile, a friendly face, and now Tatsuya was here with treats he'd spent the time baking for him and seemed so proud of.

"It's perfect," He answered, giving him a hint of a smile too. It really was - Aster had never had much access to sweet treats, especially not home baked ones. It's not like he'd never had any, but this was definitely up there with the best. It was on par with the brown sugar crusted choux bun he'd saved up loose change he'd found on streets for for months. It had been worth it, but it had taken quite a while.

At the offer to be shown around, he looked up at him properly, swallowing the mouthful he had. He supposed he needed to know this place in order to know how to run if anything did happen, or how to better try and protect it. Learn it's shadows, it's weaknesses. It's strengths too, and maybe more of the people that would be around, so he could work out who to trust and who not to.

And it was the acceptance to look around with him, to take care of himself and wash up. There weren't... Words really, or reasons that all those things felt so huge.. But Tatsu could tell that they were. He felt the weight on effort it took and god it just made him smile more, eyes swirling shades of yellows and golden hues. Ears that'd perked shy high flopped a little with the velocity with which he shook his head.

"I-I'm happy to wait! Please, t-..take your time! A-and about the showerhead-" He looked towards the other's washroom with a nod. "You have to turn both dials a little to get the water going and then pull the plunger looking thing on the faucet up if you want a shower or leave it down if you want it to fill the tub! Theres soap, a sponge and hair things in the shower already for you, and towels and a robe in the cabinet! Thats also where a toothbrush and some toothpaste is"

He paused, head tilting, eyes up and elsewhere as he worked and muttered through the mental checklist of things that would be good to know." Uhm..." He nodded a little, looking back to Aster, "If you just shower, the water'll obviously drain as normal. If you take a bath then when the water's off, you just have to pull the plunger thingy up and it'll drain the tub pretty quick, I...." One more head tilt, lips pushing out in thought before he gave one more nod.

A nod. A small, scared, incredible little action. But it hadn't just been a nod... God it'd been so, so much more. And oh god how the words meant so much, and hurt so, so much. Tatsuya listened first before he moved a muscle. He listened close as ears pressed unknowingly flat and brows pinched. Tatsu was... never a fighter.. But god how he'd love to take a chunk of whatever thing had hurt a soft soul like this so completely.

But he listened. To any and everything that soft voice, near to breaking would give him. And then, after everything, then Tatsuya gently rested his hand on Aster's. He let a second or two linger before he took a small liberty, and held that hand in his own with a gentle but unapologetic grip. Lips parted..

Butt god.. Where to start?

"...You...you're not bad.. Aster." He swallowed softly with another shake of his head, the motion untucking the hair from the other hair, semi long strands framing his face as he looked from linked hands to the other.

"What...Whatever he did.. to make you honestly feel that way... Those are... Those are things he did. The people he... must've hurt to hurt you.. Those were his actions, Aster. Not yours. I think.. Maybe you are different, were born different... But its... Its the stuff he did that made that feel bad." He thought to give that hand a squeeze.. But that felt too.. too brief. So instead, he doubled down, holding Aster's one hand in both of his own.

"You being here isn't...." Brows knit, eyes at their hands in thought for only as long as it took for the words to come to his brain with a shake of his head. "Its not bad either, Aster. There are plenty of rooms here. You're not.. taking this from anyone. We.. Everybody here came from.. a darker place. Some, like Inhyeonggie-hyung are..." Lips pursed momentarily over the word, ".... Lucky enough to know the place or people he came from are gone. But that's not the case for everyone here. I'm not saying this to say like... 'oh everybody struggles suck it up' or anything dumb like that. I'm just saying..." Brows knit a little and he did give their hands a gentle squeeze and made sure their eyes were locked.

"I'm saying it because we know... We're all here to live in a safer place. Safer from where we came from.. But also.. We live here knowing that people here may need to be defended, protected. And we stay here knowing that, willing and happy to do whatever when that time comes. Its not.. wasted on you. Because that... that thing that hurt you is wrong Aster. You deserve to be happy, to breathe and smile and laugh and love and.." One more squeeze, for teary-eyed good measure.

His eyes flicked to their hands, to the way his was enveloped so carefully but comfortingly between the other's. It was secure, safe in a way despite it only being his hand.

But more than that, it was the fact that, after he had just seen Aster covered in what he imagined was unfamiliar black stuff, he was still holding his hand. Still... willing to touch him, to stay close.

Maybe that spoke to how good of a person Tatsuya was more than the truth in the words or how trustworthy Aster could possibly be.

But for every word that the other spoke, Aster was left with... basically none. What was there to say? He couldn't argue with it, that would be rude - he couldn't tell him he was wrong, that no one would want to fight for him, because he didn't know anyone here. He couldn't confirm nor deny it, and only had the other's words to go off. His, and Ember's.

His eyes flicked to the ears, pressed flat and making his heart ache knowing he was likely causing that... And he found he didn't want to anymore. He'd spent decades stuffing everything down, down, down that it would not be a hard task to do it all over again for his sake.

And so rather than speak, at first, he... reached for something off of that board of carefully prepared treats. It wasn't an answer but... in a way, it was. He was not ready to tell anyone it was Lucifer looking for him yet - at least not unnecessarily - but this. This he could do. He could make himself, for at least a moment, at least trust that one person wasnt out to kill him, even if full trust would take time. And so he took a bite, giving him a little half smile and a small "okay..."

"O-okay?" There was a small swishing sound, his tail having poofed into view again, wagging gently between the slats of the chair's backrest. His hands gave Aster's a little, hopeful, excited squeeze. It wasn't 100 percent. Aster's motions, his eyes, even, were filled with tension still uncertainty and a whole bunch of other things. Tako's stuttered little pep-talk hadn't magically cured the other.. And maybe that's why it meant so much. Because Aster was trying. With every little smile, every nibble, Tako saw him trying to push against whatever walls had been shoved into his mind. And god that meant the world to him.

"O-okay!" The swishing sounds of his tail grew faster as he scooted closer, honey-coloured eyes glittering like sunshine on a late. "H-how is it?" He beamed, happy to let the subject shift, as he motioned towards the mini fruit tart in the other's hand. "I.. I made the crust this morning so I hope it all got crispy enough in the oven without getting too crispy?" His head tilted, ears quirked in opposite directions.

It was funny, really, how things could be so different if Lucifer had taken a different approach. If he'd decided to build Aster up, make him feel strong, feel like he belonged rather than making him feel wrong and broken and an outcast, perhaps he would've had exactly what he wanted. Maybe, if he'd taken a bit of extra time to tell Aster that he was a work in progress rather than a failure, or a person rather than a toy, he may have believed him, may have served him willingly and at full strength. Instead, he was... this. This scared little thing who was ashamed of his own power most of the time.

He swallowed, about to make excuses to leave despite it being his own space - or at least, his assigned space at the time - when he was asked... are you alright? rather than being met with sneers or screams.

"I..." He started, looking up at him for a moment, then to that hand that was close to his own. That want to reach out, that want to comfort - he understood that. He'd been that. Oh how he wished he hadn't been torn down so much he couldn't even trust someone being so kind.

"It just... It made me jump," He whispered, voice barely there for a moment as he swallowed, trying to compose himself. He could make excuses, but he found himself hit with the sudden urge to tell the truth - or at least part of it.

But for now, his eyes jumped a little wider and a little lighter. Because what followed hadn't been hollow- Hadn't been just.. something easy to say that would move the conversation along. It was hard. And it was real. It was ears, this time, that poofed into existence at the top of his head, perked at the words that followed. He took in every single word that followed, and every unsaid hint of the ones implied. Eyes grew a warmer, dewier shade of honey drown, ears pressing a little flat as he listened to Aster's past and remembered his own.

"It.. It's okay, Aster" The low voice breathed out after a few seconds of thought, head giving a gentle nod. He scooted just a little closer. "I.. I know you.. just apologized, just now, cus I was talking but.." Brows twitched together for a moment as amber hues looked into the others... muted orange eyes. Lips pursed for a moment, like he was debating on saying anything. It might sound stupid but... Well he hadn't made progress by staying in a comfort zone- Otherwise, he'd still be curled up in a corner watching the flap at his door for food.

"But I... I feel like.. you're also using it to apologize for being... scared... and being hurt.." The longer strands of his hair came untucked from behind his [human] ears as he gently but firmly shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for having been hurt by somebody, or for having defenses against being hurt--- by them or others... Especially not when he sounds so..." He grimaced in purely empathetic pain, ears pressing flat back. "So... all encompassing.. Suffocating.." Tatsuya swallowed gently, looking to the table, trying to find words in the woodgrain for a few seconds.

"You don't have to apologize for healing, Aster. It might take... a lot of ups and downs to get to an okay place again. Heck I-I'm.. still not fully always in the clear myself but.." Eyes flicked back up to Aster's again, gaze gentle and sure, "You're.. not alone in that healing. And... A-and I know even that might take some time to really..like.. To really settle into your bones? That's how it felt for me at least. Hearing that it was okay to be scared, to jump at loud noises or new people was one thing.. But it took a bit for the message to connect with my brain and my body... if that makes sense? It does take time but.. Everyone here understands that. And nobody's gonna hold that time and that process against you, o-okay?"

But words were in his head, whispered in a voice he'd known from the day he was born - words that told him no one could be trusted. That, for as long as Aster lived, he would never know true peace if he didn't obey, didn't do what Lucifer wanted of him.

And if he did trust, if he did let him in, would that put him at risk? If everyone here had been through so much hardship, so much hurt... If Tatsuya himself had clawed up from rock bottom to be what he was now, could Aster risk even the chance that Lucifer would come and make him suffer simply for knowing him?

But then a hand was close to his own, hovering, and a careful question asked... And oh god, Aster was weak. He was so weak, so starved of any kind of affection or support or anything that despite it all, despite the fear, he nodded. It was a selfish agreement, a selfish need for reassurance or comfort despite the risk it held.

He remembered being a pup. He remembered friends he made, or tried to make. He remembered the way they would whimper, would yelp in pain when Lucifer deemed them a distraction and not worth the trouble. He would hurt them, to show Aster what he would do one day. It had taken a handful of the pups limping to Ash's doorstep before everyone stopped bothering to try talking to him. Before they looked at him like the monster, the abomination that he was.

A nod. A small, scared, incredible little action. But it hadn't just been a nod... God it'd been so, so much more. And oh god how the words meant so much, and hurt so, so much. Tatsuya listened first before he moved a muscle. He listened close as ears pressed unknowingly flat and brows pinched. Tatsu was... never a fighter.. But god how he'd love to take a chunk of whatever thing had hurt a soft soul like this so completely.

But he listened. To any and everything that soft voice, near to breaking would give him. And then, after everything, then Tatsuya gently rested his hand on Aster's. He let a second or two linger before he took a small liberty, and held that hand in his own with a gentle but unapologetic grip. Lips parted..

Butt god.. Where to start?

"...You...you're not bad.. Aster." He swallowed softly with another shake of his head, the motion untucking the hair from the other hair, semi long strands framing his face as he looked from linked hands to the other.

"What...Whatever he did.. to make you honestly feel that way... Those are... Those are things he did. The people he... must've hurt to hurt you.. Those were his actions, Aster. Not yours. I think.. Maybe you are different, were born different... But its... Its the stuff he did that made that feel bad." He thought to give that hand a squeeze.. But that felt too.. too brief. So instead, he doubled down, holding Aster's one hand in both of his own.

"You being here isn't...." Brows knit, eyes at their hands in thought for only as long as it took for the words to come to his brain with a shake of his head. "Its not bad either, Aster. There are plenty of rooms here. You're not.. taking this from anyone. We.. Everybody here came from.. a darker place. Some, like Inhyeonggie-hyung are..." Lips pursed momentarily over the word, ".... Lucky enough to know the place or people he came from are gone. But that's not the case for everyone here. I'm not saying this to say like... 'oh everybody struggles suck it up' or anything dumb like that. I'm just saying..." Brows knit a little and he did give their hands a gentle squeeze and made sure their eyes were locked.

"I'm saying it because we know... We're all here to live in a safer place. Safer from where we came from.. But also.. We live here knowing that people here may need to be defended, protected. And we stay here knowing that, willing and happy to do whatever when that time comes. Its not.. wasted on you. Because that... that thing that hurt you is wrong Aster. You deserve to be happy, to breathe and smile and laugh and love and.." One more squeeze, for teary-eyed good measure.

It was funny, really, how things could be so different if Lucifer had taken a different approach. If he'd decided to build Aster up, make him feel strong, feel like he belonged rather than making him feel wrong and broken and an outcast, perhaps he would've had exactly what he wanted. Maybe, if he'd taken a bit of extra time to tell Aster that he was a work in progress rather than a failure, or a person rather than a toy, he may have believed him, may have served him willingly and at full strength. Instead, he was... this. This scared little thing who was ashamed of his own power most of the time.

He swallowed, about to make excuses to leave despite it being his own space - or at least, his assigned space at the time - when he was asked... are you alright? rather than being met with sneers or screams.

"I..." He started, looking up at him for a moment, then to that hand that was close to his own. That want to reach out, that want to comfort - he understood that. He'd been that. Oh how he wished he hadn't been torn down so much he couldn't even trust someone being so kind.

"It just... It made me jump," He whispered, voice barely there for a moment as he swallowed, trying to compose himself. He could make excuses, but he found himself hit with the sudden urge to tell the truth - or at least part of it.

But for now, his eyes jumped a little wider and a little lighter. Because what followed hadn't been hollow- Hadn't been just.. something easy to say that would move the conversation along. It was hard. And it was real. It was ears, this time, that poofed into existence at the top of his head, perked at the words that followed. He took in every single word that followed, and every unsaid hint of the ones implied. Eyes grew a warmer, dewier shade of honey drown, ears pressing a little flat as he listened to Aster's past and remembered his own.

"It.. It's okay, Aster" The low voice breathed out after a few seconds of thought, head giving a gentle nod. He scooted just a little closer. "I.. I know you.. just apologized, just now, cus I was talking but.." Brows twitched together for a moment as amber hues looked into the others... muted orange eyes. Lips pursed for a moment, like he was debating on saying anything. It might sound stupid but... Well he hadn't made progress by staying in a comfort zone- Otherwise, he'd still be curled up in a corner watching the flap at his door for food.

"But I... I feel like.. you're also using it to apologize for being... scared... and being hurt.." The longer strands of his hair came untucked from behind his [human] ears as he gently but firmly shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for having been hurt by somebody, or for having defenses against being hurt--- by them or others... Especially not when he sounds so..." He grimaced in purely empathetic pain, ears pressing flat back. "So... all encompassing.. Suffocating.." Tatsuya swallowed gently, looking to the table, trying to find words in the woodgrain for a few seconds.

"You don't have to apologize for healing, Aster. It might take... a lot of ups and downs to get to an okay place again. Heck I-I'm.. still not fully always in the clear myself but.." Eyes flicked back up to Aster's again, gaze gentle and sure, "You're.. not alone in that healing. And... A-and I know even that might take some time to really..like.. To really settle into your bones? That's how it felt for me at least. Hearing that it was okay to be scared, to jump at loud noises or new people was one thing.. But it took a bit for the message to connect with my brain and my body... if that makes sense? It does take time but.. Everyone here understands that. And nobody's gonna hold that time and that process against you, o-okay?"

"Please don't feel like you have to wait to try them on my account. I promise I sampled way more while I was making everything so. A-and it makes sense that you didn't look around. I don't know really anything about you but I can guess that you arrived here too tired to do much more than sleep" The warmth and the almost heavy empathy softened his smile. His eyes shifted off to the side as he sat beside the other, hands clasped at his lap.

"Hyung didn't.. say much of anything. He never does when we get new people here, cus he never really has to." The swirling of his eyes slowed to a stop as his gaze went towards the floor, clasped fingers figdeting slowly.

"Its kind of... One of those not-needed-to-be-said kind of things when it comes to this place. Every single one of us came to Avarice running from death, some.. like me for instance, barely escaping it. Even Taeseok and Ember Hyung. So..." He blinked back from almost slipping into darker, more copper-smelling memories to smile warmly back up to Aster. A hand was so, so tempted to reach out, but if his journey here had been anything like Tatsu's.. that touch would be too much. So the hands just rested atop the table, a little open. There if the other wanted to contact, but not demanding it either.

"So I just mean.. Your circumstances or secrets are yours to tetll when or.. if you feel ready. Everybody here understands that and.. They are all kind in their own ways. Even Xin! Though he's the most rough around the edges. And Inhyeonggie-hyung- the vampire you guessed about!" His smile went a little warmer, "He's really kind and cares sincerely for other people its just... His past was.. a lot longer than any of our lifetimes and a lot more... hard, so he shows it in his own kind of way. And..."

....

"Oh!" He perked slightly, back straightening as his train of thought finally chugged in a full circle, "You asked about my Form, didn't you? Like ages ago and I fully skipped over it! God.." It was a sigh, but it came out as more a of whine as his forehead bumped against the top of the table.

He was painfully aware that in comparison, his own story was likely boring. A boy raised to be a weapon, bullied by a bunch of people who had permission and the gall to punch down. There was no... dramatic escape. No bloody clawing at a door, no bursting in pursued by hunters or barely clinging onto life. Aster's situation had been quieter. If he went back... Lucifer would keep him around for a while, he was sure. Probably punish him for ever thinking he could leave, but...

His eyes dropped to the food, and for a flicker of a moment, it occurred to him that while Tatsuya was nothing but friendly, while the shadows hadn't grown cold or sharp in the room, Lucifer had hurt people with far sweeter promises. He would not put it past the man to poison him through someone else, and Aster didn't know anyone here, not really, and what if Yongsun was in on all of it? And-...

He was hesitating, panic in his eyes even as his features stayed carefully schooled, swallowing as he tried to focus on what was being said instead.

There was a bang, down the hallway somewhere - Aster would realise, after a few moments, that it was a door but in that brief second, his heart leapt, his eyes flicked a smokey black, and the shadows in the room grew. It was when he realised that it had been nothing, that steps had just passed by and headed off to wherever, that he realised what a fright he must look - darkness itself wrapping around his body, protective and defensive all at once.

"I-..." He started, blinking once, twice, his eyes flicking back to their normal slightly ashen orange. He focused on making it all disappear, on guiding shadows back to where they were supposed to be, even as knuckles turned white where he kept hands clenched to one another.

Aster was... There was... It looked like.. shadows? Covering his arms and hands but... It moved and undulated... And had the room gotten darker? It was morning still, but the shadows themselves seemed to stand longer, deeper than they had before. Full lips hung just a little open as the tall, turtleneck wearing male took in the site, gaze stopping at those pitch-black eyes, blinking once as they blinked. And blinked again. And then Aster's normal eyes were back. He watched with slightly wide eyes as those tendrils waned- and if the white-knuckles were any indication, that wasn't the easiest task. Brows knit together and upward.

And he scooted closer, hand on the table, a touch closer to the Aster's both, voice softer.

"Are you okay, Aster? I-- The door got me too. I think it was Xin-hyung getting stuff.. I-II think he was probably in a hurry and slammed his door without thinking but.." Lips pursed, even pushing out in a gently worried pout, first at the door, and then back to Aster.

"I-I guess I'll have to see what they even want me to do. Or what they'd be happy with me doing." He answered, moving gingerly to sit down at the nearby table, motioning an offer for him to do the same, even while he listed off staff members, a number of which he hadn't met yet. Would they all be kind? It was hard to say. It was a wishful thought, a hope that really, he had no place hoping.

It was childish, to hope that everything was perfect here, that it really was a paradise, an oasis of safety in the storm that has been his existence. But he was hoping anyway. In truth, he was just glad to be getting some kind of information. Names might help ease the ache of having to try and either fit in or blend back into the shadows.

"Mm, I think I met him. He... I recognised his scent. He's a vampire, right?" he asked, not sure if that was an overstepping question or not. Oh well, it was out there now. And it wasn't like he was spilling out why he knew these things, how he knew the scent enough to be able to pinpoint it. He wasn't sure how much Ember had told him. How much he'd told anyone, and it had him curious...

"Please don't feel like you have to wait to try them on my account. I promise I sampled way more while I was making everything so. A-and it makes sense that you didn't look around. I don't know really anything about you but I can guess that you arrived here too tired to do much more than sleep" The warmth and the almost heavy empathy softened his smile. His eyes shifted off to the side as he sat beside the other, hands clasped at his lap.

"Hyung didn't.. say much of anything. He never does when we get new people here, cus he never really has to." The swirling of his eyes slowed to a stop as his gaze went towards the floor, clasped fingers figdeting slowly.

"Its kind of... One of those not-needed-to-be-said kind of things when it comes to this place. Every single one of us came to Avarice running from death, some.. like me for instance, barely escaping it. Even Taeseok and Ember Hyung. So..." He blinked back from almost slipping into darker, more copper-smelling memories to smile warmly back up to Aster. A hand was so, so tempted to reach out, but if his journey here had been anything like Tatsu's.. that touch would be too much. So the hands just rested atop the table, a little open. There if the other wanted to contact, but not demanding it either.

"So I just mean.. Your circumstances or secrets are yours to tetll when or.. if you feel ready. Everybody here understands that and.. They are all kind in their own ways. Even Xin! Though he's the most rough around the edges. And Inhyeonggie-hyung- the vampire you guessed about!" His smile went a little warmer, "He's really kind and cares sincerely for other people its just... His past was.. a lot longer than any of our lifetimes and a lot more... hard, so he shows it in his own kind of way. And..."

....

"Oh!" He perked slightly, back straightening as his train of thought finally chugged in a full circle, "You asked about my Form, didn't you? Like ages ago and I fully skipped over it! God.." It was a sigh, but it came out as more a of whine as his forehead bumped against the top of the table.

In this case, that thing he'd hooked into had been the very first thing Aster had said. It'd been that which caused swirling golden eyes to flick up from the floor, shimmering a few shades brighter as a smile pulled at his lips. Not at the promise of payment, but-

"Y-you think you might work here too? Y-you should! It--" Too much. Too loud. Tatsuya caught himself and cleared his throat, voice back to a normal volume. General disposition... at least closer to a normal person replying in a conversation.

"I.. I don't know how much Hyung would've explained to you, but you can totally work here with us if you want! I'm not.. I'm not really the night club type? Its all for... y'know hot, tall, muscluar guys and stuff. But Crows Nest is better for me! Its-- That's what we call Avarice during the day, when it's a brunch spot. I work as a server, busser, coat taker. Sometimes a host if Hyung is away or our other Hyung is off doing stuff. I could-" He gasped, eyes alight, smile wider and warm.

There he was again, spiralling internally when it had been such a simple conversation, a simple question that had been asked. No, not so much a question… an offer. Aster preferred the nighttime, but if the bar was for tall, muscular guys… Well, he couldn't see why Tatsuya didnt think he fit for a start, but he knew he didn't.

"I… I'll think about," he promised, hoping it was enough… hoping it wouldn't dampen the other's excitement. Because that tail was a sight that made his chest warm just a little. To know that someone was just… that comfortable while standing in front of him.

The tail, from what he could see of it, with those eyes… It had him smiling just a hint again. He couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what the other was but… it was close. His own tail wouldn't show while he was in human form, he'd never been able to half-shift, but the shadows could form it, or ears even, when he was lost enough.

"A-all that to say is I think you'd be great anywhere I-I'm just. I'd be happy to show you things if you wanted to work at Crows Nest s-so just.. yeah.." He nodded a little, tail slowing and silently poofing away, Tatsuya still fully unaware that it'd come or gone.

"Hyung? Hyung is.." He'd blinked up at the question. But this time, instead of wincing at himself, he actually puffed out a soft laugh, hand rubbing the back of his neck and the longer hairs that came to an end there.

"Hyung is.. Something you'll figure out real quick is that I'm the youngest... and most boring thing here. So I call everybody Hyung. I know Ember-hyung is the one who told me you'd moved in! And Taekseok-Hyung is the one who started and owns all of this." To which he gestured very generally around them.

"But as to who I talked about before, Inhyeonggie-hyung is the one who actually rescued me. You.." Brows knit, full lips pushing out in thought as his head gave a puppy-like tilt.

"I don't.. Know if you've met him yet but maybe? He's the smaller front door bouncer, probably about your height, really nice but really uhm..." Brows furrowed and lips pursed as he thought of the word.

When he shifted, when he gave himself over to that form, it was like both of his halves aligned perfectly. He could drift through shadows unseen, even more so than when he was in this form, his fur fluttering in wisps of darkness like smoke as he moved. There was no… social cues, or having to think of worded responses. There was only him. The wolf.

Well, and food and toilet breaks.

He was still ever quiet, likely infuriatingly so. He thought he caught a flash of yellow in the other's eye as Tatsuya left and came back in with a bag of clothes. He blinked in surprise, running fingers through hair that, despite not actually having been pressed against a pillow overnight, looked remarkably like it had. It only messed it further.

God, what was he doing? The few he'd met so far had been kind, and yet he still felt like each kind hand would turn into a claw, that that claw would slash at him and leave more scars, more pain, more trauma. Tatsuya had given him no reason whatsoever to think for a second that he would do that, and yet Aster was still skittish, still cautious.

If he had hackles in this form, they would be raised as he stepped forward, taking the bag with another little nod in thanks. "Are you sure? I… I'll find a way to repay you. It might take me a little while, but Ember said I could maybe get a job."

He swallowed, looking down at the bag in hands that were still bruised from swinging punches in self defence the day before. His nose still stung, jaw still ached with bruising he wasn't sure had shown up yet. But even then, he wasn't… beaten and bloody. He'd been alive, and breathing, and he felt remarkably like he was taking up the space that someone more deserving should have.

In this case, that thing he'd hooked into had been the very first thing Aster had said. It'd been that which caused swirling golden eyes to flick up from the floor, shimmering a few shades brighter as a smile pulled at his lips. Not at the promise of payment, but-

"Y-you think you might work here too? Y-you should! It--" Too much. Too loud. Tatsuya caught himself and cleared his throat, voice back to a normal volume. General disposition... at least closer to a normal person replying in a conversation.

"I.. I don't know how much Hyung would've explained to you, but you can totally work here with us if you want! I'm not.. I'm not really the night club type? Its all for... y'know hot, tall, muscluar guys and stuff. But Crows Nest is better for me! Its-- That's what we call Avarice during the day, when it's a brunch spot. I work as a server, busser, coat taker. Sometimes a host if Hyung is away or our other Hyung is off doing stuff. I could-" He gasped, eyes alight, smile wider and warm.

But more than that, he had a face with features delicate enough that someone could tell him he was made from starlight and Aster would believe it. A smile an a flush that only accentuated that more.

But no, he could tell that the other wasn't made of starlight.

He could tell by the scent that carried under the smell of the freshly made cakes and cookies on a plate, or the hint of ink and torn paper that he could still just pick up on - it was similar to Wolf. Similar, maybe, to his own, if he really thought about it. But… different. Like someone had turned the dial on the contrast down just a little, softening the sharp edges, maybe upping the sepia. It was curious, and he found himself yet again tilting his head in curiosity.

A smile, just the very hint of one, started to pull at one corner of his lips. Apologising for himself… Now where had he heard that one before?

"Do… You want to come visit your plants?" He asked in the end, stepping back a little and opening the door. A fools decision, probably, but… maybe a small part of him was doing it selfishly. Because while Wolf was different in a lot of ways, that infectious energy he'd been craving, missing, seemed to flow through the other too. "I- Oh, here, let me take that from you." He realised the other was still holding the plate, and quickly took it, bowing a little in thanks. Another strange move for him, given he often refused such things because very few in his eyes actually deserved it.

But none of that happened. Instead, there was a almost inaudible creak of a door opening further, and an invite to see.. to see his plants. It was a small thing. A thing that almost anybody would've shrugged off. But Tatsuya felt a smile, timidly hopeful, pull at his lips, the apples of his cheeks flush all over again, and then a few degrees warmer as the plate was taken from his hands as he was allowed to step inside.

"I-its okay, trust me. You don't have to be" He'd gravitated towards the small orchids by the front door, broad shoulders relaxing along with his smile as he carefully began feeling over their petals, the gold and yellow of his eyes swirling slowly. He even felt himself puff out a soft laugh.

"You're already better at it than I was when Hyung rescued me. I showed up bloody, half alive, and even after they'd managed to heal me, I stayed curled in in my Form, as far from the door as I could for about a week. Hyung had to install one of those... those little doors for cats? At the bottom of my door to slide in food for me." That---- Nobody needed to know that. He winced a little at ... all of that. God what was wrong with him....

"Oh! Right! I also--" Without another word, he darted from the room, and darted back in, a small sack in his hands.

@hellslittleprince -Aster

"A-ah! Oh... God.. Fuck. I--" A voice, low and soft gasped on the other side of the door as it opened, a tall, slender frame standing on the other side- only for his height to be halved as he bowed low enough that brown strands dusted the ground.

"I-I'm sorry about that. I-If I woke you, I mean. I didn't mean to I just--" The male straightened back up after grabbing a plate from the ground, the plate was covered in well stacked small cakes and cookies.

"I'm.. My name is Tatsuya and I.. I heard somebody was going to be living in this loft and I'm the next closest one so I wanted to give you something to welcome you here? And also to apologize for all the plants I left lying around your home but I didn't want to wake you so I want going to leave these here but I didn't want to freak you out thinking some random person had just left you suspicious food so I was going to leave a note on your door but I mis-wrote my own name and...."

Aster blinked slowly, his sleep addled brain slowly catching up with what was in front of him. His hair was sticking up in odd directions, skin sleep warm and a little flushed...

He was talking about... what? Plants, notes, suspicious food and... Oh! Oh, he was still looking through the small gap in the door.

"Hang... Hang on," he started softly, pushing the door closed enough to unhook it, opening it a bit wider, though still hovered in a way that he could close it if he needed to. For now... This stranger didn't seem to be a threat...

He actually kind of reminded him of Wolf.

Aster swallowed back the sting at that thought, "Tatsuya..." he parroted back, committing the name to memory, "I uh... Aster," he answered, chewing a bit at his lip as he glanced over him again, at the plate, back up... "Thank... Thank you." he said eventually, unsure if he should take the plate and ust as awkward apparently and yet in a far less helpful, bright way. He was just... god, what even was he? A shell of a person? A dark spot? A lead weight? A-

The other-- Aster. Aster. Wow, that was a lovely name- And.. Yes, okay. He'd at least been given a name instead of a scowl or a door slammed in his face. That much was good. A name, a slightly more open door, a word of thanks. But now...

Now what?

Now he was just standing there, shirtless wordless and Tatsuya never knew what to do in moments like this where h--

"H-huh?" Immediately, his face flushed and eyes glowed a warm honey golden. "O-oh I...Well.. So I had started writing my name a-as I normally do. But since its-- Y'know its a Japanese name I didn't know if you'd want to read that so I stopped writing it halfway through one character and put a line where it didn't go and then I ripped the page trying to scratch it out so then I thought to get a different sheet of paper because I didn't want it to look like some stranger had just left you a ransom note with a strange plate of baked goods so it....." His mind and brain finally caught up with one another but left Tatsu in the dust, once more.

@hellslittleprince -Aster

"A-ah! Oh... God.. Fuck. I--" A voice, low and soft gasped on the other side of the door as it opened, a tall, slender frame standing on the other side- only for his height to be halved as he bowed low enough that brown strands dusted the ground.

"I-I'm sorry about that. I-If I woke you, I mean. I didn't mean to I just--" The male straightened back up after grabbing a plate from the ground, the plate was covered in well stacked small cakes and cookies.

"I'm.. My name is Tatsuya and I.. I heard somebody was going to be living in this loft and I'm the next closest one so I wanted to give you something to welcome you here? And also to apologize for all the plants I left lying around your home but I didn't want to wake you so I want going to leave these here but I didn't want to freak you out thinking some random person had just left you suspicious food so I was going to leave a note on your door but I mis-wrote my own name and...."