Just a wee bit lost here

It's true, isn't it? Spoke is Jamato's creation, no matter how much he may try to pretend otherwise. I won't sit here and pretend a lot of us didn't see this coming for Spoke ever since earlier mafia days, but- in the end it's all Jamato's fault. If only he hadn't left. If only he hadn't come back. If Jamato leaving was what cracked Spoke, him coming back is what broke him. They could have been happy. They could have been happy, and while Spoke is still responsible for his own actions... In the end Jamato is the real reason any of this was even put into place.

I guess it started from the very beginning. Spoke and Jamato were friends, and Jamato gave Spoke a reason to care. They were never perfect. Spoke was never perfect. But he had fun, if Jamato really fucking cared so much about the chaos he was causing than he should have said something. (I'm pretty sure) Spoke stopped exploiting once Jamato said not to, or at least was planning too. AND YET? I know he disappeared to protect Spoke from Ash, but once Ash was gone? Even before that? Couldn't there have been better ways to protect Spoke? And even then, he was obsessed with Spoke. Constantly watching him, observing him, couldn't he just have stayed?

Jamato haunted Spoke. Mapicc was never anything except a replacement for what Jamato had been to him, someone who would follow Spoke almost unconditionally despite anything and everything. Minute- Minute was something to Spoke but it was still never enough, not enough for him to stay. If Spoke really did know where Minute was, why didn't he go to him? I think it's cause Spoke didn't know he could. He feels abandoned by Minute, abandoned by everyone really (even if he pushed some of them away himself). And those feelings started with Jamato. It was always Jamato, in the end.

And then he came back. And then he came back, once Spoke was already in a bad place. Ash ruined him mentally, Jamato ruined him mentally, and everyone else? They were just repeats. It was what Jamato and Ash did that really hurt him, that broke his bones and never healed them right.

I suppose it's time to talk about Ash then. Because while I do think Jamato has so much of the blame, Ash is one of the biggest reasons why Spoke turned out the way he did.

It was Ash's actions, Ash's lust for power, Ash is what Spoke is becoming. And you know, we still don't know who Ash was before the Invis Mafia. Ash himself said (something like) "the backstory I have for [uu!ash] justifies everything". Who's to say he wasn't another 'hero' like Spoke, wanting to be the hero of everyone's stories, yet slowly learning that a heroes story always ends in tragedy?

I don't think I need to talk about Null Arc. We know what happens. I've posted about it before. (Null is kindaa what got me back into UU LMAO)

I guess what I've been getting at is Jamato is what created Spoke, and while Ash is part of what shaped him (one of the biggest parts), Jamato is what cast him into the mold, cracked his heart and fractured his soul into shards of glass and blood. They're just so fucking interesting man.

And I mean, the only one of them that wasn't a liar was Ash. Because for everything he did, at least Ash was honest about himself, about the world. He didn't waste time deluding himself into believing that he wasn't the villain. He knowingly shaped Spoke, knowing full well what exactly he was doing. Jamato? Still lying to himself even now.

Alsooooooo I promise this is one of the last things I'm saying BUT. Jamato is the reason Spoke is waging war on everyone else, if only in a material way. This was the army he decided to make his own, the army that Jamato found and sent after Spoke, alerting him to their existence. He should have known, in the end. He documented everything after all, he knew how each and every tyrant fell! And yet, and yet he believed he was different. Pride? Ego? Does it matter, when the outcome was the same? If only he hadn't let himself be consumed, than he wouldn't have created another Mafia.

Except for one thing that sets Spoke apart from the Mafia, but I'll talk about that in a seperate post cause this is already getting really long lol

The creation rebels against his creator, in the end becoming exactly what his creator made him out to be, and yet the creator believes it was inevitable. And maybe it was, inevitable. Maybe this was always meant to happen. But not because of Spoke, no. Because of Jamato, cause of Ash. It was always these two, in the end, that made this bed. Ash lied in it, while Jamato tried to break it, but it resulted in the inevitability that is Spoke. Spoke may have always been meant to become the villain, because he is what happens when you break someone and expect them to heal exactly how you want them too, and not how you expect them too.

Oh and, I know Spoke has ruined his own life considerably. BAT was all his own actions, post-mafia was definitely all his own actions. However, this is what he was made into. Lemme tell you this, if someone like Wemmbu didn't have Egg or Minute or anyone like that to rely on? I think that he'd have reacted quite similarly. In fact, that already happened no? With Minute and Egg both trapped in the End, with nothing but his own mind and the need to prove himself worth staying... well that's when the 'strongest' arc happened. And I'm oh-so-interested in how Spoke keeps on showing off what he's doing to Jamato, to prove himself in-front of Jamato even when tactically it's not a good move. Interesting, no?

I SWEAR TO THE VOID ITSELF THAT JAMATO'S DEFINING TRAITS ARE AVOIDANCE AND SIMILARLY TO SPOKE, LYING TO HIMSELF ABOUT HIS ACTIONS.

HE'S NOT GOING TO SEE HIMSELF IN THE WRONG.

IN AT LEAST HOW I INTERPRET HIS CHARACTER, HE SEEMS TO BELIEVE HIS ACTIONS TO BE NECESSARY. WHY WOULD HE ADMIT TO HIS ACTIONS BEING WRONG IF THEY'RE TO PREVENT A MONSTER? WHY WOULD HE ADMIT TO NOT BEING THE HERO IF HE'S TRYING TO PROTECT EVERYONE?

IF HE'S THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, WHO CONTROLS EVERYTHING, THEN NO ONE CAN BECOME WHAT HE FEARS. IF MAYBE HE CAN JUST MAKE HIS BEST FRIEND SEE THE PATH THIS IS LEADING HIM HE'LL CHANGE, HE'LL SEE HOW HIS ACTIONS ARE LEAVING HIM RUINED, HOW HE'S JUST HURTING THOSE HE LOVES.

BUT HE CANNOT SEE THAT HE'S DOING THE EXACT SAME THING HE FEARS. HE CANNOT SEE THAT HE IS ALSO AT FAULT. HE IS BLINDED BY HIMSELF.

HE IS HIS OWN WORST ENEMY AND THE CREATOR OF HIS OWN DESTRUCTION. HE DOES NOT SEE IN THE MIRROR THAT HE REFLECTS THE VERY THING HE FOUGHT SO HARD TO PREVENT. HE CANNOT SEE THAT HAD HE GONE ABOUT THINGS DIFFERENTLY, THAT HAD HE MADE DIFFERENT CHOICES, THAT THINGS MAYBE WOULD HAVE NOT ENDED OUT THIS WAY.