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It feels like I’m just waiting for everything to fall apart. I’m just biding time till everyone leaves and nothing works out. I’m so sad.

Oh man, I haven’t been on tumblr in the longest time and its sucky. I dont’r eally know why I came back on today but here I am I guess. I had a phone interview today which wasn’t expected and on Thursday I have an in person one for thge first time in 10 years, which is terrifying. We’ll see how it goes. I start seeing a new physc on Monday too, that’s just as terrifying honestly. It’s been weird talk to someone about my mental health, I always feel like its okay until I open up about it and then I just crumble into a mess of word vomit and tears. It’s hard dating someone who has the worst mental health you’ve seen and you don’t know where yours stands in comparison. I just wish I felt comfortable talking about my own problems more to real people in my life. But for now a stranger will do I guess. Who knows. This is weird, tumblr is back? I always just come here when things are bad and I feel bad and sad. So this isn’t a good sign I guess.

I feel so forgotten and unimportant to those around me. If I succeed or fail it won’t matter, if I’m sad and struggling it doesn’t matter. I feel so insignificant.

I’m not doing so great. All I want to eat is popcorn or KitKat chunky’s. I want to be in bed.