ad astra

I used to go to this one gas station a lot with my Grandma, usually every Thursday after school. When I switched schools, I stopped going. And then one day, a week or two later, my grandma comes in and says “The employee at the gas station asked where you’ve been. He was worried.”

@lymeandcoconut

#lmaooooo #my fave is that episode of white collar where neil is doing a theft #and the music they play over it is leporello's 'here's the list of all the hundreds of women my boss has fucked' aria from don giovanni #it's supposed to just sound grand and sophisticated but the guy is singing about how DG fucks tall women short women #fat women skinny women princesses and peasants he fucks them all! #and here's the numbers broken down by nationality! #he's fucked over 1000 women in spain you know!

Dracula season... it beckons......

(Alts and dress ref ⬇)

it’s about growing up, leaving home, building a life elsewhere, and realizing that return doesn’t restore anything—it only reveals what’s been shifted. the buildings are still there, your old haunts are still there, the people still recognizable, the past still intact in its own way, but something in the way you meet it has changed. you have changed, and in that change, no longer fit in the same way.

what the album keeps circling is not any one moment, but an accumulation: missed conversations that never fully reopen, relationships that continue but subtly drift, versions of yourself that still surface in memory but no longer really exist in the present tense. a yawning gap that forms not in rupture, but in time.

and layered underneath that is something sharper: the way separation isn’t just geographical or relational, but expressive. the voice itself changes. what you want to say doesn’t come out the same anymore—filtered through distance and everything that has happened in between. life lived apart. time that has left everything slightly out of sync with itself.

and so even the attempt to reach becomes something else: not return, but translation. not closure, but articulation across a space that no longer guarantees being heard properly—at all like before.

time doesn’t heal all. success doesn’t overwrite where you came from. leaving doesn’t undo what you still carry. it just changes what you’re able to access, and what only exists now as something you can look at but not step back into.

what emerges is separation as lived condition: the strange experience of loving what you no longer fully belong to, of still recognizing who you were without being able to become that version of yourself again—a version that once fit here, without question.

BIG NEWS: we now have a fourth PC at the table.

The Patreon-exclusive fireside chat for Ep. 1 of Solari is out NOW!

Ylfa Snorgelsson as Roman Girl at a Fountain (by Léon Bonnat) for Mirror Image: A Dimension 20 Exhibition and this year’s @d20zinejam. I had a ton of fun making this study and I could easily sink another several hours into adding more texture and detail. Thanks so much to Elin @voxphantasma and Charli @charlilil for running this zine!

You can support Dimension 20 Zine Jam and check out the 68 zines we made last month here! The bundle is raising money for United Nations' Occupied Palestinian Territory Humanitarian Fund.