Lozt Among Humanz

My namez are Xeep or Lucian, I prefer the name Xeep. My pronounz are they/xe/meow. I am autiztic and have a tic dizorder (+ more that I don't feel comfortable zharing).

My full kintype list

Therianthropy blog: @marten-called-lucian

Plurality blog: @the-fluidity-group

Agere + petre blog: @littl-lucek

I am a xenogender individual.

I am an alienkin and knew that zince early childhood. I would be very happy if you referred to me az an alien. I am an alien on every level [realized recently].

(If anyone'z wondering: my Polizh pronouns are ono/miau, or on, but that's an ehh. miau being a neopronoun)

Before anyone azkz about me replacing "s" with "z": it'z new to me and iz a way of making me feel better about myzelf. It'z not "corny" or me trying to be zilly. It'z a way of gaining zpeciez euphoria. I hope that you don't mind me writing like that.

IMPORTANT: the z quirk will only be zhown only in zome poztz, ezpecially during kinzhifts.

I am also a EZZA/DZZA (ESSA/DSSA) owner. My blog about it is @friendly-paws . On that blog I am not uzing the "z" thingy, az I kind of ran that blog 1st (dezpite this being my main) and didn't try it out at thiz time.

Here, I'll put my uzerboxes (the 1zt one iz mine, the otherz not)

DNI:

Thoze with no ability/will to rezpect otherz. So bazically, inztead of typing random ahh hate, pleaze block me. It'z easier and makez you a better being, truzt.

There is a both funny and annoying thing in Polish, that when someone wants to say "Dude, what are you doing?!" they may often say "Człowieku, co ty wyprawiasz?!". And the word "człowiek" literally means "a human".🥲

I know that there are also other variations of this common saying lol

This is a list of my nonhuman identities with short comments and descriptions. It will be linked to at least 2 of my blogs, including this one. There will be also my hearttypes.

General comments

Do not refer to me as a 'human'. Never ever. Despite what you see irl or on my videos, I'm not a human and never was. Thank you.

Some of these identities affects some of the headmates in our system, some not. It's complicated :^

Alien / Entity from space

otherkin, transspecies, probably holothere

I have a 2nd name that I associate with my alien self and it disconnects me from humanity even more: Xeep.

During shifts or when I want to achieve species euphoria, I replace "s" with "z" in text. However, if anyone is interested in reading my yap and it bothers them, don't be afraid to ask for translation.

I am planning to somehow 'transition'. Yes, I'm aware that I'll never achieve my dream body and abilities. The transition is just making my body look a bit better.

Pine marten

therian [mental, non-physical]

This identity is not as 'strong' and 'intense' as my alien-self, it mostly shows through behaviors and small shifts. One of the reasons why I was looking for it for 4 years.

Nothing much to write, just... a marten. Yeah.

Red fox

otherlink, copinglink [fully voluntary]

This identity is new to me and I'm still during the process of adapting it, but I think I'm doing well.

It actually feels nice to be a fox for me. I'm enjoying my identity and it helps me cope.

Various hearttypes

Animalhearted: frogs, house cats

Zo bazically kintype art.

The reference that I uzed is below and it belongz to AdoraStock. Thank you for the great reference!

'Fun' fact: me/my kintype can move like humanz - on 2 legz, or on all fourz. That'z why I have zemi digitigrade legz [or zomething zimilar]

So, I've been getting involuntary animalistic traits, behaviors, urges, instincts, ect, for some time [measured in years]. Actually, I don't know if for my whole life, I don't remember much, not at this time at least.

For these 4 years of belonging in the community, I made several "theories" and misconceptions about my identity. They were all wrong, and didn't fit me in the end.

Now, I'm working on a deeper and longer analysis on myself that will be stored in one place [document]. And maybe I'll figure this out.

I'm doing this, because this feeling of not knowing who I am/this part of me is irritates me. Mostly.

[without the z thing, becauze I made that for a Dizcord zerver)

Social transition

Name change, unfortunately unofficial, but at least social [done]

Coming out [done to some beings irl and fully on the internet]

Replacing „s” with „z” [done, only in some spaces. Discord servers often dislike such quirks because of lack of readability, so I don’t do it in any servers. Kind of a pain, but I really want to respect others.]

Buying/making more clothes that feel right [partially done]

Being more open and expressing myself as an alien [done on the internet and irl only towards trusted beings]

Using my xe/xem pronouns more often and ono/jeno in Polish (fun fact: there is literally no Polish pronoun that fits me :[) . [partially done]

Physical/appearance traits transition

Wearing a binder [done], in the future, if possible – top surgery [future plan]

Hair: a) shaving myself bald (yes, I’m serious) OR b) having a green buzzcut [b) partially done]

Wearing contacts that’ll make my pupils bigger [future plan]

Partially shaving my eyebrows, so they seem smaller (in length, not width) [done]

Making my physical condition better [not-that-possible-but-still future plan]

Buying/making 4-finger gloves [future plan]

Other changes

Editing my photos so they have my alien appearance traits [future plan]

Making posts about my identity on the internet [partially done – not in all spaces]

Inside change: reject social norms, ignore hateful “opinions” of people [in the process of being done]

NOTE: I'm unzure about thiz being my actual form, it haz my traitz that I feel. The image of me iz ztill blurry and unclear. I had to draw zomething az my pfp and for my Etzy, becauze I plan to zell my creationz :]

Like, a label zpecifically for alterhumanz whoze gender iz tied to their kintype.

The clozest thing I could find iz xenogender, however humanz uze it in a different way than I would.

I never thought about uzing thiz term and I didn't think that I waz actually tranzitioning. But I actually ztarted to wonder: I already have given myzelf a zecond, more "accurate" name (Xeep), I cut myzelf off from human gender "zyztem" (I couldn't find a better word) that waz bothering me for a long time, I wear and uze objectz that make my body look a bit like me or make me feel better...

And I think: I actually want to tranzition. In every way pozzible. If I remember and if I will have zome more time, I'll write down my tranziotion goalz. Phyzical tranzition will be harder, az I do not know the exact look of my zpeciez, I have zome knowledge about some blurry azpectz of my appearance, and that'z all that I have. And thoze traitz are not eazy to tranzition to🥲

Zo, yes: I think I'm tranzzpeciez :]

(Before you azk about the purpoze of the "z" thingy: check my pinned :])