Am alive. Which is nice

For most nautralized Mantises, their daily lives are defined by struggle. The prejudice and hate aimed towards their kind has still persisted over the years despite the several movements for their civil rights and nearly every Mantis has to deal with the weight of it hanging heavy on their shoulders.

Ash is not most Mantises, and was lucky enough to be born with a shimmering and colorful body, trademark of an Iridescent Bark Mantis, and not only that, but also to be born with the colors both examples of the sexual dimorphism in their species, the oddity of which caught the intrigue of the public, and put them on the newspapers.

This would define their life, for better or for worse, and they were looked upon not as a person, but a work of art. Something to be admired and gawked at rather than being seen as a living being. It was very objectifying, and brought considerable frustration to them. Ash always wanted to make friends and be understood as an individual, but as people pulled them aside while out in public to deal them a barrage of the same annoying and invasive questions Ash had always hated, they also pushed them away at the same time. They always told Ash about how "beautiful" and "pretty they are, but with a look that made them feel like they were being judged by some sort of critic. Everyone "looked" at them, but no one ever truly "saw" them.

Ash is not most Mantises, in the sense that they do not suffer from hate, but rather they suffered from the self image issues brought upon them by endless objectification, and they wouldn't ever even at least use their name. It was a very different kind of Hell. A unique form of torture that made Ash curl up in bed every night wondering what they did to deserve this.

They rarely saw any other Mantises, for they had all gathered in one place general area in the city, a place Ash wasn't allowed to go, for their "beauty" might be "tarnished." People would speak ill of Mantises right to Ash's face. It was isolating, every time they left the house they did their best to ignore the stares, pretend not to hear the calls, just wanting to get to where they wanted to go without any trouble. Eventually, this behavior led to a new sort of reputation around the city, they had built up a mysterious and enigmatic character. Then, new questions began to get asked, something Ash noticed quickly. It was now that they stopped answering people and now that they stopped trying to be seen as more than just a "work of art" that people had begun to ask them WHO they were, what their life was like. The irony was not lost on them.

Ash felt relieved at first, and was about to answer the crowd, when a new thought crossed their mind. Why would these people deserve to know them now when they never seemed to care before? It just felt so insincere, so hypocritical, so INFURIATING! Ash wouldn't tell them a thing now, and they can deal with it. Everytime someone walked up to them with inquires into their nature, Ash simply swung their head with a scoff. Depriving them of their answers felt so good.

One day, while marching through the streets with a haughty air about them that suggested superiority, yet another voice called out. Ash was about to continue on their way when whoever it was spoke again.

"Ash. That's your name, right? How are you today honey?" Ash stopped, this was the first time someone addressed them by name in a public setting. Turning around slowly, and tried to maintain disinterest despite the shock. Before them stood a Rosy Maple Moth, whom Ash recognized as Periboia. A celebrity this time, that's new, Ash thought.

"And what could you possibly need me for?" Ash spoke attempting to drench their words with as disdain as they could.

"That was a rather sad attempt at sass dear, you could certainly use some more practice before you try to use that level of venom in your words again. Besides, that particular retort is rather tired, don't you think? There IS potential here, however, I could help refine that tongue of yours if you'd like, how does that sound?"

Ash was taken aback. They tried to remember the last time someone actually talked back rather than brushing them off. They couldn't even be mad, this was the only instance Ash could remember where someone actually engaged them in a meaningful conversation rather than what felt like an interrogation. Ash realized how sad this whole thing was, this was the first time someone was actually talking with them. A feeling began to bud within their chest, a bit of melancholy reflection on the misery festering in their heart.

Picking up on this, Periboia continued. "Now now, I know what's running through your head right now, I've seen that look before. Come, why don't we go back to my place and you can let this weight off away from prying eyes, these people have no right to see you at your most vulnerable."

"What would you know about what I'm thinking," Ash spat, "you don't know anything about me or what I've been through." Even as they said it, Ash could feel the dam they built around their heart cracking. Their chest heaved hard with all the weight of their sorrow. They had buried these feelings long ago, haven't they? So why are they still feeling them, it's not fair.

"But you have been through a lot, haven't you?" Ash fell silent.

"...Yeah." Ash hung their head somberly.

"So you finally admit it, hm? About time."

"Why are you doing this? I never asked you to do this to me, why are you-"

"Because I care, Ash. I do."

"Why? You've never met me, whatever happens to me doesn't affect you in any way, so why?"

"Because no one should have to go through what you have, and I do know what you've dealt with. For better or for worse, humans are quite the gossipers."

"So... you can help me? You can make me feel better?" Ash nearly choked on their words, "I don't have to feel this way anymore? Can I..." Ash trailed off, the emotions stopping their words.

"Yes."

That one word was enough. "Let's go then."

When they arrived back at Periboia's home and settled down, the dam finally broke. For hours and hours Ash recounted everything that has tormented them their whole life. Everything, every last woe and sorrow, all of it. After all was said and done Ash went limp, gasping for air. Periboia had remained silent and attentive throughout the entire rant, and nodded thoughtfully, taking it all in.

"So, I have an offer for you, if you're interested." Ash sat back up immediately, answering Periboia without a single word spoken. "So here's the details..."

Afterwords, Ash was speechless. A fashion model? Why would they want to be that? Being oggled was what drove them to this misery, so why would they want more? Ash thought hard on this, and considered their options, and their eyes widened. Fame has power, it has influence, it can sway the publics opinion. A Mantis having that power... that could be the key. Ash understood that while Mantises still suffered from prejudice that Ash would never be able to be respected in the way they wanted to. The only reason why they didn't deal with the same hatred other Mantises do was because of they were "prettier" than most, but they were still a Mantis, still seen as lesser, as a thing... but maybe, if a Mantis had a voice that people would be more willing to listen to... that could be the ticket to true equality in the eyes of the many.

Ash suddenly cackled, "Periboia you scheming little worm, you were looking forward to this moment, weren't you?" Periboia answered with a smile. "So...?"

"I'm in."

Periboia's face lit up, "Wonderful! I know a guy that can help get you set up with something that suits you, in fact, he's already here, let me introduce you two... his name's Kalla, have you ever heard of him?"

"He's that fuzzball that works for that Lenora chick, right?"