dying to be delicate

I had 2 stuffed pretzels the 16th and nothing but liquids yesterday. I just ate for the first time today (mac n cheese) and then I purged it up. Now I'm worried I didn't purge enough of it up... i mean I'm certainly not expecting nothing to be in my stomach but I'm just hoping I got enough of it up that it won't matter how much I ate. I'm not hungry anymore, which was the goal of the purge bc I knew I couldn't keep fasting for long, but I'm afraid I'm gonna eat more food and won't be able to get it out. I REALLY hate wasting food (ironic and hypocritical, I know) and so thats why I even bothered thinking about eating. Someone made me this mac n cheese so I couldn't eat none of it before throwing it out... and I cooked food a few days ago that needs to be eaten... its like I'm eating as a chore to feel less bad about all the food I'm not eating... aha

...tbh my heads full of too much static to even begin describing what thats doing to me rn