It's too hot for this Jersey

personally my first guess as to how joker got his scars would be from smiling too big. but maybe that's my dreamer's heart

okay i’m done with off season now. let’s watch hockey let’s watch hockey let’s watch hockey. play hockey so i can watch it and you do new things and i can watch it and and and and

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

Divorced dads will date varieties of women you had no idea existed, new breeds of people you have not encountered in your entire life. My mom’s boyfriends? Norm McNormalson. Sitcom caricatures of stepdads. A nerdy high school English teacher, the quintessential Appalachian farmboy, an anesthesiologist who was way more into her than she was into him. My dad’s girlfriends were the type of people you could only fathom existing as sitcom side characters. I’m not sure if it’s because the only women who would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him had to be profoundly psychologically disturbed beforehand or if he was the force that pushed these poor ladies over the edge but I never knew the energy of the house I would be walking into during my summer visitation. He had one girlfriend I liked. One single girlfriend who was cool and chill and he broke up with her because she was older than him and smarter than him and he didn’t like that.

"All pagans should have to believe X" Oh, you want universal neopagan orthodoxy, do you? Should we have a neopagan Council of Nicaea about it? Should we print catechisms? Should we punish people for not conforming to your orthodoxy?

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

Everyone except JD Vance of course.

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber