GOODBYE TO MARY SUNSHINE !

i think the idea that she really could be anything she wanted to be is very much lost on mary until post-canon. pre-canon i think mary believes and has come to terms with the idea of being a very stereotypical 50s housewife. i think there were definitely aspects of her life that involved dreaming about her future (im often thinking about her reaction to ralph saying “[the smoke is] all the rage in paris” in the film) i think the idea of travel is always a romantic idea in mary’s mind, and especially regarding paris — the city of love. i think with mary love is the key — it’s what makes her do anything and everything we see her do in the show/film. mary’s life may fall apart in the pursuit of love, but she never gives up on love. even her last dying words are to find out if love persevered and won in the end, and while Yet Again mary is lied to in this moment, it’s a lie that needed to happen. upon discovering that love won and romeo and juliet ended up happy mary is content, she dies with a smile and her last words proclaim that she’s happy that she got to experience the same love. 

so back on topic, i think the main dream mary has ever had is true, pure love. to be in love with someone and to love every part of them and for someone to do the same thing for her. i think if she’d been given more freedom she definitely could’ve had big dreams, likely around singing or dancing, but she’s entirely content with those things just being hobbies when she feels she loves someone and is loved in return. as cliche as it may sound, mary really is entirely content with love in her life and would be fine with everything else being horrible as long as they’re in love. she’s ready to run away with jimmy at a moments notice, living her life on the run from the law and helping him fix his mistakes because she’s so in love with him and it’s clear he loves her just as deeply considering he leaves without her, refusing to drag her down to his level. 

i will admit that the majority of this is coming from my modern day new zealand catholic upbringing, so i’m entirely unsure of exactly how much this pertains to mary’s american upbringing and we’re going to ENTIRELY SKIP the fact that based strictly on canon mary was raised in like. the 1920s because i’m not looking back at what songs are from that era. so anyway, mary’s big favorite jams:

OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD. top tier jam, my personal favorite because its just super fun and bubbly. mary loves it undoubtedly for the same reason, but definitely also thinks that describing god as ‘awesome’ is about as on the nose as it gets. definitely sings ‘awesome’ to mean awe inspiring and not just the way people use awesome in everyday use, but by extension of her love for this song the word awesome itself has a much heavier meaning than it does for people generally. she uses the word awesome only for things that she truly finds awe inspiring and incredible. but that’s a meta for another day.

AMAZING GRACE. she loves this one, especially in her post-canon verses. i mean ‘Amazing grace / How sweet the sound / That saved a wretch like me / I once was lost, but now I'm found / Was blind, but now I see’ very much gives mary recovering from what happened in canon and regaining her faith and finding her sense of self again. it’s a lot more solemn than O.G.I.A.A.G which tends to be something that mary doesn’t tend to drift towards pre-canon, but amazing grace i think is a classic that everyone really gets into.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE. a classic, iconic jam. mary’s go-to self-assurance banger, a fun and light song that she’ll turn to when she’s feeling shaky in her sense of self. it’s a feel good anthem that has gotten her through a lot, and is especially crucial in her time recovering from canon. it’s a big part of getting her strength back and feeling assured in herself afterwards.

AWAY IN A MANGER. mary loves this one, but it is a sadder quieter song that she doesn’t tend to bust out for fun. it’s a good strong classic, but it makes her sad to think too hard about.

CHRIST THE LORD IS RISEN TODAY. it’s upbeat, it’s got repetition, it’s a strength song. what else can i say. it’s a certified classic.

HARK! THE HERALD ANGELS SING. a fun one, a peppy little christmas banger, i used to have a little christmas tree ornament that was a scroll held by an angel and the scroll had the lyrics to this in it. not at all related to mary, that’s just a fun little tidbit about why i think its a banger. but mary definitely vibes to this every christmas move over mariah

HOLY, HOLY, HOLY. another classic, another that’s probably me projecting onto mary. idk i always loved this one so mary does too i dont make the rules

MY REDEEMER LIVES. this one. this ones a Certified Banger. an absolute favorite of mine and a favorite of mary’s too. the chorus is just a bunch of fun and (at least when we sang it at my school) comes with a fun wee clapping thing. a whole little ‘my redeemer lives 👏👏 my redeemer lives! (x2)’ and it was a whole fun little time and mary would absolutely LOVE that shit she’d have so much fun. plus post-canon there’s the very fun lyrics of ‘i know he rescued my soul’ and ‘my shame, he’s taken away’ and those lyrics followed by proclamations of belief? that’s huge vibes of mary returning to her faith after the worst parts of her life and becoming full in her beliefs again.

OF THE FATHERS LOVE BEGOTTEN. oh another certified jam. it’s not a full on bop but it’s not sad boy hours either, and mary absolutely loves it. once again it becomes a symbol of her proclamation of faith when she finds herself at peace again at the end of her story, once again proclaiming her love and acknowledgement towards god and his awesome power. it’s one she loves a lot