Just trying not to get lost

Dou Zhao's father not only very obviously betrayed his first wife to serve his own desires; but also mistreated his mother for her leaving an abusive marriage, which is influenced by his father and brother's belief in men's entitlement at the expense of women's safety. He loses his daughter's respect because he does nothing to protect her from the long-term abuse and schemes of his second wife and brother, as he sees DZ largely as an extension of his own regret and shame over her mother's suicide. Him cheating with Ying Xue while he is in the capital taking the scholar's exam ties together his political ambitions with his carelessness as a father/husband.

He disregards the ways his second wife Ying Xue sacrificed her reputation in order to provide for her family, which only further sours their relationship and reinforces her hatred of DZ. Ying Xue's genuine love and desire for him is merely a reflection of his own guilt and shame.

While his and DZ's relationship improves, it is only when he makes committed decisions that prioritize the rights of others over trying to avoid the emotional consequences of his mistakes - depicted by his beating the drum for Song Mo towards the end, choosing the truth over his own reputation.

By dehumanizing women in the narrative, the men of the show feel justified in exploiting, discarding, controlling, and failing them.

Wei Ting Yu is perhaps the best example of this concept - in his first life, he not only degrades his relationship with Dou Zhao by cheating with her sister, but actively participates in a campaign to have her framed and murdered. The justification for this is simply that he resents her capability, and does not have romantic feelings for her - therefore, she ceases to matter as a human being. In his second life, he is less scheming but still dooms both himself and Ming through his constant centering of his own desires and comfort.

Scene after scene depicts his inability to follow through and act with consideration for the object of his romantic intentions. He refuses to complete the hunt, which despite charming Ming on the surface, foreshadows his inability to provide for a family if it is at all uncomfortable. He gives Ming the gold knot and states they could die together if they can't live together - something that we see her actually use to attempt suicide, while he simply mopes his way through his wedding - at least until it's revealed that it is Ming, and not Dou Zhao who completed the ceremony. Ming's courage at stealing her sister's intended husband (unwanted though he was) is not matched by WTY in any way.

When Ming suffers a miscarriage and is contemplating divorce, his apologies still have a self-absorbed flavor - slapping himself in the face and begging her to reconsider, despite being well aware that their options are either poverty or resigning Ming to more abuse at the hands of her sister-in-law. Ming's grief, exhaustion, and pain is secondary to his own desire to ensure she remains his wife.

Despite all of the love he claims to have for Ming, WTY continues to selfishly prioritize his own interests and ego - which not only dooms Ming, but denizens of the city and, in the end, himself.

Song Yi Chun is a more straightforward example - literally discarding, aka murdering, his wife and daughter to uplift the son and woman he truly wanted to be with. He abuses and attempts to frame/murder Song Mo, simply because SM is the son of a woman who was better off dead to him. He considers DZ initially as simply another tool to torture his son with; and, later, a threat due to her rumored pregnancy. The fact his misdeeds are revealed through the testimony of a traumatized maidservant, someone to whom he would never spare a single thought, reinforces the theme of uplifting marginalized voices (a mentally ill working class woman) in order for the happy ending to be possible. Song Yi Chun depicts a dangerous level of entitlement - his wife and her children are inconvenient, and so they are all his to abuse and discard at will.

Song Han inherits his father's beliefs in the worst possible way; initially passive (he asks his father not to let the bandits into DZ's side of the house, but notably refuses to attempt to warn or rescue her), he becomes deeply entitled to the idea of an upper-class position upon the revelation of his true parentage. His request of the Emperor to marry the princess is not outrageous simply because of their class divide, but in that he sees the marriage only in a manner in which he can benefit, with the feelings, personality, and desires of the woman involved to be irrelevant. Miao Ansu being made an honorary princess for the purpose of being his bride demonstrates the ease with which women's roles are defined, and redefined, for the political and social benefit of the male characters.

Song Han takes control of the relationship in many ways, including determining which of her financially abusive family lives or dies, never considering her own thoughts and feelings on the matter. He kisses her suddenly and aggressively. He manipulates her friendship with DZ and physically abuses her, never taking full responsibility over blaming it on paranoia. However, Miao Ansu ends the show by resetting the power dynamic - by taking Song Han's life and allying herself with Dou Zhao. Song Han's claim of love is irrelevant to the ways he has betrayed her.

Notably, Song Han's physical abuse of Ansu is mirrored as Song Mo's worst fear, a vision used to torture him - the idea of harming Dou Zhao. Of all the men in Blossom, Song Mo is the hero because of his consistency in humanizing the women in the show.

Song Mo and Dou Zhao's first encounter in the show, when he is at his most inhuman and yet still comes to her, a stranger's aid, marks feminism as a core value that makes him a hero character. The weapon he carries is his mother's. Saving his uncle's newborn child, at the request of his aunt, is worth risking his and many others' lives for. In an underrated moment, he accurately depicts her handwriting to not only mimic her being forced to use her non-dominant hand, but the character she uses to reference her beloved mother's name - because she is a person who has grieved and sacrificed in ways that so many people don't notice. That's a layer of understanding, of romance, that completely outpaces Wei Ting Yu watching Ming stare at a butterfly.

To protect Dou Zhao from a forced marriage does not mean marrying her himself, but giving her the choice and power to never marry at all. Dou Zhao's happiness, and her future, is a separate thing from his own - unless she decides that the two should be connected.