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okay so i was guarding a part of my facility where there’s basketball hoops above the water for people to shoot balls in. 

no big deal. 

except today 

out of NOWHERE 

this asdfghjkl BALL 

hits me in the fire-trucking FACE. 

i, understandably am confused. 

i look to my coworker. 

she’s laughing at me. whatever. i don’t care. it’s not like i gave her a tofu sandwich a meet manager gave me. 

ungrateful. 

but anyway. 

i continue my route along the side of the pool. 

i reach the end of my routine, and this man.

let me take a moment to describe this man

he looks late forties to early fifties, and has a neon green mohawk, a ton of piercings, and tatoos galore. for the sake of accuracy, we’re gonna call him punk-rock mohawk.

so punk-rock mohawk rises from the waters like an emo jesus.

arms open, he envelopes my in a wet hug and whispers ever so softly: