Carver Hawke

demons don't make promises.

we just closed the shop.

ok. i'll be right there.

i hate fish.

you bugs better run before i bite your heads off!

i'm ready.

you've done enough work.

i know how to help you now.

just shut up.

i can't live like this.

as soon as this war is over, i shall return.

wait a second, you're all gonna eat while i do all the work?

i'm fatter than ever, yet the wind blows right through me.

it's gorgeous!

i'll look forward to your return, big boy.

don't come in here.

i'm sick of being treated like some timid little old lady.

i feel terrible, like there's a weight on my chest.

you see? your moustache scares all the girls.

i brought you some warm milk. want a sip?

do you know how hard it is to do things when you're old?

i can't believe it's come to this.

i've never once been beautiful in my entire life!

tell me what's happening.

hey, i'm over here.

i was in big trouble back there.

i'd appreciate it if you didn't torment my friend.

are you hurt?

i actually like living here.

i've got a bad cold, i don't want you to catch it.

i'm sure you have some kind of spell on you.

i want to know what you want.

can you lead me to him?

i'm afraid you will have to leave now.

that is not what i meant when i asked for a place to stay.

now whatever you do, don't look down.

how did you get to be so kind?

i never should have let her in here.

all our fish were caught fresh this morning.

don't worry. he only preys on pretty girls.

i'm just setting things up so that all of you can live a comfortable life.

i see no point in living if i can't be beautiful.

you're so eloquent today.

be gentle with me, please.

that's so strange.

what possessed you to let them in the house?

if you'd like to do me one more favor...

thank goodness you're here!

you girls are so mean.

i have this weird feeling that you're going to leave.

you ok? i mean, you smell terrible.

don't hold it against them, they're actually not all that bad.

some big help you're gonna be.

you live around here?

don't worry, i can cook.

i can't stand how scared i am.

i searched everywhere for you!

oh, no, i'm not lost.

i just need a glass of water.

you promise to help me if i help you?

leave me alone.

no, he's fine. he's just throwing a tantrum.

you'll forgive me, won't you?

that's good to know.

i know where i am.

i can't remember the last time we had a real breakfast.

i am strictly forbidden to offer such assistance.

what time do you get off?

so, you are going away?

my own kind attacked me today.

he's acting like a big baby.

i can't do this.

we have to try something.

you should go home anyway and tell your king to stop this dumb war.

i can't do it by myself.

let's get a better look.

hey, don't worry. the ring that i gave you will guide you back home.

i've never seen the ocean before! it's beautiful!

it's not funny.

go away! quit following me!

i've had enough of this place!

you've been sighing all day.

here. want some more?

strapping, young men are so difficult to deal with.

you get back here right now!

sometimes he likes to go away for days on end.

i love you. you have to stay.

do i look ok?

need anything else?

i can be of help to you.

you're gonna have a very hard time getting rid of that one.

someone's got a fire going.

i feel so at home.

you are so lucky.

are you in pain?

you were alone?

i was so thrilled to have finally found someone talented enough to replace me.

i have to rest a bit.

are we going for a stroll?

i did what i was told.

i'm not trying to outwit you.

don't you love early morning markets?

i'll stand guard out front.

wait, you can't come up here!

too bad i'm not younger, or i'd lend you a hand.

we can do this, just act natural.

have you ever been in love before?

do you have a kettle?

only idiots believe what they read in the paper.

i've never seen it so close!

it's time to put an end to this idiotic war.

just go inside, go to bed.

he doesn't need your help.

i barely recognize the place.

now i'm too scared to go out!

gross. i feel sick.

didn't i teach you better?

you really want it that badly?

i'm too old to be treated like this!

i don't care if you're a monster.

you must be tired.

hey. looks like a little mouse lost its way.

what a handsome man.

i kind of missed you guys.

it's your life, do something for yourself for once, will you?

do you really want to spend the rest of your life in that hat shop?

what? i can't fly,

thought i'd drop by rather than sit through a dull war meeting.

you're beautiful!

now i'm repulsive.

i could have sworn i locked that door.

what a tacky shop.

i'm afraid the king would find him completely useless.

you are a natural.

i hate potatoes.

i love it when you talk like that.

there's no need to thank me, you don't owe me a thing.

curses are tough.

are you crazy? i can't move

you're killing yourself.

i told you it would collapse.

what a dump.

it looks like your true love is in love with someone else.

how would you like a bucket of cold water in your face?

what do you think?

maybe there's a cabin nearby.

don't look at me.

what if i dump a bucket of water on you?

who are your guests?

let's go, girls.

i think you and i need to have a nice, long, heart-to-heart chat.

you're by far the tackiest thing here.

quit bothering me, i've got a job to do.

i didn't mean to make you wait this long.

it wasn't a dream.

come on in, it's time to eat!

look what you've done to my hair!

you've got quite a nasty spell on you too.

he's gone.

pay up.

there you are, sweetheart. sorry i'm late.

i don't know what's gonna happen, but i'm sure it won't be good.

i'm not taking any orders from you.

i'm gonna take good care of you.

i'd never seen such a gifted student.

are you listening?

i'm tired. make some hot water for my bath.

i am very sorry to hear that.

this charm will guarantee your safe return.

he's such a lazy son,

i'm sick of being stuck out here

it always looks like that.

don't you want to have some bacon and eggs?

what's going on?

what on earth were you up to?

all right. i better get going then.

are you kidding?

it seems everyone in this family's got problems.

how old are you, anyway?

i specifically ordered you not to get carried away!

i've always hated turnips, ever since i was little.

nobody wants to go to war.

she's even cuter when she's scared.

i need some breakfast.

why don't you just give up?

i spent a lot of time here by myself when i was young.

when i think castle, this is not what i picture.

of course he did. he was trying to steal your heart!

i bet he's some kind of demon.

it looks like it's gonna rain.

do you have to keep smoking that?

so. we've got a lot of work to do.

you'd be good at it.

wait for me!

i was looking everywhere for you.

that's my girl.

you need to be more careful.

why did you make me come here if you were coming yourself?

why don't you come out with us this time?

that boy is extremely dangerous.

don't get alarmed, but i'm being followed.

give him a piece of your mind.

i would never work for that witch!

i'm just going to the bakery.

i hope you and your new husband will be very happy.

you look so much older.

if you're a demon, how do i know i can trust you?

i just wanted to make sure that you were doing ok.

that was the most fun i've had in ages.

i got you some new clothes too, but you can open them later.

i missed you.

where are you going?

it's a trap.

if i ever get my hands on that witch, i'm going to wring her fat neck!

where to? i'll be your escort this evening.

i'll just stay in bed all day, so you go on.

you're gonna be fine.

we've got a good lead now.

what did you do?

do you really think i'd let a witch in here?

it's a present for you.

you're being so obedient.

i'm so sorry, but that would be confidential information.

well, the nice thing about being old is you've got nothing much to lose.

what will happen to you?

i better finish this, you go and have fun.

just keep following that light and you should be there before dark.

you're scaring me.

you're in love.

that was really kind.

i had him escort you here.

come on! you should feel sorry for me!

he was so kind to me.

told you we should've stayed put.

i better be going.

he must have been a wizard then.

looks like we have yet another addition to the family.

he's my errand dog.

she keeps staring at me, it's freaking me out.

don't give me that.

it's dangerous out there.

that is one bad curse.

did you hear what happened to that girl?

you obviously don't know what these people are like.

i'm getting angry.

what on earth happened to you?

so then, how are you feeling?

i should really get back to work.

She sits with her arms around her knees, half-emptied bottle on the floor beside her. It’s an unassuming, almost girlish position for Kirkwall’s lost champion to have assumed in her brother’s office, but it’s comfortable enough. And this isn’t a place for her to feel the burden of responsibility. Val’s a little too far gone for that, anyway. 

There’s a long, long pause between Carver’s words and her next. The elder Hawke takes a series of long, drawn out breaths akin to sighs, measured in a way that suggests she’s trying to sober up, or chew on everything he’d just said. 

This is new, she thinks. Honesty – it’s all they have now that they’re the only family they have left. 

Would he be offended if she said his words don’t surprise her? They… they resonate in a way. How are you supposed to reconcile difficult feelings towards somebody who undoubtedly loves you? He tried his best, but for a runaway circle mage, your best is seemingly a limited thing. And it’s funny, Valeria Hawke is so sure she could see her father’s reflection in the eyes of another runaway mage, another person she loved too damn much. 

But these feelings… oh, something sickens in her when she remembers who else she felt them for. Guilt – sickening, with that all too familiar taste of Ferelden ale – might as well swallow her entirely. In a panic, she looks Carver right in the eye, and he’s looking back at her, frustrated. Because she might burst, and he’s spewing his thoughts out like blots of ink on a page. 

Ha. Varric’d like that. Her fractured emotional state results in a giggle, though some mad look remains in her eyes. 

So much for sobering up. 

“I know how you feel,” she says, and it thankfully comes off as sincere. “He loved you, you know. I think he would’ve preferred three little Carvers, actually. Might’ve made his life a lot easier,”

Ah, those words they’d heard together the first time they fought Corypheus. Oh, how he hoped his unborn child – her, in that particular case – wouldn’t have magic. She’d loved her father, and she knows he loved her too but she could always feel his disappointment. Even now, she’s sure she’s letting him down. 

Still, a younger Val might’ve put up a fight to defend the man’s honour. He’s dead anyway, and she knows how hard it was for him, how much work went into keeping his daughters from the circle. 

“Of course it matters. Not like they left us with a lot else. Just the memories and the feelings,”

They. She meant to say he, but the ghost of their mother has a funny way of sticking on her tongue.

╰┈➤ He snorts ---- it's childish and accented by the specks of ale that sputter past his lips, but he can't help it. Three little Carvers? Maker help them all. Still, the point resonates. How badly had their father hoped for a magicless child, only to have two thrust upon them? Their family had been destined for misfortune from the beginning, it would seem. And really...it wasn't his fault. None of it had been. Malcolm Hawke had been dealt a specific hand in life, and he worked to make the best of it.....and for a while, it was indeed the best.

╰┈➤ "He loved you too." he loved them all. "You should have seen him any time you mastered a new skill or spell." blue hues are rolling because he can remember it so clearly. The momentary fear in their fathers' eyes dissipating the moment they landed on Hawke's toothless grin when they had managed to conjure fire. It had made him jealous then. Now?

Now the memory lulls him to sleep on his worst nights.

╰┈➤ "No....they left us with very little." And his voice is so soft, so quiet. It sticks between them, threatens to suffocate the room, really. Carver knows where his sister's mind is wandering----to their mother. He wonders, briefly, if she still shoulders the guilt of mothers death? Perhaps the same way he shoulders Bethany.

If only they had done more. If only they had been faster, stronger, smarter, more capable.

If only they could hang the moon, and snuff out the sun.

If only.

╰┈➤ Carver stands rather abruptly then, more content to focus his attentions on securing them both another drink than lamenting on their dead loved ones. A single massive hand rummages in a drawer of his desk, the wood creaking and groaning as if protesting his intrusion, and he draws forth another bottle, of another vintage. He pours both of them heaping cups, holding one out for her, and it is clear by the look in his eye that NO is not an acceptable answer.

╰┈➤ "What an arse." its the only thing he can think to say, and Carver laughs. LAUGHS! Because it is all so....painfully funny. Here they are, complaining of a man who simply wanted to do his best, who only wanted to be happy. Who loved their mother and them so dearly he made the tough choices no one else could in order to protect them.

╰┈➤ Carver hopes, no, he prays, that perhaps one day he can claim to be even half the man his father was. Even if he does hate him a little bit.

dialogue prompts from mouth: stories by puloma ghosh.

you've been alone a long time.

____ is always watching you.

you're so lucky. you can be anything.

there is no forever.

it's beautiful, the way you fall.

people weren't always afraid of me.

if i disappeared, would anybody bother to search for me?

we have to accept the logic of the world we were given, and learn to live in it.

you don't smell like anyone else.

pleasure is another form of taking.

i don't live anywhere.

i want to die here.

i did something i shouldn't have last night.

will you tell me something, before you go?

i don't think ____ is coming home.

everything and nothing can look the same.

i have no idea what to do with you.

ghosts are just memories.

i should have been kinder to you.

why are you asking me such american questions?

this house is bad luck.

i thought it was just a story.

it's good to stay careful.

i keep seeing ____ everywhere.

it's been a long time since you've been home.

this place gives me a bad feeling.

don't be afraid. you know me.

you don't have to miss me. i'll stay with you.

everything you try to hold is sharp.

do something. make it stop.

you shouldn't be walking around.

kids like you worry me.

i keep forgetting things.

hurry home. it's getting dark.

i thought we were happy.

don't you ever want to go somewhere else?

loving has many configurations.

what will you do when you run out of _____?

i can drive you wherever you need.

i've tried my best to be like you, but i'm not.

we're happy, right?

what have you done to me?

everyone feels uneasy around a person they can never truly know.

of course it's not true, but isn't it fun?

the best lies are half-truths.

you're not the first person to ask.

i don't have time for your bullshit today.

i've run out of people who take me seriously.

i don't know if 'love' is even the right word.

i thought you'd be stupid enough to come.

be careful with words that aren't yours.

i have the book, if you want to read it.

i don't 'have' to do anything.

don't hate me for this.

i don't do this with anyone.

i'm more comfortable on my own.

you're allowed to be happy.

none of this is real, to begin with.

i didn't even know there was an underground party scene in _____.

i'm too tired and broke to fall in love.

there's nothing worse than being scared alone.

why did you come looking for me?

it's not the same for you, is it?

i can wait until morning to hate myself for this.

you're not human. i don't know what you are.

i don't exist. i can do whatever i want.

i thought you'd tell me everything, eventually.

there's nothing to tell. nothing you'd want to know.

is there a difference between fear and worship?

you brought me to life.

karaoke is when we're most human.

you can't choose the things you'll remember. the important things will find you.

____ doesn't know about you.

what are you afraid of?

you have to be afraid to live.

i'm sorry i never said goodbye.

this house is too big for us.

our planet is really strange.

you heard, then.

things were always fun with you.

good or bad doesn't matter anymore.

you've hardly looked at me all day.

can't you act like you want to be my mother? just for today?

are you listening? have you ever heard me?