Rain Is Liquid Sunshine

my arms a swirl of leaves

my chest a strong cloud

which vibrates perfectly

my eyes will be the night

my mind a starry form

and my voice a trembling sea

a nameless ending

they didn’t tell me

how lonely it’d be 

if i didn’t call myself “victim” or “survivor”

i had no clue

reactions could be so cruel

if i decided instead to grow higher

not because there is anything wrong with those titles

they just don’t belong to me 

and they didn’t understand why i refused to endure the trials

I pressed play to my old MySpace playlist and scrolled to the very bottom of my blog here. Besides the cringe military love posts and the endless pictures of Zac Efron (far more than I remember), I can’t help but be jealous of how deeply I used to feel everything. 

The cheesy posts about love - do I even have that in me, still? I don’t even remember the last time I was that wrapped up in someone. It was also hard to see the posts I subliminally made about abusive relationships...yipes.