Lockwood: Always a possibility.

Lockwood: It was a professional-grade biscuit.

Skull: And one day I'll be right, and it will be hilarious.

Skull: Don't die. It's terribly inconvenient. Trust me on this one.

Lockwood: We have tea, biscuits, and a can-do attitude. What more could we possibly need?

George, from the other room: Is it doing something interesting? If so, bring it in here!

Lockwood: I'm assessing the situation, formulating a plan, and preparing to be brilliant. Standard procedure, really. 

Lockwood: A silver lining. I like it. Let's find more. Your rapier is still in excellent condition, for instance. My coat is only slightly singed. These are all positives. 

 Lockwood: I have an answer. It may not be the answer you're looking for, but it's an answer nonetheless.

Y/N: Because he's brilliant and infuriating and he's my partner. And because someone has to make sure he doesn't accidentally set himself on fire. Again.

 Lockwood: A necessary sacrifice for the greater good. Those curtains were hideous anyway.

Lockwood: And, if necessary, a more stylish and effective first solution. 

Skull: Then I require entertainment! Tell me about the case. Leave no gory detail out. My dark soul craves stimulation.

Y/N: Right now I'm leaning towards idiot.

George: I-I obviously don’t. You just happen to talk very loudly.

Lockwood: Not really, but at this point, trespassing is the mildest of our many misdeeds.