~ℳ𝒶𝒾𝒶~

Age ~ 23

gender identity ~ genderfluid but I will only use this account wen feeling more fem

dere type ~ yan & dan

fun facts!! c: I am a cluster b personality, I love making art, and music constantly flows around me.

DNI: MAPS, anti-yan accounts (will b calld out publicly and then blocked we don't play games round here) anyone who knows me irl. (this isn't for u I promise), also anyone below 16.

Note ~ I made this to be an outlet and a safe space please feel free to share any thoughts and feelings you need to get off your chest. Dere's gotta stick together! <3

Trigger warnings will not be posted with each one since I am using this as my personal spac simply inviting others to view.

The possible triggers you will see are as follows; blood, soft gore, derealization, obsessive content, sa mentioned in art form, self harm (real and in art.) and of course yandere content. In the likes tab there will also be ed related content that has zero to do with recovery. The yandere content on my page will range in intensity so if it bothers you a bit you may not like it here. *shrug*

You let her change everything. You allowed her to worm her way into your mind and now I feel as if I am nothing at all to you....like you have already begun to slip away brfore any of the changes truly take place. Do I really mean so little that you would do that? Am I paranoid? Do you love me? No one loves me...I am only ever used.

I am the monster under my own bed.

I'm the monster inside of your head.

I'll manipulate myself into caring and I'll manipulate you into loving me. It'll all feel fine until the drugs kick in. We'll fall to rock bottom in the most graceful way that one can. Here it is safe. No expectations and no hatred except for the on we hold of life itself. You and I could run the world that way you know...only feeling for each other nothing and no one else really taking precedence.

Doesn't that sound lovely?

Perhaps it isn't for you...yet. Perhaps you still have some "ties" to this empty life we lead. Don't you want to leave too? Isn't the monotony drilling into your skull?

My fingers itch to explore, to hurt, to burn. Don't you see how beautifully destructive we could be?!

I am you and you are me. There's no escape...I'll win one day or we will die fighting.

Her lips against mine made me higher than any drug I'd ever tried. Her voice made me float on cloud nine, and her touch felt like sakura petals...I miss her more and more lately...why is it that I can't drop this? It has been so long since her and I last spoke...I know our relationship wasn't always healthy.

I am the first to admit mistakes were made but...even after all this time...I still feel the things that I promised her. I keep falling...she may be someone totally different yet here I am the same fool for her. I talk about her at least once a week, and think about her even more than that.

If you end up leaving you could be gone for years and I'd still respond to any message you sent. I would still be willing to sacrifice myself for you. You could kick me, hit me, humiliate me, and I'd STILL be here for you.

Just to let you know this is a vent post. <3

I miss when I was feeling manic...when my obsessions felt like flowers I was watering, and the affection I sought out was safe and fun. Today I feel like I don't deserve a thing. I walked in the rain tonight thinking of them...I'd never had multiple obsessions before this. It was always very pointed. I feel like a horrid person for this split.

It's hard for me to manage myself with one person let alone three...having these feelings today has made me realize I'm not a good person at all which I plan to bring up in therapy.

I appreciate ur kind words so so much! I'm so sorry about your break up and thx for saying the same about mine. I believe 1 day we will b able to heal...just a long process. My heart goes out to u <3