i swear to god maude i'll kill you

and you're like "Don't be stupid, Howell. I miss you too." bc like he's your boyfriend and shit and how could you not miss that cute face

but he just shakes his head like "No, Maude. i miss you. like yeah i miss you and junk because your across a whole ocean from me but i miss you. specifically you under me" and he's kinda blushing but you really can't tell because skype quality is shit but w/e

and you agree with him because holy goddamn hell you can make all the jokes you want about dan wanting his flatmate but that doesn't change the fact that he is fucking gorgeous and not exactly lacking in the genital area

and you guys start talking dirty and shit and he's blushing and you can feel yourself getting more and more turned on when out of npwhere he kinda just blurts out "i bet you'd want me to fuck you like danny boy would, huh?"

and you're hella surprised because that blog has been out of your life for ages now that you get to be living your imagines but you haven't forgotten how hot your bad boy portrayal of dan was so you're kinda like fuck yeah and you guys keep it up with the sexy talks before going to bed because it's four in the morning and dating dan is dangerous for your sleeping schedule but you don't exactly care

when you wake up the next day you hear someone pounding on your door and you're about to give whoever it is hell for bothering you until you see that it's dan and the minute you guys make eye contact you're about to say hi and holy shit why are you here i missed you when he grabs you and pushes you up against the nearest wall

and holy shit

okay